When you are freshly single, it takes time to readjust to being in a singular relationship with yourself. You never stopped being with yourself, but your other partner might have been a distraction from this primary relationship — the only one that is guaranteed to last the length of your entire life. But being single doesn’t mean you’re alone, because you are a part of the universe. That fact remains true whether you are with someone or without.
If you don’t want to be alone anymore, then look around you. Start taking stock of the ways in which you are far from being on your own. Every day, you are surrounded by people. Your world is absolutely crowded with them, even if you’ve never taken the time to note their presence: the barista, your Uber driver, the person you sit next to on the train. You don’t even have to strike up a conversation with them to know that you are experiencing the same thing at any given moment.
If you choose to focus on your loneliness, rather than falling in love with your solitude, more singleness will follow. Instead, put extra strength and nourishment in your connections, even the fleeting ones. Soon, you’ll see all of these reasons why being single doesn’t mean you are on your own.
1. You’ll Always Be Your Own Best Companion
At any given time, the only person who can give you what you want is you. Want roses just because? Give them to yourself. Want a fancy dinner? Get the ingredients. Nobody is stopping you, and in fact, you are the only person who can make your dreams a reality.
There’s no love that any one person can give you that you aren’t able to give yourself. Even if you aren’t able to replenish your heart at the moment, you can reach out to the people who will. There’s no point to love, just love itself. You can keep loving long after a person has left your life — by pouring your love into yourself and into the people around you. The emotion only replenishes itself the more of it you give.
2. Nobody Will Ever Know You Completely
You’re the only person who will know yourself totally, but even the process of finding yourself is a journey that will unfold over the course of your lifetime. You are always coming back to yourself, again and again, and each encounter you have with any other person (not just romantically) will only open you up to new layers of discovery.
With that being said, I find it astounding that we expect to meet people who will know us completely. Even a soulmate relationship means recognizing an aspect of yourself in the other. It’s the “other” that’s important here. You can be with your soulmate, but you also have to be with the unknown.
You’re not alone just because nobody knows you completely. You are simply in the process of discovering yourself. And the more you surround yourself with all types of people — not just a partner — the more you’ll come to know yourself.
3. You Can Take Comfort In Both Friends And Strangers
Being single is an opportunity for you to explore all the different forms of connection the world has to offer you. From joking with strangers to sleepovers with friends to confessions shared with new lovers to happy hour drinks with your co-workers, there are different layers and levels of connection that are waiting to be discovered.
If you’re newly single, it might seem unfair. It might seem like you wanted to discover more with this other person, and now, you are being robbed of your opportunity. The truth of this concern is a matter of your perception. It could be that they had to leave so that your life had more room for the person who is meant to come into it. You’ll just have to wait and see.
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