Although there are more and more emotionally literate young people who find that love and love for their psychological mechanisms are two completely different feelings, the partner still chooses the heart, that is, how much a person has fallen in love.
Despite a series of evidence that love is not the first phase of love, but a minor or greater disappointment, love is celebrated planetary through Valentine’s Day. Failures arising from heart-shaping are justified by “having not yet come true”.
Dilemma: Choosing heart or reason is a dilemma between two bad variants. To make a good choice, one must connect the heart and the brain. However, this is not so easy. People will understand that there is an irrational and rational fear, but it is unacceptable that there is rational love.
What would be good criteria for choosing a partner for a serious relationship?
It is very important to assess whether a person can function well with a given partner. If a person chooses a partner for a love affair, it is not enough that someone likes or falls in love, but needs to know what kind of relationship she wants, as well as to find out what kind of relationship a partner wants.
People are attracted sometimes on the basis of diversity, and sometimes on the basis of similarity, but today we know that stable and lasting emotional connection can be achieved by those who have enough similar values and views of life.
In order to evaluate a partner well, one has to know what its highest values are and what the partners are.
When selecting it, it is important to evaluate how much the partner takes care of himself, and how much about the other partner. It is best when both partners have the ability to take care of themselves and their loved one. Sacrifice for the egoistic partner is not good in the long run.
Conflicts, that is, when one partner wants one, and the other does not want or wants something else, they are an indispensable part of a common life. It is therefore important that a partner responds to conflicts: when someone criticizes him when someone refuses his or her desire when someone asks for or asks for something he does not want. Successful couples are those who do not take mutual conflicts as evidence that love has ceased.
It is good when partners can express love to one another in the “language of love” that the partner understands: the language of contact, the beautiful words, the gifts, the service of the service or the language of devoting time.
Is it possible to establish an “optimum distance” so that both partners feel close, but also have enough personal space in connection?
One should not ignore the partner’s attachment to parents because, in case of excess, parents will be mixed up in a relationship or marriage.
All of this should be spoken to children and young people, and not let them hypnosis of the media and say that they will feel themselves when the right person appears.
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