Roman – 2013 to Present – Tell Me Your Best Tinder Date Horror Stories

Maybe this will make you feel less bad about your last awful date.

When meeting a Tinder date for the first time, where do you go? A bar across town where you’re less likely to run into people you know? Perhaps a romantic wine bar? Somewhere intimate that will impress your date, somewhere you can be alone?

Alone, of course, except for the one other person who’s along for the ride: your bartender. The modern bartender has a front-row seat to the world of online dating, and for every success story, they’ve seen a dozen awkward interactions (to put it mildly). Enduring and observing the Tinder date is now an established part of the job description for your local bartender—for better or worse. I spoke with my favorite bartender in the city, Roman from Square 1682. (See: Roman – Rock n’ Roll Bartender) Here are some tales from the front lines of internet dating from a bartender’s point of view.

Three’s a Charm
I was witness to a particularly crowded first date. “Once I saw a guy show up to a date with another woman,” he says. “Unsurprisingly, it didn’t go as planned.”

If It Ain’t Broke
Some guys have the Tinder date down to a science. “Tinder Tuesday” was the nickname for a customer at a former workplace. “He came in every Tuesday with a different girl, ordered the same thing, used the same lines, offered to split the same dessert, and asked the girl back to his place at the same time.” Hey, if it works…? “He either had great game, or he was a serial killer.”

Politics and Doggy Bags
“Bless these poor Tinder souls, It can’t be easy!” He tells the story of a recent date that “completely derailed” after politics became part of the conversation. (“Never a good first-date tactic,” he notes.) “The guy paid out their check before they even got their appetizers. They both stormed out, but then a few minutes later, the girl came back and asked for the remaining courses to be packaged up to take home with her.” Gotta admire that, though: Roman calls the move “ballsy, tacky, and kind of amazing all at once.”

One for the Road
I once witnessed a real winner at a former workplace. The guy had two topics of conversation: “He talked about his ex constantly, and about how when he was in college the CIA—which he obnoxiously referred to as ‘the Company’—tried to recruit them.” The woman silently stirred her drink until the ice melted, at which point the man went to the bathroom. Immediately, “she asked me for a shot and signaled her intent to leave him with the bill.” Down the hatch and out the door.

Listen, Buddy
Listening skills are often the last straw for people. “I watched a man totally blow it by being a horrible listener and talking over his date,” he says. “She told him that she was a psychologist, and then one minute later, he asked her what she studied.”

Zero to 60
Of course, not all Internet dates end badly. In fact, Roman says he once saw a date that went remarkably well…remarkably quickly. “I saw two people go from meeting and shaking hands to making out and leaving together within 15 minutes.” Congratulations to the happy couple!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly Facebook: phicklephilly

Author: phicklephilly

Copyright © 2016 by Phicklephilly All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All stories and characters are based on real people and events. The names and images have been changed to protect their privacy. Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!”

Leave a Reply