This Is When She’ll Leave You – And Never Look Back

This Is When She’ll Leave You – And Never Look Back

She’ll leave you when she’s finally had enough. She’ll leave the false promises for the hard, acidic truth. She’ll swallow the bitter reality pill rather than another one of your saccharine falsehoods. She’ll leave you when she’s had enough of your candy-coated compliments, handed out as treats to placate her, to make her stay every time she tries to leave.

She’ll leave when she realizes the life that awaits her is more promising than any life you could’ve given her. That any addiction she had to you isn’t worth another hit that might kill her.

She knows that when she leaves you, she has to leave for good. No more tolerating your crocodile tears the next morning, after another night leaving her crying alone. No more cruel “jokes” told at her expense. No more cutting jabs in front of her loved ones. No more harsh insults, no more sabotage, no more of your petty envy making her feel small in the realms where she shines.

No more enduring death by a thousand cuts, just so no one sees the scars.

No more dimming her light. No more tiny betrayals or grand transgressions; no more indiscretions, flirtations or affairs. No more being humiliated, bullied, belittled behind closed doors. No more being abandoned out in the open, ridiculed in public. No more being told she’s not enough, in a million different ways. No more insidious mind games.

She’ll leave you when she knows time is running out. Time to heal, to create a life outside of you. Time to find herself and someone who deserves her.

You always acted like you were on the lookout for something better, but now she wants to reclaim the time she still has left – to do better and to be better, because she knows someone better will come along.

Such valuable time she’s wasted on trying to make you magically morph into a decent human being. Years or months of trying to get you to see that she’s worthy, that she never deserved to be treated like this – all down the drain and “nothing” to show for it – except for her renewed strength.

The loss of her innocence – and her naiveté. The birth of wisdom – of freedom, of independence. The renewal of her identity. Actually, come to think of it, you’re the one with everything to lose. She, in turn, will gain everything.

The thing about women who over think, overcompensate, overexert their efforts is that they all eventually have an awakening. They all eventually realize what they deserve.

When they finally walk, they walk away for good. They know they did all they could to save the man who never existed in the first place.

When she walks away, trust her when she tells you that you won’t hear from her again. Because all the times she tried to speak, you silenced her or gave her the silent treatment. All those times she tried to get you to have a breakthrough, you broke her down and made her feel like the weak one. All those times you brought in the threat of other women, you taught her how to forget her own irreplaceability.

You tried to make her forget she was magic.

The truth is, she was the powerful one all along. When you beg her to come back, she’ll be planning her comeback – and you’ll never see it coming.

The truth is, when she finally leaves you, you’ll realize it’s not just that she never really knew you.

You never really knew her either and what she was capable of.

You never realized, did you? That she had as much power to go as she used to stay.

But when she leaves, you’ll feel it. Her silence will move worlds. It will speak more volumes and truth than the words that have passed your lips your entire lifetime.

She’ll leave you when she realizes you were never the cure – you were the poison all along.

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Ambria – Chapter 8 – Wednesday Encounter

Ambria and I had a lovely little meetup on Monday, we decided to meet on Tuesday at noon for lunch. I figured Taco Tuesday at Drinkers Pub was in order.

She was down.

Tuesday morning I got a text from her to confirm. All good. Then I get a call from Achilles. He says Jill was supposed to open the salon today and she was a no-show.

“We just fucking hired her!”

“I know. Can you go over there and work?”

“Fuck. Okay.”

He’s my business partner. I can’t let him down. We’re having a crisis, and the clients need to served.

I call Ambria and explain my dilemma. I can tell she’s not only disappointed, but seems suspicious. That worries me. It’s early in the relationship. But this is a legit last-minute cancellation. I feel bad about it, but we can do tacos next week. That’s why I called her and didn’t text her. That would have been lame.

So the next day, I decide to get a haircut from Jimmy, the old guy I met at 1518 Bar and Grill. He’s been cutting hair for 40 years in the same location on Sansom Street. His barber shop is on the 2nd floor over Oscar’s. (Dive bar) I like Jimmy, so I figured get the guy who has a great history, and once cut singer Eddie Fisher’s hair.

After my haircut, which looks fabulous, I go down to 1518 for a glass of wine. I text my friend Jillian, to confirm that we’re meeting for happy hour. Of course Jillian bails saying her boss gave her a bunch more work to do. Lame.

So I text Sarika. I’m good with having a drink with the hottest girl I know. Sarika texts back that she’s in Boston all week.

I text my buddy Robert. He says I can meet him to go pick up his baby son at day care and then we can walk back to Fairmount, and have a drink at McCrossin’s by his house. That sounds lame, and I pass on that.

Then I get a text from Ambria that she has a drug dinner at Ocean Prime at 7pm, and can I meet up around 4pm to hang before. (drug dinner?) One of the pharmaceutical firms that works with the hospital where she works is throwing the staff a dinner.

I tell her I’d love to see her. After the taco Tuesday fail, I felt this would be my opportunity to reconnect with her and explain the whole situation to her.

She comes in to the bar and I’m there sipping my chardonnay with a side of ice. She looks great. Her hair is looking chic and she has a lovely light blue dress on. She gives me a hug and a peck, then takes a seat next to me. This is better than any happy hour I would have had with anyone else.

I tell her the whole tragic tale of why Jill bailed at the salon and how we had to fire her. (See: Sun Stories – Jill – 2016 to Present – Fired)

We hang out and chat and there is more hand holding, eye gazing and giggling. I ask her if we can slide over to Dan Dan so I can get something to eat. She’s fine with it. We get there and my boy Chet is behind the stick. He asks her what she’d like to drink as he sets down a chardonnay with a side of ice down on the bar in front of me.

My boy’s on point.

She orders a glass of rose’. I get some chicken pot stickers and dry rub wings. We’re chatting and munching the food. She only eats one of the wings because she’s about to go to a nice sit down dinner around the corner. I’m happy I got to see her, and express to her again how grateful I am that she was understanding about me bailing on our taco lunch an hour before we were supposed to meet. She is very understanding and just said that I sounded a little weird on the phone, but it’s probably because I was stressed about the situation. I agree with her and I’m glad every thing is hunky dory with us now.

I ask her if she’d like to try again for the movies on Monday. She says she automatically believed that was going to happen and is already planning on it. That makes me happy. I love going to a matinee in the afternoon on a workday in the summer. I always feel like I’m playing hooky. Hot and sunny outside. Nice and cool in the dark theater while the story unfolds larger than life before you. The buttery popcorn, crunchy candy and ice-cold fountain soda make for the perfect date. (Plus for you guys with little game, you don’t have to talk for two hours!)

We wrap it up at Dan Dan, and I walk her over to Ocean Prime. I tell her to have fun and I’ll be thinking about her. She gives me some sweet kisses and in she goes. I walk down to the corner and light a cig. I see I have a text from my friend Church. That’s odd. He knows I was supposed to meet Jillian for happy hour. The text came in at 5:30. It’s 6:45 now. I text him that I’m on my way. He texts back that he got bored and left.

Strange.

Well, that saves me spending any more money tonight. I’ll go home and write some more. Ambria is great.

Well, until Movie Matinee Monday, I’ll see you all later!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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