Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger walk into a bar. It already sounds like the setup for a joke. That’s why we’ve already covered the now-legendary fight that resulted from that improbable premise once before here on Cracked. If you read that article (which was published before I started writing here, so I understand if you didn’t), you already know the lurid details. For the rest of you, here’s a quick refresher:
At a nightclub called The Plumm in NYC, during a birthday celebration for actress Rosario Dawson …
… a fight broke out between former hard rock badass Axl Rose and fashion designer to the mid-90s rap stars Tommy Hilfiger
The dispute happened after Rose had the audacity to move a drink belonging to Hilfiger’s girlfriend. I know, I was surprised too. That’s not the point, though. The point is, Axl Rose didn’t start this fight, he was just trying to keep some chick’s drink from falling off the table. You can bet your ass he ended that fight, though.
Unfortunately for his place in rock and roll badass lore, he ended it by getting crushed in the face by a dude who makes polo shirts for a living. It’s documented in the public record that he didn’t even fight back. When he got punched. By Tommy Hilfiger. For most people, the only consequence of that will be the added stress that comes with figuring out how best to invest your out of court settlement money. For Axl Rose, though, it’s a veritable public relations nightmare.
At least it would have been if it happened at a time when Axl Rose still had a public in need of being related to. This was 2006, though, a few years before the long-delayed Chinese Democracy was finally released. You could argue that it was a good thing that nobody cared what Axl Rose was up to when this happened. By 2006, he was already firmly established as the laughing stock that he is today, so there wasn’t much credibility to lose, even after an incident so terribly unrocking as this one.
And that, ultimately, is the saddest thing about the Tommy Hilfiger incident. It proved that Axl Rose was so far removed from his days as an icon of rock debauchery that we weren’t even surprised when he got beat up by a fashion designer.
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