10 Signs You’re Compatible with the One You’re Dating

signs you're compatible

Just because you get along and like the same things, doesn’t make you compatible. Here’s how to know if you’re dating someone you’re compatible with.

They say that opposites attract. This may be true for many, and while I may agree that two people of different characteristics might find initial attraction towards each other, it is compatibility that would ultimately keep their relationship together. Compatibility and chemistry are two entirely different things, and both are essential in maintaining a healthy relationship.

Have you ever wondered what makes you and your date click? When you are compatible with each other, it means that you are attuned to your partner’s sensibilities. Compatibility in a relationship can help determine whether or not you and your partner are meant to be together for the long haul.

Being truly compatible with each other means so much more than sharing the same beliefs or interests. True compatibility means that your personalities mesh well with each other. While you might find someone who is as free-spirited as you are and enjoys the same things you like, your life goals may be different. You may have completely opposite tastes and personalities, but when the tough times come, your opposite personalities complement each other. Aren’t relationships complicated?

The true test of compatibility is spending time together, and not just those little dates that you both plan out for each other. The true test of compatibility lies in spending an extended amount of time together while getting through different situations together, both the tough ones and the happy ones.

Are you and your partner a good match?

How does one discern true compatibility? Take a look at your relationship, and see if you spot any of these signs of compatibility.

#1 You see each other through the trying times. It’s true that it’s the trying times that would truly test your compatibility, not the easy ones. The trying times would show the true test of one’s character. The trying times would show you how you would be able to handle conflicts and difficulties.

Would both of you be able to handle the arguments and still be able to support each other, despite the situation that you’re both in? This is the reason why many relationships don’t last: the tough times that serve to test the strength the relationship end up breaking it.

#2 You don’t question the love in your relationship. When you are secure in your partner’s love, you know that your relationship can do no wrong. When you feel each other’s love despite the fights and the disagreements, then you know that you have found the one that you are compatible with.

#3 You know each other’s deepest secrets. Honesty is important in a relationship. Sharing secrets can show you how compatible you are with your partner. Trust and honesty just show how invested you both are in your relationship, despite knowing each other’s darker side.

#4 You could spend time in silence without it being awkward. When you spend time with each other, you can do “your own thing” without having to put up with any awkward silence. There is uncomfortable silence where you feel like you have to fill the air with some form of small talk, and then there is comforting silence where there’s no pressure to start babbling about anything to stave off the awkwardness. If you have the latter, you can say you’re compatible.

#5 Your relationship still feels fresh. Being together for a long time can pave the way for monotony and boredom to seep in. However, as time goes by, you can either let your relationship stagnate or let it grow into something more meaningful. The feeling that you’re still learning, growing, and enjoying in your relationship through the years is a sure sign of compatibility.

#6 There is still mutual attraction. You know that you are compatible with each other when you find that, after all the time you have spent together, you can still find your partner attractive. While sex isn’t everything in a relationship, it is important that you and your partner are physically intimate with each other. There should still be a spark that keeps the flame alive!

#7 You can be your true self around your partner. Some relationships fail because people put up a front to ensure that their partner will still like them. Thus, what happens is that their partner becomes compatible with their mask, and not their true selves.

If you’re able to show your partner your silliness, your idiosyncrasies, your weirdness, and your weaknesses without fear that they will no longer love you, and the same is true for your partner, you can then be confident that you and your partner are a great match.

#8 You see a future with each other. You know that you are compatible with your partner when you see a future with each other, settling down, getting married, and having children together. You know that it is true compatibility when you see beyond the fantasy wedding that you will have. You plan a life together with them, despite knowing that it won’t always be smooth sailing. You see yourself growing old with them, and supporting each other in your old age.

#9 You don’t want to change your partner. They say that people don’t change unless they want to. You know you are compatible with your partner when you respect them as an individual. Sure, they might have some quirks which you might find to be immature or annoying, at times. You might find that the way they dress, sleep, or eat is something that you don’t like, but it’s part of the package, and you wouldn’t change them either way.

#10 Your partner makes you want to bring out the best in you. Couples who are really compatible with each other bring out the best in each other. They have that drive to push you forward and bring out the best in you. They support you in good times and in bad times. They cheer you on as you work your way through law school or insist on being a stay-at-home parent. They are your greatest fan, and you know you can always count on them to cheer you on and have your back whenever you are down.

Love is never enough to save a relationship. You might have all the love in the world for each other, but it is never enough to get you through the difficult times. Love can be fickle, and will ultimately fly out the window once there are conflicts and arguments that remain unresolved.

Your compatibility with your partner will help your relationship withstand the test of time. Without it, you will only end up fighting over your differences, until you realize that there’s no way you can stand to stay with each other.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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My Father – 1929 to 2016 – Diamonds and Rust – Part 3

Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I’ll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.

Sister Janice was born in January 1961, I appeared 18 months later in August 1962.

I have no idea about the circumstances of my conception. But apparently it was too soon for my mom and she was pissed at my dad for knocking her up again so fast. He said she didn’t speak to him for the entire pregnancy. Can you imagine this kind of juvenile bullshit? First of all he should have laid off mom and I have no idea why he needed to hit that again so soon. Apparently my mom wasn’t that into sex at all. He once told me that she said, “we’re like a couple of dogs going at it.”

Brutal.

Clearly this is not the glorious celebration I’ve experienced during my union with another vessel that is clearly in love with me and we are going to make a Lorelei. Sadly that was a calculated well-timed act scheduled by her mother but it’s too late now. Lor is here and she is a wonderful part of my life.

But then my parents had four kids… I don’t have any information why or how that happened. But what kid really wants that data about their parents anyway. Right?

But once I was born, my mom spoke to him again and loved me. It was a very hot in the summer of August of 1962. It was so humid she would take me to the basement to give me my bottle. I was born when they lived in North Philly on Hope Street but they got the house in Lawndale when I was one, and that’s where I grew up.

I was always careful and timid. Janice would kick me in the crib because I was the new youngling. She started biting her nails because I was the new baby. The new star.

But all shooting stars fall.

Janice was bold and would crawl right off the couch and I would watch and hang back. My father would laugh that his one child would venture forth and fall and the other would hang back and survive.

We need people like Janice. The ones that are stable and go forward to bring the species forward.

But we also need people like me to stay behind, to draw the pictures of her adventures, and look after the women, the young, and to entertain the tribe.

 

Let’s get back to the theme here.

Janice’s son looks a lot like my dad. Janice is very much cut from my dad. We have history to prove this. She marries well, and creates a wonderful son. My nephew Tim is a great kid. Their whole family is great.

Tim always adored my father. He loved Pop. My father was able to roll in with the treats and the toy trains and do “Greatest Hits” with Tommy.  He didn’t have to raise Tim.

Janice and her husband did.

He’s the Paragon.

Tim adored Pop.

My dad adored his father and got nothing.

“Here’s $10….  get them a set of trains. ” (Didn’t give a shit about his sons)

Tim adores my father. That’s the ONE Thing my father has always wanted. A little boy who is well-behaved. A sweet kid. No drama. Goes to college. Gets a great job. Is lifeguard of the year. Looks like him. Understands him. Knows how to navigate him in a safe respectful, gentle way. Diplomatic. Can live with him during the summer and be the perfect companion. Justifies his existence.

I commend Tim for being sentient enough to understand my father.

The complete opposite of me. This boy was raised by my sister. Not by Horace. That’s a whole different relationship. This is “Greatest Hits” and Tim makes great records!

Tim became the son my father always wished for. He was this perfect respectful boy who gave him what he always wished for from his father.

His circle was complete. It made my father so happy.

Of course the kid that looks like you is from the daughter who is most like you and he’s perfect. Because he isn’t the shit you ground into powder in the studio that never made the album.

Tim is your Greatest Hits album.

You don’t have to raise him. He stops in and gets the BEST of you. He loves you. He worships you like you worshiped your dad. He loves the toy trains. He’s a good, compliant boy. He’s not Helen’s family. That’s the son you wanted. You didn’t have to raise him and download your pain and bullshit into him. You never threatened or hit Tim with your hands.

It was easy.

So good. Not lies or weird. Not the component of you that harbors your dark side that’s you and knows your dark side and struggles with it. He doesn’t know that I know the truth about you, dad. He’s a sweet boy that looks like a better version of you and doesn’t share your demons.

But I know you, and I know ALL of your demons and we’re all on the same side now.

He’s clean. It’s easy. Give him the ring Bilbo Baggins. You’re a man who taught us that we should always live by our word and that our word was our bond, but you were lying the whole time. To me and to yourself, man.

Come on….

How did you live with all of the infidelity and the illegitimate kids?

 

You reckless fuck.

 

You did it because you could. Maybe that’s why I love a good paradox in all of my stories. Because that’s you dad.

(I’ll get to my half-brother and sister in a future posts…. yea, I know… horrors…. phicklephilly phollowers!)

It’s so easy. Tim doesn’t have to be raised by you and all of your rage and OCD and anxiety never touch him.

You’re countless fights with mom and how many times I failed you don’t exist. Clean slate. Awesome, Pop.

Tim is the perfect son you always wanted because it’s easy and you can forget all of the sins you seared into my mother and I.

It’s okay, we forgive you, but the memories remain.

 

You’re the son he always wanted Tim. Automatic and easy. You get Pop Pop’s triple diamond ring and I…. his blood son gets passed over. (I don’t give a fuck about his stupid jewelry, Tim. My identity comes from a place my father has never seen.)

The 3 diamond ring goes to the you…

(My grandfather left a ring to my Dad that had 3 diamonds in it. He wore it every day. (Is that to show some sort of affluence?)

Jewelry is nothing but shiny stones and metal.

All that glitters isn’t gold, dad.

I would have pawned it anyway, because stuff means nothing to me anymore. Life is to be lived and experienced and we are meant to always evolve.

I’ll tell you what brings me joy.

Knowing my daughter Lorelei is healthy and happy in her life. I’m fine, but once you have a child… that’s until you die. I never screamed at her or frightened her. I never hit her. Hitting children is wrong.

You scared me and hit me a lot. That doesn’t make for good people. It’s wrong. I’m smaller than you and I’m not allowed to defend myself. So you can hit me and do whatever you want to me and I am powerless. So no matter what you preach to me about life, and honor and being a man of my word…

You still get to abuse me verbally and physically.

Simple as that, asshole.

Tim gets the 3 diamond ring because he’s the son you wanted but you never earned.

Janice made him. Not you.

 

Your subtle message of inheritance and bloodline bounces from me like piss in the ocean, father.

 

Just like your weird cryptic messages left in a toy train station about how it’s your last stop and all of that. You knew it would be found by Janice. How fucked up is that? So you want to cause pain and sadness and drama beyond your expiration? I’m going to hit the accelerator here and say, drama queen. Because that’s not cool. In movies that’s cool. You and I loved film, dad. But you don’t pull that drama shit on your favorite daughter. What the fuck were you thinking?

Dad….She loved you more than anybody in the world.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly             Facebook: phicklephilly