Dating and Relationship Advice – First Date Conversations – The Top Tips For Great Conversations

First date conversations can be awkward and difficult to manage. In many cases, bad conversation will make for a long, painful date. You can avoid this though…

The way to avoid this is to ensure that you can engage the other person in gripping, meaningful conversations. In order to do that, you must have some conversation starters ready to use and you must be able to read the other person.

Part of demonstrating good dating etiquette is to know what and when to say it. There are great things that you can talk about on a date, and things that you should not talk about. The key is knowing the difference…

And that is where phicklephilly comes in to help you! I have assembled some great ideas, tips, things you should say, and things you shouldn’t say on a first date. In fact, many of these principles apply to any type of date, but the first one is the most critical.

First Date Conversations Tips

1. Place the focus where it should be – The focus should be on your date at all times. Most people have a tendency to talk about themselves. For most people, the most interesting person on the planet is…themselves! So, let’s use this to our advantage…

Ask questions that will allow the person to open up about themselves. Do not ask questions that they could answer with a yes/no answer. The point is that we want them to answer so that they open up.

2. Listen! This simple tip seems to elude most people when it comes to first date conversations. When you ask a question, you need to listen to what they say. There’s nothing worse than when someone is not paying attention to you or hearing what you say. In order for the conversation to go well, you must listen to their response and comment about it so that they know you were paying attention.

Usually, most people are not listening because they are busy trying to think of another question to ask. While they’re thinking about the next question, they miss what the other person said. To avoid this from happening, think about your questions beforehand. The preparation time will be well worth it.

3. Avoid difficult subjects – When it comes to a first date, there’s nothing that’ll kill the date faster than talking about religion, politics, or anything else that is controversial. These are topics that many people are passionate about and have strong opinions. If they have a different opinion than you and it turns into a debate, then you have failed and there will not be a second date.

Let’s face it…the first date is not the time to see what their position is on political parties, abortion, or anything of the like. Spend the time getting to know someone and trying to build a friendship. Anything that takes away from building a friendship is unimportant.

4. Build on common ground – The easiest way to maintain healthy first date conversations is to find something that the two of you have in common. The purpose of the first date is to build a relationship and see if you would like to continue the building process. If you are focusing on how they are different from you, you are missing the boat.

Ask about interests, hobbies, what they do in their spare time. Find something that the two of you are passionate about. This will add fuel to the conversation fire.

5. Relax – This is usually easier said than done. It has been my experience that the more stressed I get about conversation, the worse it ends up being. So, the easiest thing to do is to not worry too much about it.

I hope these first date conversations tips will help you on your next date.


Was this helpful? I’d love to hear yout feedback in regard to this subject.


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Diana – Overdrawn at the Blood Bank

I couldn’t get up and leave because I was hooked to an IV!

Happy Friday!

I’ve gotten to know a few of my followers. I love that we’ve created a nice little community of writers over the last year. We email back and forth and sometimes even text if both parties are comfortable with that. I was chatting with this one lady who writes her own blog about relationships. She shared an interesting dating story with me and it felt like something that could happen on phicklephilly.

I asked her if I could run it on my site and she agreed. She said it’s not the sort of thing she would write about on her site because unlike phicklephilly, it’s not a dating blog.

So here is the story as told to me by my author buddy, Diana.


On a first date when I was a freshman in college, I went on a date with a guy I met at a party. We were going to go to the reservoir for the afternoon on a beautiful Indian Summer day. First, we had to “get some cash.” He took me to a blood bank to donate plasma! We got extra cash since it was the first visit for both of us and while I was there, my bed “won” the drawing and I received an extra $10.

I was so shocked by all this, all I could do was sit frozen and hope it was a bad dream. I couldn’t get up and leave because I was hooked to an IV!

After the donation was over we went through a fast food drive-thru and got some sandwiches and then a case of beer. Once we got out in the sun at the reservoir, drank the beer, and ate the sandwich, I proceeded to feel sicker than I have ever felt before and threw up all over the beach. That was 17 years ago and I still can remember how sick I felt.

No cell phone back then, so I was stranded out at the reservoir with a loser who clearly had no respect for me. I felt beyond “used.” I had to give plasma so we could go on this crappy outing and then I got sick so he proceeded to drink all the beer! (Which I think was his goal from the beginning!) I was very naive and I felt so embarrassed for him, that he thought that this was even remotely close to acceptable human behavior, that I downplayed the whole event and tried to pretend it had never happened.

Now that I’m older, I realize the “scene” I should have made once we arrived at the blood bank and gotten out of the whole thing! It was too dangerous a situation. He was the man, he had the plan for the date and I just went for the ride. I never let that happen again. I ask for plans up front. Have an exit plan. And always make sure I voice my concerns.


Thank you Diane for your crazy dating story. Live and learn!


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am  & 12pm EST.

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