5 Truly Attractive Traits Men Look For In A Life-Long Partner

5 Truly Attractive Traits Men Look For In A Life-Long Partner

Want to know what makes you long-term relationship material for a guy?

What are the personality traits men look for in a life-long partner?

In our never-ending quest for love, awareness of those traits is a good piece of knowledge to have in your toolbox.

While, of course, this list won’t apply to all men, you can bet that most of them would agree that what I am about to say is true in relationships.

So here we go. What do guys like in a girl who will become their life-long partner?

1. Self-confidence

A man wants a woman who knows exactly who she is and is happy with that. And a woman who will tell him exactly what it is that she wants. A woman who can just be herself. A woman who confidently walks down the street rocking her cowboy boots and tight jeans.

Why? Because a man doesn’t want a woman who isn’t sure of herself, who relies on him to make her feel good. A man doesn’t want a woman who needs him to guess what he can do to make her feel happy and secure. He wants to be told what is needed so that he can do it (and not screw up!).

So, if you aren’t feeling so good about yourself, it’s time to work on that. And the only way to build your self-confidence is to go out there and earn it.

Set a goal for yourself. Make a plan. Make it happen. If you do, you will feel good about yourself. I promise.

2. Independence

A man wants a woman who is independent. While men do love women who will lean on them at times for love and support, they don’t want a woman who needs him there at all times to take care of her.

A man wants a woman who has her own life, her own friends, her own career, and who enjoys being with him but doesn’t need to be at all times.

Why independence? We all need our space sometimes and a woman who is independent will be fine letting their man do his own thing. And a woman who is independent is someone a man has to work for and nothing intrigues a man more than someone he has to work for.

3. A love of laughter

On the dating site Match.com, the number one most requested trait in a partner is a sense of humor. This was over physical looks and financial security. Why? Because laughter brings people together and that is what love is all about, being together.

I am not saying that you should go out and buy a book of jokes so that you will have some at the ready on your next date. What I am saying is to keep your mind and heart open to laughter when your guy says or does something to make you laugh.

Men love to make their women laugh. I am not sure what part of their prehistoric brain that need feeds but, without exception, the men I know want to be able to make a girl laugh.

4. S*xual inquisitiveness

I am not saying that it’s time to break out the whips and chains here. What I am saying is that men are looking for women who are open to talking about s*x.

I was surprised to learn recently that a friend of mine is in a long-term relationship with a woman who is very uncomfortable talking about s*x. Their s*x life is fine but he is hoping to talk about mixing it up a bit. She isn’t comfortable even talking about it so he stopped broaching the subject. And he is not happy.

Again, I am not saying that woman should be willing to do whatever a guy wants, s*xually, but I am suggesting that being open to talking about it is an important trait in a woman for a guy.

5. Femininity

I know in this modern world, it might not be totally cool for me to say this but I firmly believe that, no matter what is happening politically, men want women to be women.

I know that my boyfriend really appreciates my self-confidence and independence but I remember the first time he saw me in a dress. He had only ever seen me in jeans and hiking clothes and there I was, suddenly looking like a girl. His jaw actually dropped.

Men also like women they can (at least sometimes) open the door for, who let him make them laugh, who let him know when he finds their ON button. Women who make a man feel like a man.

If you were wondering what traits men look for in a long-term partner, I hope my list has been helpful.

Men want women who can be themselves in a relationship, who want happiness and laughter and sex, and who make men wonder, just a little bit, at who this amazing woman is they have been so lucky to end up sitting beside.

So find your inner self-confident, independent, open and girly self and go out there and rock some guy’s world.


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Maria – Chapter 8 – I Get To See You Again

Maria, my muse and inspiration for this blog has agreed to meet with me again for lunch. I have a bottle of wine for her to donate to her cause. I want to do anything I can for Maria.

Here’s the rub. It’s March. Winter is on its ass as my father would say here in Philly, but you never know what March can bring. Maria is trying to get her degree and busting her butt to get her studies in order but she is leading the charge on this fund-raiser.

The event is on Sunday. It’s Friday and she’s running around trying to get all of the last-minute details done before the event.

And make time for lunch with me.

I leave my apartment in Rittenhouse. Lorelei is asleep because she works at night too.

I step out onto Pine street with my umbrella and it’s a snow storm. Giant flakes falling and blowing. Insane. It’s not cold enough for it to stick but it is just a mess outside.

This is not good. Maria could bail. I get that.

I’m ready. We’re meeting at Marathon on 16th and Sansom. I know the owner. He gave me a $25 gift card and I’m ready to burn it on my unemployed muse.

I weather the storm and make my way to the restaurant.

I know everyone there and they welcome me. They put me at a nice table at the window on Sansom.

I shoot video of the crazy weather and send it to my ex girlfriend Michelle but she doesn’t respond.  She lives in San Francisco now and I ask her if she can guess where I am but all I get is crickets. (See: Michelle – A Brand New Day)

Maria says she’s on her way.

I’m just trying to dry out and my umbrella is soaked, but I’m just happy I’ve been able to spend time with her.

Maria shows up quickly and looks amazing. I only say this because even if my muse is disheveled she will always look amazing to me because of what she means to me.

Maria leaves her little winter hat on the entire lunch and it looks so cute. But like I said. She can do no wrong at this point.

I know Maria doesn’t see the weight of this. Oblivious and happy for the donations. I am honored to oblige. I’m sure that Maria has no idea of the depth that she has inspired my art. She’s just a regular girl making her way in Philly. But somehow through her actions and her impression on me she has inspired phicklephilly.

Maria is checking her phone and upset that her coworkers may not be pulling hard enough on this event to raise gifts and money.

I totally get it. I’ve managed people before and you always want them to be like you. But they can never be you. That’s the catch with management. You’re always frustrated because your staff can never be as good as you.

It’s a never-ending cycle.

Maria is so frustrated. She goes with the tuna albacore wrap. I hope she likes it and doesn’t get sick.

I destroy my favorite, the barbecued chicken sandwich with fries. I like that Maria picks at my fries. I love sharing anything with her.

It’s a lovely moment. The snow is falling and we’re at a nice table at the window.

I’m having lunch with the woman who I was once infatuated with that inspired me to write again after 10 years. There’s nothing special about her. I think she’s beautiful. She’s charming and has lovely legs. (My usual attraction) She’s dating the owner of the company she works for, her familiar challenges. Maria is 3 months away from getting her degree in Marketing, and now she’s stuck looking for a serving job somewhere in Philly to pay the bills.

My muse has hit another wall but continues to march forward and find her way.

My unrequited love for Maria is classic phicklephilly fodder, but what if my realization that Maria is not meant for me but for a greater purpose?

What if we see Maria in a year successful in her career and through with all of this restaurant bullshit?

I’ve worked in media in this city for years. I have loads of contacts and would do anything to help her.

Maria liked her tuna albacore wrap. She ate half of it and didn’t get sick. Our server at Marathon was amazing and I burned my $25 gift card that had been given to me by the owner because he works out at our gym.

So even though Maria ordered a glass of champagne our bill was $10.

I was happy to give her the bottle of wine because it was a gift and I knew I’d never drink it.

I’m in a relationship with Cherie. I love her with all of my heart, But I did feel the romantic rush of being with Maria for a third encounter. I know it means nothing to her and she’s busy with her own survival and her own romantic entanglements, but it was just sweet to be with Maria.

My inspiration.

She can do no wrong.

I’ll text her job offers and she won’t get back to me.

It’s okay.

That’s Maria.

(She actually did!)

Thank you for the inspiration.

We step out into the snow. It’s not laying. Maria is angry because she has so much to do today based on her event.

Maria hugs me and I’m grateful for the attention. I hope her event is a success. We’ve given a gift card, and I’ve bought a ticket and donated a bottle of wine.

I hope it helps.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                                         Facebook: phicklephilly