Dating and Relationship Advice – If Your Partner Is Super Messy, Try These 5 Ways To Deal With It

Look, I think many of us can agree that cleaning and organizing can be a total drag — hence, why so many of us will go as long as we can without doing either. But of course, many people aren’t about that life, and that’s definitely something that deserves some consideration. But knowing the best ways to deal with a messy partner can definitely be a bit tricky. After all, relationships involve give-and-take in pretty much every other area, and living conditions are no different.

Now I know all of the peeps out there with borderline compulsive cleaning habits think that we less organized folks are simply being lazy AF, but I promise you this isn’t always the case.

Truth be told, I think the main difference between those who fall into either the “clean” or “messy” category is the ability to manage your time. Sometimes cleaning up a mess right after it’s made just doesn’t jive with the fact that I have an appointment in 30 minutes and it’s going to take me 35 minutes to get there. The result? That pasta sauce that splattered everywhere and the sink full of dishes is just going to have to stay put until I get home… at midnight…at which point I’m way too tired, so hopefully they’ll get done in the morning… after the gym… maybe? See how that happens? But take it from me, the secret to living in peace with someone who’s not on the same page when it comes to cleanliness is totally do-able, but will certainly involve some compromise.


1. Choose Your Battles Wisely

First off, it’s important to remember that getting upset with your partner for not having the same habits as you can be v problematic, because at the end of the day you didn’t have the same upbringing and don’t have the same needs. When talking about your desire to keep things clean, be careful not to harp too much on the small stuff, but rather, focus your complaints on the bigger issues that have a larger impact on both of you. This way, your partner won’t get burned out and start feeling like you’re always being nit-picky .

2. Accept That Habits Don’t Change Overnight

Habits take a while to change, especially if you are hoping a particularly “bad” habit will be unlearned and replaced with a “good” one. So try to be as patient as you can when asking your partner to make adjustments to their usual mode of operation. And understand the fact that you’re probably going to have to bring your grievances to their attention a bunch of times before you notice an improvement.


3. Make A Chore Chart

While there is certainly a distinction to be made between “messy” and “dirty,” both issues can be addressed by setting aside a designated time to clean as a couple. My partner and I like to do it when we first get up — 20 minutes of straightening-up a few times a week can make a huge difference. If staying on top of their designated chores is the issue, then having a cleaning chart with glittery stickers á la pre-school should be enough to entice/shame them into staying on top of things.

4. Keep Your Expectations In Check

Everyone’s breaking point is vastly different when it comes to how messy is too messy. And it’s very unlikely that a super messy person is capable of becoming a militantly clean person. So it’s important to keep your expectations in the realm of possibility. If you are expecting them to up their cleaning game but you aren’t willing to loosen up a bit too, then the chance of things escalating into fights is much higher.


5. Don’t Forget About Positive Reinforcement

Some people just don’t do well with being criticized about something after the fact. Instead of complaining that the sink is full of their dishes once it’s piled high, try gently reminding them to put their dishes in the dishwasher after they’re done eating. Once they’ve started following through, don’t forget to thank them and let them know that you appreciate their efforts.

At the end of the day, living with a bae that is way messier than you can definitely feel overwhelming at times. The truth is that you may end up doing more than your fair share of domestic work to keep things in check for the time being. But at the very least, your SO should be putting in some effort — and if they continually disregard your requests, then a more formal conversation might be the next step.


Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this post!


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Celebrity Sightings: Sara Martins – I Fell In Love With This Actress

“I would watch anything this lovely woman would star in.”

This series is so popular! Please tell me why you love it so much. I can’t believe the traffic i get for Sara. Granted, I love her too but I am blown away about how much you all love her. tell me what other actors I should write about to get this kind of response!

Tell me who else i should write about!!!

I love British television shows. I started watching Death in Paradise on Netflix. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with this lovely actress. So I thought I’d showcase her here today.

Sara Martins (born 19 August 1977) is a Portuguese actress of Cape-Verdean descent.[1] She is known in France for her roles on television and in film and theatre.[2] She appeared as Detective Sergeant Camille Bordey in the joint British-French crime comedy-drama Death in Paradise, filmed in Guadeloupe, a French overseas department. She left the show halfway through series 4 (January 2015).

Martins was born in Faro, Portugal, and is of Cape Verdean descent.[3] She moved to France at the age of three.[4] She studied ballet in her youth and was the first person of African descent to join the Lyon Opera. She learned that she would be unable to advance to the Paris Opera, where the corps was expected to look alike and there were no other black dancers. Instead, she received her Baccalauréat with a theater option.[4] After receiving a DEUG in law,[4] at age 20 she studied at Ecole de théâtre Les Enfants Terribles in Paris.[5] Then, she completed an acting degree at the extremely selective French National Academy of Dramatic Arts.[1][4] She is fluent in Portuguese, French, and English.[6]

Early work

Shortly after graduating from high school, Martins was hired by Roger Planchon for a local production of Le Radeau de la Méduse at the Théâtre National Populaire in Villeurbanne.[4] She appeared in a play at the Young Vic in London called Le Costume (The Suit) and in a French-language production of David Mamet’s Race.[6]

Martins’ television debut was in 2001, in the French police series Police District.[1] She appeared in the series Pigalle, la nuit as Fleur. While filming Death in Paradise, Martins worked on the French TV crime series Détectives as Nora Abadie. [6]

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Death in Paradise

In April 2011, BBC One announced that Martins would star in the crime comedy-drama Death in Paradise, co-produced with France Télévisions.[7] The series was Martins’ debut in both comedy and on British television.[8] Martins did have experience playing a cop.[9] Death in Paradise premiered on 25 October 2011. Martins played Camille Bordey, a detective sergeant on the fictional Caribbean island of Saint-Marie. Camille and other local officers help British Detective Inspector Richard Poole (played by Ben Miller in seasons 1 and 2) solve murders. During a stunt for a first-season episode, Martins tore her achilles tendon.[8] She has said that during the production of Death in Paradise she discovered that some of her mannerisms are distinctly French.[10]

Season 3 killed off Inspector Poole in the first episode and he was replaced by another British Detective Inspector, Humphrey Goodman (played by Kris Marshall). The fourth episode of season 4, “Until Death Do You Part“, was Martins’ last; her character was written out as moving to Paris. Of her departure from the show, she is quoted as saying: “I’ve loved everything about the show. But the only way to grow in life is to take risks, even if it means losing something you love, or leaving a place that’s comfortable”.[11]

Selected filmography

Year Title Role Notes
2002 Les Amateurs (Amateurs) Maya Feature Film
Merguez, panini, kebab, jambon-beurre Short Film
2004 ne quittez pas! (Local Call) Feature Film
Dans tes rêves Feature Film
2006 Tell No One L’amie de Bruno Feature Film
Beyond the Ocean Olga
Paris, je t’aime Sara Feature Film
Girlfriends Shaheen Feature Film
J’invente rien Feature Film
Fragile(s) (By the Way) Sara Feature Film
2007 Rumeurs, commérages, on dit que Short Film
La Solution Short Film
2008 l”Heure d’été (Summer Hours) Press agent Feature Film
Après l’océan Olga Feature Film
Orpailleur (Garimpeiro, The Gold Forest) Yann Feature Film
2009 Mensch Helena Feature Film
2010 Les Petits Mouchoirs (Little White Lies) Marie’s girlfriend Feature Film
Last Blood Short Film
Non Compliant Profile Short Film
The Marquis Feature Film
2013 Une Ideé en l’air (Just an Idea) Short Film

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Year Title Role Notes
2001 & 2003 Police district Julie season 1 and 3
2001 Maigret Jojo season 10: episode 2
2003 Par amour Maria TV movie
2005 Disparition Karine TV movie
Le Proc Virginie Desplat season 2: episode 3
2006 Les Tricheurs Sophie season 1: episode 1; season 2: episode 1, season 3: episode 1
Les bleus: premiers pas dans la police Mathilde Forestier season 1: episode 1
Les Secrets du volcan Jasmine Mahé season 1: 4 episodes
2006–07 P.J. (C.I.D.) Estelle seasons 10–12: 9 episodes
2007 Merci, les enfants vont bien! Jeanne season 4: episodes 1, 2, 3, 4
2008 La Veuve tatouée Sylvie TV movie
Les tricheurs Sophie Devailly season 1: episode 1, season 2: episode 1, season 3: episode 1
2009 Pigalle, la nuit Fleur season 1: 8 episodes (as regular)
2011 Caïn Barbara Simon season 1: episode 2
Signature Hélène season 1: episodes 1, 3, 4, 5, 6
Insoupçonnable Julie TV movie
2013–14 Détectives Nora Abadie seasons 1–2: 16 episodes (as regular)
2011–15 Death in Paradise Camille Bordey seasons 1–4: 28 episodes (as regular)
2015 American Odyssey Serena season 1: episodes 5, 6, 11
The law of Alexandre Sonia Dubois season 2: episode 1
2017 Capitaine Marleau Irène Ruff season 2: episodes 3
2018 Father Brown Lisandra Flambeau Episode 6.10 “The Two Deaths of Hercule Flambeau”

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