I matched with Maureen on Bumble. Let’s take a look at her profile.
(Okay. Clearly something’s wrong from the start. This woman in her photos is not 24 years of age. She’s at least in her 40’s. But I’m sure it’s just a typo.)
Easy going, adventurous, generous, an excellent friend, very bright, witty and a whole lot of fun, with a great smile. A good listener, companionable, accomplished, cook extraordinaire and definitely glass half full. Thanks to my friends for the above comments about me.
Seems nice enough.
Because it’s Bumble, ladies go first. So if she doesn’t message me on the app in 24 hours, the match will expire.
But sure enough, she does.
“Hello – In addition to your nice blue eyes, I also enjoy to laugh a lot. What do you like to do in your spare time? I look forward to chatting!”
“Hello Mary! Thank you for the compliment you seem lovely as well. I enjoy socializing when I’m not working and writing.”
“Socializing sounds good – I like times with friends, entertaining, celebrations. I see we are both in Philadelphia. I think it would be worth our while to chat. When is good for you to connect?”
(Wow. She got right to the point. This lady’s not wasting any time.)
“Lunch next week?”
“Charles – ok, how does next Thursday 2/1 or Friday 2/2 work for you? – Mary”
(At this point I must have gotten distracted or busy with work because she reaches out again on 1/31)
“Charles – I am not sure if you got my message. Would you still like to have lunch? Does Thursday Feb 1 or Monday Feb 5 work for you – Mary”
(On Feb 2 I get back to her. I don’t know what took me so long. Could be that she’s really pushing hard early for a date.)
“Sorry Maureen. Death in the family.” (Bold faced lie.) Could you do a drink at Square 1682 on 2/5?”
“Sure, Charles. Monday as proposed works for me. Let’s get on the phone very briefly for details.”
(Why do we have to talk on the phone? She seems pushy.)
(On the 5th Maureen messages me again.)
“I am confirming that I will meet you for a drink at 8:30pm tonight at Square 1682.”
(I’m really being a dick here. I didn’t get back to her. What’s wrong with me? Am I becoming like my shitty dates?”)
“Since I have not heard back from you, I am assuming tonight may not work for you. So let me know if you would like to meet another time for a drink. – Mary”
(I don’t get back to her until the 7th. I really suck on this one. She’s been more that patient with my loser ass.)
“I’m sorry Maureen. What does your Saturday look like. Also here’s my number, 267-555-1212.”
(February 8th I reach out again. Maybe I’ve lost her with all my jerking around.)
“Saturday after 5?”
“Sure. Sounds fine. I texted you.”
“And I texted you back, dear. (smiley emoji)”
(Now we switch over to actual texting)
“Charles Saturday evening is fine to meet in person – Center City, I imagine. Do you have a preferred place? Look forward to meeting. Mary from Bumble.”
(She certainly is thorough. But I have been a piece of shit through all of this.)
“Let’s meet at Marathon at 16th and Sansom at 6pm.”
“Sounds fine. See you then.”
“Great. Looking forward to meeting you.”
(So today at 11:00am I texted her again.)
“Still good for 6pm at Marathon today?”
(So we’ll see how it goes tonight. I will be leaving the salon in about 20 minutes from now. I should get to Marathon around the corner. I’ll get there probably at 5:15. Which gives me a 30 to 45 minute window to smoke a post work celebratory cig and then have a Bulliet rye Manhattan straight up at the bar to decompress before my first meeting with Maureen.
So if she shows up, (I’m sure she will) They’re be a chapter 2 on Thursday!
See you later!
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