Karen – Why This Would Have Never Worked

The goal is to never measure life by how many breaths we take but by moments that take my breath away.

I matched with Karen on Tinder. Here is her profile:

Karen, 46

Pennsylvania State University

“I am loving my life! Every day is a new adventure and a new reason to smile and thank God for a new day. I’ve been given a new lease on life and am so grateful. The goal is to never measure life by how many breaths we take but by moments that take my breath away. Own your mistakes because they made you who you are today. And most importantly love and appreciate yourself because God does not make mistakes. If you say you’re in military and deployed, be prepared to prove it. Scammers just go away!”


Okay… This is the first time on an online dating site did I see a woman use the word God in their profile. (Red Flag) She also says nothing about herself or what her interests are or what her intentions are on this site. (Red Flag) She almost says nothing but life empowering clichés in her profile. (Red Flag) It also sounds like she’s been scammed by someone posing to be in the military. I have heard of this sort of thing and they just try to get these vulnerable middle-aged women to send them money.

Anyway… She reaches out to me first.

“Hi there.”

“Hi Karen! What prompted to swipe right on my profile?”

“I liked your profile and what it said.”

“Thanks. You look lovely. Would you like to meet up for lunch or a drink?

“Thanks, I think that would be great.”

“Yes. Should we exchange numbers.”

“Sure.” (provides phone number)

(I provide her with mine)

So I text her just to make the connection.

“Hi. It’s (My Name)


“Hi Karen. I’m on my way to Rittenhouse Row!” (That’s a street festival that we have every year in the Spring.)

“Ah ok. Well try to have fun. I gotta go for now Hun. Gotta leave soon. But let’s chat later and see about planning a meeting ok?”

“Sounds great!”

“What’s your schedule like over the weekend? Maybe we can figure something for today or tomorrow. Weekends are usually best for me if possible.”

“I’m at Rittenhouse Row today. Tomorrow I’m out-of-town. (Bold faced lie – I’ll be on another date with someone else)  “Next weekend?”

“Hmm. Will see I guess.”


Okay, so clearly this lady is a little lonely. But what was the part about her saying:  “I gotta go for now Hun. Gotta leave soon.”

Hun? What are you a waitress at a diner?

Anyway. I don’t know what her deal is. I also didn’t care for that “Hmm. Will see I guess.” Isn’t that phrase: We’ll see instead of Will?

All that horseshit about taking your breath away and God already in there twice, I’m just sort of doing this to see how this short movie plays out. And sure enough it does.

A week goes by and I’ve basically forgotten about her. (Time moves fast on Tinder) I get a message on Tinder, not a text in my phone which is also weird.

“Hey (My Name) I don’t there is any point in meeting. I wish you the best. Tc.”

I don’t respond. I simply screenshot her profile and our dialogues for the blog. She gives no explanation as to why she no longer wants to meet me. I guess she figures that if we exchanged numbers we should meet that very weekend within the next 24 hours. Has she no life? But I suppose at her age she can’t wait around. She doesn’t want to waste her time on someone like me who’s busy and isn’t making my love life my #1 goal.

Phicklephilly’s not going to write itself.


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Author: phicklephilly

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11 thoughts on “Karen – Why This Would Have Never Worked”

  1. I’m guessing that she just doesn’t like to be “waiting on your phone call.” You certainly gave her the impression that you weren’t dying to meet her – perhaps rightfully so.

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