Dating and Relationship Advice – 3 Ways Your Relationship Changes After Your First Fight

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At the beginning of a relationship, everything is a rose garden. Your partner is perfect in your eyes, and you are perfect in theirs. When you have your first fight in a relationship, that glossy image that you have constructed falls and shatters. In its place, you see the person whom you are actually dating. In the shock of this reality, they might not even seem that appealing anymore. You might feel the urge to gain space from the relationship, or they might be the one to ask for distance. But eventually, no matter how much space you try to place between yourself and the other, eventually, you’re going to have to face facts: The person you are dating is a flawed human. Are you going to stick around?

It’s actually this first fight that will make or break the relationship, as the two of you will learn whether or not you actually want to be together. Once the dust settles, and healing words have been exchanged, you are faced with a choice: Are you in or are you out? Whatever you decide is best for you will be the right option. Some relationships simply weren’t supposed to last.

If you’re in, you’ll find that’s when things really start to get interesting. After your first fight in a relationship, here’s what changes:

1. You Lose All Sense Of Fear

I don’t know about you, but the beginning of a new relationship is always super fraught with anxiety for me. Abandonment issues crop up. I’m worried that anything I do that is unattractive will be a deal breaker for the relationship. I stress about the future and obsess over what is or isn’t happening in the present.

And then, after a rupture inevitably happens, there’s a sense of relief. This relief exists whether or not the relationship actually withstands the first fight or not. It’s the sense of being seen clearly, flaws and all. It’s the sense of not having an option to pretend anymore.

The first fight in a relationship is humbling, because you are finally able to see who each of you is when you have nothing left to lose anymore. It’s as terrifying as it is beautiful, and as long as your relationship can withstand the conflict, then you’re in a better place than where you started, as far as I’m concerned.

2. You Learn Important Boundaries

At the beginning of a relationship, pretty much anything goes. The two of you are figuring out how you work together, which means that sometimes boundaries you didn’t even know existed get crossed. This crossing is usually what results in a fight in the first place; somebody gets hurt or offended, and suddenly, the differences between you seem vast.

When you choose to cross that distance, it’s because you recognize the other person’s limitations and can respect their boundaries. You understand that these boundaries are what they need to feel happy, healthy, and safe in a relationship. You have a greater understanding of the person who you are planning on journeying through life with, and can develop greater trust in yourself to do right by them. In that way, after experiencing the first fight, you can almost have a confidence boost.

3. You Begin To Grow Together

A rupture happens when you experience the first fight in a relationship. The neat little structure that you built to keep your affection safe opens up, and suddenly your relationship feels more vulnerable and exposed. Believe it or not, this is a good thing. The change that happens after your initial conflict gives you potential for growth.

The truth of the matter is that life is hard, and things can’t stay nice and pleasant all of the time. It’s no good to avoid difficult conversations just to keep the party going. At some point in every relationship, you and your partner are going to be tested. And it’s more than likely that you will be tested more than once.

There’s really no way to pass or fail this test. There aren’t any wrong answers, and there isn’t any reward except for love. And this love will keep coming back to you, whether in this relationship or any other. After your first fight, it makes it that much easier to see the truth of your feelings for one another. And that can never be a bad thing.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – 7 Interracial Dating Tips for Black Women Looking for White Men

 

There are many ordinary people, celebrities and other famous people who are getting into interracial dating. In today’s world, one may think that interracial relationships won’t work well which is untrue simply because there are many black and white singles looking for partners out there. You will find even black women looking for white men in the interracial dating sites. One denying the fact that there is no problem with these kinds of relationships will not help if some interracial dating tips are not known. It is quite often that most people are unable to relate due to racial differences that exist among them. Below are some interracial dating tips for black women looking for white men which can make a last long relationship:

1. Do a research

In some cases, simply opening your heart and mind to love is not enough. Black women looking for white men should think much about the cultural differences such as communicating and flirting. This is because there are cultures that may be aggressive than others and thus the need to go deeper into the background of the partner becomes a necessity especially if you need a long-term relationship. It is also a good idea to avoid getting information during a date. Take your time and research to know exactly about this white man.

2. Focus on similarities

It is a fact that racism still exists among people and especially between the black people and the white people because of the cultural diversities. As a black woman, you need to understand the differences and majorly focus on the similarities. This is majorly what will make your relationship alive for a long period of time. In the process, if you truly love each other, chances are that you will be able to find ways of adapting each other’s culture.

3. Ask questions

If you need to know something, simply ask a question. You should not be afraid of asking any question, and even you should not keep it to yourself. Just ask don’t assume. This is because it is very important when it comes to interracial dating just because it prevents misunderstanding as well as miscommunications.

4. Respect the culture and ethnicity of your partner

During the early stages of interracial dating, one may start understanding some differences. Having respect is one great way to help you understand the behavior of your partner on various aspects. It can be challenging to understand this at first, but if you respect and learn slowly by slowly, then you will end up having a good relationship that will last longer.

5. Understand your ultimate desire

Do you think about your ultimate desire as a black woman? What special aspect do you need from this romantic relationship with a partner from a totally different race? These are some questions that one may ask and will help in making realistic decisions. One of the major reasons why most interracial relationships fail is simply the difference in goals in life. One needs to share her thoughts with her partner. For those black women who are looking for white men just because of sexual fantasies, chances are that their relationship won’t prosper.

6. Assess yourself properly

All black women looking for white men should first of all assess themselves before they think of having interracial relationships. As a woman, are you courageous, strong and also patient to deal with issues that arise from interracial relationships? Also, are you willing and able to change in various ways for the love of your partner who has a different racial background? Self-assessment is very important when it comes to interracial dating.

7. Only do what pleases your partner

Clearly understanding the vast difference of your ethnicity, religion, food preferences and also culture has no sense if you don’t find ways of embracing it. For those black women who are looking for white men for long lasting interracial relationships should make sure that they do what their partners term good.

In conclusion, race, customs, traditions, and culture do play a significant role in interracial relationships. Before one gets someone who belongs to a different race, she should consider the pros as well as the cons of interracial dating. Also, make sure that you understand his culture and be prepared to overcome either emotional or mental challenge that may arise.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pmEST.

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