Dating and Relationship Advice – Why Being Yourself Doesn’t Work

Question: You should be ashamed of yourself! What you stand for and your advice to, “get women into bed,” is inexcusable. You are the perfect example of everything that is wrong with our society today. You have no respect for women or the human body. Your actions speak loudly and show the world that you’re an ugly person inside. I will pray for you and the people you infect with you vile information, so that their soul may be saved. Repent your ways or be cast into hell! We are all God’s creatures, he has a plan for every one of us. Just be yourself, believe in the Lord, and when the time is right he will introduce you to your life partner. No gimmicks, no tricks.

Praying for you,

Linda Q.

Answer: Linda, those are some strong words, and while most hate mail I receive just makes me laugh, you actually brought up a valid point in your rant. “You should just be yourself and in time you will find your soul mate.”

What a crock of shit that statement is, yet this is probably the most common piece of advice you will ever hear from your friends and family about dating and finding the “one for you.” But why is this line repeated so often? It’s because it’s the same piece of advice that’s passed down from generation to generation about dating, “Oh things didn’t work out between the two of you because you weren’t meant to be.” How many times have you heard that before? We tell each other this crap so we can feel better about ourselves as to why things didn’t work out, but also because nobody knows any decent dating advice to give to you. Your friends that are married were lucky. The stars aligned in their favor and they were able to find the one for them, but you’re still alone, still looking, still waiting, and having to listen to everyone’s crap about how to get a date.

The average reader on this site is between 25 and 45, been on very few dates, average about one to three girlfriends in their life, and may or may not still be a virgin. (hard to believe, but it happens) They experience more success with women after one to two months of applying our methods, then they have their entire life. Why is that? Because they realized that by being themselves, they were failures with women, over and over again. They fail not because they’re bad guys, but because they don’t know how to display the qualities that women find attractive. No one ever sat them down and told them how to act around women. We’re all sent out in the world and get to find out for ourselves what women want.  Some get it right away, while others never will. They continue to struggle and never learn what works because after every failure they’re told, “Things just weren’t meant to be,” or “She wasn’t the one for you, be patient and you will find her.” But just how long are you willing to wait? Until your 40 or 50 years old? I don’t think so.

That’s why just being yourself doesn’t work. Being yourself hasn’t worked for you yet, and as long as you continue that path, it will never work. The only thing you can do is make a change in your life. What’s the worst that can happen? You can’t get any worse around women, so any advice at this point is better than, just be yourself.

Here at, Phicklephilly, we don’t want to change you into something you’re not. If your idea of a Friday night is getting together with a group of guys and playing D&D until 4 in the morning, by all means, enjoy yourself. But what these people are lacking is the skills and the confidence around women. They don’t know the hidden signals that women are giving off to them. They don’t know how to tell if that girl next to them is attracted to them or not. They don’t know when they should make a move, how to start a conversation, or go in for a kiss, or ask for her phone number because nobody ever told them how to do all that.

I teach our readers what to look out for, how to act, and how to incorporate this new confidence into their personality, because ultimately their personality is what the cute blonde will be attracted to. No tricks, no gimmicks, those are only used to start that initial conversation, so that we can show the girl our true selves and make a genuine connection. A connection that might eventually lead to a relationship. And wouldn’t you rather be the one in control, making those decisions about who you want to date, who to be with, rather than wait around and let her come to you. If that was how things worked, because you have no experience around women, you’ll blow it when you finally do meet the one.  But go ahead and wait. If you choose to wait, be prepared to do so for a long time, even in today’s world, the man is still expected to make that all important first move. If you don’t ever learn how to make that move, the “one” may just pass you by.


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9 thoughts on “Dating and Relationship Advice – Why Being Yourself Doesn’t Work”

  1. Nice response, Phicklephily. And Linda, I love it when a man does all the gentlemanly, respectful things to get me in bed. It makes the sex so much better, and I often find myself crying out, “Jesus, that’s amazing!”

  2. Really liked you post! I think you would really love the book “Why Men Don’t Get Enough Sex, And Women Don’t Get Enough Love”!! Another one that helped me was “The Psychology Of Romantic Love”!!

  3. Wow, you get hate mail. I’m soooo jealous. It’s typical that this hater uses religion. Religion is the root of all evil, it’s responsible for most conflicts and most intolerance and hypocrisy in the world. Can you tell I am a devout athiest? 😉

    All that aside, and because this is not a religion thread, f**k her. Keep doing what you’re doing and we’ll all keep singing halleluah from the roof tops.

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