Dating and Relationship Advice – Dating Rules For Women – Tried & True, Old & New

“When he asks you questions answer them honestly. Keep the conversation informative, but not skeleton in the closet informative.”

The best dating rules for girls have not changed much over the years. There are some that are more modern, however the evolution of the rules has come with changes in society.

Long gone are the days when girls sit by the phone and wait for guys to call them. Back in the day they did that because it was wrong for them to call a guy. The only way they would hear from a guy is if they were home when he called. Today it’s within the dating rules for girls for her to call a guy, however it is not in the rules for her to call him incessantly.

The following is a list of dating rules for girls to follow before, during and after her date. Some may seem outdated, however they’ve been tested over time and have been proved to work like a charm.

Before the Date

  1. Look your best for the date. Taking time for proper grooming is always a good idea. It takes time for a lady to get ready, so plan enough time to shower, do your hair, nails and make-up. When you go out on a date always make sure you do a little extra to show him that you’re excited to be spending the evening with him.
  2. Wear an appropriate outfit on the date.  If you can, find out what you’ll be doing, so that you can pick clothes to match the activity. It’s never fun to show up for a bowling date wearing a skirt and heels. If he wants to keep the activity a surprise, it is appropriate to ask what type of clothes to wear. Make sure your clothing and dress are modest, clean and match.
  3. Be on time. It’s just good old fashioned dating etiquette to be on time. This shows that you respect him and the time that he has for you. It’s been said on many occasion that a woman should keep a man waiting, I don’t think they asked the man who is waiting and waiting what he thinks of that. (I hate lateness and I feel like everybody’s late nowadays. It’s inexcusable based on all of the instant communication we all now possess.)

During the Date

  1. Allow him to be a gentleman. Chivalry is not dead. The right kind of man loves to show his respect for you by opening car doors, holding open doors, helping your coat…etc. It’s a way that they can take care of you. If you’re unsure he’s this type of man, lag behind a little bit to see if he will open the door for you. You will know soon enough and will be able to adjust accordingly.
  2. Be a lady. Men don’t like a girl who’s good at belching, farting, swearing and so forth. Use your good manners with them and they’ll appreciate it.
  3. Be confident. This all starts when you’re getting ready for the date. If you look good, then it’s easier to feel good about yourself. Men love women who exude confidence (not arrogance). Avoid fidgeting, biting your nails, or filing your nails.
  4. Keep the conversation balanced. By this I mean do not control the conversation with things about you. Asking a man questions about his life, job, family, hobbies will show him that you are genuinely interested in him. Look him in the eyes when you’re talking. When he asks you questions answer them honestly. Keep the conversation informative, but not skeleton in the closet informative. (Hate that.)
  5. Avoid the past. One of the worst first date conversations you could have is who you’ve dated, how/why you broke up and the scars you carry. If he asks, you can politely decline answering. Your baggage should stay at home where it belongs, with the skeletons. (This rule goes for both sexes)
  6. Offer to help pay for the date. Politely offer to help pay for dinner, however don’t make a big deal out of it if he says no. Guys should never expect the girl to pay. Also, they know when you’re trying to get out of it by conveniently ‘going to the bathroom’ when the check comes.
  7. Respect yourself. Not every date is the best date ever. There are times when the guy’s not who you thought he was and starts acting inappropriately. Respect yourself enough to say no and end the date. Do not worry about hurting his feelings, worry about keeping yourself safe and happy.
  8. Enjoy the moment. Smile a lot. Life’s too short, so laugh and have fun. Even if you know the relationship with this will go no further than this evening, have a good time. Dating is all about experimenting, so live it up.

After the Date

  1. Show your manners. Thank him for a great time. Again, smile and look him in the eyes so that he knows you are sincere. Let him know if you’re interested in seeing him again.
  2. Give him some time to call you. Don’t expect a call the next day. If it happens that’s great, however if it doesn’t give him a few days. Calling him a few days later to thank him again for a wonderful time is appropriate.
  3. Know when to give up. If he hasn’t called you after a few days, let it go. It’s time to move on. It’s not in the dating rules for girls to sit around waiting for a phone call that won’t come. This only puts you in a bad mood and nobody likes feeling like that. (I’ve experienced this first hand.)

 

Let’s face it ladies, you love the amazing men out there. You love it when we’re interested in you. You love it when we treat you with respect and make you feel like the lady you truly are.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Wildwood Daze – 1974 to 1975 – Jaws

I was in Fels Junior High School.  My time at Fels was the worst time of my young life. I was entering puberty. I had greasy hair, braces, zits all over my face, glasses and weird clothes. I don’t know what my mom was thinking when she bought my wardrobe back then. I wore black dress shoes that had buckles on them. Kids would make fun of me and called them Pilgrim shoes. I was a total mess. If I had been a good student or an athlete all would have been forgiven but I was just a total loser. Low self-esteem, depression and anxiety didn’t help. But I was a smart kid. But that doesn’t help when you’re a total failure. I remember my mom later saying she wished she could have just put me to sleep and woke me up when I was 18.

The school of thought back then was you didn’t have to love your kids. I remember my mother later telling me that she didn’t love me during that time. I get it. But you don’t tell your child that. You don’t ever say those words to a little kid.

I loved to read. My father taught us all how to read before we ever went to school. He would spend time with us with books on how to sound out words and vowels and consonants. I will say when it came to educating us kids my father was amazing.

He would read us The Hobbit at night before bed.

I was a deadly reader long before my peers. I have instilled the same in my daughter growing up.  I may say no to you for another toy but I’ll never say to you if you want a book. I’ve bought plenty of both for Lorelei but she has always been an avid reader like her dad. I love that about her!

 

I was sitting in the auditorium after lunch one day doing study hall or whatever and this little Jewish ginger kid named Eric Dorfman gave me a paperback he had just finished entitled Jaws.

I loved sharks, dinosaurs, barbarians, superheroes and horror movies and everything like that so I was interested.

“You should read this. You’ll like it.”

I had never read an “adult novel” until then. I had only read science books, text books for school and most of all, comic books.

The book opens with a strong hook. Just like the opening of the film that would later premiere. I remember being drawn into the story immediately. My dad told me that the author Peter Benchley was the grandson of the author Robert Benchley.

Robert Charles Benchley was an American humorist best known for his work as a newspaper columnist and film actor. From his beginnings at the Harvard Lampoon while attending Harvard University, through his many years writing essays and articles for Vanity Fair and The New Yorker and his acclaimed short films, Benchley’s style of humor brought him respect and success during his life, from New York City and his peers at the Algonquin Round Table to contemporaries in the burgeoning film industry.

His grandson Peter Bradford Benchley was an American author and screenwriter. He is known for the bestselling novel Jaws and co-wrote its subsequent film adaptation with Carl Gottlieb. Several more of his works were also adapted for cinema, including The Deep, The Island, Beast, and White Shark.

Later in life, Benchley came to regret writing such sensationalist literature about sharks, which he felt encouraged excessive fear and unnecessary culls of such an important predator in ocean ecosystems and became an outspoken advocate for marine conservation.

By 1971, Benchley was doing various freelance jobs in his struggle to support his wife and children. During this period, when Benchley would later declare he was “making one final attempt to stay alive as a writer”, his literary agent arranged meetings with publishers. Benchley would frequently pitch two ideas, a non-fiction book about pirates, and a novel depicting a man-eating shark terrorizing a community. This idea had been developed by Benchley since he had read a news report of a fisherman catching a 4,550 pounds (2,060 kg) great white shark off the coast of Long Island in 1964. The shark novel eventually attracted Doubleday editor Thomas Congdon, who offered Benchley an advance of $1,000 leading to the novelist submitting the first 100 pages. Much of the work had to be rewritten as the publisher was not happy with the initial tone. Benchley worked by winter in his Pennington office, and in the summer in a converted chicken coop in the Wessons’ farm in Stonington. The idea was inspired by the several great white sharks caught in the 1960s off Long Island and Block Island by the Montauk charter boat captain Frank Mundus.

Jaws was published in 1974 and became a great success, staying on the bestseller list for 44 weeks. Steven Spielberg, (He was only 26 years old when he directed Jaws!) who would direct the film version of Jaws, has said that he initially found many of the characters unsympathetic and wanted the shark to win.  Book critics such as Michael A. Rogers of Rolling Stone shared the sentiment but the book struck a chord with readers.

Benchley co-wrote the screenplay with Carl Gottlieb (along with the uncredited Howard Sackler and John Milius, who provided the first draft of a monologue about the USS Indianapolis) for the Spielberg film released in 1975. Benchley made a cameo appearance as a news reporter on the beach. The film, starring Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, and Richard Dreyfuss, was released in the summer season, traditionally considered to be the graveyard season for films. However, Universal Studios decided to break tradition by releasing the film with extensive television advertising. It eventually grossed over $470 million worldwide. George Lucas used a similar strategy in 1977 for Star Wars which broke the box office records set by Jaws, and hence the summer blockbuster was born.

Benchley estimated that he earned enough from book sales, film rights and magazine/book club syndication to be able to work independently as a film writer for ten years.

I remember being terrified reading the book in my bed. I think about that now, and it seems silly. How could a monster who couldn’t leave the ocean even get me in my bed. But I was young and this was a grown up scary story. One of the things that I noticed about the book that was different from the movie was this: In the book Hooper is having an affair with Brody’s wife, and in the end he dies. In the book he’s in the shark cage and the shark smashes through it and eats him.

There was so much hype about this film when it came out. It was the summer of ’75 and we were down the shore in Wildwood. (Which is a resort/retirement community somewhat like Amity in Jaws) There were five movie theaters around the island and they all had the posters for the movie up. But another brilliant piece of marketing they had going were these other posters called “Shark Facts.” They had the Jaws logo at the bottom, and then a list of facts about sharks. My favorite one was “Most shark attacks occur in 3 feet of water.” I knew this scared the hell out of everyone.

After seeing Jaws you really never saw people just running down to the ocean and jumping in. It was more like, walk to the water’s edge, stop, peer out into the ocean and then step into the water.

One of our neighbors took his daughter Stacy to see it. (Which I thought was inappropriate, because she was too young to see a film that violent and gory. But that was just my opinion) Of course her dad Steve always did stupid stuff. The scene at night when they’re underwater investigating the wreck of a boat. Hooper sees a hole in the hull and pulls out what appears to be a Dorito chip sized shark tooth from the wood. As he does this a dead person’s head pops out. It is one of the most startling moments in the entire film. Well, Stacy jumped, the popcorn went flying and was stuck in her hair as well as her father’s hair! (They both had dark curly hair)

I remember a group of us went to see it. I’m pretty sure my sister Janice was in that group. I remember during the opening credits, which is a camera cruising underwater through the seaweed, I started having anxiety. I knew we were in for some real thrills and chills. The film is so well done. Even though the shark by today’s special effects standards looks so fake, it’s still hold up as a great movie.

While filming Jaws they had so many problems with “Bruce” the mechanical shark, that they couldn’t show him as much as they wanted to. But this worked out really well. You’re always more afraid of what you can’t see than what you can see. And that music! Brilliant score by John Williams. Probably the most iconic two notes in history.

It’s just a great story about three very different men, thrown together in a small space in a very dangerous place, up against a massive marine predator.

I’ve watched the film again recently. I watch it every summer. Last year it came on TV at my favorite bar, Square 1682, and the bartender passed out bowls of their delicious and savory truffle popcorn. It really made the moment and brought everyone together at the bar as we watched this landmark classic film.

Jaws invented the Summer Blockbuster!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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