Is My Ex Looking At My Facebook Profile: How To Know If My Ex Has Been Stalking Me On Facebook

Here is a piece sent to me by one of my loyal readers. What are your thoughts on this article?

It isn’t uncommon to go through a breakup and find that you still have feelings for your ex. Many people who have gotten out of relationships find that they really would like to know if their ex still has a desire to have them in their life. Searching for signs can be very confusing if you aren’t sure what to look for. Here are some of the most common signs you can keep an eye out for that can indicate your ex still wants you.

If, for some reason, your ex is still in contact with you after you have broken up, this might mean that he or she is taking some time to work out their feelings. Don’t push the issue of getting back together or even bring in up. Instead, see if you can find out what he or she is saying to friends and family. If you hear that he or she is asking about you or shows concern for your well-being, there is a good chance your ex still has some feelings for you. Don’t come right out and ask the question, though. See if you can get it to come up naturally in conversation.

Unless your ex is going through some sort of 12-step program or they are being reborn in some way, if he or she is apologetic about something they did during the relationship, chances are that it is a good sign that there are still feelings for you involved. Not only does this show that regret, it also shows that they are trying to make some positive changes.

Having some confirmation of residual feelings from an ex can help with healing and offer hope. If you want another chance with an ex, take your time, pay attention to the signs and listen if he or she wants to talk. Don’t push the issue and eventually the opportunity to rekindle the relationship should present itself.

Pay Close Attention Here-

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you’ll discover a stunning trick which will have your ex begging you to take them back. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will make your ex crawl back to you within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything here before it’s too late and time runs out.

You just know that the only thing that will mend your broken heart is if you can get your ex back. The only thing is you were so angry with each other when you broke up, that you are too afraid to contact your ex. How do you know if your ex still loves you? Is there still a chance that you can get back together again?

Well first of all you were angry with each other because you probably said really nasty things to each other, and secondly, it’s a good thing that you don’t make any contact with your ex at all right now. Carry on with your life as you normally would – get back into that hobby of yours, go out with your friends, and spend time with your family.

How do you know if your ex still loves you? There are signs out there that will show you whether your ex still has feelings for you, and you’ll recognize them on and off each day.

While you’re out having fun with your friends, and your ex pitches up, check to see if he/she is alone or with someone else. If your ex is alone, then it could be that your ex made a point of being in the same place as you are. Take note and see if this happens on a regular basis. If it does, then it is not coincidence that your ex is there all the time – he/she knows where you’ll be at any given moment and makes sure to be there at the same time as you.

Another thing, keep your ears open and listen to what your friends are saying – they might mention things that your ex is saying about you. The things you hear will tell you whether the signs are positive or not. How do you know if your ex still loves you? Read the signs – they’re all there, and then make a decision.

Since the split, you’ve had the desire to get a hold of your ex, in any manner possible, and do whatever it takes to work out the problems that caused them to leave you. But before you reach for that phone, stop, and think about what you are doing for a minute. When you want to make your ex fall for you again, it is important that you do not act rashly, and that you use your head.

It isn’t advised to contact him or her right after a split anyway – breakups are nasty occurrences, and the things that are said, while in the heat of passion and anger, are still very hurtful nonetheless – emotions are too tense and the level of anger between the two of you is still too high. The best thing you can do when you want to make your ex fall for you again is to keep your distance for awhile.

During this time apart, it is helpful to take a good hard look back on your relationship to determine where things started to go wrong. You have to know what it is you have to fix before you can fix it. And if your relationship ended in a split, obviously something was awry. You cannot reconcile if you are just going to make the same mistakes all over again. Take your blame where it is due, and work on fixing the problems.

Take this time to take a look in the mirror and get back in shape or get a makeover if you’ve let yourself go a little bit since the split. Hook up with your friends and have a great time. Make sure that you are good company to your friends and make sure to have a blast. Without doing anything directly, you are setting things in motion to make your ex fall for you again.

He or she will hear, through mutual friends, about how good you look and how much fun you are having in your single life. This will most certainly get the attention of your ex, as it may make them feel as though there is a chance that you could be moving on. They are going to miss you and want to be in our life once again, and will do what they need to do to make that happen.

Do you want to get back with your ex? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will have your ex asking you to get back together. This is a plan you do not want to pass by.

Is getting back together with an ex a good idea? You find yourself wishing that you can get back with your ex after a breakup. You were alone and vulnerable and you just want to be with your ex again. Now your ex is here and they are willing to give it another shot

Getting back together with an ex may or may not be a good idea. Sometimes it depends on the reason of the breakup or whether or not it really is meant to be.

Why you should get back together with an ex.

· The two of you are back together and the things you shared will be back together once more. It’s possible that this renewal will bring greater things or be better than before.

· After all the heartbreak you’ve endured, it feels wonderful to get back together.

· You already know each other so you don’t have to start from scratch getting to know each other. Unlike in new relationships, you need to make good impressions and it takes a while to get to know each other.

· The make-up sex is great! Those who have been in this position would agree

· Everyone deserves a second chance and you’ll be putting yourself up to more disappointment if you’re searching for perfection

· You and your ex knew what it felt like to lose each other so you’ll try harder the second time around.

· You might end up regretting not getting back together and your ex will become “the one that got away”

What can you do to get your ex back? Is it possible to make your ex miss you like crazy?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to get your ex back, simply click here!

However, there are times when rebuilding a broken relationship is not the best idea.

· Sometimes it would never be what it used to be. Breakups happen for a reason and sometimes it’s just not meant to be anymore. The magic is gone and there’s no reason to get back together.

· You may have forgiven your ex but at the back of your mind, a tiny voice is warning you that they could hurt you again. They did it once and you couldn’t help feeling afraid that you would make the same mistake again.

· If you got back together for the wrong reasons, then you will end up breaking up again. Feeling lonely or being scared that you may not find anyone to love you are not good reasons to get back with your ex.

· Fights and arguments between the two of you may be worse since you’ve broken up. That’s because you would end up wondering and reconsidering if getting back together was the right idea. You may think that staying separated might have been the best option after all.

· You learn from each new relationship because meeting new people allows you to grow. There’s no room to grow if you get back with your ex. If this person is not the one for you and you just got back together because you’re tired of looking, then you may never know if there is someone better for you.

If getting back together with an ex is what you really want, then you and your ex need to discuss all the changes that needed to be done as a couple. You must be open with each other because if you’re not willing to make changes, then you’ll be breaking up again.

Timing is critical when getting your ex back. Ex partners often consider a rebound relationship or just casual sex to get over you. You need to act right now. What you need is a complete, step-by-step system to take your hand and show you exactly what to do next to get your ex back in 30 days or less.

 

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Tales of Rock – Right Said Fred Turned Out … Kind Of Awesome?

Thanks to any movie or TV show that has ever had a makeover scene, Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” will never die.

Even Taylor Swift sampled it. That song alone could have kept sibling duo Fred and Richard Fairbrass in fishnet shirts for decades to come, but they weren’t done. The host of the BBC’s Gaytime TV (yep) in the ’90s, Richard has long been a prominent member of the UK LGBT scene, but something happened in 2007 that convinced him he needed to become a political powerhouse. Shortly after announcing his intention to run for mayor of London, he set out for Moscow to attend a gay rights march, where he was brutally assaulted by counter-protesters. Far from being discouraged, Fairbrass went right home and marched some more.

Right Said Fred reached the height of political disco (which they almost certainly invented) when it was reported that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad had downloaded some of their songs from iTunes. They responded with a full-on diss track against Assad, brazenly singing that he was “too awful for this earth,” and a war criminal who should be tried for his offenses.

It turned out the one thing they weren’t too sexy for was justice.

 

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10 Things The Right Guy Will Never Make You Wonder About

True love talks for itself.. but when it isn’t, it lefts us wondering of its authenticity all the time.  With the right guy around you will never have to question his feelings

Communication is the key to any strong relationship. Communication is how we let others know how much they mean to us.

Since we  all communicate our love differently, it’s important to keep a loose grip on the definition of communication itself, but one thing will remain certain:

If a man truly loves you, you will know it and feel it. If he doesn’t, you will be left wondering all the time if he does.

Here are 10 things the right man will never make you wonder about.

1. Whether or not he respects you.

Love is a product of respect. We cannot love someone we don’t have respect for. Respect for their opinions, respect for their feelings, respect for their wants and needs.

A man who loves and cares for you will always consider you when making decisions that affect you both. He will ask for your opinions. He will treat you as an extension of himself – because that’s what you are in a relationship.

 

2. Whether or not he thinks you’re beautiful.

Finding someone beautiful is not just about physical attraction. The truth is that when you love someone for who they truly are, everything about them becomes beautiful.

No man should let the woman in his life wonder if he is attracted to her – well-placed compliments and paying attention to small details do wonders.

 

3. Whether or not he appreciates you.

There should absolutely be no gap in time where you feel unappreciated by your partner.

It is understandable that life gets crazy and stressful, and often times we lose sight of someone else’s feelings if we are caught up in our hectic day-to-day routine, but this is why it is so important to be willing to put effort into your relationship.

No matter how busy or stressed out a man is, when he comes home to you at night, it is important that he puts in the conscious effort to make sure you know he appreciates everything you do for him.

 

4. Whether or not you are worth the effort.

You are worth every single ounce of effort a man has in his heart to give to you and your relationship. The right man will never make you question that.

 

5. Whether or not he envisions a future with you.

When a man is serious about you, he will have no problem making plans together for the future.

Whether it is an upcoming holiday or a vacation next summer, his willingness to use “we” when talking about it is a clear sign that when he pictures a more mature version of himself, he is also picturing you there by his side.

 

6. Whether or not he supports you.

When a man commits his love and his time to a woman, there are no stipulations or circumstances required. There will be good times and there will be not-so-good times.

There will be challenges and unexpected situations that arise. But he will stay by your side and be your teammate through it all.

Of course, there is an asterisk on this. This does not mean you can disrespect him, lie, or cheat. It does not mean you can betray his trust and expect him to stick around because he promised to commit to you.

This point is about things the two of you go through together and him having the integrity needed to not walk away when times get hard.

Any man can be by your side on the sunny days. The real test of character is whether or not he will hold the umbrella over you during the stormy days.

 

7. Whether or not you can open up to him.

Comfort in a relationship (the good kind, not the kind that makes you stop trying) comes from the ability to be open and honest with your partner – and the ability to do this comes from knowing you will never be judged.

A good man will encourage you to open up and share your feelings with him. There should never be any fear of him flying off the handle or overreacting if you share something with him.

This means being able to be the most genuine, uncensored version of yourself around him.

 

8. Whether or not he is dedicated to improving himself.

Whether it be learning new things, developing a new skill set, reading a new book or watching a documentary – a good man who prides himself on continuous self improvement will always be intellectually challenging you and keeping your attention.

He will be doing these things for himself, but the added benefit will be the positive impact it has on your relationship.

 

9. Whether or not you are safe around him.

I have always said that I believe one of the best compliments a woman can give a man is telling him that she feels safe around him.

Regardless of how attracted she is to you or how funny she thinks you are or how much money you have – if a woman cannot sleep soundly by your side at night, none of it matters.

 

10. Whether or not he is committed to loving you.

Love is not a passive emotion. It is not just something that bursts into our hearts like fireworks only to dissipate as quickly as it arrived. Love is a choice.

It is a conscious effort to look past differences, to embrace how your partner can improve you, to embrace what they can teach you about life – and what you can teach to them in return. Love is not something you ‘fall’ into, it is something you rise into.

It is something you rise into together, converging and combining your paths when you meet, and continuing on one single road of life together from that point on.

That road will have speed bumps, and potholes, and unexpected obstacles. It may not be the road you envisioned yourself going down – but you can take solace in the fact that it is the only road you would ever want to be on, because the person you love is on it next to you.

The right man will never make you worry that he might take the next exit and leave you traveling alone – because he has committed to making the choice to love you. Every day.

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Sauced

“This isn’t what rock and roll is all about,”

That night in Hollywood, the band was playing the Roxy, and after sound check I had gone to the bar to play the poker machine. I made a huge mistake and had some bad shellfish earlier,”  The raw fish made my stomach churn and roil. I felt what I was sure was just a substantive fart building up, and I let ‘er rip. Unfortunately, I got more than I bargained for and my bowels voided themselves at that moment. There was at least a solid cup of shit. My stomach rumbled again and my gut expelled another wave of noxious waste. It was everywhere. It was, like, a quart of diarrhea. Soiled, shit-stinking, and sick, I retired to a lounge are upstairs and laid down.

Several hours later, I was back in action, hanging out with some of my band mates  in the venue’s VIP section. But the scene was grim, said bassist Frank: “No talent here; not a looker in the lot.” I grabbed the tour manager and headed to the bar next door, where I was soon approached by an enthused fan. “I think she’s half-Mexican, but she’s pretty hot,” he says.

“Yo, I know you’re in one of the bands,” the girl proposed. “I’ll do anything if you get me into the show.”

Now, you might think you know exactly what happened next, but if you’re picturing a sordid, back-room exchange, you’d only be half-right. I handed the girl “a shot of insanity hot sauce,” which she put down without issue. Then she took another. I escorted her backstage to the VIP section and went back upstairs to watch TV, while the girl proceeded to attack with gusto the green room’s generously stocked open bar.

Two hours later, between sets and I run into hot-sauce girl.

“This is the guy who got me in!” she screamed, hammered after a go at the open bar.

She threw her arms around me and shoved her tongue into my mouth. We weren’t really making out, more like she was molesting me. She was sloppy, but that was hardly a deterrent. Wanting privacy, I took the girl through the back of the venue to a quiet area, pulled open a door, and stepped into a small room. Even playing rough house rock and roll, making out with some drunk ass slapper in the middle of the VIP area is frowned upon.

I realize we’re in the trash room.  We’re literally surrounded by gargantuan piles of trash, heaped high and probably smelling like the contents of my underwear earlier that night. (I had cleaned myself up and had changed by then and was feeling much better) Things started getting hot and heavy between us, and suddenly, the girl stopped the action to make a request. “I’m on the rag right now,” she said, before asking me to place myself someplace fairly uncomfortable. She asked me to fuck her in the ass.

That was the first time I had ever done that. I was a little concerned about the two shots of hot sauce I had given her earlier circling back and burning my little German knockwurst.

I think she was from Puerto Rico.

 

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14 Women Describe the Moment They Knew They Were Bisexual

Bisexuality isn’t an exact science. The experience for one individual may look very different than the experience of another. So what exactly does it mean to be bisexual? According to the Human Rights Campaign, a bisexual person is someone who can be attracted to more than one gender.

However, while some people who are attracted to multiple genders may identify as bisexual, others may instead identify as pansexual, queer, fluid, or not label themselves at all.

“It’s really different for everyone,” says LGBTQ expert Kryss Shane, LMSW. “Some people who identify as bisexual might have always been romantically or sexually attracted to people of multiple genders; Some people who identify as bisexual maybe prefer pornography or in-real-life sexual encounters with people of multiple genders.”

To be clear though, there’s no sort of checklist that can determine whether or not you’re bisexual. But to help, here are 14 women’s stories on the moment they knew they were bisexual and how they embraced their identity.

1. “I knew I was bisexual when I was 15. I had curious thoughts about women for years, but thought it was just me wanting to be friends with them. When I was younger though, I was a big Glee fan, and that show introduced a lot of female relationships that I hadn’t seen before. I think just being exposed to those really popular pairings made me realize that I wanted what I was seeing, but was also still equally boy-crazy. Once I realized I wanted a dog and a picket white fence with a girl, that’s when I really knew I was truly bisexual.” —Michelle O., 23.

2. “At 24, I met a girl and found myself not only fantasizing about kissing her, but actually dating her too. You know, like waking up with her in the morning, cuddling on the sofa, etc. I remember standing and looking at her talking to a friend when I realized that I would not make an exception for her, I was just bisexual.” —Christin H., 33.

3. “I was probably 12 when I realized I had feelings for both men and women. However, I didn’t understand what that feeling was. I was always very intimidated by other girls in my grade, and I never understood why—but looking back, it was definitely because I was attracted to them and shoved that to the side. My senior year of college though, I was crushing hard on one of my friends and it was very apparent to me what that actually meant.” —Laurel F., 24

4. “I don’t know if there was a specific moment… it was more a short period of time in which I realized I had my first crush on a girl—but in a way that I thought was normal until I understood not all people felt that way.” —Lauren R., 21

5. “I identified as straight until I was 29. There was one summer when I developed a crush on three women, and one of them ended up being my first girlfriend. We dated for three years. I didn’t really label my sexuality at that point, but knew I wasn’t straight anymore. After that relationship, I dated somebody who was trans and non-binary, so I started learning more about bisexuality and started to embrace that I’m attracted to people of many genders.” —Cally I, 35

6. “I realized at probably 13 that I might like girls when my best friend at the time got her first boyfriend and I felt so heartbroken and jealous. I always just accepted that I could be attracted to both men and women, and haven’t questioned it since!” —Samantha R., 25

7. “I knew deep down that I was bisexual since puberty, as I was fantasizing about women—even though I had always been attracted to boys from a very early age. So when I got to high school, I started experimenting with girls. Throughout school, I was hazed by other gay friends of mine that insisted I was a lesbian, but I knew I wasn’t. Eventually, I met my now husband. Coming out to him was the hardest thing I have ever done, but the most liberating.” —Becky B., 27

8. “I was 20 or 21 when I came to terms with it. I was on a bus and a hot girl came on and I thought, ‘I’m probably gay, that’s it.’ Then a hot guy came on and I was like, ‘Woah, pretty sure lesbians are not this attracted to men.’ So then came the light bulb moment where I realized I was bi and there was no explanation needed.” —Lorenna L., 23

9. “I always had boyfriends when I was younger, but I think that was because I knew that’s what girls were supposed to do. I’ve definitely always liked men and women, but I didn’t realize my feelings toward women until my friends bought me a Paris Hilton CD and when I saw her on the cover, I was like, ‘Oh, shit, I like girls too.'” —Laura C., 23

10. “I went to an all girl’s school and in 8th grade, I was standing in line behind one of my best friends for a Halloween haunted house. She was dressed as Michael Jackson in a white dress shirt and black pants. I felt incredibly attracted to her and realized in that moment I liked girls as much as guys.” —Jayne S., 33

11. “I fell in love with a woman at 18, but I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea that all my dating relationships up to that point were merely compulsory. Realizing that neither the straight, nor the gay/lesbian labels fit me was my first experience as a member of a marginalized group. Then, I joined a community for bisexual women and the group shaped me personally and professionally. My first marriage was to a man and my second and now current marriage is with a woman.” —Alison B., 45

12. “There wasn’t one specific moment when I realized I was bisexual, but I think I realized it when I was 17. I had been dating this guy, but I found myself clinging to his best friend. She and I would make out occasionally, but I told myself it was just to get the attention of guys around us. Eventually, I realized I had a crush on her. When I look back at that moment, I felt relief. I finally had a word to describe the way I adored other women when I was younger.” —Abbey B., 22

13. “There were hints throughout my life—my love the The L Word, my involvement in gay rights, the way I couldn’t keep my eyes to myself when I was at the beach and girls were in bikinis. I was finally able to admit to myself when I went to a strip club and sat at the rack and was like, ‘Yup, I’m bi.’ I made an OkCupid profile shortly after and then started coming out to my friends and family.” —Tabby T., 30

14. “I first knew I was bisexual when I was 17. I was supposed to visit my friend at her house on the weekend and she called me to tell me who was going. She told me her twin sister was bringing her girlfriend, but I was a little surprised to know she had a girlfriend. I asked my friend about it because I had always known her sister to be the ‘boy crazy’ type, and she nonchalantly said her sister was bisexual. I thought about the conversation all week and realized that was the word I had been looking for my whole life.” —Sam G., 21

 

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Lovely Lauren – The Most Beautiful Bartender I Ever Met – Part 3 – The Interview

Phicklephilly: What’s your favorite movie?

 

Lauren: Almost Famous.

 

Phicklephilly: Good one. Have you created any signature drinks at Stratus?

 

Lauren: Yes. i brought a grapefruit gin fizz to stratus. I love to make it for our clients. It’s deliciocious.  You should let me make you one, Charles.

 

Phicklephilly: Let’s make that happen, Lauren.

 

Lauren: Sounds good, Charles. (smiles)

 

Phicklephilly: What brought you to Stratus, Lauren?

 

Lauren: I was working at another venue and someone scouted me on Facebook and they hire me.

 

Phicklephilly: You had mentioned Nursing in our initial meetings.

 

Lauren: I’m not going there.

Phicklephilly: Let’s quickly and deftly switch gears here, dear. What are your thoughts on the world of mixology?

 

Lauren: I’ve never referred to myself as a mixologist, not that I don’t get creative behind the bar. There are so many aspects…. technical, personality, and creativity. When I think of the word mixology i just think of mixing drinks. I’m a bartender and being a mixologist is only a small part of what I do on a daily basis.

 

Phicklephilly: Which do you prefer?

 

Lauren: Bartender for sure.

 

Phicklephilly: How has the job changed since you began, Lauren?

Lauren: When I first started there were new technical things I had to learn. But now I can focus on the more creative and elegant aspects of my job.

 

Phicklephilly: How have you changed since you started?

 

Lauren: Oh, I was really naive at first. I definitely never realized that it’ a whole show. I was always affable but every part of the job i a performanance. The more I do it the more I see it as a career. I’ve met so many people that are on so many levels of the industry.

 

Phicklephilly: What do you see trending now in the way of drinking?

 

Lauren: Oh my gosh….Fireball! We don’t serve it but the kids love it!

 

Phicklephilly: Best customer?

 

Lauren: Best is on a Friday night. They know what they want, the money is out and we make it happen. Weekdays… social… try new drinks. I love a client that wants to try new things!

Phicklephilly: Worst?

 

Lauren: Someone snapping in my face: “what’s your cheapest and strongest drink?”

 

Phicklephilly: Ooh brutal. What’s the bst tip  you ever got?

 

Lauren: I was bartendeing with another employee and she didn’t want the table. It was outside on the deck and I took it. It was was my first ever. The bill was $50 and the tip was $300!!!

 

Phicklephilly: Have you served any celebrities?

 

Lauren: Yes. Several athletes. I don’t remember their names. I once served Lynyrd Skynyrd and Bad Company at Stratus.

 

Phicklephilly: Nice! Where can we find you on the other side of the rail?

Lauren: Morgan’s Pier down on the river. Outdoor, sunny skies and by the water. Very chill and a fun place to be in the summer. I also like North Shore Beach. Again, it’s a low key bar with a pool in the city where I can chill and relax.

 

Phicklephilly: What’s your favorite color?

 

Lauren: Purple. I’ve always felt purple, but when it comes to clothes, I love the color black.

Phicklephilly: Black is slimmimg, not that you need it.

 

Lauren. You’re funny.

 

Phicklephilly: Who is your favorite actor/actress?

 

Lauren: No idea, but again, Lucille Ball.

 

Phicklephilly: She is and was amazing. The first of her kind. What’s your favorite beer, wine and cocktail?

Lauren: Victory Summer Love, Yards Saison, and Savignion Blanc. It’s so light and refreshing!

 

Phicklephilly: I LOVE Victory Summer Love in Spring and Summer too!”

 

Lauren: It’s SO good!

 

Phicklephilly: Do you consider yourself a salesperson at Stratus?

 

Lauren: I would consider myself an honest person. I will stand behind something I truly feel is great. If you don’t like what I made for you, I’ll make you something else.

 

Phicklephilly: What’s your favorite food?

 

Lauren: Sushi. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

 

Phicklephilly: Have you ever had to memorize a load of drinks?

 

Lauren: Every night, Charles.

 

Phicklephilly: What is the most stressful… worst job you’ve ever had?

Lauren: Working at a nightclub where I had keys and it was just a crazy scene. (I should have gone deeper here)

 

Phicklephilly: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

 

Lauren: Hopefully with a college degree and in a career I’m passionate about.

 

Phicklephilly: Who is your role model?

 

Lauren: Lucille Ball. (Wow… again)

 

Phicklephilly: What’s your super power, Lauren?

 

Lauren: If looks could kill… I have an evil look.

 

Phicklephilly: Okay… I get that.

 

Lauren: What’s yours…? (giggles)

 

Phicklephilly: Turning alcohol into regret.

 

lauren: Ha ha ha You are killing me, Charles!

 

Phicklephily: It’swhat I do, dear. What’s your spirit animal?

 

Lauren: Definitely a dog. I love to cuddle but I still have the power to bite your head off.

 

Phicklephilly: Noted… What’s your dream destination?

 

Lauren: New Zealand!

 

Charles: Is there other life in the universe?

 

Lauren: If it’s happening here on earth, I feel that it must be happening somewhere else too.

 

Phicklephilly: How lucky are you, and why?

 

Lauren: I feel extremely lucky andhave gotten opportunities that people have been kind enough to grant me. I am very grateful. I feel very fortunate, Charles.

 

Phicklephilly: Are you a hunter or a gatherer?

 

Lauren: A gatherer. (I should have expanded on this one too)

 

Phicklephilly: Desert Island. You can only bring 3 things. What do you do?

 

Lauren: I would have to bring my friend Liza who I’ve known forever. She works for NASA. Jiro from Jiro dreams of sushi so he could make me the best sushi. Oh and lots of razors…. because I hate being hairy. (Again… I should have delved deeper here)

 

PhicklephillY: Do you like cereal? If you were a box of cereal, what would you be, Lauren?

 

Lauren: Honey Bunch of Oats! Because you get so many flavors in one box. So many variations, and when you get to the root of it… that’s me.

 

Phicklephilly: Best human trait?

 

Lauren: The will to survive. (Could have done so much better on this one)

 

Phicklephilly:  You’re the new addition to the crayon box. What color are you?

 

Lauren: Oh course, purple, Charles. You asked me that already. ha ha

 

Phicklephilly: Movie about you. Who plays you, and why?

 

Lauren: Oh, Lindsay Lohan. Have you seen Georgia Rule?

 

Phicklephilly: ha ha okay… yes.  What’s the funniest thing that happened to you lately?

 

Lauren: Yea… I went to a musical festival. I ended up in lying in a blow up baby pool full of stuffed animals. No water, dude.

 

Phicklephilly: hahhah ha that’s insane. have you ever been on a boat?

 

Lauren: Yes! I went kayaking last week. It was one of the most fun days of my life!

 

And it ends there…. I think I could have gone so much deeper, but it was her first and my first interview. It was never published so it go buried. But I believed that it was always good and she was a lovely girl so I’m very pleased to immortalize Lauren forever here on Phicklephilly.

I think she’s married and lives in New York now.

Lucky guy!

 

What a lovely girl!

 

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Another Life – Chapter 34

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=447

 

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The Truth About Getting A Date

You don’t attract what you want. You attract who you are.

Are you failing to get your perfect date?

Most guys have it backwards.

They think that when they get a girlfriend, they will finally be happy.

Sorry to piss on your cornflakes but that’s not how it works.

If only someone explained this to me back in the day, I would’ve had less frustrations in my dating life.

To prove my point, let me ask you a question.

Have you ever met someone who became very “busy” after going on a few dates with you?

This happened to me A LOT and I couldn’t figure out why.Insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result.

So I took a step back to asses what’s going on.

Let me share with you what I discovered.

When a woman meets you for the first time, she’s assessing subconsciously what type of life she’s gonna have with you.

Is it going to be exciting and spontaneous OR is it going to be lame and predictable?

It’s a bit of a tough pill to swallow, isn’t it?

Here’s the ugly truth about getting a girlfriend. You may not like it but I’ll tell you anyway.

You don’t attract what you want. You attract who you are. The moment you’re happy on your own is when the right relationship enters your life. I know this from experience.

Back in the day, I had nothing going for me. I had no hobbies, was out of shape and barely had friends.

Whenever I’d meet a girl, I would be OBSESSED with them. My sense of self-worth was based on whether they like me or not. Of course, none of them would want to go out with me.

Looking back now, I really couldn’t blame them. Who would want to date someone who lived such a boring life?

That’s when I took a break from dating and decided to focus on myself.

I started going to the gym, reading interesting books and taking up new hobbies. Overtime, I started to really like my own company. I valued my opinion more and did more things that I enjoyed.

And then something strange happened. Women were suddenly more interested in me.

If I go on a bad date or someone didn’t text me back right away, I was less reactive. I knew that I had better things to do than worry about something so petty.

Funny how that works, huh?

The better you become as a man, the higher quality relationships you’ll attract in your life. Whoever says otherwise is selling you hype.

 

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Lovely Lauren – The Most Beautiful Bartender I’ve Ever Met – Part 2 – The Interview

I’ve gotten the opportunity to interview the hottest bartender in the city for a publication I worked for back in 2013. The client paid us to be in our publication but our editor rejected it. Said our readers wouldn’t relate.

Lauren was incredibly disappointed. I felt sad that I’d wasted her time and failed her due to another person’s decision.

 

But…. for the first time I finally have the platform to showcase this lovely woman’s images and her words.

 

Here’s her story…

 

Our girl Lauren worked at Pietro’s at the age of 18. She had no experience . She called every day and finally got the job. She trained for two weeks and got the job!

She did some work in an art initiative. She did fashion merchandising for a while but that wasn’t a match. It just didn’t work out.

 

Here I am at the BNY Mellon Center on the 27th floor and lovely Lauren arrives.

She’s wearing a light silky black top. It clings to her breasts as they swing and bounce to welcome the day. What a beauty she is. She’s lovely. Her top pushes her breast forward to welcome her guests.

She’s sweet to me. but I’m the interviewer. My manager hovers about her taking photos..

I like this because I want him to capture this rare bird.

So lovely and simple.

He leaves the room, and I have my first moment with my client. This sweet lady I’ve been dying to interview.

 

Phicklephilly: What do you like most about your profession?

Lauren: I get to go into work everyday and no matter what kind of day my clients are having I can make them their favorite drink. I can even introduce them to a new drink and lift their spirits. I also get to hear so many stories and meet so many interesting people. I get to see a side of them that maybe most people don’t get to see.

 

Phicklephilly: What do you like the least about your job?

 

Lauren: The exact same thing I just told you. The side I see when I feel like I’m babysitting 100 drunk adults.

 

Phicklephilly: How long have you been doing this?

 

Lauren: I’m 22 so I’ve been bartending for 5 years.

 

Phicklephilly: Any heroes?”

 

Lauren: Lucille Ball.

 

Phicklephilly: Good one. She was amazing. What do you like to do in your spare time?”

 

Lauren: I’m a low key person compared to most industry people that are a bunch of drunken idiots. I like good music, laid back time. Morgan’s Pier with friends. I don’t do after hours bars. When I’m off I like a chill time in a low key bar.

 

Phicklephilly: Why should we go to stratus?

 

Luaren: Who doesn’t want to drink an extraordinary cocktail  on a beautiful rooftop bar?

 

Phicklephilly: Good point. What’s your best bar experience?

 

Lauren: I guess my best bar experience has been at Stratus. It was me and two other trainees. Saturday night. I was sure it was going to be a disaster. (Like the scene from the Tom Cruise film, Cocktail) But it turned out to be amazing. But I think the most important day was when we did Spring Awakening. I was working my own station. They pulled me out of my station. I was needed behind the bar. I was slammed, but I knew in that moment I had stepped up to the next level in the bartending scene in Philadelphia.

 

Phicklephilly: Thank you for that, Lauren. That was great and heartfelt answer. What was your worst experience?

 

Lauren: My first night bartending a guy came in and started chatting to me. He’s talking about his wife, and family and it all seemed normal. Then at some point during the night he passed me a piece of paper. It was a not about terms of him taking care of me financially if I took care of him.

 

Phicklephilly: How did that make you feel?

 

Lauren: I excused myself and went into the walk in (freezer) and cried. Today I would have dealt with it differently. But I was 18. Today I would have laughed in his face and tossed the note back in his face.

 

Phicklephilly: Well done, Lauren. Sadly, any other horror stories. I’m sure the readers will love it.

 

Lauren: Ummm… wait, there wa this one lady that woud come in on a regular basis. She would order a few drinks and some food. I would bring out the food and she would cry hysterically  and yell at me and tell me to take it away.  This went on like once or twice a year for years!

 

Phicklephilly: That’ also awful. What happened to her?

 

Lauren: No idea. One day he just stopped coming in. Maybe she died. lol.

 

Phicklephilly” What’s your favorite sports team?

 

Lauren: The Flyers!

 

Phicklephilly: Cool. What’s your poison and your end of shift drink?

 

Lauren: I’m a typical vodka and tonic or soda girl. I have a weakness for margaritas though, but my favorite end of shift drink is a huge bottle of water!

 

Phicklephilly: What’s your favorite food and your most hated food?

 

Lauren: I love sushi and hate tuna fish from a can. I’m a pescitarian but that’s the two.

 

Phicklephilly: What about music, Lauren?

 

Lauren: A lot. I like Phish. But I also like weird funky dance music to jam bands. I also like Alternative. You won’t see me listening to top 40. Music is a huge part of my life. You’ll never see me at Made in America, but at more low key festivals. I like Jam on the River.

 

To be continued….

 

 

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The 6 Real Reasons Men Usually Leave Women

It’s not what you think.

When partners are in agreement that they both want to move on, those endings are just part of life, and both people are willing to try again with someone else. It’s different when the decision is one-sided. If only one partner wants the relationship to continue, while the other is ready to end it, the person left behind is often left struggling to learn how to deal with a breakup and get over their heartbreak, while the other must bear the guilt of leaving.

Most people who leave a relationship are ready to move on. But some, after time passes, begin to regret their decision.

Once they have put the negative aspects of that past relationship behind, they begin to miss the good times. Haunted by having left someone they perhaps truly loved, they wonder if they should have tried harder to make the relationship work, and begin to search for that lost love.

They may find that their past partners are no longer available, and so they’ve missed their chance. But sometimes they find out that a past love is unattached, and the possibility that they might have another chance awakens a compelling desire to try again. Even if their feelings may no longer be reciprocated, they cannot walk away without finding out.

Partners who want to reconnect with an old love they’ve once left must make certain they understand what went wrong between them. Knowing whether their own characteristic behaviors were the problem can make the difference between succeeding or failing the second time around.

Over the years, I have made note of the most common reasons why he left you and abandoned your relationship prematurely.

1. He has a fear of commitment.

The fear of commitment is one of the most common reasons people cite for leaving relationships. Those partners have difficulty understanding the difference between commitment and entrapment. They often feel pressure to make promises they may not be able to keep, especially on the other end of someone who is ready for a long-term relationship.

If one partner feels that the other wants a commitment and isn’t ready, he or she will sense that desire as a potential trap. Feeling locked into a relationship that might lose its allure feels too scary.

When a relationship no longer has new discoveries to experience, has continual conflict, or loses its attraction, most people pull back their energy and resources. The fear of commitment will logically become a fear of entrapment when relationships stop evolving and regenerating.

People who see commitment as entrapment may not be able to imagine a long-term relationship that doesn’t feel potentially confining or obligated. If they go back to a relationship they once left behind, they must redefine and resolve that fear, or the same behavior will likely recur.

2. He lacks the readiness for a long-term relationship.

Many people feel unable to stay in a permanent relationship because they don’t feel wise or experienced enough to promise a future they cannot foresee. They don’t know themselves deeply enough to predict what they might want someday and are not ready to stop exploring other alternatives that might be better.

This inability and unwillingness to foresee what might happen is natural in young adults, but older people can also feel unable to predict who they might yet become. It is not wrong or necessarily immature to opt for pleasure, to choose a life of continuing adventure, to embrace constant new discoveries, or to enjoy novel situations.

There are quality people who should never be in a long-term relationship. Though those intertwinements offer security, shared memories, and mutual dreams for the future, they require that both partners maintain their devotion and continue to regenerate their love.

When people want that security but cannot give up their freedom, they must ultimately make a choice. They may leave relationships that feel wonderfully satisfying but anticipate they will need to move on someday.

3. He wishes to go back to an unfinished relationship.

It is totally possible to love more than one person at a time. Many people leave relationships, even though they still have strong feelings for the other person, to recommit to a new partner. They rationalize leaving because there were just too many problems, or they felt unfulfilled.

After time elapses, the partner in a new relationship begins to face a new set of problems. He or she begins to remember the magical moments of their past love.

Negatively comparing the present relationship to the one that’s gone, memories pervade consciousness, and the present relationship dims in importance. The desire to go back to the old love intensifies, and the present relationship becomes a casualty.

4. He doesn’t have faith in successful long-term relationships.

Childhood experiences compounded with sequential adult interactions heavily impact the trust anyone has in whether a long-term, quality relationship is even possible. Many people, for example, have parents who failed to stay together, often through disastrous interactions and painful outcomes.

When people allow their past experiences to determine their future options, they will love the romantic phases of new relationships but become easily discouraged when the lust/discovery/honeymoon period wears off. Instead of energetically embracing that next emerging state of deeper friendship and commitment, they begin to focus on what isn’t going right.

People become what they anticipate and get better at those choices as they practice. If they are looking for problems, they will find them and assume they are unfixable. Their basic, underlying unconscious mind tells them continuously that all relationships are eventually doomed, and they begin to make that a self-fulfilling prophecy.

To make an old relationship work, those naysayers must change their ways of thinking by understanding where their attitudes came from and how those limitations have affected the outcomes of their relationships. Otherwise, going back to lost loves after breakups will not work any better than it did the first time.

5. He prefers to choose easy over challenging.

Long-lasting, successful relationships take work, and the partners within them don’t shirk that commitment. They know that their continuing regeneration is absolutely dependent on continuing to care deeply about each other and the relationship.

When relationship seekers don’t understand that basic principle or aren’t willing to put in the effort, they often pick partners who don’t ask much of them. The relationship doesn’t need much but also doesn’t offer much in the long run.

Boredom is often the result of a too easy, too predictable relationship, which may be why he left you. All human beings seek security, but also need novelty and challenge to be at their best. When relationship seekers opt for easy, they risk becoming involved in a relationship that will cease to hold their attention.

As boredom increases, many partners will seek novelty and excitement outside the relationship. The couple begins to spend less time and energy on the relationship, and the distance between them increases.

6. He lacks the skills to transform romantic feelings to deeper love.

When love is new, it is often spectacularly intense and magically seductive. New lovers are spellbound — enraptured and captured by the experience of each other. Both put their best feet forward, keep their liabilities hidden, and devote themselves selflessly to the needs and desires of their new partners. They willingly put all other involvements on the back burner, offering all of their resources first to each other.

People who have not learned the skills to transform their romantic feelings into deep love and conviction come to a halt when the love/lust part of the relationship naturally wanes. They have had either the unrealistic expectation that those feelings should always be there throughout the length of a relationship, or have never known the wonder of deeper love.

When they are no longer enamored and caught up in the seductive process of new connection, they fear that they will never experience those feelings again.

Before anyone tries to go back to a prior love, they must look deeply into their own reasons for why they chose to leave before.

Do they pick the same kind of partners that will never work, no matter how hard they try? Do they feel that any permanent decision in their lives is doomed to end in entrapment? Are they just not long-term relationship material? Do they always regret their past decisions? Do they have faith that any long-term relationship will work? Do they pick people who don’t challenge them, so they don’t have to think about long-term decisions? Have they never learned the skills to transform new love into mutually committed treasuring?

There are re-connections that do work, and beautifully, but those are the exceptions, not the rule. The chances of success are much greater if people know why they left, have changed their behaviors, have learned the skills to do it better the next time around, and have a willing partner at their side.

When a person is ready to do those things and has a welcoming, accepting partner, I have personally observed the heart-warming sweetness of these rekindled loves.

Randi Gunther is a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor. Her free relationship advice e-newsletter, Heroic Love, shows you how to avoid the common pitfalls that cause marriage problems, breakups, and divorce.

 

 

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