Today’s “Dear David” comes from a lady named Sara who has run into a common, but confusing situation for women. Let’s see if we can help her out, shall we?
“Dear David, I’ve just started seeing this guy. We’ve both been single for a few years, and it’s so nice having that warm, excited feeling my tummy when I’m with someone. I’m confused though. Last night he told me that he really likes me, and wants to take things further, BUT that he wants to take things slowly. What does that mean?”
What does a man mean when he says he wants to take things slowly?
If I tell you I want to take it slow, it might only mean I want to see you one or two days a week. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be intimate with you. It doesn’t mean I’m going to start seeing other women. It just means I’d like to see where it goes, spend some time to get to know you, and take the time to communicate with you and keep moving forward gradually.
Another guy could say he wants to take it slow, and mean he just wants to see you at the weekend. Another guy could say it and mean he wants to date you, but he doesn’t want to sleep with you yet. Other guys might mean they just don’t want to jump into anything serious like moving in together too quickly.
There’s no one size fits all definition for what “taking it slow” really means.
So if a man says he wants to take it slow, you have every right to ask him what that means to him. Ask him up front. Tell him you’d like to know what it means to him. Let him know you respect him, and that you want to make him feel comfortable so you need to know what he personally expects.
You see, you build relationships on communication. Don’t be afraid to ask men to clarify what they mean. If you don’t you’ll end up speculating about what he wants. You’ll ask your friends about it, or you’ll email me. Taking it slow can mean so many different things you need to ask the source.
We’re so afraid to communicate and ask each other what we mean, and to me, clarification is the key to building any kind of trust in a relationship.
When you ask a man to clarify what he means, you’re setting the foundation for good communication in the relationship. You’re allowing open communication between two people. You’re also allowing two people to get comfortable together, so they feel they can talk about anything. You’re also showing him you’re happy to go at his pace.
I want you to read this again, and I want you to read it slowly. That way the next time a guy says he wants to take it slow, you won’t panic, and you won’t try to guess what he means, you’ll simply ask him. It’s always better to ask directly than try to guess how he’s feeling. Of course, if you want an in-depth understanding of how men think and feel, you should pick up my popular program, “What Men Desire.”
Why does dating seem so hard? How are you supposed to meet and flirt with men? Watch my FREE video, “How to Speak Man” to STOP speculating and START winning his heart!
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