Jessica – Cruise Missile

Met a girl through a friend, she asked me out. We go on a date where we quickly figure out we have NOTHING in common, and for most of the date she seems annoyed at pretty much everything I say. I write it off. Two days later, she calls me up and says, “Hey, let’s meet up, I know a good bar near your place.”

Confused, because I really thought we had zero chemistry, I decide to go.

Same thing, no chemistry at all. She clearly doesn’t like me and seems to be doing a very bad job of hiding it. She does order me lots of drinks though. She wants to come back to my place, but even through my drunken haze, I think better of it and say no.

Spider-sense was definitely tingling that night.

So a couple of days after that, she calls me again, and says “Let’s go for a walk and get lunch.” She’s hot, and I’m still kicking myself for saying no to apparently getting hate fucked the other night, so I decide to see what’s up. We’re walking through this park, and I just come out with it, “Jessica, you clearly don’t like me, why do you keep calling me to hang out?”

Turns out, she wanted a baby, she wanted a guy who would be willing to give up his paternity rights and let her be a single mother, and she thought I came from good genetic stock. For real, here are some snippets of the conversation that I can remember:

Her: For example, you have a good sense of humor.

Me: You hate my sense of humor.

Her: Yes, but I like that you have one. You seem smart too.

Me: A smart person would never agree to this.

Her: Don’t be mean, I want a baby, what’s wrong with that?

Me: What makes you think I want to be a dad again?

Her: That’s what I’m hoping, that you don’t.

Me: Are you serious?

Her: Yes, I’ll let you do whatever you want, as long as you come inside me without a condom.

Me:…

Her: I’m not kidding. We’ll meet up when I’m ovulating, we fuck a few times, and then if we don’t get lucky, I’ll see you in a month.

Me: [Jaw agape]

Her: What? Most guys would love that idea.

I have never noped the fuck out of a situation with more nope and less fuck before. Stayed far away. I heard through the same friend that introduced me that she was pregnant around a year later, and I saw her around once a few years after that with a little girl. She seemed happy, but not as happy as me for avoiding that drama train wreck.

I didn’t just dodge a bullet.

I think it qualifies for cruise missile status.

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Jessica – Cruise Missile”

  1. Wow. That is radical but I totally believe it. Some women are that cynical and out of touch these days. Good for you not going with it. I’m so idealistic, I can’t even have sex with a man I don’t love anymore. Sort of the opposite end.

  2. Well…that does seem rather complicated. Even if she never reached out of asked for anything, even if it was all drawn out on paper legally binding… who is to say the child would abode by it. Eventually she would want to meet her daddy. Awkward! Short sighted.

    But as a single mom I also kind of get it. If she could well afford the child and had a decent support network of her own without needing a partners help. Say if she knew she was bad at picking mates then it may. W the best logical choice for having her own child. Adoption may not have been possible or wanted. Who knows. It begets more questions IMO…but you’re ultimately right. You probably avoided some future drama there.

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