So I was with this girl for 2 years and obviously I learned a lot, but what has me lost is what I thought relationships were supposed to be? I think I might have been too controlling, and I was wondering if it was wrong of me to basically treat it like we were married when we weren’t?
I always thought when you found someone special, even though there are loads of others in the world, you’d work at the relationship and commit to each other.
If I came across another person that made me feel something for them, out of respect and love for my partner I’d step away and keep distance with the person and go back to my partner. I’d consider my partner in my future decisions like career goals and if I moved, not expecting them to come with me or change their life around, but holding out the option.
I guess I’m just confused here as to what’s the point of being with people anymore? I guess it’s not to have a partner in crime, as opposed to just experiences of pain and holding back feelings and honesty and emotions. It’s fickle and fragile and even if they say they love you, they won’t sacrifice a damn thing for you.
But I shouldn’t expect them to right? So what shall I do? Should I not date anymore? Am I wrong now? I feel so silly for thinking and believing this way. Love is not a special emotion and an act of devotion and commitment? It’s not kindness and sacrifice and compromise?? It’s not honesty?? It’s an experience?
How do I prepare myself for a world of dating?? I hated my past relationships so much because I had to hold back every part of myself with them. I couldn’t trust them or love them. So what do I do now?
What are relationships supposed to be like? Is love more of an experience and not commitment? If you just date someone for the fun they bring you, and then toss them aside when it’s too hard and another opportunity arises, how do I prepare myself for a life like that?
Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject!
Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am and 12pm EST.
Instagram: @phicklephilly Facebook: phicklephilly