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Phicklephilly the BOOK is Available on Amazon! (Kindle and Paperback!)

“Love at first swipe! One man’s story of returning to Philadelphia in search of the perfect girlfriend. Will he succeed, or fail miserably in his quest to find love in this city? This is a funny and sometimes heart wrenching tale of a man trying to navigate the pitfalls of the modern dating world.”

Hey readers and beloved followers!

(That’s a pic of my dear friend Duncan’s dog, Cooper!)

I know I sent a message out a year and a half ago telling everyone my book was going to be published on Amazon. They said it takes 72 hours to review and create. That was almost 2 years ago.

I called Amazon Kindle last week and spoke with a charming woman named Teresa and she assured me that they would look into the problem. I loved it when she looked at my account and said my name and the title of the book. It was so nice to hear the title of my book announced over the phone by someone I never met.

Well, I just got word that I just published Phicklephilly, The Book… on Amazon! (for REAL this time. I promise!) And the craziest irony of all is, it was published on Valentine’s Day! How fitting!

The book is available for online purchase currently, in kindle and paperback editions.

Please buy my book. Know the secrets that are coming up in the blog before they happen! Will I find true love in the city of Philadelphia? All will be revealed in the book.

There will be more books.  I believe this could be the beginning of an ongoing series!

Thank you all for reading, commenting, and especially following my odyssey of romance!

Thanks to all of you for your support! (Yes! Finally reached my 2020 goal!)

You can buy it here:

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

 

 

 

 

Featured

Welcome to Phicklephilly

This blog is about my life here in Philadelphia, people I meet, and the experiences I’ve had with them. I’m a gentleman, but I’ve been told I’m very fickle. My goal is to bring you the best dating and relationship content I can.

I appreciate you reading, liking, commenting, and most of all following my blog. 

I publish every day.

Phicklephilly is now a BOOK! You can buy the incredible true saga of my challenges to find love in the city of Philadelphia.

You can buy it right here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Thank you!

I also have a Language Translator widget. You can enter the language of your choice and it will automatically translate anything I’ve written to the language of your choice instantly! (Gotta love technology! As a guy from the 60’s and 70’s, this is some Sci Fi stuff right here!)

Please check out my Collections tab. There you’ll find a list of all of the great collections of stories that are so fun to read.

Here is a list to get you started!

*** Go to the SEARCH widget on the Homepage and simply enter the name of the series you’re interested in, and off you go!

California Dreamin’

Celebrity Sightings

Crazy Dating Stories

Dating and Relationship Advice

Miscellaneous Stories 

Sun Stories

Tales of Rock

Tinder Moments

Wildwood Daze

I also have several series about all of the people I’ve met here in my 10 years in Philadelphia.

*** Go to the SEARCH widget on the Homepage and simply enter the name of the person and you can read their series!

Annabelle

Cherie

Maria

Michelle

Rebecca

If you’d like, you can just cut and paste the names into the SEARCH widget on the home page and go from there.

If anyone out there knows an easier or a better way to do this please let me know!

Thank you for your continued support!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Digital Detoxing Is The New Ghosting. Change My Mind.

In the olden days (before social distancing), when a crush wanted to decline an invitation to hang out, they could claim to be “at work” or “busy with friends.” But now, amid a global pandemic, when everything is closed, and everyone is sitting inside, glued to their phones, the only way to ghost someone is by taking a digital detox.

While you’d think the embargo on public events might hinder one’s ability to make last-minute excuses, leave it to the gems I date to come up with new, innovative reasons for why they can’t make it. When dating relies solely on technology, the only way out is off.

After a couple of days of sheltering-in-place, it became clear to me that I was going to need more human interaction than my roommates were capable of providing. I’d been following a fellow creative on Instagram, and after liking each other’s quarantine-chic posts, I decided it might be time for a socially-distant slide into their DMs.

To my surprise, they replied immediately. They told me how lonely they were, quarantined with their parents, and what a relief it was to connect with another person. For the next few days, we exchanged messages, swapped GIFs and music recommendations, and shared articles we’d enjoyed reading. We’d take turns complaining, confessing our fears for the future, and offering suggestions of what to make for dinner.

I loved having a quarantine crush — someone cute to gab with in self-isolation who wasn’t my roommate’s dog or the Amazon delivery person. We found love in hopeless, contactless place, so as the weekend drew closer, I resolved that it was time to kick it up a notch. I messaged my crush asking if they wanted to FaceTime, aka the social distancing version of, “Want to grab a drink this weekend?”

I was shocked to find that people can still be so committed to roundabout-rejection, even when they’re sitting in their sweatpants at home, baking sourdough bread on Instagram Live.

When I saw “Typing…” pop up, I began daydreaming about their response. Would they claim to be working up the courage to ask me out? Suggest we do a fun activity over Zoom? Ask for my address, so they could send me a bottle of wine?

But when my phone finally pinged, their response made my eyes roll so far back inside my head, I felt like I was riding Kingda Ka.

“Uh, sorry,” they said. “I’m actually going to ban myself from screens for a while, to attempt to become one with nature. Or something.”

That’s right, folks. Instead of hitting me with an, “I’m just not that into you,” a content creator for a digital publication opted to tell me that they were not planning on using their cellphone or computer for the foreseeable future. All to, presumably, get out of going on a FaceTime date with me. Casual!

At first, I tried to cut them some slack. According to Dr. Carla Marie Manly, clinical psychologist and author of Joy from Fear, people often give phony explanations to avoid conflict or hurting someone’s feelings. When you’re not into someone, claiming to be “so busy at work” (or going on a cellular strike) can help cushion the blow.

But Dr. Manly also shares that lying your way out of plans doesn’t just hurt the people you’re rejecting — it hurts you.

“A pattern of telling ‘white lies’ can reduce sensitivity to dishonesty and lead to greater dishonesty over time,” Dr. Manly says. “Now that you can’t tell a ‘white lie’ about having another engagement, you have the opportunity to increase your honesty-based skills and personal boundaries.”

I did what they couldn’t: I officially pulled the plug.

Look, I’m all for giving your body what it needs, but there’s a difference between “I’m not using my phone” and “I’m not using my phone to FaceTime you.” I was shocked to find that people can still be so committed to roundabout-rejection, even when they’re sitting in their sweatpants at home, baking sourdough bread on Instagram Live.

I get it: Telling someone that you’re not feeling them can be intimating. But instead of finding new ways to blow people off, perhaps self-isolation can be a time to reflect on what you want, what you don’t, and how to honestly and directly communicate that to the people you date (or politely reject).

When my crush posted on Instagram a few days later, I thought about calling them out. But ultimately, I decided against it. Instead, I did what they couldn’t: I officially pulled the plug.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

3 Non-Committal Zodiac Signs That Don’t Like To Label Their Relationships

There’s nothing quite like the frustration of falling for someone who seems to be dodging every opportunity to take your relationship to the next level. Whether you’ve been dating for a few months, or are approaching the one year mark, trying to build a relationship with non-committal zodiac signs can quickly start to feel like an uphill battle. The good news is that all hope is not lost. If you’re willing to be patient, these zodiac signs can make great partners, but it my take them a while to untangle their true feelings.

Gemini

Known for their paradoxical nature, Gemini is a sign that often experiences an excess of inner conflict that can make them difficult to pin down. It’s not uncommon for the unruly twins to crave the freedom of singledom, while also yearning for the comfort and convenience of a committed relationship. For this reason, Geminis can be hesitant to label a relationship. And in some cases, this apprehension can last after passing relationship-y milestones like meeting their family, or regularly socializing with their friends.

Libra

As natural conflict avoiders, Libras aren’t always forthcoming with how they feel. But when they do fall for someone, they tend to fall extremely hard. That’s why, maintaining an identity independent from their love interest can feel like an impossible feat for them. However, it’s not long before the observant Libra becomes aware of their propensity to get swept up in relationships — And since they’ve likely been burned in the past by committing too soon, more experienced Libras may feel the need to overcorrect this habit by constantly pumping the breaks, even when they’re genuinely into someone.

beautiful young boho woman close up with pink feathers and accessories at sunset
Shutterstock

Aquarius

Aquarians have so many wonderful qualities, but opening up about their emotions is not one of them. Being vulnerable is something that many Aquarians actively avoid. This is a sign that may also have unrealistically high standards for their relationships, which can make it hard for them to fully commit to a great partner who may not match up with the idealized image in their head. Your best bet when dealing with an Aquarius who’s being dodgy about labeling your relationship is to make your feelings known, then give them space to process. If they’re still being flighty, then it might be time to cut the cord.

When it comes to dealing with a partner who is apprehensive about putting a label on your relationship, it’s important to strike a healthy balance between pursuing your needs and respecting the fact that they may be processing their feelings a lot slower than you are. That said, as in every relationship, having an honest conversation about the future is the best way to assess whether you’re dating a compatible match.

10 Signs You’re Finally Getting Over A Breakup & Are No Longer In Love With Your Ex

Breakups can be brutal. But you’re past that now. Here’s how to know you’re over your ex.

The worst part of a breakup is not knowing how long it takes to get over a broken heart. At first, it feels like you’ll never figure out how to move on.

While you’ll probably always feel some type of way for your ex and the relationship that you had, slowly but surely you’ll start seeing the signs you’re finally getting over your ex.

We sympathize with those of you who were still pining over an ex (we cyberstalk our exes sometimes, too), we’re hoping this article will help you in your process of getting over a breakup. It might just be the catalyst you need to move past that toxic purgatory.

RELATED: 5 Quick Steps To Learn How To Get Over A Breakup Fast

1. You don’t feel homicidal when he starts dating someone else.

In fact, you’re thrilled for both of them. Especially since you’re the one who set them up in the first place. After all, just because the two of you didn’t work out doesn’t mean he shouldn’t find happiness with someone else.

On the flip side, if he happened to know someone who might just be your soulmate, you’re sure he’d do the same for you.

2. You feel no urgent need to return his phone calls, texts, and emails.

Because he no longer holds the number one spot in your heart. And it’s not as if he’s going to see the error of his ways simply because you’re prompt.

3. You are interested in other men.

When you and your ex first broke up, you hit the bar scene in earnest with your best gal pals, but your heart just wasn’t it, no matter how many jolly rancher shots they plied you with.

But just the other day, that sexy bartender smiled at you, and you experienced a moment of zing! And yesterday evening, you brushed shoulders with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome as you were picking up your kids from school, and your stomach did flip-flops. It looks like you’re ready to date again!

4. You now realize that a lot of his personality “quirks” were annoying or lame.

Like the fact that he was a compulsive liar. Or the fact that he constantly preened in front of the full-length mirror, making it really difficult for you to get dressed in the morning.

If you’re done seeing him through rose-colored glasses, you’re over him.

5. You consider your relationship a learning experience.

When you think back on the happy memories the two of you created together, you can’t help but smile. Yes, there were serious problems, but now, thank your lucky stars you know what to look out for in the future.

And that awful angst you experienced during your breakup and subsequent mourning period? It only made you stronger.

RELATED: Was Your Ex Literally The Worst? 5 Ways You Can Bounce Back And Move On

6. You no longer blame him for everything.

In the past, the bitterness you experienced due to your breakup caused you to inject spiteful comments about him into every conversation. Thank God that’s over and done with.

7. When you meet a new guy, you don’t automatically compare him to your ex.

Not only that, but you’re not even tempted to bring him up on your first date. Instead, you’re truly interested in learning more about this new guy’s life and, when asked about your own, are able to present yourself as a woman with hobbies and interests separate from those you shared with your old partner.

8. You think of yourself as single, not as someone who’s just gotten out of a relationship.

You’ve wallowed in self-pity for long enough, and are again ready to embrace the fun, adventure and boundless possibilities inherent in singledom. If you’re excited to be single, you’ve put Mr. Past where he belongs.

9. You truly feel that the relationship wasn’t meant to be.

And that you’re that much closer to finding the one you are supposed to be with.

10. You try to think of his middle name or phone number and can’t recall it.

Congratulations! The unnecessary detritus from your time together has been officially flushed from your system. Now go out and find someone who doesn’t give you chronic migraines.

Or just take it easy and spend some quality time with someone super-important: You.

30 Celebrities Photoshopped Side-By-Side With Their Younger Selves Show How Aging Has Changed Them

I know this isn’t my usual dating and relationship content, but I love these!

Dutch graphic designer Ard Gelinck makes time travel possible. At least, for celebrities. Gelinck has been photoshopping famous people as if they’re hanging out with their younger selves, and the images come out so cool, you can’t help but wonder if some of his subjects have them framed.

Gelinck has worked on these photomontages for about 10 years now, but it doesn’t look like he’s running out of ideas. On the contrary. The graphic designer continues to delight his 258K Instagram followers with regular uploads. Continue scrolling to check out the latest ones, and for his earlier works, fire up Bored Panda’s older articles here and here.

This post may include affiliate links.

Matt Leblanc

ardgelinck Report

The graphic designer said he’s always trying to challenge himself when it comes to Photoshop. “The ‘Then and Now’ series is quite old when you consider that me and my brother made the first image for it about 10 years ago,” Gelinck told Bored Panda. “About 5 years ago, I edited pictures for a lot of Dutch celebrities and it was a success, so I then started working with foreign celebrity photos. The first one was Madonna, and she even posted my image on her own Instagram.”

The Queen of Pop, however, isn’t the only Gelinck subject who has publicly admired his work. Rob Lowe, Tina Turner, Lionel Richie, Annie Lennox, BeeGees, Jason Priestly, Keshia Knight Pulliam, Carice van Houten, Sylvester Stallone, Robbie Williams, Michael Douglas, Ricky Gervais, and many more have also given him a shoutout. “When I think about it, the list is quite impressive,” Gelinck said.

Carrie Fisher

When the Photoshop wizard is composing the pictures, he’s often trying to make the subject and their former self embrace one another, be it an arm on the shoulder on a hug. “[The actual pose] depends on a lot of things. I’m trying to find one where they’re standing next to each other.”

The graphic designer thinks that his project has become so popular because people enjoy taking a trip down memory lane. Each of Gelinck’s images is like a shot of nostalgia that brings back past moments of enjoying music chart hits, TV shows, and movies.

Daniel Radcliffe

David Bowie

Ryan Reynolds

Kevin McCallister & Macaulay Culkin

Jennifer Aniston

Conan O’brien

Tom Hanks

Robert De Niro

Brad Pitt

Queen Elizabeth

Will Smith

Pierce Brosnan

Tom Felton & Draco Malfoy

Ricky Gervais

Hugh Grant

Dave Grohl

Julia Roberts

Matthew Perry

Harrison Ford

Mark Hamill

Peter Venkman (Bill Murray)

The Rock

Sean Astin

Jamie Lee Curtis

Dolly Parton

George Michael

Whoopi Goldberg

George Clooney

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

15 Signs He Wants To Marry You Someday

If you really love a man, you look forward to the day when he will propose you. You start weaving dreams of your future together looking for the signs he wants to marry you someday. You can sense that he admires you, possibly loves you deeply, but whether or not he wants to settle down with you someday remains a question.

If he wants to marry you someday, even if that day is not in near future, he will give you some signs. With a bit of attention to detail, you can easily figure out that he thinks you are the one for him. And that’s exactly what you want to know right? So go through the below signs that indicate he wants to make you his wife someday.

15 Signs He Wants To Marry You Someday

Perhaps you have been seeing each other for quite some time now and it feels like you have met your soulmate. And now you want to know whether he is going to be your life-partner or not. So you want to look for clear signs that indicate he is going to marry you someday. Asking that directly may not seem plausible to you, but you can certainly look for these signs.

1. He has made you a part of his life

Affairs are usually secrets and at times two people do not share much beyond their fantasies and desires. However, when two people fall in love, they tend to make efforts to know more and more about each other. And when a couple is looking to settle in life together, they make each other part of it much before.

If your man has no qualms introducing you to his friends, colleagues, has no issues to be seen with you in public places, and he no more endorses the single life, he is definitely looking to marry you someday.

If he shares his goals with you, confides in you, and includes you in his day to day life, he surely has plans to have you in his life forever.

You are important to him

2. You have met his family

If your guy has made you meet his family and close ones, then you should consider this as a very important sign that he wants to marry you someday. His family are the other people whom he loves the most, besides you. If he is seeing a future with you, he would want you to be present at his family’s get-togethers and gatherings. He is relying on you to make a connection with his family members, plus he also wants his family to know you.

Apart from this, he will take keen interest in your family, relatives and close friends. He looks forward to spending time with them as well, as he wishes to know them better too.

3. He talks about the future with you

If your man wants to have you as his wife one day, he will discuss his future with you. He makes you a part of all his future endeavors. He may often discuss financial and personal goals with you, and how he is planning to secure the future.

In fact, one of the most prominent signs he wants to marry you someday is that he involves you in his future pursuits.

4. You hang out with his best friends as a couple

If your man sees you as his ‘plus one’, it is very likely that you are a part of his friends’ gatherings, especially the friends who are happily married. He thinks about marriage and since it is the next organic step to your relationship, he wants you to hang out with his closed group of friends.

He also wants you and them to know each other, and this is another sign that he is looking to have you in his life long term. If he invites you to gatherings and outings when his friends too come with their spouses, it is a sign that he thinks of you as his future wife too.

His friends know you

Gradually, his friends start to see you as a couple and believe that you will be married soon.

5. He doesn’t shy from acknowledging your relationship on social media

Social media has assumed a lot of importance in our lives these days. If your man tags you in cute meme’s or doesn’t hesitate to show off your relationship in public, it is evident that he is not shy to admit that you two are together.

If he is not afraid to show your relationship to the public, it is evident that he doesn’t look at this relationship as a short-term fling. He is in for the long haul and that should include marriage as well.

6. He looks to save money

If your man has suddenly started to cut down on his expenses or is looking to save money, he is definitely readying to get married and settle down with you. If he suggests opening a joint bank account, it indicates he is looking to solidify your bond. He may always be interested in planning for joint assets, or buying a property.

Money is a very fragile topic and if he shows his willingness to discuss the topic with you, it is a very good sign of him being interested in spending his life with you.

7. His children love you as much

If the man in question, is divorced or a widower with kids, he will ensure you connect with his kids if he is serious about you. If his intentions are to marry you someday, his family would already be aware about you and you may already feel the warmth and respect you deserve from his family.

He will never make you look like a stranger in front of his family and will ensure that you feel included in his life. He may not be able to spend a lot of time with you owing to his other priorities, but you will feel valued and welcomed every time.

8. He is interested in living with you

Has your guy invited you over to stay with him? Is he keen to live with you? Or are you already living-in together? Either way, if you are living together or he is keen to move in together it is a top sign he wants to marry you someday. Has he recently mentioned about getting a pet together?

He wants to live together

He may have given the keys to his apartment to you. He is ready to live with you because he probably believes marriage is just a formality. A guy who is sharing his belongings with you, lets you in his sacred space and works to resolve issues (if any), is surely looking to share his life with you.

9. He asks for and values your opinions

If your guy wants to marry you someday, it is important that he considers you important in his life. Egos and relationships do not last together and if your man can set aside his ego and ask for your opinion on something, it means he really values you. It is also an indication he looks upon you to be his advisor on things he cannot crack himself. He trusts in your abilities and feels confident in them.

The guy understands that once you get married, there will a ton of issues where in you will be taking common decisions. In a way, now that he knows your stand on different things, it becomes easier for him to decide his future with you.

10. He knows and remembers your likes and dislikes

The little things about you. Yes, so this man who is looking to make you his wife someday focuses on the little things. He knows the real you, all that you like and dislike and he pays attention to the little things. The slightest change in your looks, that little frown, that worry you are trying to mask behind a smile – he can see it all. And he will make it a point to know what’s happening right there and then.

Anything that holds relevance to you holds relevance to him. He considers you very important in his life and anything that concerns you, concerns him as well. He remembers all the important days and dates, he knows how you like your beverage and he remembers you hate those red roses. Because in the end, it’s all about little things.

11. He doesn’t shy from showing affection

He doesn't hide his love

If a man truly wants to marry you someday, he wouldn’t have any qualms about being affectionate and loving towards you. He wouldn’t hesitate to show his love for you in public or when he is with his friends. You can feel the pride he feels when he tells others that you are his girlfriend, and his gestures indicate you are his future wife as well. He may also act touchy-feely even when he is in public with you.

A man who is not hiding you and his love for you from others is a man who can be trusted.

12. He loves your family as his own

If a guy shows the same compassion, love and respect for your family as he does for his own, he is clearly looking to marry you someday. He does not think of you as just his girlfriend, but he gives it a whole big angle by taking care of your family as his own. He considers it his duty to ensure that your family is alright and becomes protective towards them.

13. He often brings up kids in his conversations

Having children is organic to many couples post marriage. If your man talks about how he wants to raise his kids or what he has planned for them in future, it indicates he is looking to have a family soon and is gathering your views on the same.

Perhaps he has already told you what he would like to name his son as, or how he wants them to grow up as. Perhaps he is loved by all kids and you can see his childish side the moment he sees a kid. This indicates he is looking to have you as the mother of his kids and that he will be a doting dad someday.

14. You are his go-person when he is in a mess

All of us get into messy situations in life. And during these phases, we turn to our most trusted friends and partners. While women are a pro at sharing things, men usually like to keep things to themselves. Yet, if your man opens up in front of you and shares his feelings, his disappointments, his triumphs and his sorrows with you, you can be certain that you are the woman he intends to spend his life with.

You are his support

During such times, you should refrain from judging him and restrain yourself from poking him too much. If he has confidence in you, be careful not to shake it as it can be a real deal breaker.

15. You can just feel it!

The last but the most important sign that a man is going to marry you someday is in the trust and belief you have in him. You can feel he treats you as his wife and you like it that way. You can feel both of you living as husband and wife in the near future. You can see it in the way he treats you, or the way your heart goes racing at the sight of him. If you feel so, it is likely to happen and your soulmate connection is just about to happen!

He may have never told it to your face rightaway, but if you are smiling reading this, you know these are exactly the things he does for you. You are also hoping to settle down with him and spend the rest of your life with him. Rest assured, you are happy and hopeful that the “Will You…” question will soon pop up.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

60 Conversation Starters For Dating Apps During The Coronavirus Pandemic

Though you can’t go out for drinks, your love life is still open for business. As more and more people hunker down in their homes, hitting it off with a new match can be just one click away. While the grocery store may be out of toilet paper, rest assured, there’s no shortage of conversation starters for dating apps during the coronavirus pandemic.

According to Jaclyn Lopez Witmer, licensed clinical psychologist at Therapy Group of NYC, while it’s important to remain informed about the spread of coronavirus, it can also be beneficial for your mental health to talk to about other things, too.

“Focus on aspects of your life that are going well and that you feel you have some control over,”Lopez Witmer tells Bustle. “Part of staying healthy is maintaining connection, intimacy, and sex. These things boost mood and help release those feel-good hormones in our brains!”

If you just made the best coconut chicken curry or can’t stop learning all the TikTok dances, bonding with your crush about random topics other than the virus can help you both relieve some COVID-19-induced anxiety.

Here are 60 ways to start a conversation with a new match during a global pandemic.

PeopleImages/E+/Getty Images

Rather Than: “Hey”

1. What’s your go-to quarantine outfit?

2. Tell me about the best meal you’ve cooked so far.

3. So, what’s the most annoying thing your roommate has done since quarantine began?

4. Have you started any new projects or hobbies?

5. What made you laugh today?

6. When’s the last time you called your family?

7. What was the highlight of your day? Mine was walking from the kitchen to my living room.

8. I’ve rearranged the furniture in my room three times. What indoor activities have you been up to?

9. I keep a phone charger in the living room and another one in my bedroom, so I don’t have to go back and forth when my phone dies. What’s your best quarantine life-hack?

10. OK, I am attempting to make my own cold brew. Stay tuned.

11. You’re lucky you caught me, I’ve been unbelievably busy these days, with all the TV-watching and pajama-wearing.

12. Settle a debate: My roommates are wondering if a cheese quesadilla can be considered a meal or a snack?

13. Does swiping through this dating app count as “indoor exercise”?

14. What’s the most impulsive thing you’ve done during quarantine? I cut my own hair last week, and we’re not going to talk about it.

15. My roommate’s cat has been giving me life these past weeks. Do you have any pets? (Or plants!)

16. What are you making for dinner tonight?

17. So, have you also gotten into baking sourdough bread?

18. I don’t know how everyone on the internet seems to be doing crafts and making things! I’m exhausted just from playing on my phone.

19. Do you find that working at home is better or worse than going into your office?

20. So, when’s the last time you showered? Be honest.

Rather Than: “What’s up?”

21. What’s the last book your read?

22. Are you listening to any good podcasts in quarantine?

23. OK, I’m desperate for a new corny movie or bad TV show to get into. What have you been watching?

24. What songs are on your quarantine dance party playlist?

25. I’m going through old photos and thinking about all the places I want to go to when this is over. Where’s the best place you’ve ever traveled to?

26. Ugh, remember going to bars? What’s your go-to spot to get a drink in the city.

27. I would give anything for an oat milk latte from Starbucks right now. What’s your favorite coffee place?

28. I can’t decide what I should wear to this virtual dance party tonight, can I get your opinion on these two outfits?

29. What are the three places or group activities are you missing most right now?

30. I’m thinking about turning my kitchen table into a mini-office. Do you have any work-from-home tips?

31. Hmmm, should I make pasta with pesto or pasta with red sauce tonight?

32. Currently taking any and all funny video recommendations. Please send anything that made you laugh today.

33. Love that photo of you on a hike! Are you finding ways to stay active during quarantine?

34. That’s so cool that you’re a yoga teacher — do you have any live-stream classes that you recommend?

35. I love that sweatshirt in your first photo, where do you buy your comfy clothes? I’m always looking to add some flare to my quarantine uniform.

36. Please tell me you made that amazing dinner in your second photo. What are you cooking during quarantine tips?

37. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? I would ride the subway just to ride it.

38. What’s something small about life before quarantine that you miss? I miss drinking coffee in a to-go cup and getting honked at by cab drivers when I’m crossing the street.

39. Do you have any tips on making my living room a better place to work out in?

40. OK, for my next Zoom meeting, do I make my background the coffee shop in Friends or a Beyoncé album cover?

Rather Than: “You’re cute.”

41. You know what they say — (social)distance makes the heart grow fonder.

42. Are you a hardware store or pharmacy? Because I want to get all up in your essential business.

43. Maybe if we hit it off, we can go back to my Zoom.

44. Excited to have some quality (Face)Time with you.

45. Did the sun come up, or did you just smile? No really, I haven’t been outside in four days and don’t know if the sun is up.

46. I’ve lost track of what day it is, but you matched me at just the right time.

47. I’ll put on my nicest sweatshirt for our FaceTime date.

48. I can’t take you out, but I can send some delivery to your house.

49. It’s a good thing I didn’t meet you at the grocery store today because I don’t think I could stay six feet away from you.

50. What’s the worst first message you’ve ever received on this app?

51. I need to be honest: I’m happy you get to see these cute pics of me because I haven’t worn real pants in a month.

52. So, where should we go on our IRL date? We have all the time in the world to plan it.

53. If we were safe to go out and about right now, where would you be taking me?

54. You’re so sexy. You’re like straight out of my quaran-dreams.

55. I bet you look cute even when you don’t shower for three days.

56. If I met you out in public right now, what would you be wearing?

57. Did you see the NYC Health Department statement on sex and COVID-19? It’s worth the read.

58. You’re a sight for quarantined-eyes.

59. If I could rearrange the letters in “quarantine,” I’d put “U” and “I” together.

60. You don’t have to be six feet tall, but you do have to be six feet away.

 

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How The Coronavirus Pandemic May Affect Dating Long-Term, According To 7 Experts

People keep referring to life after the world “gets back to normal,” but what will normal look like? After months of self-isolation and anxiety, social distancing will most likely affect dating long-term. But according to experts, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Instead of greeting each other with a handshake or hug, perhaps people will keep their distance. Until you get to know someone, you might not feel the need to rush into a no-strings-attached hookup. And while many daters will probably continue conducting themselves as they typically would, the fear provoked by the pandemic may continue to loom overhead.

“People don’t like to be told what to do, and in addition, very few people do what is best for them,” Lynell Ross, a certified health and wellness coach, behavior change specialist, and relationship expert, tells Bustle. Although public health officials are recommending social distancing for months to come, that doesn’t guarantee everyone will follow those guidelines.

“It will be up to each individual to decide what advice they will listen to, and how they will proceed with dating and socializing,” Ross says. And for many, that will mean continuing to social distance and connect with partners over dating apps, video chat, and text.

Two Asian woman chatting and drinking coffee at cafe.
Shutterstock

Therapists Believe Dating Will Slow Down

As people replace in-person meetings with online conversations, the pace of dating has been gradually slowing down. And that’s a trend Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, sees continuing into the future.

“Daters are emotionally connecting more, which is going to impact dating long-term in a positive way,” she tells Bustle. “[They] are naturally talking more and opening up to each other and really connecting.”

Those looking for serious relationships will see the benefits of getting to know their potential partners a bit better before becoming too invested. What do they want for the future? What are their likes and dislikes? By chatting online and having these discussions early on, they’ll get their answers upfront.

If you did end up meeting someone during quarantine, experts believe your relationship will likely be off to a good start. “Coming out of this, couples will feel more connected and bonded and stronger overall,” Bronstein says.

Dating Coaches Say People Will Be Pickier

According to Lana Otoya, a professional dating coach from Millennialships, dating will eventually go back to the way it was pre-pandemic.

“This is because so much of dating is based on sex and sexual chemistry, and this is something that comes across greatly only while speaking to others in person,” she tells Bustle. “Humans want to connect in person, so once the bans and lockdowns are lifted, dating life will go back to normal.”

Otoya predicts that people will feel that magnetic energy, just like they always have. But one thing that might change? How good you are at weeding out potential partners from those you have nothing in common with.

Since people have been using Zoom and FaceTime to talk to potential dates, they’ve gotten used to reading people and figuring out what they’re truly like, right from their living rooms. And that skill will carry into the outside world, Otoya says, and make for stronger relationships.

A Dating App Founder Thinks Virtual Dating Isn’t Going Anywhere

The world was once swipe-based, Dawoon Kang, the co-founder and co-CEO of the dating app Coffee Meets Bagel, tells Bustle. But going forward, she predicts daters will be in less of a rush.

“We can take the time to go deeper with one person at a time — give each person a proper chance,” Kang says. “I think ‘slow dating’ can actually be a faster way to find that type of genuine connection you might be looking for.”

Singles are also more open to using virtual dating than ever before. “For the past month, we’ve been surveying our US users on a weekly basis to see how the pandemic is affecting their dating lives,” she says. “The biggest trend we’ve noticed is that singles are increasingly becoming more open to virtual dating.”

During the week of April 13, 84% of US singles said they were open to a virtual first date, Kang says, and nearly half plan to text or video chat with their matches, while 38% plan to call more.

Public Health Experts Predict People Will (Literally) Take Up Space

Although it’s only been a couple of months since people last mixed and mingled in public, social distancing rules will be ingrained in people’s brains for a while, Carol Winner, MPH, MSE, a public health expert and founder of give space, tells Bustle. And that’ll stick with you as you venture back into public spaces.

“Proximity is a new issue for many people, and it will have an impact on the way singles date for at least a year,” she says. “Less kissing on the first date or even holding hands is to be expected.” Picture yourself going for a socially-distant walk, or having lengthy convos on the phone, before meeting up IRL for the first time.

“It’s not about being modest or prude; it’s about community health,” Winner says. “Recovering from the effects of a global pandemic doesn’t happen overnight, and some things will change indefinitely. People will be vigilant about who they spend time with within the next year or so.”

A Behavioral Expert Foresees A Return To Singledom

Tracy Crossley, a behavioral relationship expert, believes more people will want to remain single after coronavirus, as it’ll be a while before they feel comfortable around strangers again. Fear will play a role, she says, so you may find other ways to be social that don’t involve dating, kissing, or having sex.

That said, it’s possible you’ll respond by jumping into bed with someone who isn’t necessarily a good match, simply because you missed being around people, Crossley says, adding there are many possible outcomes.

The third option, she says, is that people will continue to take time to self-reflect and think about what they want in a partner, and then slowly get to know someone without being in a rush. “People either come together or go the other direction,” she says, “and it will continue to be a diverse universe as individuals are not all the same.”

Matchmakers Expect Your Priorities To Shift

People’s perception of their “ideal partner” will change after the coronavirus pandemic, Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle. “We are going through a life-changing situation making […] dating wants and needs a lot clearer,” she says. Facing a global health crisis can reframe your priorities, what you want, and where you’d like to see your life go.

Communication skills have also been improving for everyone stuck at home, as we text and video chat with cute strangers. “Even though touching in a relationship is bonding, so is talking about your hopes and dreams,” Trombetti says. “Whether consciously or not, this will carry over into relationships for a while, which is a plus.”

Psychiatrists Warn That A New Vetting Process Is In Order

Psychiatrists believe that everyone’s fears won’t be alleviated until, to some degree, a vaccine is found for COVID-19. “Some level of caution may be simmering in the background, but whether or not someone is vaccinated for COVID-19 will not likely be at the top of people’s minds when dating three years from now,” Dr. Margaret Seide, a board-certified psychiatrist, tells Bustle.

Until then, she says people likely adopt a stronger vetting process when it comes to dating. “There will be much communication prior to meeting up,” Seide says. “Daters will be selective about with whom they are willing to meet.” And that may mean asking more personal questions, including their line of work and who they live with. “People will essentially be weighing out your corona exposure risk factors before meeting you,” she says. “That’s reasonable; it’s a new world.”

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC or NHS 111 in the UK for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support.

 

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If Your Guy Constantly Criticizes You About These 4 Things, Break It Off

Relationships, even the best ones, are not always perfect. They are filled with conflict, and it’s important to recognize that fighting in a relationship is completely normal. But there are some conflicts that should be considered red flags — namely, when your partner criticizes you for certain things. Of course, criticism comes in different forms, and not all of it is harmful. But some forms of criticism can have a lasting negative effect, not just on a relationship, but on your fundamental sense of self. Once you recognize these things, it’s important to evaluate the effect it can have on you and your relationship.

Relationship and etiquette expert April Masini explains to Elite Daily, “When criticism is really just about preferring meat cooked well done, not rare — and not about a global criticism like, ‘You’re the worst cook I’ve ever met’ — it’s harmless. But when a partner uses criticism as a tool to maintain a power dynamic, there’s abuse underfoot. Stinging, chronic criticism can be abusive if the point of the comments are to make the person feel bad about themselves and to manipulate them that way.”

1. Your Appearance

“Any criticism that has to do with body image is generally a touchy area,” says Masini. “For instance, height, freckles, big breasts, small breasts, big rear end, small rear end, waist size, hair, nose, skin tone — these are all areas that people tend to concern themselves with about their own bodies, and they worry about how they may appear to others.”

Masini explains that partners want to feel like they’re attractive to each other, so criticizing their appearance can have a negative effect on the relationship as a whole.

Angry unhappy young couple ignoring not looking at each other after family fight or quarrel, upset thoughtful spouses avoiding talk, sitting silently on couch, having relationship troubles.

Shutterstock

2. Your Family

Masini says if you’re dating someone who criticizes your family — your parents, your siblings, or your kids (if you have them) — you should take into consideration how that makes you feel and the effect it has on you.

“It’s very tough to do this, but when possible, avoid or at least limit any criticism of these family members and these relationships,” says Masini. “They’re too close to the heart … to be taken objectively.”

Family stuff can complicate relationships, especially when you vent about your family issues to your partner. This can make it easy for your partner to criticize your family alongside you, but if a line is crossed, it’s important to speak up.

3. Your Personal Traits

You can’t change the way you were brought up and the life experiences you had that shaped who you are today.

“Personal traits like being late, not being well-read or well-educated, having a different religion or culture of origin, coming from a different socioeconomic group, or being either ‘low class’ or ‘uppity’ are very bad arenas in which to criticize a partner,” says Masini. “People can’t change their pasts, and criticizing a partner for being ill-bred or uncultured presents a tough fix for the person hearing this.”

As Clinical Csychologist Dr. Joshua Klapow, Ph.D, previously told Elite Daily, “When feedback is directed at your character, your personality, or who you are vs. what you are doing, then the feedback is becoming criticism. When you feel like you don’t want to hear from your partner, or when you are avoiding them or your interactions so you won’t be criticized, it is time to take action.”

4. Your Career

If your partner makes you feel bad about your career — whether it’s because they wish you were wealthier, don’t approve of what you’re doing, or want you to be more well-known in your field — it may be a red flag.

Masini says lots of people value themselves based on how well they’re doing in their careers, so if your partner criticizes you for your work, it may end up hurting your self-esteem – and that’s not good. It’s particularly terrible when your partner decides you’re not successful enough or making enough money for them. Your partner should keep these kinds of complains to themselves, “or date someone who has a better chance of the kind of success that is important to [them],” says Masini.

Your partner may criticize you for your career if money becomes an issue in your relationship, especially if you live together. They might feel so stressed by the lack of funds that it can create a negative environment for your relationship. “Collateral damage occurs when partners feel devalued in a relationship and look outside that marriage or partnership for sex, love, and self esteem,” says Masini.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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14 Opening Lines To Use On Dating Apps While Quarantined

There’s nothing quite like a global pandemic to put a serious damper on your social life. But if there’s one positive thing about being in quarantine 24/7, it’s the opportunity to step up your dating app game, beginning by brushing up on your icebreakers. After all, your dating life doesn’t have to end in quarantine, it just has to adjust a little. Honestly, we could all use a laugh right now, and having a few flirty opening lines to use on dating apps while quarantined is a great way to not only to put a smile on someone’s face, but maybe even score you a FaceTime date with a cutie.

Taking that first step and reaching out to someone can sometimes be the hardest part, so if you get writer’s block when it’s time to make the first move, no worries. Here are some opening line ideas to help get you chatting.

1. Just so you know, I’m the total package: beauty, brains, and hella toilet paper.

2. Most important question ever: Team Joe Exotic or Team Carole Baskin?

3. Hey, you’re cute… wanna Netflix Party and chill?

4. Quick! What are your top three favorite things about being in quarantine? Go!

martin-dm/E+/Getty Images

5. I’m just looking for someone who enjoys sweatpants, Uber Eats, and taking long walks around the living room together.

6. If I said I wanted to quarantine together, would you hold it against me? And by it, I mean you.

7. You’re cute! I could see us getting SOCIAL in the not too DISTANT future.

8. What’s the best thing you’ve marathon-watched today?

9. I know we’re on lockdown, but I was hoping you’d want to open up to me.

10. Corny jokes are the quickest way to my heart. Tell me your best quarantine joke!

SimonSkafar/E+/Getty Images

11. It’s a good thing we’re in quarantine, because I don’t think I could stay six feet away from you otherwise.

12. I could definitely see myself practicing social ~closeness~ with you after all this.

13. What’ve you been doing to stay sane? I hit up this cutie on [insert whatever dating app you’re using here] and it’s definitely helping.

14. Hey! We should talk, because between you and me, it’s getting pretty boring having conversations with myself in here.

Get out there and start chatting — from a responsible social distance, of course.

 

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A Psychologist Explains The Real Reason You’re Lonely & How To Love Being Alone

With the challenge of social distancing, many people now have to spend time alone, and many are having problems with it. We are social beings, and we are meant to connect with each other both physically and emotionally, so of course it’s very challenging for many, especially extroverts, to be alone.

Yet it’s vitally important for all of us to be able to be alone with ourselves and still feel peaceful and full within.

The true secret to beating loneliness.

While connection with others is very important, even more important is connection with ourselves—our soul—and with our higher power. It’s this inner connection that takes away the inner feeling of loneliness and emptiness. In fact, without this inner connection, even connecting with others can leave you feeling alone and empty, which is one reason people turn to addictions such as food, alcohol, drugs, TV, social media, and so on.

Self-abandonment is the true source of feelings of loneliness and emptiness. It happens when you ignore your feelings, judge yourself, numb with various addictions, or hope someone else will take responsibility for your feelings. When you focus on truly connecting with yourself rather than abandoning yourself, you might discover that you actually enjoy being alone.

Sometimes people feel this inner connection with meditation, yet often when they are done meditating, they again feel the alone and empty feeling of inner disconnection. With social distancing, it’s important to be able to maintain your inner and spiritual connection all day.

How to create your inner connection.

You can do this at any time. You don’t need to be sitting in meditation or doing nothing to start practicing inner connection.

1. Tune into your feelings.

Take some deep breathes and shift your focus from your mind and into your body. Get present in your body and scan your body, noticing any tension, tightness, numbness, emptiness or fluttering anywhere. Breathe into these feelings.

Instead of trying to avoid any of your difficult feelings, move toward them, imagining that they are your inner child–your feeling soul self—communicating with you through feelings. Feelings other than peace and fullness inside–such as anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, or emptiness—are the way your soul lets you know that you are abandoning yourself.

2. Recognize the ways you are abandoning yourself.

Ask yourself what you’re telling yourself and how you are treating yourself—how you are abandoning yourself. What self-abandoning actions or beliefs do you have that are causing you to feel disconnected from yourself? Allow the answers to come from within—from the less-than-peaceful feelings.

3. Visualize your higher self.

Once you understand what you are doing to self-abandon, visualize your higher power or an older, wiser aspect of yourself, your higher self. Ask, “What would be loving to me right now?” Open and listen for the answer.

The answer might not come immediately, but if you stay open, the answer will come. Spirit is always here guiding us in our highest good, and opening to learning with your higher guidance will eventually let you know that you are never alone—that you are always being guided toward your highest good.

This is so helpful in learning to love being alone.

4. Take the actions guided by spirit.

This might mean starting to do something creative: writing, drawing, inventing. It might mean listening to beautiful music. It might mean going out in nature, if you can do so safely. It might mean catching up on work. It might mean playing with a pet, or even getting a pet. It might mean reaching out virtually to connect with loved ones or help someone else. It might mean looking to what we’re eating to see how we can better support our immune system.

There is much to learn about what is loving to you, and what better time to learn it than now? You will also find that the more you learn to connect with yourself and your higher guidance, the more you will find joy in connecting with others virtually. This is because, instead of trying to get your emptiness filled, you are already filled with love and can receive great joy from sharing your love with others.

 

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