Dating and Relationship Advice – 7 Things Nice Guys Do That Girls Mistake for Flirting

things guys do that girls mistake for flirting

Nice guys do lots of things for women out of the goodness of their own hearts. But that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s trying to flirt with you!

Nice guys don’t always finish last. Many times they don’t care if they are first or last, because they are more concerned with others than themselves. That’s because they have manners, and that’s what nice guys do.

I know it might be hard to understand that there really are just some nice, good guys out there. No, they don’t all live in the south. They are everywhere!

Anyway, let me reiterate the fact that if a guy is nice to you, it does not mean he wants to sleep with you. I mean, he might, no doubt, but it’s very important to remember that there really are just some great guys out there in the universe, who were raised properly, and know how to treat people.

7 signs he’s just being a nice guy, and not a flirt

Check out the ways nice guys continue to confuse girls everywhere, by simply being nice and gentlemanly in all that they do.

#1 Nice guys holding doors for you. This might be a shocker, but just because you breathe the same air a guy breathes, does not mean he’s flirting with you. Just because you might be walking into the same entrance as the dude in front of you on your way to work, and find that the dude happens to pause, and motions for you to go ahead of him, all the while holding the door for you, does not mean he is in love with you.

He is however just a human with really awesome human common sense. It’s called manners people, go and get you some. He’s just a dude holding a door for you, and if you were to turn around to see him holding the door for you, you would probably find him still holding it for the other ten people walking up, including other women. Who knew! [Read: How to read mixed signals and turn it into love]

#2 Nice guys smiling at you. We all know the whole bitchy resting face look people have. But did you know that people have the capability to smile, and that smiling is way easier than frowning, and probably even easier than walking around with bitchy resting face? If a guy smiles at you, it does not mean he wants to get with you.

It simply means he’s probably a happy little fella, who has no problem spreading his happiness out into the world and being a really nice person. If a guy smiles at you, stop being so vain and thinking he wants you. [Read: 7 reasons you’re not being approached by guys who like you]

#3 Nice guys buying drinks for you. I know most people probably assume that if a guy buys you a drink, he’s just trying to get you home. Although this might seem hard to understand, it’s true. Some guys literally just have the manners and kind heart to want to buy you a drink, even if you don’t even know him.

Think about the random strangers paying for other strangers in the Starbucks drive-thru that went viral. It’s an act of kindness, and doing acts of kindness not only make you feel good about yourself, but it makes others feel good too. Who wouldn’t want to be in a complete feel-good environment?

So remember, just because a guy might buy you a drink, alcoholic or not, does not mean he is flirting with you or trying to hit on you. It literally just means he’s offering to pay for your drink. Now, if he were to invite you over to his table or offer to keep you company, then that’s when you’ll know if he is indeed flirting with you.

#4 Nice guys complimenting you. Have you ever had one of your girlfriends tell you that your hair looked great, or they liked your shoes? Yes, of course, you have. And unless your friend is a lesbian, then your friend wasn’t giving you the compliment because she wanted to get in your pants. Perhaps she wanted to borrow them, but not get “in” them.

Just like girls, guys are allowed to compliment you without it meaning they are flirting with you. Why wouldn’t you want a guy to tell you he likes your shirt, or hair, or whatever compliments his kind-hearted soul wants to give you.

Take it, enjoy it, bask in it, and maybe even take a selfie secretly, to remember just how great you looked. But, take those kind words, and remember that he’s not necessarily flirting with you, just because he pays you a compliment and notices you. [Read: 15 sure signs he likes you but isn’t into you]

#5 Nice guys letting you cut in lines. If you’ve ever found yourself standing in a long line at the post office or grocery store, and the guy in front of you kindly offers for you to cut in front of him, it’s a great feeling. It’s a feeling that makes you feel like a winner, and it might also tempt you to do a double-take at the guy who just let you cut.

Although these moments may not happen all the time, when they do, it’s important to remember that there are still men with manners out in the universe. Just because he let you sneak in front of him, does not necessarily mean he wants to get in your pants and likes you.

He’s a stranger! He doesn’t even know you. And even if he does want to know you, he’ll start that off with a conversation while you’re in line. If he just lets you cut in without talking to you afterwards, then he was just being really nice.

#6 Nice guys offering seats up for you. When you find yourself on a crowded subway, train, or bus, and a random guy taps you and gestures that you can take his seat and he’ll stand, it’s very cool of that guy. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when a guy offers his seat up for you to sit down, it’s definitely a sign that he was raised properly and has manners.

Just because a guy decides to let you sit down and take his spot, doesn’t mean he wants to do you. He’d probably do the exact same thing for an elderly woman, if she were to have gotten on at the same time.

#7 Nice guys being touchy-feely talking to you. If you know a guy who always touches you when talking to you, it probably annoys you a little bit and also makes you think he’s in love with you, because why else would he always want to touch you? I don’t mean a creep who gropes you and makes you feel uncomfortable, but I mean the guy who maybe sometimes pinches your shoulder, or touches your arm, or always gives you a hug immediately when he sees you as his way to say hello.

[Read: 15 essential relationship tips for single ladies]

Some people are just very touchy-feely when they talk, just like some people always talk with their hands. This doesn’t mean he loves you and is flirting with you.

I know we live in a world where it’s very easy to be jaded and not believe that there are still good guys out there. And sometimes, we can’t help but think that, if a guy is being nice to you, he obviously is only doing so because he wants something from you.

Newsflash: It might mean he’s just one of the beautiful souls walking around our universe, who are there to remind you that when these random acts of kindness happen to you, you should restore your faith in humanity.

Sure, there are users out there, but that’s life. Some people suck and are only nice to you for certain things. But there are also really awesome people in the world with good manners and good intentions, and it’s important to always remember that.

[Read: 13 charming ways to be more approachable]

As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “The time is always right, to do what is right.” Maybe the guy being nice to you just so happens to know that no truer words were ever spoken.

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5 thoughts on “Dating and Relationship Advice – 7 Things Nice Guys Do That Girls Mistake for Flirting”

  1. These are true, but some of them are also true in reverse. Men would do well to remember that if a woman smiles at them, it doesn’t mean she is making sexual advances but is simply being social. If a woman accepts a drink, it doesn’t mean she is readily available, and if a woman is “touchy-feely,” it doesn’t mean she is promiscuous.
    Incidentally, any male in Europe will hold the door for a woman, will stand up when she walks into a room or when she stands up, and will remain standing until she sits down. In a more formal situation, he would wait to be invited to sit down. It’s cultural.

  2. Good post. And as Ms Kool points out, even more true in reverse, since men must respond to very similar (identical?) social signaling from women who actually are sexual interested. Man proposes: woman disposes.

  3. You’re so right. I was raised to be courteous to women and girls. To give them my seat on the bus or train. To let them go ahead of me in line. That all seemed to go out the door in the 90’s when they would actually admonish, or even excoriate a guy for being nice. Sadly, I’ve given up the practice, unless it pertains to a female relative or close friend.

    1. Well put and there are few of us left, but I still retain all of my manners and traditions to this day and will always respect and do these things for the fairer sex.

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