10 Clearest Signs He’s Avoiding You and Has Something On His Mind

Looking for signs about anything in a relationship is not a clear-cut science, but you can discover the signs he’s avoiding you. Here is how.

If you were hunting down this article in the first place, you are wondering if your man is avoiding you. From experience, I can help you figure out the signs he’s avoiding you.

Let me tell you a story. At 20, I had a boyfriend for six months. After a minor fight, he told me he could never break up with me. I was too special. And I just drank that up like a fresh glass of lemonade.

About a week later, something started to feel off to me. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it. He would answer texts and phone calls, we would have lunch together, make plans, but there was a distance I just could not describe at the time.

A few days into this we were walking and he says, “we have to talk.” My stomach dropped. All those odd feelings I had had all week came to a head, and I knew. He was dumping me. Looking back he was clearly avoiding me that entire week, I just didn’t want to see it or admit it to myself. 

So you think he’s avoiding you

I hope this doesn’t ruin the whole article for you, but if you think he’s avoiding you, you are probably right. There is a good chance he is.

Now, that does not mean your story will be the same as mine. Men avoid us for many different reasons; some of which are actually sweet. And lots of guys are actually extra intimate before they break up with you, so avoiding you does not always mean something bad.

Why might he be avoiding you?

On top of being nervous to break your heart, a guy might be avoiding you because he cheated. I know, I know, that is no better. He either doesn’t know how to look you in the eye without blurting out the truth, or he doesn’t want you to catch him.

Another reason he is avoiding you is that he has a surprise. He could be planning a party, bought you an expensive gift, or may even be planning to propose. Guys sometimes even pull away on purpose before taking the next step to shock you even more so. I know, what are they thinking? 

The most obvious signs he’s avoiding you

Being on the lookout for signs he’s avoiding you can make you paranoid. You can find the smallest and most innocent thing sketchy if you want. So even though you are trying to figure out if something is up, remember to keep your head on straight and live in reality, not fantasy.

#1 He takes longer to text back. If he is usually a great texter that responds back to you ASAP but has recently been taking upwards of 30 minutes to answer a simple question, something might be up. He might be at work or sleeping or showering, but if this is becoming a regular thing, he may be avoiding you.

Plus, if you know he is on his phone because he is liking posts on Instagram or retweeting memes on Twitter, but isn’t answering, you may have a reason to worry. 

#2 He responds with short or one word answers. Maybe he isn’t at the point where he isn’t answering at all, but rather he is answering with short responses. Maybe he says fine, okay, or yeah, rather than saying anything that would continue the conversation. If so, he is avoiding you for one reason or another. 

#3 He rushes you off the phone. When you are dating a guy, you like to chat on the phone. The flirting is better, you can actually hear the emotion in their voice, plus it is way more personal than texting.

But if every time you call, he tells you his phone is dying, he can’t hear you, or has one of a million lame excuses, he is avoiding talking to you. This was something that happened multiple times the week before I was dumped. We would be talking on the phone and it always seemed like he had me on mute and would then rush off.

#4 He cancels plans last minute. Guys are the kings of avoiding confrontation and awkwardness. Trust me, I have three brothers. So instead of telling you, he doesn’t want to go do this or that he will wait until the last minute to cancel.

Of course, this gets us angrier, but there is less time for you to ask why he’s canceling or discuss it if he does it minutes before your plans were actually supposed to happen. Yes, some guys do this anyway, but if it happens more than once in a week he is avoiding you.

#5 He gives the same excuse. Guys who are avoiding you will be full of excuses. They have excuses for not texting, not calling back, not seeing you, etc. But often they rotate the same three or so excuses. Something like work is crazy or I fell asleep will be on top of that list.

He may be avoiding you, but that does not mean he is creative.

#6 He keeps his distance, physically. My ex and I were very touchy-feely. What can I say? I love me some PDA. But in that last week of our relationship, while we spent time together, he wouldn’t hold my hand even if we started walking, that way he would have to hold something in that hand or check his phone continuously.

Things became very surface level. 

#7 He stopped liking your Instagram posts or watching your stories. When you are into someone, you are all over their social media. You watch their snaps and stories, you like their posts, and even comment the heart eyes emoji here and there. Yes, once couples get comfy this can die down, but not entirely.

If he doesn’t check your story when he is with you, you are fine. But if he doesn’t show up on your posts and isn’t watching your stories consistently he is avoiding you, even virtually.

#8 He claims nothing is wrong. So you got sick and tired of trying to read the signs he’s avoiding you and straight up asked him what the deal is. First of all, good for you. Second of all, I am sure he didn’t give you a legitimate answer. He probably either gave a generic excuse or just said you’re being paranoid.

Guys just love to make us feel crazy, even though we have a logical reason to question his odd behavior.

#9 You catch them lying. Liar, liar, pants on fire. Well, lately his pants have all had burn holes because he lies consistently, but about nothing. What does that mean?

He may not be lying about anything major, but he lies about where he is, even if he’s just with his friends. Why? Because he doesn’t want you to show up. If he lies about sleeping when he is playing Fortnite, he may just want to play without your texts popping up. But if you notice this behavior repeatedly, something is up. 

#10 He doesn’t make eye contact. This is a small but subtle sign he’s avoiding you. It is so easily overlooked. And this is the one I didn’t see until it was too late. In fact, I noticed it right before he said anything, and I said, “you’re breaking up with me.” He was shocked that I had figured it out.

These signs may not tell all, but they certainly do tell a lot. So, if you notice he can’t seem to look you in the eye, something is definitely going on. You deserve to know what it is.


Here’s to hoping he’s not avoiding you. But if you discovered signs he’s avoiding you, I’m sorry. The next step, figure out why and do something about it.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Bailey – Chapter 1 – From Texting to Connecting

I matched with Bailey on OkCupid. Let’s take a look at her profile.


27 – Philadelphia, PA

Straight, Bisexual, Heteroflexible, Sapiosexual, Woman, Single, 5’5″ Thin

My Self Summary

So apparently OkCupid decided to delete all of my content on my fucking profile. I had a bunch of witty things written here. Oh well… I’m a spoken word artist. Honest, raw, blunt, cynical, funny, frugal, practical, logical, nurturing, attentive, catering, independent, passionate, no nonsense. I was originally looking for a life partner but this website doesn’t offer those so let’s just hang. Not here for sex unless we actually go together. I’m old fashioned. If you have kinky anywhere on your profile, buzz off.

What I’m doing with my life

Working at an insurance company and retail job, volunteering and performing as a a spoken word artist. Also, I’m a really nice, gentle person. You just can’t tell from this profile.

I’m really good at:

Being funny in a super corny way. Talking to myself in public. Word play.

The first thing people notice about me

My facial piercings. Especially my Medusa.

Food: Soul food and Chinese. But I legit will eat almost anything. Every guy I meet is some craft beer snob. I’ll take a sip for the sake of feigning open-mindedness. But THE SHIT IS NASTY, OK? I like cheap ass wine and Seagram’s wine coolers. The girly jams. That’s it.

Six things I can’t live without

This list is ever changing…

Poetry, Grandma, Music, Curse words/SAT words, This asshole cell phone, Google maps

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Finding my happy place. Black lives matter. Trump is a cunt.

On a typical Friday night I am

At a social or artistic event

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I spontaneously cry during cute commercials

You should message me if

You are drama free, baggage free, looking for something real, ***own a car*** (I’m not a chauffer) and want to connect in person quickly.

You eat sleep and breathe art

You like a nice firm cuddle.

You smell like sunshine and rainbows

You acknowledge that I’m not crazy. I’m quirky. Big Diff.

It bothers you that I didn’t put a period after rainbows.


That’s Bailey’s profile.

I like her. 27 years old. As we all know here at phicklephilly that’s my sweet spot. They are all looking for daddy and then want to get married and have kids. Then it’s over. That’s okay. I love meeting them and offering what wisdom I can. At this point since I’m long divorced and Lorelei lives with me I am beyond all of that. I may marry again. But she will be a doctor that will take care of my sorry ass and love me forever.

But for now, I want to meet quirky pierced “Fell asleep face down into a tackle box” baby. She’s going to turn 28 the day after Christmas. No problem meeting and old goat so I’m going to bring in the ’67 Pontiac GTO game I always do. Let’s see what happens. The blog won’t write itself, and the art is all.

Can’t wait to meet Bailey. She seems really nice. In her profile she says she’s thin. That could mean nice legs.

Let’s go with that.

I decide to write the first text on OkCupid.  She’s unique so I need to go with something original in my approach. Then I remember she likes “Dad Jokes” So I open with the following:

Waiter: Careful these plates are hot. Me: That’s okay, I’m not really attracted to plates.

She responds. “Gems. I knew you’d have some.”

“Hi Bailey. I loved your profile and you seem absolutely fascinating.”

“Thank you and likewise. I have a special place in my heart for comedians.”

“Me too. I’ve done stand up in the past and it’s terrifying and hilarious. Please tell me more about your spoken word art.”

“I’ve been writing and performing poetry since middle school as well as singing and acting. After high school I stopped performing for years until last year. Now I attend 2 open mics a week and occasionally book paid gigs. It’s my favorite thing in the world. It has brought be a lot of friendships and happiness.”

“That’s awesome! Let’s meet up for lunch one day. What days/times are good for you?”

“Tomorrow I’m available until 6pm. Sunday I have open availability as well.”

“Tomorrow I’m out-of-town. I could meet you after 4pm on Sunday.”

“Okay, that works for me!”

“Wonderful. I’ll find a place to meet up!”

(I provide my phone number)

So we switch over to texting and I’m feeling a good vibe. I think I like this quirky girl. I set up our first date for noodles and snacks at Dan Dan, the sechuen restuarant where my buddy Nate works as a bartender. She likes the idea and I’m going to meet her there Sunday!

So we’ll see what happens.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish everyday.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly  twitter: @phicklephilly

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