How To Survive Marriage Without Intimacy: Exactly How To Deal With No Intimacy In Marriage – Part 1

Completely sexless and touch less! No kiss, no hug, no holding hands! Feelings of rejection, low esteem, anger, frustration, and resentment and desperation are overwhelming! Very depressed! Want out! Thinking of extramarital sex, separation, divorce!

Starting out as a happy couple, passionately in love and having sex every other day anytime, anywhere, you have now become just miserable roommates or even worse, housemates – sleeping in separate bedrooms. After a couple of years, the feeling of euphoria which at the start seemed endless starts to diminish and the relationship takes a downward turn. From passionate steamy sex, then to occasional “duty sex” (with the “just do it and get it over with” attitude) and until sex completely vanishes from your marriage. Even hugs, kisses and holding hands disappear! You are now living in a sexless marriage!

Statistics indicate that there are millions of husbands and wives who are living in sexless marriages and surprisingly, rather than going to a marriage counselor, more and more are joining online forums confessing their troubled relationships and miserable sex lives and seeking for help, advice, and support. Sexless marriage is increasingly becoming a very hot topic in these online forums. Check out one of these forums and you will discover that you are definitely not alone!

Definition of Sexless Marriage

The experts define sexless marriage as having sex less than 10 times a year. I personally do not subscribe to this definition. A couple can have sex 9 times in a year or less and still have a happy marriage. It is a very subjective matter. It depends on the individual couple, what level of intimacy they feel contented with. There is no fix dosage to have a happy sex life. I would rather take the word literally – meaning no sex at all – and alarmingly, there a millions of couples who are living in marriages completely devoid of sex, and even touch!

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

Root Cause of Your Sexless Marriage

Why did your marriage turn from “sex filled” to “sexless” after a couple of years? What is the root cause? To fix your sexless marriage, it is important to find out and understand the root cause. Your or your partner’s lack of sexual desire is just a symptom of much deeper problem built up over time. Your sexless marriage did not happen overnight. Stop blaming each other and jumping into any conclusion. It is not the lack of love or infidelity. Your spouse is not cheating on you. In fact he or she is suffering in silence to save your marriage.

The root cause of your sexless marriage is – the breakdown of your intimate relationship. Yes, your sexless marriage is the result of the loss of intimacy between you and your spouse! Intimacy leads to mutually pleasurable sex and good sex strengthens the emotional connection, bonding and partnership so vital in a happy marriage. Sex does not precede intimacy. Without intimacy there can be no meaningful sex. That is the simple truth!

The loss of intimacy between you and your spouse can be caused by any or all of the following:

– Hectic lifestyle. You and your spouse work yourselves to death and you come home both dead tired leaving no
time at all to enjoy each other’s company. More often than not, you get into each other’s nerve and end up arguing over very trivial matters before hitting the sack.

– Money. Financial problems can be very stressful and cause either you or your partner to lose sight of more
important aspects of your married life.

– Children. Your wife is so focused on being a mother and is most often fatigued and sleep deprived. Sleep becomes
her main concern every night!

– Unresolved misunderstandings. Past faults not forgotten and forgiven.

– Lack of communication. The ability to express and convey your feeling, emotions and thoughts as well as to
absorb your spouse’s feelings, emotions and thoughts. Communication is a two way street. Not only must you be a good talker but more important, you must be a good listener!

Knowing the root cause of your sexless marriage, you must act fast to address it before it leads to more serious scenarios like infidelity, separation or divorce and even domestic violence. It is extremely tough to survive a sexless marriage, of being rejected and ignored sexually.

What if your spouse don’t love you anymore? Here’s how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Practical Steps to Fix Your Sexless Marriage

Here are some practical steps you can take to restore the intimacy you once had with your spouse and revive your super steamy sex life:

1. Take the first step and re-establish a good line of communication with your spouse. The repair work must be a joint effort. Talk and listen! Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and look at the problem from his or her point of view. Convey this to your spouse with humility and surely he or she will most likely reciprocate.

2. Take time out of your busy schedules and daily routine. Ideally, you should both take a few days off from work and have that much needed vacation. But even just one day would be sufficient. Or even just dining out or going to the movies together would greatly help to restore your lost intimacy. The important thing is frequency, at least once week. Just the two of you, no kids, no friends, no family.

3. Every now and then surprise your spouse with a tender hug, a quick kiss or any kind of tender loving touch.

4. You may even need to start from square one and again woo your spouse just like the first time you felt attracted to him or her. As they say, love is lovelier the second time around (indeed, it is!). So, try to fall in love all over again.

5. Before going to bed, take a warm bath and take extra measure to look and smell good.

If your take these practical steps, intimacy, romance and passion will slowly come back to your marriage and then, guess what – great sex! Your sexless marriage if fixed! Your marriage saved! Congratulations!


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Sun Stories: Delaney – Chapter 2 – Girl Walks Into A Tanning Salon…

“Sorry bitch. There’s a new girl in town.”

I haven’t seen Delaney since Friday and I’m kind of in a snit about it. But doesn’t she walk in Thursday night looking gorgeous. I send another customer to a room and she steps up to the counter.

“Are you mad at me?”

I just look at her. She’s gorgeous. I’m helpless. I was a little cranky that Delaney knows my pain over Kita. She also wants to be my number one but hasn’t performed all that well.

Seeing her Friday was great. But I acquired a fresh bottle of special lotion for her and she failed to come in on Sunday because she was so banged up. But beauty is forgiving and she looks magic today. She’s wearing a skirt and I’m seeing her sweet bare legs for the very first time and they are delightful.

She has great enthusiasm for tanning and I love that. And unlike Kita she likes to drink. I love drinking. Kita was a shit Number One because she’s an absolute bore. She doesn’t drink, eats at Honeygrow and has no experience in life whatsoever.

Delaney is a hot badass chick that has a good job, is up for a promotion, and likes to drink and uses the whole language when she speaks.

Such a better candidate to be my number one than loser Kita. Delaney’s fun. I love being around her. I’m not mad. She looks amazing today. I could never be mad at the pure luck I’ve had just to get a quality replacement for Kita.

I’ve actually been letting her use the lotion I got for Kita to tan because I haven’t seen or heard from Kita since she went to Florida. Kita has been back for over 10 days and she hasn’t texted me or ever come in on my shifts since then.

I know I have to accept the fact that I was a fool and just gave and gave to Kita and she’s a self-absorbed loser who doesn’t know who she is and just used me for advice and snacks. (And so much more!)

But it’s my fault. I got too involved. I like to help. I’m always willing to help people. It’s what I do.

But to ghost me for a month after everything and then come in half a dozen times when I’m not here. That’s simply unacceptable. Despite her smoking hot little body, no wonder boys in her life have no use for her.

Kita sucks. Even Achilles is like, “I guess we’re not hiring her now.”

But Delaney has appeared, and I am elated. She’s beautiful and has EFT and loves tanning. She got off to a little bit of a rough start with me but I adore her.

We have a nice little chat session and I’m just happy to see this lovely maiden. As always, I hand her the Sweet and Sexy tingler lotion I keep for Kita under the counter. If Kita isn’t going to talk to me or come in and see me, I’m giving her lotion to my new girl to get a great tan. Fuck Kita. Ungrateful welp!

Although Kita and her sister have been adopted from China and rescued by her rich and extremely affluent parents, they have completely blown it as parents. But when you’re rich and powerful you normally do that. You’re too busy with your own shit to properly raise your kids. They’re simply a goal or a need you need to fill in your silly life.

The girls suffer because they never really get the intimate family environment that children need to thrive and develop.

You send your daughters to private school because you’re loaded and you feel that’s where they should go. Those girls never learn any interpersonal skills with boys and you’re actually stunting their emotional growth.

So I’m done with Kita.

But Delaney…

What a welcome relief.

I don’t need Delaney to fill in the huge void left by Kita but it goddamn helps.

She is a welcome relief.

Delaney tells me she only came in one time this week at lunch and I tell her Achilles has been teasing me. She scoffs and tells me he’s an ass.

I tell Delaney that I have stripped Kita of her special ringtone and text tone in my phone.

She’s surprised and delighted.

I tell her that I’ve assigned Kita’s cool text tone to her, (Suspense) and have given her a special ringtone.

“What is it?”

“Call my phone.”

She calls my cell and “Back in Black” by AC/DC plays. She loves it because she always wears black. I tell her that the color black is a color that represents power and is also a slimming color.

I’m still worried as to when I’ll see her again.

She tells me not to worry and that she’ll be in Friday to tan again. She upgrades and tans in a better bed. I hand her Kita’s lotion and off she goes.

I like that I’m letting my new girl use my lost girl’s lotion again. I’ve been giving her Kita’s lotion to use since we became acquainted. The betrayal seems justified. Let Delaney enjoy what Kita has squandered.

Delaney’s a worker. She wants to be promoted. She works till 8pm every night. I guess that’s how it is now. You just have to put in as many crazy hours as your loser over- achieving boss does and it shows that you’re promotable, Sad, In my day, I would just go out and sell millions of dollars from 9 to 5 and kill it my way, but I understand the whole failure of today’s workforce. I feel bad Delaney had to work in a shitty dumb unproductive environment like that.

Friday comes, and baby hasn’t been in for a couple of days. I’m dealing with some computer issues and the girls are being verypatient. I wish I could just take their money and throw a switch and tan these ladies, but if the computer is acting up I’m paralyzed.

I manage to sludge through and get a few clients into their sessions, but the system is fighting me the whole way. I may have to shut down the whole system and bring her up again just so I can get through the night. (It happens. It’s just the nature of the business and the customers are always cool with it)

I hate it but in this moment I get to say things like: “Okay girls, when the system comes back up I’ll be able to do you, Olivia, and then you, Ciara, and then you Lexi. I promise. The system has never beaten me. You will get tanned tonight.”

The last time I ever got to say something like that was in Los Angeles when I was in a band in Hollywood. “I’ll do you Olivia, then you Ciara, and then you Victoria.”

If that were the case now, sweet Delaney would be first on the bus.

But I digress…

I get the system working. We had 30 minutes of failure but we’re back in business.

I have to pause here for a moment.

I’ll write more later!


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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