A few years ago, a friend of mine invited me out to drink with her girlfriends at a local bar. There were three of them – my friend, a friend of hers that I had hooked up with a few times, and a friend I didn’t know. I thought Tonya I didn’t know was kind of cute, so I had my friend hooked us up a few days later.
We go out, have a few drinks, and generally have a good time. We go back to my place, have a few more drinks and stay up a while talking. We’re both tired, so we go to bed. No sex.
Next day she doesn’t have to work or anything, so I tell her she can chill at my place. I come home and she’s cooking/cleaning, which was nice of her, but unnecessary as I’m generally pretty clean. We hang out, chat, watch a movie, etc until it’s time for bed. Again, no sex.
Third day she goes home when I go to work. Cool. I don’t think I saw her that night.
Next night she calls me up and there’s some crazy drama going on with her mom and wants to come over. I tell her it’s OK, and she shows up 20-30 minutes later with a bag. Whatever, no big deal. We go to bed. No sex.
Next day, when I get home from work, she drops a bomb on me. She apparently has a man already. The man she’s dating? Remember that chick that I said I hooked up with? It’s her ex-husband. What the fuck? Anyway, she wants to break up with her man to start dating me.
Before she went and ended her relationship, I decided to tell her that while I’m 95% straight, I do have some bisexual tendencies. (A bold faced lie)
She looks at me and says, “Well, I’m bi too, but that’s a deal breaker for me.”, Gets up, gathers up all her stuff, and leaves without saying a word.
Here’s where the crazy comes in. After she leaves, she starts texting/calling me nonstop. Just a ton of hateful, bigoted shit. I’m drinking, and sending all her calls to voicemail and deleting her texts. At 11:45 I get a knock on the door.
And she’s drunk.
I let her in for some strange reason. Then I ask her what she wants. She immediately starts berating me again and just being a rude bitch in general. I inform her that she’s no longer welcome in my house and ask her to leave.
Well, in my state, I’m allowed to use any and all means to remove a trespasser from my property, so I gently but firmly grab her by the shoulders and walk her to the door, open it, and walk her out the door, shutting and locking it behind me. I hear her hit/kick the door, then she leaves.
I wake up the next morning, put on a pot of coffee, then get a text from the friend that introduced us asking me “What the fuck happened last night?!”
I’m confused, so I just call her and ask what the hell she’s talking about. Apparently that chick showed up at her house at 3am, severely intoxicated and with multiple cuts/bruises/scraps and saying that I beat her up.
She also went to the cops and tried to file a police report so they’d come and arrest me. Luckily the cops told her to go sober up and come back later.
That was almost two years ago now. About 4 months, maybe 5 months ago, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize. It was her asking if I wanted to get together.
That chick was nuts.
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