Should You Hook Up On The First Date? Experts Say It’s Up To You

Imagine this: You’re on a first date that’s going extremely well. You’re having a good time, you’re comfortable, and you’re super attracted to the person you’re out with. A special connection on a first date doesn’t always happen, but when it does, it can feel like some sort of supernatural gift from the universe. At that point, you might just be tempted to jump your date’s bones right then and there. We’ve all been there, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling like you want to get freaky ASAP. But, should you hook up on the first date? Well, according to experts, it really depends on what you’re looking for and what you want.

But, are you doomed for a potential future relationship with this person if you hook up on the first date?

“No!” Queen says. “If you have sex with someone who’s sex-positive and not a sl*t-shamey type, you’ve basically just accelerated the getting-to-know process a little,” she explains. “If there are no judgements, getting busy is not a mark against you in the big book of life.” Basically, if the two of you are on the same page, there’s a chance your casual hookup could, indeed, turn into a relationship.

Every situation is different. I actually hooked up with my fiancé on our first date, and now we’re getting married. We’ve been together since that first date, fell in love, and moved in after three months. It was definitely a “when you know, you know” situation, and I feel lucky. I’m not saying that if you hook up with someone on the first date, you’ll get married one day, but don’t rule out a relationship with someone you hook up with right away.

And if you do think you might want a relationship with this person, and they turn out to no longer be interested in you after you hook up, Queen says not to stress. “Sex-positive frisky people shouldn’t mourn the loss of a potential relationship with someone like that,” she explains. “You are not compatible with them!”

At the end of the day, the decision of whether or not to hook up on the first date is one only you can make. “Enjoying casual sex is a choice like so many other sexual choices: engaging in kinky play, enjoying porn, sex with toys, sex with the lights on!” Queen explains. “And what matters is you are clear about what you want, what your boundaries are, you can communicate about that, you know what safety protocols you need to master, and you seek out people who are compatible.” Only you know that’s best for you. Maybe it’s having sex on the first date, and maybe it’s waiting a week, a month, or a year. It’s your call, and whatever you want to do, it’s about you and your partner.


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Kita – Chapter 13 – First Date – Part I

“You stop being a Sun Story once I meet you outside the salon.”

I’ve been praying this day would come for over a week. The day is finally here. The day I break rule number 3 at the salon. (See: Sun Stories: Haley – Rules and Lists) I’m anticipating my date with lovely Kita. It doesn’t even make sense to me but for some reason it’s happening. Just like all of my other dates that have happened in the last decade. Michelle, Annabelle, Cherie. Should I have gotten any of them? The world is furious, but somehow I prevail. Procuring beautiful women to be mine is my forte.

I’m not a wolf hunting down young women half my age. They simply come to me. I have developed a fatal charm in the last 20 years. I’ve honed it in the darkness alone.

There’s no reason for a beautiful, fit, 21 year old Asian transplant from Florida should meet and old lion for dinner. The guy from the tanning salon who’s nice to her and gives her special care. She’s still in love with her loser ex and already has leaped to a new guy that’s already enamored by her. He has no idea what he’s doing and is pushing too hard to acquire her heart. Both are fools and any behaviors they’re displaying are wrong. I know this because I’ve swum these waters for the last 30 years and I’ve seen all of the little fishies and remoras.

I’ve become incredibly efficient in executing the sale and closing the deal for the last 30 years. If these clowns just knew how to play it cool and use their strengths in business in other parts of their lives they’d do so much better with women.

Sadly, all of these young guys are ruled by their testosterone, lack of knowledge of women, and silly passions and emotions.

All a waste of time, boys.

The best lion lies in the grass on the savannah and lets the gazelle walk by and enjoy the fruit and grain. He does nothing. He’s simply present and patient. My father was very patient. He said you always need to play the long game. Maybe have several long games playing at the same time.

It’s all a game.

When you finally strike she will wonder why you finally did. But it will be too late. It’ll be a sudden strike. Hooves in the air, a spray of blood and the gazelle is your prize.

“Why did you?

“I’m a lion. What did you think I was going to do, Kita?”

Lie quietly and just be there. Busy. Powerful, and not clawing at the door of all of the women in your life. Be the man at the party that seems disinterested in them. She’ll ask herself, ‘Why do they all flock to me and he doesn’t?’ That will create interest. I guarantee it. It worked for my dad and it works for me.

You simply lie in the grass chatting with your other mates and act like you don’t even notice her. She’s your target but she can’t know that she’s in your crosshairs. She’ll come to you because you’re different. You must have something about you or something going on that makes you inaccessible to her. They all want her and you don’t care.

You do care. You care more for her than all of the herd. You’re just a better hunter.

Am I cheating on my girlfriend Cherie by meeting Kita for dinner? It’s just me having dinner with a good client. So technically, no. But if romance ignites and I kiss her, then yes. But I’ve been writing passionately about Kita for weeks now as if I’m falling in love with her.

That’s worse.


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