What Turns Men On?

Well, it’s a good thing that you would ask this because I’m a man, and I get turned on frequently. Just be aware that men are wildly different and what turns me on may be quite different to what turns the next man on — however, let’s try and paint with broad brushes so we get the basics down. I will get straight to the point and be a bit open and blunt about it. Are we all on board?

Great! Let’s go!

Men are turned on by confident women

There is SO much misinformation about confidence in today’s society it’s unreal. When I was younger, I used to think confidence was standing my ground and not backing down. I’m afraid that’s actually arrogance. And a lot of people get these mixed up, or at least they used to.

I’ve heard countless women tell me that their potential partner didn’t like her confidence as a way to dismiss the encounter that had taken place. Sometimes people are overbearing and mistake that for confidence.

No, confidence is also the willingness to listen to differing viewpoints and take ownership when we are in the wrong. Men love confident women — perhaps some just don’t know it. Every woman I have known to be confident is awesome to be around.

That’s just not me thinking that. Confidence is universally sexy, believe me.

Yes, the Way You Look

I’m a leg man myself. Many drunk nights in my youth my friends and I spent admiring the memories we had of the girls with great legs. When faced in a social situation with women that we are attracted to, men tend to flaunt their best assets. Mine were my eyes and my height, lucky I didn’t need to do anything to flaunt those.

Men are very visual with attraction so learn what your best attractors are and flaunt them to the maximum. There’s no need to go crazy commando, just, for example, if you have attractive legs then wear skirts, etc.  Plus when you feel good about how you look, you are more confident.

I’m definitely a sucker for a woman that has long hair. The longer the better for me. I’m not entirely sure why. My wife is always cutting her hair after it gets too long, and I don’t like it. But it’s about what makes her feel good about herself, I guess.

Sometimes the sweet smell of a female body can drive me wild with passion — of course, I have to be attracted to her for other reasons first. If you’ve seen the creepy men taking a sniff of the woman as she walks past before he gets a slap on TV, yeah, that’s a thing. We like your smells.

There’s a lot to be said about the gentle nature of some women — I see my wife as the Yin to my Yang. Whilst I’m focused, determined, protective, and providing, she’s kicking her own awesomeness with being caring, loving, helpful, and nurturing. I’m not saying all women, or even most women should be like this, but I know that many of the men I know are with their wives because of their incredibly caring and nurturing side behind closed doors.

Talking it out

Nothing makes a woman more attractive than a willingness to overcome some sort of hard barrier to talk about in the relationship. Sometimes we call this “makeup sex”. Most notably after an argument that has cleared the air. But it doesn’t need to be — you may have just talked him through something really difficult to own and he’s feeling particularly vulnerable right now.

Listen to him

There’s a lot to be said about listening. There’s nothing more attractive than a woman deeply interested in what I have to say. It might be boring, I may have said it a hundred times before, but if she’s sitting there, eyes wide, taking every bit of what I am saying in — this is deeply attractive.

I’m not saying she has to be my lapdog and she should sit there like a mute, but there are times when I just want to be heard; even more enjoyable if it’s someone I’m attracted to. I’m sure you like being listened to as well, then return the favour.

Be his hero when he’s vulnerable

Men can be stoic, hard going, focused and determined much of the time, but on occasion, something will happen that will make us more vulnerable than usual. When he’s vulnerable he’s going to be looking for someone to make him feel better. Be his hero. Show him respect even when he’s feeling low, allow him to own his vulnerability without shame.

And most importantly…

Have fun whilst doing all of this. A wise lady once told me to, “be myself” and my friends tell me that this is the worst advice someone can give. But I disagree, if you’re not being your good, natural, fun and loving self then why are you even bothering doing it? Flirting with and sizing up a potential partner is supposed to be fun and exciting.

Relax, and enjoy yourself!


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Tales of Rock – Sam Cooke

Samuel Cook[2] (January 22, 1931 – December 11, 1964),[2] known professionally as Sam Cooke, was an American singer, songwriter, and entrepreneur.

Influential as both a singer and composer,[3] he is commonly known as the King of Soul for his distinctive vocals and importance within popular music. His pioneering contributions to soul music contributed to the rise of Aretha Franklin, Bobby Womack, Al Green, Curtis Mayfield, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, and Billy Preston, and popularized the likes of Otis Redding and James Brown.[4][5][6] AllMusic biographer Bruce Eder wrote that Cooke was “the inventor of soul music”, and possessed “an incredible natural singing voice and a smooth, effortless delivery that has never been surpassed”.[7]

Cooke had 30 U.S. top 40 hits between 1957 and 1964, plus three more posthumously. Major hits like “You Send Me“, “A Change Is Gonna Come“, “Cupid“, “Chain Gang“, “Wonderful World“, “Another Saturday Night“, and “Twistin’ the Night Away” are some of his most popular songs. Cooke was also among the first modern black performers and composers to attend to the business side of his musical career. He founded both a record label and a publishing company as an extension of his careers as a singer and composer. He also took an active part in the Civil Rights Movement.[8]

On December 11, 1964, at the age of 33, Cooke was shot and killed by Bertha Franklin, the manager of the Hacienda Motel in Los Angeles, California. After an inquest, the courts ruled Cooke’s death to be a justifiable homicide. Since that time, the circumstances of his death have been called into question by Cooke’s family.

Random Facts:

Sam Cooke sand Almost in Your Arms in the 1958 Cary Grant (Real name: Archibald Leach!) Sophia Loren film, Houseboat.

The Flamingos’ 1960 rocker Nobody Loves Me Like You Do was comosed by Sam Cooke. Many years later Steve Miller did a great cover of that song as well as another great Cooke song, You Send Me.

Sam Cooke was portrayed by Paul Mooney in the 1978 movie The Buddy Holly Story, which made Gary Busey a star and Oscar winner.

I love this song.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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