5 Revealing Signs Your Partner Wants To Date Other People

As difficult as it might be to assimilate, a time may come in your life when your partner would want to start seeing other people.

That does not mean they have given up on your relationship entirely but they may want to test the waters to see what else the world could offer them. It can be painful but it can happen, and when it does, it’s crucial to be aware of the signs.

Here are five signs that your partner wants to date other people.

Remember, if that’s the situation, you are in no way obligated to continue this relationship while they try to “find themselves”.

1. You catch them looking at other people more and more often

Dating expert Demetrius Figueroa explains: “I think the earliest and most obvious sign that your partner has wandering eyes is when you catch them checking other people out,” Figueroa says. “The reality is that even the most faithful person in the world will notice when an attractive person enters their line of sight. It doesn’t make them more likely to cheat.”

However, if they’re constantly staring at others in your presence and it makes you feel uneasy, there’s nothing wrong with talking about it. Although it may be awkward, you shouldn’t have to make peace with something that bothers you. While it’s unrealistic to expect your partner to never check out a hot stranger in your entire relationship, asking them not to do it while you’re together should a fair request to make.

2. They start asking questions about possible crushes you might have

 If your partner develops an interest in dating other people, they might start asking you about who you find attractive, as if trying to talk about a random topic and see where your mind might be on the subject.

Dating Coach Pella Weisman says: “Your partner seems to be testing the waters by asking you about crushes, fantasies, which movie stars you think are cute, or your romantic interest in other people,” She adds: “Your partner may want to see if YOU are interested in dating other people because that would make it easier for them to bring up the topic.”

3. They regularly attend events where there will be singles without you

“You might find that your partner is starting to plan more and more events where they can interact with attractive single people when you’re not there,” says Demetrius Figueroa.

Anyone would be upset if their significant other was going to places with the intent to ogle other attractive people instead of ogling them. Figueroa stresses that “obvious ogling” is much more of a red zone than “fleeting glances”. But since there’s no way to be certain whether they’re attending events simply to check out other people, giving them a hard time for going to places on their own because there “might be hotties there” is not the best solution for your concerns. A better option might be to have a casual conversation about it.

“In the end, a wandering eye, whether it’s online or offline, is harmless on its own,” adds Figueroa. “A wandering eye isn’t a judgment of your attractiveness or a sign that your partner wants to cheat. It’s just an acknowledgment that other people are also attractive, as long as your partner isn’t acting on it.”

Your feelings on this issue are absolutely justified, whatever they may be, so if your partner’s wandering eye makes you feel uncomfortable, you should talk to them about it, and you should not have to be worried about them responding negatively. A loving partner should be approachable for anything you have on your mind. The bottom line is that talking about your feelings and concerns openly to your partner is always the best route to go.

4. They start flirting a lot

There’s a lot of debate on whether flirting is actually cheating. While some people say it is, others say it’s not and is just harmless interaction. Many think that if there’s no physical contact it’s not actually cheating.

Here are Relationship Expert April Masini’s thoughts on the issue: “Your partner starts flirting more often and for longer periods of time,” says Masini. “He or she may look forward to seeing someone who is attractive, and with whom they flirt. When you see that excitement in your partner, because he or she can’t wait to visit with a flirty friend, it’s because they want more than just flirtation. They want out of the relationship they have with you.”

5. All of a sudden they become hotter…

“A sudden change in appearance in your partner is a sign that he or she is looking beyond the relationship,” says Masini. “When your partner is thinking of dating other people, he or she is going to start priming him or herself to do so — and that usually starts with makeover elements.”

“If they now take more showers and have taken to wearing a new scent, you might have an issue. “Typically, you’ll see a partner who’s cheating adopt a more rigorous grooming routine, a more vigorous workout, and even a different cologne … They’ll have a little spring in their step that is hard to understand, and they’ll just start looking and smelling better than they have been,” she adds.

Can you think of any more signs of a partner who is looking into dating other people?

Let us know about them in the comment section below.

 

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Kita – Chapter 46 – Reckoning – Part 1

Reckoning: A bill or account, or its settlement.

Reck·on·ing

/ˈrek(ə)niNG/
noun
  1. the action or process of calculating or estimating something.
    “last year was not, by any reckoning, a particularly good one”
    Similar:

    calculation

    estimation

    computation

    working out

    summation

    counting

     

    addition

    total

    tally

    score

    • a person’s view, opinion, or judgment.
      “by ancient reckoning, bacteria are plants”
      Similar:

      opinion

      view

      judgment

      evaluation

      way of thinking

      appraisal

      consideration

    • ARCHAIC
      a bill or account, or its settlement.
    • There it is. A bill or account, or it’s settlement…

     

I was working this Saturday at the salon. I hadn’t heard from Kita the entire month she was in Florida. I’ve pretty much written her off and moved on. I got the one text that she was coming in to tan when she got back to Philly but didn’t respond. She kind of sucks as a person. But that’s just youth and privilege. She has all of these problems with guys because she’s clueless. She looked to me for advice and I did so much to help her. I even showed her how a guy should treat her. She’s so ignorant and dumb she couldn’t even see it.

All of the time I put in with her. The advice, the listening, and everything else. The gifts, the dinner, the lunch. She missed it all. Because she’s young, inexperienced and dumb.

Her petite Asian beauty is the only thing that has her hanging from a thread with me. But she’s been back for over two weeks and I haven’t heard a peep.

Selfish.

Youth.

I know I sound a little butt hurt but what she’s done is just rude. But if I really look at it, It’s no worse than the horrible shit I’ve done to people as a youth. I created this relationship, and it’s failing before my eyes in a cold, dark silence.

Kita doesn’t even know. She feels nothing. She’s so self-absorbed, all she can see and feel is what her immediate needs are. It’s called being 21.

But the funny thing is, she was adopted into privilege. A dice roll that came up snake eyes. She and her sister won the lottery. My daughter is her very same age and is a more mature, better person than this vacuous little baby girl.

But like I said before, I’m the architect of this nonsense. I should have just stayed away and not gotten mixed up with her. All of the hours of advice and the long texts about other boys were nonsense. All a waste of time.

I think what made it hardest was the kisses. That’s what kept me in. Her sweet little kisses and our romantic moments. I’m a sucker for that with a girl and that’s the only thing that’s held me in this confusing and confounding game.

I’m actually okay with all of it. It’s not driving me nuts, because at my age I’m just happy to have any attention from young women. Cherie is still hanging in there but I don’t know for how long. Frankly, it doesn’t even matter to me anymore. Stay? Go?

Same.

 

I’m at the salon munching on a soft pretzel from Wawa. It has no taste. It’s just filler at this point. They were out of mustard packets so I’m basically eating a salty, flavorless, hard chunk of bread. Fuckin’ crap. Not even a real Philly pretzel.

 

I’m chewing a mouthful when cute Kita suddenly enters the salon.

 

I haven’t seen her in a month and a half. She looks the same. Not darker in the tanning department, simply the same.

I stop chewing and just stare at her in amazement. She was my number one and so much has happened since I last saw her. Sadly, the shine has gone off the apple.

I think about hot Delaney in the salon last night using the last of Kita’s lotion that I got for her and then dropping it in the trash. It’s laying in the can just 10 feet from her. I hope to God she doesn’t ask for her bottle… because it’s gone.

“Kita…”

“Hey Charles.”

“How are you?”

“I’m good. I’m sorry I haven’t been in to see you. But It’s a new semester and my class schedule has changed. That’s why I’ve been coming in during the morning.”

“I thought that’s what probably happened.” (I really did)

Yea. I have a bunch of classes in the afternoon now and it’s hard for me to get down here after 3.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too. But I was just busy having fun doing nothing in the keys.”

I liked that she said that.

“I thought maybe you were staying away because you realized I did too much for you.” (I can’t believe I folded with that hand)

“Oh, no. It’s just my classes.”

I was praying that Delaney would walk in at this moment and worlds would collide and the new number one would meet the fallen queen. But that wasn’t going to happen.

“I’ve been talking to Steve again.”

“Oh.”

I fucking hate this guy, He’s the rebound guy I consoled her on for an entire month and she’s still failing as a person with this loser.

“Yea. He called me when I was in Florida and said he was sorry for the way he treated me and that I didn’t do anything wrong. So that was good. So I’m talking to him again.”

 

Apparently “talking to” means kissing and hanging out with someone now.

 

I’m indifferent at this point and know that Kita will continue to make shitty decisions with men for the next decade. I simply don’t care. It only takes a month or so for phicklephilly to start closing doors and opening new ones now.

She tells me she’s been working out and is thinner now. She wanted to lose her belly but this baby is 5’1″ and petite and perfect so I don’t get it, but again, at this point I simply don’t care. (This is all part of her poor body image and general neurosis)

When I went to Wawa this morning I got what I needed food-wise for my shift, and I reluctantly picked up an extra banana. I thought I’d offer it to sweet Delaney, but now I am yielding to Kita.

Damn it!

“Do you want a banana?”

“I’d love a banana.’

I can’t go back. But here I am offering delicious fruit meant for my new number one and giving it to Kita.

Fuck me!

She doesn’t deserve it!

Kita happily accepts the fruit and munches it like the sweet little chimp that she is.

I’m worried she’ll ask about her lotion but she doesn’t, and wants to check out a couple of packets of two different stronger tinglers. Bombshell and Body Shots. After a long decision process she settles on Body Shots. It make me think back on to how long she took with the fucking menu at Gran Cafe L’Aquilla.

I’m so done with her. She’s just a boring little girl. I wish Delaney would walk in here so we could erase her together.

It would be glorious.