5 Ways to Get Your Ex Back (Without Seeming Too Desperate)

Make him run back into your arms.

If you’re still in love with an old flame, even after a horrible breakup, you may constantly wonder how to get your ex back, make him miss you, and rekindle your relationship after a breakup.

You want to know how to make him miss you enough to call you again. And you want to know how to make him want you back and stay for good, this time.

The constant desire to get him back while obsessing about him, day and night, until you are blue in the face is the worst.

You are more than determined to win him back, even if the heartache pains you from stomaching another slice of pizza or pint of ice cream.

You just want him back so badly, you’ll do anything to breathe and feel free again from your thoughts on repeat.

Getting over an ex you still love is not easy.

You find yourself living under the covers day after day, the minute you walk through the door after work.

Watching mindless shows to distract yourself from entering the dark world seems like the only task you can manage.

Tossing back and forth in the wee hours, you end up staring at the ceiling with your brain running a full marathon in the middle of the night, thinking over and over again, “Will my ex come back?”

As if the emotional suffering wasn’t hard enough, now insomnia is seeping through the cracks.

The birds are beginning to chirp, but you can barely keep an eye open. The thought of facing another day without him is killing you inside.

Tears are running down your rosy cheeks while you keep asking yourself, “Why me?”

Finally, he sends you a text message saying, “Can we talk?”

As much as you want to respond right away, you wait a bit to collect yourself.

You are feeling a huge mix of emotions, but are at a loss for words because you don’t even know what he wants.

It’s been a few weeks of zero contact so you don’t want to mess things up.

If you still want your ex back, even if your breakup left you heartbroken (but still in love with him), here are the 5 things you need to do.

1. Give him space

A man will take his time when it comes to deciding what he wants and needs from a woman in a relationship.

And, unfortunately, sometimes this happens after the breakup when a man sits and thinks about how much value you add to his life.

It’s not that he didn’t appreciate you in the beginning, but men are wired differently.

A man can take much longer to process his emotions, as they possess more masculine energy than feminine.

Hiding their feelings on the sly is pretty common until they feel comfortable expressing them to you.

And when he says he wants to talk but is still on the fence of rekindling the relationship, give him space.

He will wonder why you aren’t pressuring him to get back together which makes him think about you even more.

And the more space you give him, the more he will want to come back on his own terms while thinking it was his idea all along.

But really, you inspired him to make his own decision by giving him a little space that a man craves in a romantic relationship.

Love needs to be free for it to breathe and grow.

2. Focus on your personal growth

A man loves a woman who builds herself up and has a strong sense of independence outside of the relationship.

Being committed to your goals and dreams will make him feel like he can’t live his life without you.

A high-value man will want a woman who works just as hard as he does and is his equal partner.

Being committed to your aspirations is what attracts a man to you.

A lot of men tend to run away from responsibility.

But, it doesn’t have to be this way if you know how to entice him with your witty banter and intrigue him with your feminine energy.

If you come off as a liability and want to be rescued, this will push him further away and out of reach.

The best thing you can do is share stories about your personal growth, like your community involvement or experiences from your bucket list.

He will see how your life is complete with or without him, which draws him in closer to be a part of it.

3. Find what makes him tick

Do you know what makes him weak in the knees? Usually, it’s the little things that make him smile and desire you.

Men are simple human beings, even though they come across quite complex.

He will typically tell you things in passing or random acts of small talk to see if you are listening to him.

If you know what makes him happy, do it. If he likes a homemade meal, then cook for him one night with a candlelight ambiance while playing his favorite songs.

He will love the fact you remembered some of his favorites which will make him feel like you understand him. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to feel special?

If you make him feel good when he’s around you, he will start to miss how being with you was so easy and fun.

And, slowly, he’ll start making his way back into your world.

4. Respect him as an equal partner

Men need respect before they ever fall in love or can stay in love.

By showing him you respect his feelings, his passions, his career, and overall lifestyle, he will be grateful you are treating him like an equal partner.

And the only way to receive respect and love from him is to show him respect first.

A man will not want to be told what to do or criticized for his mistakes over and over again.

This style of communication is bound to make him feel threatened and disrespected because he will feel you are trying to control him.

This may be the very reason as to why you two broke up in the first place.

5. Allow him to lead the connection

A man will need to be the one who pursues you even if you’re the one who pushed him out the door and want him back now.

If you try to take away his power, as a man, he will do the opposite of what you want. He will run for the hills instead of your arms where you want him to be.

Even if you were talking about marriage and kids prior to the split, leave these topics off the table until you redefine the relationship to a healthy stable place.

A man knows you will want to talk about the future, but this will add pressure to the connection and right now you just want him back.

Now that you know how to get him back, be patient and don’t rush the process.

Let things slowly build again, even if you dated for years. You have to take a step back and start freshly dating again until you work out your differences.

Being able to trust the process will give you the will power to hold tight until he’s ready in a respectful manner.

Getting back together with you will not be an overnight decision for him, but the more you are owning your worth and being respectful of his time he will be more inclined to recommit to you as a couple.


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Author: phicklephilly

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4 thoughts on “5 Ways to Get Your Ex Back (Without Seeming Too Desperate)”

  1. Absolutely love the simplicity of this. Sometimes it’s just a nice reminder to see it in such simple terms. I’m currently going through this after trying to work things out after he cheated, and I finally had to cut the cord and say goodbye, but ultimately this is the person I want down the road

    1. I think people who cheat do it for a myriad of reasons. Could be a character flaw, insecurity or simply complacency. The grass is not always greener. Forgiveness is difficult to do but it’s the first step to coming to grips with betrayal. Thank you so much for your comments!

      1. I won hundred percent agree, in this situation I’m dealing with someone obsessed with tons of attention rather than appreciating the right attention. Only time will tell, but I will never rush myself on my feelings and I appreciate your post!

      2. Sounds like insecurity to me. It’s important to protect your heart and make sure you love the person and not the “idea” of what love is…

What are your thoughts on this subject?