Dating and Relationship Advice – Dating Advice For Men: Who should pay on a date?

Long held beliefs about the etiquette of dating often mean that men and women think they should behave in certain ways on dates, especially in the initial stages of getting to know someone. Times are changing though, and if you’re bewildered by some of the more old-fashioned dilemmas such as who should pay on a date, read on for some useful dating advice.

Dating stage 1: First date advice

If you want to set the right tone you may want to begin by paying on the first date. This shows that you’re considerate and generous, and can help you make headway with those all important first impressions. Of course, it’s never compulsory to pay on the first date, but it might show that you’re prepared to make the effort with the person you’re dating. You may find that at the end of the evening when you’ve requested the bill, your date may offer to split things 50/50. But think carefully about whether she is simply making a nominal offer and is secretly impressed by your chivalry in picking up the tab.

Dating stage 2: Advice for the second, third and fourth dates

It’s not unusual for both parties to feel embarrassed about bringing up who pays at this early stage, so don’t feel taken aback if it hasn’t come up in conversation. If you’re still striving to impress, and you’re happy to pay on these dates then by all means do so. However, if you’re not comfortable with forking out, sensible dating advice would be to suggest that you pay half each once the first date is out-of-the-way. If things are going well and you are both enjoying each other’s company, you may even find that your date pays for some elements of the date (such as entry tickets to a show or exhibition) whilst you pay for the drinks or food.

Dating stage 3: Fifth dates and afterwards

After the fourth or fifth date, you should be comfortable enough to take it in turns to pay for each date. Don’t worry about being the first to bring it up; she will be flattered that you’re keen to plan for future dates with her. Setting the tone for a happy, well-balanced relationship early on is sound advice for successful dating.

Dating advice: some final words on money matters

Finally, if you’re still not sure about who should pay, here’s some final advice to prevent any potential dating faux-pas:

• In the initial stages of dating, try not to splash the cash too much as you’ll look too eager to impress and might give a false impression of your day-to-day lifestyle and what you can afford. Remember that charm and charisma go a long way and are far more important than the size of your bank balance.

• To avoid awkwardness, choose dates which don’t cost too much until you have an idea of each other’s financial limitations.

• Don’t talk too much about money in the initial dating stages. Our advice is to be subtle about this topic so you don’t come across as money obsessed!

• Remember that most women will be looking for a genuine connection rather than at how much you earn. If money becomes a genuine problem on a date you should think about moving on to greener dating pastures.

 

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Roman – 2013 to Present – Tell Me Your Best Tinder Date Horror Stories

Maybe this will make you feel less bad about your last awful date.

When meeting a Tinder date for the first time, where do you go? A bar across town where you’re less likely to run into people you know? Perhaps a romantic wine bar? Somewhere intimate that will impress your date, somewhere you can be alone?

Alone, of course, except for the one other person who’s along for the ride: your bartender. The modern bartender has a front-row seat to the world of online dating, and for every success story, they’ve seen a dozen awkward interactions (to put it mildly). Enduring and observing the Tinder date is now an established part of the job description for your local bartender—for better or worse. I spoke with my favorite bartender in the city, Roman from Square 1682. (See: Roman – Rock n’ Roll Bartender) Here are some tales from the front lines of internet dating from a bartender’s point of view.

Three’s a Charm
I was witness to a particularly crowded first date. “Once I saw a guy show up to a date with another woman,” he says. “Unsurprisingly, it didn’t go as planned.”

If It Ain’t Broke
Some guys have the Tinder date down to a science. “Tinder Tuesday” was the nickname for a customer at a former workplace. “He came in every Tuesday with a different girl, ordered the same thing, used the same lines, offered to split the same dessert, and asked the girl back to his place at the same time.” Hey, if it works…? “He either had great game, or he was a serial killer.”

Politics and Doggy Bags
“Bless these poor Tinder souls, It can’t be easy!” He tells the story of a recent date that “completely derailed” after politics became part of the conversation. (“Never a good first-date tactic,” he notes.) “The guy paid out their check before they even got their appetizers. They both stormed out, but then a few minutes later, the girl came back and asked for the remaining courses to be packaged up to take home with her.” Gotta admire that, though: Roman calls the move “ballsy, tacky, and kind of amazing all at once.”

One for the Road
I once witnessed a real winner at a former workplace. The guy had two topics of conversation: “He talked about his ex constantly, and about how when he was in college the CIA—which he obnoxiously referred to as ‘the Company’—tried to recruit them.” The woman silently stirred her drink until the ice melted, at which point the man went to the bathroom. Immediately, “she asked me for a shot and signaled her intent to leave him with the bill.” Down the hatch and out the door.

Listen, Buddy
Listening skills are often the last straw for people. “I watched a man totally blow it by being a horrible listener and talking over his date,” he says. “She told him that she was a psychologist, and then one minute later, he asked her what she studied.”

Zero to 60
Of course, not all Internet dates end badly. In fact, Roman says he once saw a date that went remarkably well…remarkably quickly. “I saw two people go from meeting and shaking hands to making out and leaving together within 15 minutes.” Congratulations to the happy couple!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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