Dating and Relationship Advice – 4 Signs You’re Dating Someone Who’s Not Motivated

OK, I’ll admit it: I’m a secret slacker. Sure, it looks like I’m motivated. I work hard, and I have ambitions. But when it comes to getting out of bed in the morning? Snooze button. This outfit? Yeah, I’m a freelancer, which translates to a stained t-shirt and cargo pants. As for whether or not I brushed my teeth today — who are you, my mom? Maybe these aren’t signs you’re dating someone who’s not motivated, but signs that you care too much about your physical appearance. What do you think of that?

But in all seriousness — and without getting too defensive — motivation is a matter of perspective. Someone can be so caught up in their career that they let the other aspects of their life fall by the wayside. If you’re looking for confirmation that somebody isn’t as motivated as you, then you are going to find motivation evident in certain areas of their life. Life is hard, and it’s difficult to juggle everything all of the time. Is your partner unmotivated because they are having trouble keeping all of their balls in the air? Or is there an underlying issue that is going to threaten the happiness of your relationship long-term? That is something only you can decide, if you recognize these signs from relationship expert April Masini, of Relationship Advice Forum.


1. Your Date Lives With Their Parents

According to Masini, there are a few situations where it’s normal for an adult to live with their parents — but only a few.

“More likely, your partner who’s still living at home, in their childhood bedroom, but as an adult, is not a motivated person,” Masini tells Elite Daily. “People who are motivated want to get up and out and move on with their lives after a certain age — usually 18 or 21.”

But don’t judge too fast. This summer, I lived at home for three months in my childhood bedroom. I’m 28-years-old and I’m sure that I looked like a complete slacker. But the truth is that I was helping take care of a terminally ill parent — a detail so sensitive, I never revealed it on a first date. There might be way more to somebody’s story than you realize. Life is hard, so exercise some compassion before you judge.


2. Their Car Is Never Clean

According to Masini, a filthy car shows that someone’s not really thinking of their future.

“Whether it’s a date, a business meeting or even family members, when your car is prepped, it means you’re thinking about using it to your advantage for some future event,” says Masini.

Cleanliness can also be a sign that they are motivated to prepare the car for your ride. On the other hand — just to play devil’s advocate — a super clean car might be an indication that you’re on a date with a serial killer who needs to cover up the traces of their crime. But that’s coming from the person with a car full of old coffee cups.


3. Grooming Is A Hobby, Not A Regular Maintenance Item

According to Masini, motivated people are ready for anything, which means they don’t leave the house without brushing their teeth. Or hair. Or showering.

“Hair, nails, and skin are all ways you can tell that someone is motivated because they’re well cared for — or not,” says Masini.

Personally, while I might not be particularly motivated to shower, I make up for it in my motivation to care for the planet. Because showering is a waste of water and I like the way body odor smells sometimes and I don’t care if that makes me a true freak.


4. Your Date Constantly Shows Up Late

Lateness is an indicator of rudeness, says Masini, and a surefire sign that the person you’re dating is not motivated.

“People who are on time are thinking about the meeting or the date they’re showing up for,” says Masini. “And they’re wanting to get off to a good start and succeed, so they show that to you by showing up on time.”

A motivated person will schedule and prepare for their commitments. She says that people who are always tardy just don’t care that much.

“They’re not that interested in success, or not enough to prep and arrive on time,” says Masini.

And what about those of us who are chronically late? Well, I guess we have two options. We can blame our tardiness on trains if we live in a city like New York, or we can be honest, apologize, and admit that although we hate to keep people waiting, sometimes we have trouble getting out of the house because our bed is just so soft and comfortable. Really, both sound like equally fine options to me.


Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject!


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Celebrity Sightings: Farrah Fawcett – 1947 to 2009 – Life Uncovered – Part 7

Stick Figure Thin

When Farrah was hospitalized, she seemed to fade in and out of consciousness, mumbling incoherent matters in between. She was stick-figure thin, so her dear friend Alana Stewart made every dish on Farrah’s former favorite food list so that she and O’Neal could try to tempt Farrah to eat. She made macaroni and cheese, fried chicken and ginger cookies – but there was no use. Farrah would take a cookie, stroke it gently and hand it back to Stewart with a smile, saying “that’s so beautiful.”

Marriage Wasn’t In The Cards

Fawcett and O’Neal had danced around the idea of marriage since before their son Redmond was born in 1985, with Farrah sometimes pushing it and O’Neal sometimes pushing it. But with three failed marriages between them as well as the difficulties in their relationship, a wedding never happen. One time, O’Neal even proposed to the actress using a cigar band as an impromptu engagement ring, but a flat tire on the way to the shotgun wedding ruined those plans.

O’Neal’s Last Chance

Just before Fawcett’s death, O’Neal decided to ask Farrah one more time to marry him and with tear-filled eyes, she accepted. While speaking about it in an interview, O’Neal said,” The priest at St John’s Hospital arrives to marry us but administered the last rites instead.” The next day, the doctor was ordered to remove the actress’ life support, and Farrah passed away just a few hours later with O’Neal at her side.

In Denial

Before her untimely and saddening death, Doug Vaughan, an NBC senior vice president, worked with Farrah on Farrah’s Story – a type of video diary she made detailing her battle against the disease. Doug was quoted saying: “This is so not the way she thought it was going to go, Farrah was certain that she was going to beat this.” Truth be told, Farrah was so profoundly convinced she was going to make it, the entire point of the video was to show other patients the fight is worth it.

In Sickness And In Health

O’Neal would not leave Farrah’s side during her last days. When he was asked why, he gave a rather unpredictable answer: “She’s never been more lovable,” he said. “There’s a sweetness – she’s skin and bones, but she’s got this beautiful look. I don’t know how long I’m going to get it, but I know why I’ve been around for 30 years for this person.” Although they have certainly had their rough patches over the years, some things never change.

Fighter Right Until The End

For two years Farrah moved back and forth between her comfortable California home and a personal German clinic. In the clinic, she underwent alternative treatments, some extremely painful and invasive. Suffering through the pain and clenching strongly to her mattress, Farrah insisted her best friend Stewart would film every single procedure she had to go through so that the documentary would chronicle her achievement in finding new means of combatting cancer. “She’s had terrible luck,” said O’Neal, “she tried so many different approaches.” Sadly, nothing worked.


Rest in Peace, Farrah. I’ll always love you because you were my first.



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