I was chilling at Cavanaugh’s Rittenhouse having my Monday lunch special. I get a text from Kita.
“My Mom said she looked at JR’s Facebook and it looks like he has a new girlfriend. So now I’m in a terrible mood. I wish she never told me.”
“Can you please ask your mother to refrain from looking at your ex’s social media and NOT tell you stuff like that again? You’re trying to heal!”
“I’m so sad.”
“I’m sorry dear. Pain is part of growing up. We appreciate our happiness more when we know sadness. It’s part of life. I know that doesn’t make you feel better but try to stay busy and surround yourself with good people.”
“I know and I know he didn’t treat me the way I deserve. But it makes me sad. I could’ve probably had another chance with him if I didn’t involve myself with Steve. And now Steve is gone too. I’m just really upset. Why is it taking so long to heal? I want this process to be over by now.”
You can’t rush the healing process. Grief travels at it’s own speed. You have the capability to love deeply, Kita. That’s a good quality. I have it too. But since we love deeply it takes time for us to heal when love is ripped from out hearts. I’ve been through this a couple of times. Love and pain don’t work like a light switch no matter how much we want them to.”
I’m in so much pain right now. I miss him and now he has someone else and is okay. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even want to be alive right now. I’m so sad.”
“Oh God please no, Kita! Don’t say that! There are many people who love and care about you. Call a friend or family member. Write down your feelings. Please believe me, IT GETS BETTER. You’ll meet someone else and be fine. Maybe you just need to be single for a while and focus on yourself and heal.”
“I don’t know what I need but I need something because I can’t stand feeling this way.”
(I know what she needs….)
“You’re experiencing this kind of pain for the first time in your life, Kita. It’s always the worst the first time. I’ve been there. You almost can’t imagine that you can actually feel that much blackness.”
“I’ve felt this way for a long time. It somehow felt better this time around until I hear things about him and his life. And the fact that he’s doing alright and with new girls makes me feel sick. He gets to treat them nicely and loved and I’m just really sad. I miss him and being with him. It almost feels impossible at this point that I’ll ever move on. The entire year has been me trying to move on from him.”
“Maybe it was just photos of him with girls he knows hoping to make you jealous. Maybe he doesn’t have a girlfriend. It could all be an act or he’s simply rebounding. Focus on you, Kita. I’ll do whatever I can to help you get through this mess.”
“I don’t want to check to see because it will probably make me upset. I don’t really know. I don’t think it would be a new girlfriend because just last month he was in my phone. But I don’t know anymore with him. I know I shouldn’t be upset because it could be anything. I’m still bothered by it.”
“Of course you are. That’s a normal reaction. Try not to panic. I’ve been through this. It sucks. I don’t think he has a new girlfriend that fast. Don’t look at any of it. It will only cause you pain.”
“I don’t know. It’s probably better not to know any of it anyway. It just leaves my head spinning. Ugh, this really sucks. Really sucks. Nothing is really going good in my life right now. I thought I was okay because Steve helped alot. But he’s history too now.
“He’s an idiot because he squandered a great, smart girl like you Kita. We all want that which retreats from us. You have great value and there are plenty of men who would love the opportunity to date you.”
“Thanks for helping me. I just don’t understand why I keep getting hurt.”
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