100 Get-To-Know-You Questions to Ask Your Partner When You’re Craving Intimacy

Sometimes, you need some new subjects to explore.

If you want to deepen intimacy and improve communication skills in your relationship, asking some get-to-know-you questions can be a great idea.

At the beginning of a relationship, you’re not usually lacking for things to talk about.

You don’t need a list conversation topics to talk about with your boyfriend, but as time passes, it seems like you’ve learned all there is to know about one another.

Periods of silence can be difficult so your communication skills end up dwindling.

Learning about one another builds intimacy between you, especially early on when it makes you feel like you’re clicking — you feel the chemistry — when you ask questions and find common ground. (“You’re a Patriots fan too? I love that you’re into pro football!”)

Of course, as time goes by and you both get to know each other, you might feel like you’ve run out of things to learn.

You might even feel as if your relationship is losing momentum because you can’t have those great, “Oh my gosh, me too!” kinds of conversations anymore.

Guess what? You can still have those conversations!

There is a list of things you can talk about with your boyfriend — good and interesting conversation topics.

As long as you continue to work on maintaining good and effective communication skills with each other, you will never run out of things to talk about.

Some things on this list are for a couple who just met while others are for couples who have known each other for a long time.

But, before you dive in, there are a few cautions you need to be aware of.

First of all, this isn’t a list you print and run through over dinner.

This is a list of conversation suggestions for when you’re together and it seems like a good time to dig a little deeper.

Secondly, some of these questions will bring up areas of his past that can make you jealous.

So, if you’re easily jealous, don’t! He did indeed have a life before you met, he had other girlfriends, and maybe he was even married. That is his past.

You also have a past but now, you’re together. If you ask a question about his past, accept his response without jealousy, envy, or anger, please!

Lastly, if you ask him these questions, be prepared to answer them yourself!

Now, organized into categories, here are 100 get-to-know-you questions and conversation topics to talk about with your partner that will improve communication skills, deepen intimacy, and help deepen your relationship.

Fun things to talk about with your partner

  • What names have been ruined for you because you knew someone you didn’t like who had that name?
  • What boggles your mind whenever you think about it?
  • What’s the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten and regretted?
  • Toilet paper — over or under?
  • If someone challenged you to a dance competition, what song would guarantee your victory?
  • What’s your favorite lame joke?
  • If you had no financial restrictions, what would be one thing you would want to try?
  • What’s the chore you put off the longest?
  • If I waved a magic wand that gave you the ability to fly, where would you go first?
  • If you were an action figure, what would your superpower be and what special tools would be on your belt?
  • Where do you wish you could create a shortcut?
  • If someone offered you whatever car you wanted, what car would you get?
  • Of all the products out there, which one do you think needs to be made better?
  • What event from your past do you wish you could see in a video?
  • If you were crazy rich, what types of crazy or obnoxious things would you do?
  • If you won the lottery, what’s the first thing you would buy?
  • If your diet could only contain five things, what would yours be?
  • Where is the number one place you want to visit?
  • If you found a genie and a lamp, what three wishes would you make?
  • Cats or dogs or both?

Personal things to ask your partner

  • What’s it like to be you?
  • Tell me one brutally honest truth about yourself.
  • When do you feel the most like your true self?
  • If you wrote your story, what would this chapter be called?
  • What makes you more emotional than you’re comfortable with?
  • If I wanted the fast-track to making you angry, what would it be?
  • Tell me what’s on your bucket list.
  • What do you do that makes you the happiest?
  • What do you want people to remember you for when you’re gone?
  • What would your life be like if you lived up to your full potential?
  • What is the one thing in life that just fascinates the heck out of you?
  • Who makes you the most uncomfortable when they’re around?
  • Give me one word that describes you the best.
  • What do you want to get out of life?
  • When you catch yourself procrastinating, what do you do to get past it?
  • Share with me one secret from your past that most people don’t know.
  • If you had one week to live, what would you do with that time?
  • If you could spend one day with someone, living or dead, who would you choose?
  • Do you love or hate animals? Which animal would you want as a pet?
  • How do you react when you don’t get what you want?

Questions about the past to ask your partner

  • What is the most difficult or painful text you’ve ever sent someone?
  • What’s the worst thing you’ve done and hidden from your parents?
  • Tell me about a really awkward moment you had in high school.
  • If you could have a re-do on one decision from your life, what decision would that be and how would you change?
  • Tell me about a time when you just threw caution to the wind and went for it, regardless of the consequences.
  • If you had a recording about your whole life, which hour would you want to go back and watch?
  • What is the most memorable phone call of your life?
  • Tell me about something in your life that changed you for the better.
  • Tell me about something in your life that changed you for the worse.
  • Have you ever purposefully cut someone out of your life? Why?
  • What is your most beautiful memory so far?
  • How different are you from five years ago?
  • Tell me about the riskiest thing you’ve ever done.
  • What is the most memorable vacation you’ve ever taken?
  • What is the story about you that people just love to share?
  • What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid?
  • Who did you idolize when you were a kid?
  • What is the most humiliating moment in your life?
  • When have you felt the most proud of yourself?
  • Who was your favorite band growing up?

Relationship questions to ask your partner

  • What is the best way you can think of to spend a day with a loved one?
  • What would you say is the best and worst thing about having you as a partner?
  • How do you view the role of a wife or a husband?
  • Tell me one thing a person can do to become more attractive (excluding change their appearance).
  • What did you learn about relationships from your parents?
  • Tell me about the couple you know who has the healthiest relationship.
  • Are you willing to go to couples therapy if things derail in a serious relationship?
  • What do you like and dislike most about being in a long-term relationship?
  • Excluding cheating, what is an absolute relationship-ending incident for you?
  • Where have your ideas of the ideal relationship come from?
  • What have you learned from past relationships?
  • How do you think couples should manage when sharing household chores?
  • What things do you think cause most couples to grow apart and split up?
  • How would your exes describe you today if asked?
  • How would you react if you found out we accidentally got pregnant?
  • Are you willing to change diapers? Allllll diapers?
  • City or country?
  • What’s your favorite body part on the opposite sex?
  • What is the craziest thing you’ve done during sex?
  • If we argue and you’re truly in the wrong, will you be able to admit it?

Question to ask your partner about your relationship

  • At what point did you realize you were in love with me?
  • What was it about me that first attracted you to me?
  • The first time you saw me, what did you think?
  • Of all of our dates so far, what’s your favorite?
  • How can I make you feel loved in our relationship?
  • What do I do that drives you crazy, but still makes you smile inside?
  • What is one sexual fantasy you would like to live out?
  • What three things do you see between us that make us such a great couple?
  • Is there something in our sex life that I don’t do but you wish I would?
  • Is there anything I can change to make me a more perfect partner for you?

Questions about your partner’s worldview

  • Who in your life holds onto a belief or theory that has been proven to be wrong? What is that belief and how do they rationalize holding on to it?
  • How do you view money?
  • Is there ever a time to act first and ask for forgiveness later?
  • Who do you find impossible to take seriously?
  • What do you wish someone had taught you so you didn’t have to learn it the hard way?
  • If you could dictate one mandatory class for all school-age kids, what would it be?
  • What do you think has been considered normal by society, but it shouldn’t be?
  • Who do you wish you could be more like?
  • What is your favorite period of history?
  • What do you wish you could stop doing?

Some of these questions will be very revealing and might contain answers that are red flags so beware!

For example, if everything bad that has happened in his life is someone else’s fault, he has a problem accepting responsibility. If he thinks treating people disrespectfully is funny, he’s probably pretty childish and lacks confidence.

If your guy reveals something particularly disturbing about his past, you might want to consider your next move. Your values should be in alignment.

In summary, these 100 get-to-know-you questions are meant to get you thinking about some more topics to explore with your significant other — have fun with them!


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Kita – Chapter 35 – Baby’s Back! – Part 1

It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I was working at the salon as usual. I had just opened the doors for business.

I was coming up the hallway from the back. Morning sunlight is pouring through the huge windows in the front of the salon where the gym’s located.

I see a petite silhouette standing at the front counter. I’m not wearing my glasses so I can’t see clearly the identity of this person. But as I get closer…

“Kita! You’re back! (Hugs) I didn’t think you’d be back until Monday!”

“Yea. My train was at 7am this morning!”

“Well I’m happy you’re back.”

She’s munching on an apple as we chit-chat about our collective holiday experiences. Hers seemed fun with her sister and the family, mine just hanging with friends. Then out of nowhere:

“So I texted Steve.”

Steve is the guy who was her rebound off former boyfriend JR. She hung out with him for a month or so. He never took her on a proper date. They just hung out at his place or she would just sit around and watch him work on his truck. She kissed him but no sex. (So that’s good)

(Sigh) “How’d that go?”

“I told him I still cared about him and he said the same and that maybe we can get together when I get back to Philly.”

“Good luck with that. Don’t reach out to him again. He needs to take the step and pursue you. You’re the prize Kita. Against better judgement you’ve reached out to him again. Now that the connection is there it’s up to him to make the move now and set up a proper date.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“Then he’s really not interested in seeing you again.”

“Okay. He always says he’s really busy with work and things are crazy.”

“People say things like that to get out of stuff, Kita.”

“Why can’t people just be straight forward and say what they want?”

“Because you’re straightforward, forthright and honest and you want everybody else to be like you. It just doesn’t work that way I’m afraid.”

“But that sucks.”

“People suck sometimes.”

“I hate boys.”

“Then date men.”

She looks up at me and grins ever so slightly. I look away.

“Can I have my lotion? I guess I’ll go tanning.”

“That’s what we do here! Where do you want me to send you?”

“Send me…”

“Send you where?”

“Send me to Room Two.”

I set her up in the system and the song “You Send Me” pops into my musical brain. She tosses the apple into the fresh plastic bag that I have just put in to line the waste basket this morning, and heads to her room.

I’m walking past the basket and see there is still plenty of flesh (mesocarp) on that apple. So I pick it up and start eating it. (The bag is clean and there are no other objects in the bag. Just the apple)

I don’t bite into that apple because I’m hungry. I don’t savor every sweet, delicious bite of this discarded piece of fruit because I need to eat more healthy. I don’t eat out of the trash can like a homeless person. I eat that apple because Kita has just had her sweet mouth on it. Her plump, soft lips and tongue have been all over this lucky bit of fruit. I know to some of you this may seem a little gross, but that apple was delicious! It was better in my twisted mind because Kita had her hot mouth all over it. There’s something sexual about the whole, sharing food/biblical/forbidden fruit thing working in my mind. So I ate that apple right down to the seeds and stem. It’s like I was devouring a part of Kita.

Or Kita herself.




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