Dating and Relationship Advice – Should I Buy A Girl A Drink?

Question: Hey, love phicklephilly and what you do, but I’ve always wondered why all the PUA community always says you should never buy a girl a drink.  I’ve always considered it a classy act and it shows her that I’m interested. What’s the big deal with spending a little money on her?

Answer: While there really isn’t anything wrong with buying a girl you just met a drink, it really has no effect whether she likes you or not. About the only thing it’s good for is emptying out your bank account quickly, leaving you having to head back to the ATM early and often. Most often a girl will turn down the offer because then she would feel “obligated” to talk to you. Once she’s done with her drink, her obligation is over and she is gone and you are left alone and $12 shorter than when you started.  The biggest reason you hear not to buy a girl a drink is because it makes you just like every other guy, and I constantly tell you that in order to attract women, you need to stand out and be different than everyone else.  Every guy uses the, “Can I buy you a drink” pick up line.  Women are instantly programmed to respond negatively to it, even if she finds you attractive.  Why? Because she’ll hear that line at least 10 times that night and you’re number 11 to ask her that question, so she’ll shoot you down before you can get another word in.  What made you stand out from the other 10 guys?  Nothing!

A few weeks ago my friend Robert and I were out.  We were just getting the night started and took a seat at the bar. There were two really cute girls, a blonde and a brunette, seated to our right.  Normally we would have been quick to act on that opportunity but we hadn’t gotten our drinks yet so we weren’t really in a hurry and just scoping everything out.  A few minutes later this guy walks up, I’ll call him Mr. High Roller. He walks up to the girls, pulls out a thick roll of bills, throws a couple of $20s on the bar and tells the girls, “This drinks on me.”  Robert, thinking quickly, taps the brunette and says, “Hey if that guys buying drinks, we’ll take two Rum and Cokes.”  The brunette laughs and says, “I’ll see what I can do.”  She turns around and says something to the guy, which I could tell by High Roller’s face he did not want to hear, and he pulls out another $20.  The brunette turns back around and tells us, “It’s all taken care of,”  and Rob and the brunette start talking. Mr. High Roller continues talking to the blonde, which I could tell by her body language she was not interested in him at all, she just felt obliged to talk to him because he just dropped $30 for drinks for all of us.  After the drinks came and went, the blonde thanked Mr. High Roller, and then she joined our group.  Besides from getting free drinks from this chump, we had something to banter the girls about all night long, like how they were our new drinking buddies and we would be using them for free drinks at every bar, or that I’d like to find Mr. High Roller and thank him for introducing me to my new girlfriend, maybe he would like to pay for our first date.  They were eating it up

I don’t buy girls drinks, because I’m at the point where I know I can get a girl to buy a drink for me. It’s more of a game then anything.  I like to see how many I can get, but this doesn’t mean I never buy drinks for a girl as a rule. After talking with a girl I just met for a while and knowing that we have built a connection and have a future date setup (meaning I already have her phone number), then I may spring for a drink or two.  By this time it’s a sure bet.  I know that she won’t be running off after she finishes her drink and it’s money well spent.  Money spent on getting her to relax, open, up and have a fun time with me that I use to build sexual chemistry.  So use your own judgement about whether you should buy drinks or not, just don’t make it your opening line.

 

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Cherie – Chapter 13 – Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

It’s been two weeks since I saw Cherie because she had to work multiple shifts at the hospital last weekend. It had also been three weeks since our intimate marathon at the Club Quarters. (See: Cherie – Hammer into Anvil)

We were both really feeling the strain of being apart. She was over her cold, but now her son was sick. Work and school were stressing her out, and Thanksgiving was also in the mix. I was having my usual challenges with everything I’m currently working on and finally over my cold after nearly a month of a nagging cough. She told me she did enjoy seeing her grandmother who is in her eighties and still kicking ass. She still has a job! Cheri’s mother was showing her the finer points of cooking a turkey. So at least that took the edge off her stressful life.

I have been doing a lot of cleaning around the bat cave lately. I think when your home space is clean and tidy it just makes you feel better. Two weeks ago I cleaned the bathroom with a vengeance. Every tile. Every crack and crevice, with every cleaning agent at my disposal. When I was finished the place crackled with light. When my daughter Lorelei saw it she was so happy. My only response to her glee was: “Let’s keep it this way.”

I have like five things in the bathroom I use. Lorelei is a twenty year old girl. She has over fifty different items in there. It’s incredible what a young woman needs to be beautiful. She owns that room, so she’d better be mindful of its cleanliness.

I even went out and got new rugs, new toilet seat, new towels, soap, shampoo rack, and a shower curtain. I went to this store that literally carries everything in the world. It’s at 13th and Chestnut. I love this store. Everything is reasonably priced and like I said…they carry everything! So my bathroom was looking great and color coordinated in white and lavender. The First Lady herself would be happy to go in there to powder her nose.

I could tell myself that I was trying to make the house better and our living space cleaner, but I knew what was happening. And I knew I was going to do more. So much more.

The next Saturday was the first Saturday Cherie and I hadn’t spent time together. I got up and went to Rachael’s for breakfast and had my usual awesome $8 breakfast. I then cleaned my room like I’d cleaned the bathroom. Threw out bags of trash, organized and cleaned every inch of the space. I scrubbed the hardwood floors and polished them. The place was looking so much better. Even threw out an old 19″ TV that belonged to Michelle that I never watched anymore. The busted VHS player below it went bye-bye as well. I then headed back to my favorite store in the world.

I bought these beautiful sheer blue curtains for the two big windows in my bedroom. I’ve never had curtains in there. Just the venetian blinds that came with the apartment. I picked up a navy blue sheet set for the bed, and a comforter. I couldn’t find a matching bed skirt so I ordered one on Amazon for $10.

I lugged all of the bags home and put it in the corner of my bedroom. I’d wait until Saturday to set it all up.  I could sleep on the old sheets for another week. I also went to the dollar store in Suburban Station and picked up 10 little candles for the house. I gave 5 to Lorelei because she likes to burn incense and candles in the livingroom. I picked some nice warm Christmas scents. I also picked up some candy. Cherie likes milk chocolate, so I grabbed a bag of Lindt’s truffles and a bag of Ghirardelli caramel filled milk chocolate squares. They are so delicious and remind me of her.

 

Saturday arrives and I get showered and go to Manhattan Bagel in Rittenhouse  for breakfast. I realized when I stripped the bed that morning my mattress liner had not been changed for a long time. It was time for a new one. Also my pillows looked like they had come from some fleabag motel on the side of a highway, so back to the Everything Store!

Picked up what  I needed and chatted up the girl at the counter. I was telling her how I’d been to this store several times in the last two weeks to get things for my house. She’s being cordial but doesn’t really give a shit. She’s attractive and exotic and probably gets hit on by every swinging dick that comes through the door. As I was walking out the door, I noticed on a side window they have a wall of shame. I figured pictures of bounced checks, but it was photos of actual shoplifters holding the stuff they were trying to steal. It was funny and hardcore in the same moment. I especially liked the grizzled old guy with the little jar of Vaseline. I don’t even want to know.

I get back to the house and unwrap everything. I’m breaking a sweat wrestling my mattress to not only get the bed skirt on but get the mattress liner on it. It’s the kind you have to slide over the matress and then zip it shut at the top. I was wrestling with it and the matress. It was like trying to get a condom on a drunk bull elephant.

I finally got it on and put the rest of the sheets together on the bed. Once I had it all on and the bed was made, it all looked terrific. I put the candies in a little dish of what would be her side of the bed. The candles in spots around the room to create the mood. I set my Pandora account to an elegant light music station.

You can see what’s happening. I’ve been cleaning up my house and making it beautiful for the first visit of Cherie. The house looks great and I want to keep it this way. I’m not having the initial crazy, manic euphoria with Cherie, like I did with Michelle and Annabelle. (See: Michelle – A Brand New Day & See: Annabelle – Nice to Meet You) This feels like a slow rise of solid energy. I’m not doing crazy things like I did with Michelle. I’m not having the agonizing frustration like I did with the confused and immature Annabelle. This feels like something else. I’m really looking forward to Cherie coming to see me here tonight.

I’m also keeping this off social media. Lorelei doesn’t even know about her. For now, this is my secret. This is my sequel. But I would love to see the hilarity of the following scene play out:

Lorelei: “House looks great, Dad.”

Me: “Thanks! I’m really happy with it. (smiles) Let’s keep it that way…”

Lorelei: “Are you seeing somebody?”

Me: “What makes you say that?”

Lorelei: “I remember how good the house looked a few years ago when you started dating Annabelle.”

Me: “Did it? I don’t remember…”

Lorelei: “Yes you do. So basically the only time this house gets the full cleaning overhaul is when you get a new girlfriend.”

Me: “Do you like living here instead of with your mom, Lor?”

Lorelei: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you enjoy getting an allowance from me every week?”

Lorelei: (Laughing) “Alright, fine! I’m going to my boyfriend’s house for the weekend.”

(Lorelei exits out front door.)

Me: Love you!!!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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