‘We’re All Wearing Diapers’: Shocking New Year’s Eve Truth

There are only a handful of cities with celebrations so spectacular on New Year’s Eve that they’ve built an international reputation on it.

At the top of the list, arguably, is Sydney – for it’s magnificent and world-class fireworks display on the city’s sparkling harbour.

Perhaps the most iconic, however, is the ball drop in New York’s Times Square – otherwise known as “the Crossroads of the World”.

It’s where some two million people pack the streets in the core of the Big Apple up to 16 hours before the clock strikes midnight. They come for the spectacle: a free concert featuring some of the world’s biggest stars; an illuminated ball that drops from above a high-rise building, marking the end of one year and the start of the next; and an explosion of confetti, with handwritten wishes written on each piece from members of the public, fluttering through the skies above the bustling streets. To be a part of it and feel the electricity in person is on the bucket list of many people all over the world. The celebration is so popular that revellers arrive in the morning to secure prime position before it fills up and police block access.

But there’s a catch that most tourists who flock to the city for New Year’s Eve are largely unaware of: There are no bathroom facilities. Zilch. No Portaloos, no public rest rooms, and no access to restaurant or bar facilities for non-customers. And in a place so packed that it can take hours just to shuffle from one block to the next – and that’s outside of police pen “lock-in” periods – it’s a discovery many revellers don’t make until it’s too late.

Those privy to the set-up, however, have a secret: adult nappies.

New Year's Eve fireworks display over Times Square, New York, USA.
New Year’s Eve fireworks display over Times Square, New York, USA.

It’s said that the streets of New York City will “make you feel brand new” – a line immortalised in Alicia Keys’ hit song Empire State of Mind.

Just don’t expect to get that on New Year’s Eve when the streets are lined with thousands of adults wetting their “diapers” and thousands more urinating directly onto the street.

“So far, it’s dry, and I’m hoping to keep it that way,” nappy-wearing Dallas teacher Heather Feist, 33, who began lining up at 9.30am, told the NY Post at last year’s event.

Others were not so lucky.

“I’ll definitely need to shower after peeing my pants all day,” Ayame Yamakawa, 22, told the newspaper after travelling 22 hours from Okinawa, Japan, just for New Year’s Eve this time last year.

She had already wet herself once by 2.41pm after lining up at 10am, according to The Post.

 

Crowds celebrate new year on Times Square, NYC. Picture: iStock
Crowds celebrate new year on Times Square, NYC. Picture: iStock

 

The celebration lights up New York. Picture: iStock
The celebration lights up New York. Picture: iStock

At a previous NYE street celebration in Times Square, Jeryl Lippe, from New Jersey, got a bad case of karma after she smuggled vodka into the alcohol-free zone inside a water bottle. She didn’t eat anything other than a breakfast bagel and didn’t have her illicit drink until the end of the day, she told local The Post. But, “by the time it was turning midnight, I had drunk a lot and was desperate to go to the bathroom,” she continued. “I tried to find some place to go – hotels, restaurants,” she said, but she was denied.

Chuck Pappas travelled from interstate for NYE at the “Crossroads of the World” in 2014, at the time telling Business Insider: “We have Red Bull, energy shots, lots of snacks, water, playing cards, we’re all wearing several layers and … we’re all wearing diapers.”

Brian Alvarado, from Westchester, New York, last year recalled how one of his friends gave up and urinated in the street, adding, “I’ve heard stories of people who wear (adult) diapers.”

 

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Are Dating Apps Just For Hookups? Here’s What You Need To Know

One of arguably the best and most controversial 21st century developments seems to be dating apps. For better or worse, you can skip any quaint courting ritual and go straight to getting it poppin’ and sneaking out the morning after. But the question remains: Are dating apps just for hookups? If you’re no longer interested in hookups or never were, it’s easy to get jaded with modern dating. Whether it’s your friends, pop culture, or your own lackluster experiences, it might seem that dating apps are just for one-night stands, FWB situations, and flings at best. You’re left wondering, “OK, is there a version of my swiping, matching, and messaging on dating apps that can get help me get back to actual dating?”

Ultimately, it comes down to a mix of your intentions, those of your potential matches, and which app you’re on. Looking at the big three (Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble), you’ll find that yes, you can find a committed romantic relationship on dating apps. A 2017 study found that about half of U.S. couples met online. On average, 39% of straight couples met via the internet and 60% of queer ones did. So, never mind any preconceived notion of what dating apps have to offer. And as it turns out, there’s a lot going on behind-the-scenes that puts the odds in your favor — beyond curing horny Friday night boredom.

Mauro Grigollo / Stocksy

For starters, there’s Bumble, which is founded explicitly on respect. That’s evident in women holding the power to make the first move on the app, subverting gendered power imbalances. It’s also evident in new features like d*ck pic detection, aka “Private Detector,” which goes live in June 2019. More than the app’s reputation and features, a 2018 survey found that 85 percent of Bumble users are “looking for marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend.” Less than four percent of people were looking for a hookup.

So if you’re looking for someone to date on Bumble, it’s truly just a matter of specifying what kind of dating you’re interested in. “Not everyone is looking for the same thing when it comes to dating, so we encourage our users to make it clear what they are looking for on their profiles — to help set expectations on both sides,” says Alex Williamson, Bumble’s chief brand officer.

One tangible way to do that is by customizing your Bumble profiles badges. Do you want casual dating, a long-term relationship, or marriage and kids? Whatever you’re looking for, don’t be shy about it. You can even filter what other folks are looking for, too, Williamson says. She also explains that she and Bumble staff hear from app users all the time about how they’ve found love. Williamson has already officiated a Bumble couple’s wedding and will be officiating more later this year. She adds, “I was just getting coffee somewhere in Austin wearing my Bumble hoodie and our waitress pulled out her phone to show me a picture of her Bumble baby!”

Alexey Kuzma / Stocksy

Hinge, too, makes a compelling case for romance over hookups via dating apps. Its tagline is “Designed to be Deleted.” Basically, that means Hinge was designed with IRL dates and (fingers crossed!) a budding romantic relationship in mind. From the jump, Hinge encourages users to put their most authentic self forward. It invites you to add tidbits like lifestyle habits to your Hinge profile or fill out its monthly, thought-provoking prompts. Then, the app’s “Most Compatible” feature takes care of the rest. The algorithm takes into account likes you and the community have sent within the past 24 hours, and then analyzes in-app behavior. By limiting likes, too, Hinge ensures that users’ likes are meaningful. The app also prompts people to reply when its their turn in the convo, cutting down on accidental ghosting in the process.

The “designed to be deleted” slogan doesn’t just apply to Hinge’s “getting to know you” set-up. The app’s interface was literally designed to help you focus on your match and get on a real date with them. The ample white space, cute drawings, and gentle splashes of royal purple, lilac, and yellow are intentional.Hinge’s Director of Design Lucy Mort said, “The colors and illustrations invoke a sense of optimism in a process that can often feel draining. We want the warmth and spiritedness of the new design to motivate our members to get off the app and out on a date.”

The changes appear to work. “The new illustrations, rounded corners, and more whimsical palette do make the design less serious or sterile,” UX designer and cognitive researcher Maxim Leyzerovich told Elite Daily. “By designing experiences that are aesthetically calming — but also visually balanced and laid out — the inherent anxiety of using the app can be decreased.

Studio Firma / Stocksy

And then there’s Tinder, the one with a reigning reputation as a hookup app — a playground of nothing long-term, nothing serious. It seems the data reflects that, too. Tinder’s 2018 survey of more than 1,000 singles from 18 to 25 years old found that 72% of millennials have “made a conscious decision to be single for a period of time.” Of that group, 62% made this decision to focus on their own needs and 47% did so to focus on school.

So, yes, millennial Tinder users may be staying single for responsible reasons, like nurturing their ambitions and working on themselves. And the fact that 40% of respondents said they wouldn’t “settle for the wrong person for the sake of being in a relationship” could be encouraging. You can even be explicit about what you’re looking for in your Tinder bio. But the bottom line is: The vast majority of Tinder users aren’t looking to be boo’d up anytime soon. Bumble and Hinge are going to be your best bet if you’re looking for a serious relationship.

So, if you’re out there on dating apps, there is a chance you might run into one or two or five matches you really like (who just want to hook up). But there’s an attitude shift, on behalf of dating apps and app users, that’s looking super promising for finding love online. With the right app and intentions, know that a potential spark is only one swipe away.

 

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Sun Stories: Jazmin – Guess Girl – Chapter 5

I’m wiping down the counter when Jaz enters the salon. Here is one of the prettiest women I’ve ever met and there’s such a penalty hanging on my head on this one.

It’s not a free tanning session. (I do that one all of the time and they all buy packages) I buy upgrades for the pretty girls I like. This is a brand new situation. This is a foreign lady who has caught me in a comprising position with a girl in the gym and is prepared to expose me on Yelp and social media if I don’t comply with her orders.

It all seems weird to me and I’m having oceans of anxiety about this incident. I wish it all never happened.

I’m wiping down the Alpha 6800 when Jazmin had entered the salon at 7:45. Fifteen minutes before closing. She looks stunning. Vermillion blouse, black pencil skirt, and heels. Her legs are bare and stunning.

“Hi, Charles. How are you?”

“I’m good.” (I want to sound enthusiastic for her so it’s not weird.)

“I’m so tired today.”

“Well corporate America can be a bitch!” (I’ve worked in the corporate rat race since the 80’s, so I really know)

“Well, have you decided?”

“I have.”

“What is you answer, Charles?”

 

“Yes… You’re lovely Jazmin. How can I refuse your request?”

It’s been an unconventional request but some of the best things in my life have come to me when I least expected them. Actually all of the most magical moments have come to me in unexpected ways.

“So yes… I will do whatever you want, Jazmin”.

 

God, this girl is on the right side of thirty and really pretty. I can’t believe the crazy things that have happened to me working at this salon.

Thank you Achilles.

 

The salon is now closed. The silence surrounds me.

Should I turn the music back on?

I decide to leave it off unless Jaz asks for it. I call her Jaz because I’m about to become intimate with a client and it’s wrong.

How can I even say that after what happened between me and Kita? (See: Kita – Reckoning and Double Dip)

Jazmin goes tanning and after about fifteen minutes comes out of the Cadillac.  (We call that sunbed that because when it’s closed it looks like the front of an old Caddy.) She looks amazing. Her skin is darker and she’s just gorgeous.

“Where do you want me?”

This is insane.

“Go ahead and have a seat on the sun bed in room 9.”

I can just get down on my knees to do the deed.

I actually hate calling it the deed. Because I’m the benefactor here. A super beautiful girl holding me hostage to go down her. How bad is my life?

I stop by room 9.

“Charles, I’m frightened.”

“Then you can go now and we’ll never speak of this, Jaz.” (I’d never force a girl to do something she didn’t want to do.)

 

“I want this. But now I am feeling so much fear. Can you help me?”

 

“Jaz… you opened this event. Reach into yourself. You really want it to happen, right?”

“Y…yes.”

“It’s going to be so nice and you’re not comprising your virginity or your virtue. You’re just going to have some good feelings and then you’re done.”

I am literally Dr. Love in this moment. This extortionist that has tried to pull some blackmail sex on me is now feeling nervous and scared.

If Jazmin will just relax, she’ll have a feeling she’s never known.

Jazmin is a virgin, so I need to go very slowly and be really gentle.

She’s sitting on the edge of the sun bed when I reach the doorway. I’ve brought a chair with me and I put it outside of the room in the hallway. I sit down. I don’t enter the room. The room is small and she’s going to need her space at the beginning of this event.

“I’m really scared. I can’t do this.”

“Okay. What do you want to do? Jaz, we don’t have to do anything. It’s okay.

“I think I need a moment. I still want to have this feeling, but I just need a moment.”

(Which could mean: Never.)

“Just breathe, dear.”

Jazmin takes a deep breath.

“In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Slowly.”

“Thank you for being so patient with me.”

This is a completely different woman than the one I met the other day. She seemed so confident and almost arrogant in regard to what she was demanding from me. Now she’s sitting here like a frightened teenager.

This is going to totally suck if she doesn’t pull herself together.

“Jaz. You can trust me. We’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do. You’re just having a little stage fright. You decided you wanted to experience this feeling and here we are.”

“You’re right. Thank you.”

She seemed to be calming down.

“I assure you, Jazmin. You’re going to enjoy this experience. I know what I’m doing in this department. You’ve witnessed my work first hand. It’s just one of the many services I offer at this fine salon.”

She cracks up. That’s exactly what I was going for. Bring in a little humor to get them giggling to lower the tension.

“You’re so funny. Okay. Let’s do this.”

“Okay.” I remain seated. No need to rush.

“Wait.”

“Yes, dear.”

“How do we do this? Should I remove my skirt or just hike it up?”

“To provide the maximum amount of freedom of movement I would recommend you remove the garment. But when you do that, I’m going to close the door so that you can disrobe in private. You’ll also want to remove your undergarments as well. Then I would ask that you take that yellow towel over there on the table, and place it over your pelvis to cover yourself. I’ll come back when you’re ready.

“Okay…”

I think she was surprised at my tact. But it’s how I operate. This is a serious, life changing transaction. It has to be right for Jazmin. I can’t have a misstep here.

I return to the chair. I can hear her removing her skirt. Then the sound of her panties slipping down her slender caramel thighs.

I’m performing a sexual act under duress, but at the same time I’m trembling with excitement with what I’m about to do. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. To orally pleasure a beautiful virgin. I’ve relieved several women of the burden of virginity. I’ve been gentle and loving every time. This is no different. I will do my absolute best to bring Jazmin to orgasm as many times as her body and mind will allow for the very first time.

All without penetrating her.

I’ve got this.

I’ll be honored if she goes through with this. She could open the door fully clothed and call off the whole thing. Then what happens? Do we try again? Does she go with the evil Yelp review, contact the authorities, or just drop this matter entirely? I’m sitting here in the quiet salon.

It’s as silent as a morgue.

What am I doing? I should put the music back on. Just to create some atmosphere in this weird moment, I run to the front and hit the tablet. I pick an internet station that sounds like something sensuous.

I slowly walk down the long hallway back to the chair outside of room 9. I sit once again and wait.

“Charles?”

“Yes, Jazmin.” (Can she hear my heart beating?)

 

“I think I’m ready…”

 

 

Read the next episode of Jazmin in 2 weeks!

 

 

If You’re On Dating Apps But Not Into Casual Hookups, Here’s What To Write On Your Profile

Fortunately, dating apps have made connecting with like-minded singles easier than ever before. However, if you’re not looking for a casual encounter, making your intentions known might seem like the best way to get the most out of your matches. That’s why anyone who’s on dating apps but not into casual hookups has probably considered how to communicate this without it coming off as too “intense.”

Although it’s definitely a good idea to be honest, online dating coach and dating profile writer Eric Resnick recommends avoiding the use of language that could dissuade people from contacting you. “Writing that you aren’t looking for a hookup is defensive language,” Resnick tells Elite Daily. “It makes you sound like you aren’t going to trust the intentions of anyone who contacts you, regardless of what they may actually be.”

Finding matches who are on the same page isn’t always easy, and ultimately, it’s up to you to decide which approach you’re most comfortable with. “Being honest may scare away a potential match and you have to decide if that is a risk you are willing to take,” prominent couples’ therapist Dr. Gary Brown tells Elite Daily. Thankfully, both Dr. Brown and Resnick agree that keeping your profile focused on what you are looking for instead of what you aren’t is a good place to start.

“If you aren’t looking for a hookup, don’t talk about hookups,” says Resnick. “Talk about the type of person you want to meet and the type of relationship you want to find. Don’t say you are looking for someone to rush you down the aisle or to have a baby with, but be honest about the type of relationship you’re looking for.” Even though it may seem like adding a disclaimer against casual encounters will help sort through incompatible candidates, according to Resnick, casual sex seekers will probably still reach out. There’s not much you can do to avoid that. “The people who just want a hookup are going to message you anyways,” explains Resnick. “For them, it’s a numbers game.”

To anyone looking for something more meaningful than a fling, Dr. Brown recommends casting a wide net and not limiting yourself to dating apps that have an overtly casual implication. If it still seems like you’ve been getting attention from people who are almost always looking for casual sex, Resnick says it’s also important to consider your profile photos.

Resnick suggests avoiding photos that are overtly sexual in nature. “On dating apps, people are going to look at your pics more than anything and those pics tell a story,” he says. “Make sure they’re telling the story you want to tell.”

Figuring out the most effective way to present yourself on dating apps can be tricky. That said, the results you get are oftentimes dependent on crafting an image of yourself that’s in line with the type of relationship you’re looking for. That’s why staying true to yourself while also focusing on the kind of relationship you’re hoping to find is key.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Cherie – Chapter 58 – Valentine’s Day

Cherie doesn’t realize her value to the tired, old, broken down man who is honored with her presence every time she shows up again to be with him.

As you know I have been in a relationship with Cherie for over two years now. I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend, but I’m fickle. She lives far away and I hardly ever see her. I know that’s not a reason for my infidelity and my little dalliances.

Phicklephilly isn’t going to write itself, and I am what I am. Nobody got hurt.

I love Cherie and nothing is changing. I’m living my life and she’s going to medical school to become a doctor. We rock, and I love being with her more than anybody I’ve ever been with.

Valentine’s Day was looming and I didn’t know what to do. I sent her a dozen roses on her birthday back in November and that was an expensive gift. They start you out at ProFlowers at a low price and then there’s the extras. The vase, candy, crazy delivery charges. You go from $19 to $70 in five seconds.

It’s why they’re in business.

So I did that, and Valentine’s Day was coming up on me like a homeless person asking for change.

I knew I had to do something different and was feeling stressed about it as the days counted down.

I asked Achilles what he was doing. (See: Achilles – 50th Birthday) He said probably just a nice dinner with his lady.

I knew because of our schedules I wouldn’t be seeing lovely Cherie. But I needed to do something.

What if due to my indecision, I told her that I had a gift for her, but I wanted to give it to her in person?

That would buy me some time and I could do something cool with her. Dave and Buster’s? Movie? Sephora gift card? Sexy underwear?

I was lost, but I needed to come up with something and fast.

There was a long period between our last meeting and she was a little frosty to me and I could feel the separation. Even when we were having sex. She liked it but she wasn’t emotionally engaged.

It was just a release.

She even told me after in texts that I had to work hard to get back in her good graces.

I secretly kind of liked that she enjoyed the sex but was going to make me work for her heart. Cherie is a wonderful woman and I couldn’t forsake her. She’s been hurt in the past and I needed to step up and work on the relationship however how distant.

The day is approaching and I’m being barraged with offers from Proflowers and I finally yield to their endless emails.

I open one of then and there’s a beautiful floral bouquet of spring flowers for $40. Vase and delivery included. A clear money grab but an opportunity for yours truly.

I click on it and the bouquet looks absolutely gorgeous. Just do it. I’m at my desk at home and they’ve got me. I pull out the credit card and swipe right.

I get to write a card to go with the flowers.

“Cherie, You are the light of my life. I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

I crack off the order to her address after double checking to make sure it’s correct because I’m half in the bag when I do it. I even run the sentiment by my daughter Lorelei and she approves.

 

Valentine’s Day comes and I’m at the salon. I picked up a bag of Hershey’s Kisses to dump in a basket on the counter for the girls to munch. We love our customers, so I thought it’d be appropriate. Achilles doesn’t give a shit because he just sees it as more candy wrapper trash. But me coming from a corporate sales background, I know these little things work.

I know Cherie’s in school all day and then works at the hospital after that. She won’t be home for a while. Probably gone for the day, poor thing.

We text our little Happy Valentine’s day emojis to each other and it’s fine. I don’t know at this point where she fully is mentally or emotionally with our relationship at this moment.

The day and night pass and I’m home on my laptop watching Netflix when I get the text at 10pm.

Wait…

Let me give you the earlier texts first…..

ME: “How’s your day going?”

“OMG just shoot me. I’m over it already. My doctor was like 2 hours late because he got stuck at the nursery for an emergency. How are you?”

“I’m doing well. Just having some lunch. Thinking of you.”

“I inhaled my lunch during a meeting. I hate meetings at lunch because I already pig out so I don’t need to inhale more than I already do. I wish I were with my Valentine.”

“You’re beautiful and I love you and I wish I were with my Valentine.”

 

So the whole day went by and we were both super busy. I was sitting at my computer watching Netflix at 10pm on Valentine’s Day and I got the following text:

“I love you soooo much baby. You are the best. I just got home and I’m so grateful to have a boyfriend that gives me flowers and tells me I’m the light of his life. I’m beyond in love and adore you so much! (Heart, Heart eyes, and kiss blowing emojis)

That token on that day changed everything.

Any virtual doghouse I could have been in vanished in that instant.

Cherie is a survivor. A girl that doesn’t want anything. She wants to do it all on her own. She’s been hurt in the past.

So have I.

Cherie’s accustomed to struggling and facing adversity at every turn.

I sent her flowers with a few key strokes on Valentine’s day. That gesture has bridged any gap that has occurred between us in the last six months.

She knows I love her. She knows I care deeply for her. She expects nothing but pain and failure in her life and yet, pretty flowers show up her house from the man who knows she is the one. The only one.

Cherie doesn’t realize her value to the tired, old, broken down man who is honored with her presence every time she shows up again to be with him.

A man who morally doesn’t deserve such a wonderful woman.

But a man who will try to always continue to evolve and do better.

A man who will learn to appreciate what a loving, giving, generous soul he has in his life.

Even if their encounters are brief.

 

Cherie and I are trying to set up a meeting very soon and I think the flowers have accelerated it.

Learn from me gentlemen!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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14 bad habits you should outgrow by your 30s

For most of us, our 20s are for figuring things out: Yourself, your career, your relationships. You made tons of mistakes along the way (as we all did). But now, you’re nearing or are in your 30s, and things feel a little different. Maybe you know yourself better, feel a little more confident, or just aren’t afraid to be yourself.

And while we can’t expect to suddenly become perfect human beings just because we’ve entered a new decade of life, it doesn’t mean there aren’t things we should have outgrown by our 30s.

And that’s because some of our youthful behaviors no longer serve us in positive ways. Holding on to certain habits from our younger days could actually hold us back when it comes to obtaining the relationships, careers, health goals, and happiness we want. So, in the spirit of breaking habits that no longer serve us well, read 14 things we should no longer be doing in our third decade of life below.

1 Drinking wine and cocktails out of plastic cups

Different beverages require different glasses. This is not vanity or for mere appearances—this is physics. Wine needs oxygen to unleash its flavors. Hence, the globe shape of wine glasses! An old fashioned ought to be served in an old fashioned tumbler, so that the whiskey has ample room to surround the ice. Plastic ruins the taste of our beloved beverages. Go to a thrift store, and get yourself the right glasses for each job. You’ll thank yourself later.

2 Neglecting your skin

When we were younger, we thought we were invincible. Aging is something that happens to other people—not to us. So finding that first gray hair or hint of a wrinkle can be pretty sobering. Just remember: Wearing moisturizer and sunscreen daily can not only slow signs of aging, but can actually prevent damage. It’s time to get proactive!

3 Ignoring your fingernails and toenails

Sorry guys, dirty, chipped nails must now be a thing of the past. Wash your hands, trim those nails, push back those cuticles, moisturize your nail beds. It’s not just about vanity, it’s about hygiene. Fungal infections are nasty, y’all.

4 Not washing your sheets and towels regularly

What, you thought there was a clean sheet fairy who magically replaced your linens when you were out? (If only!) Now that you’re in your 30s, this is definitely a habit to get into regularly. You really want to invite that new bae over only for them to slip into sweaty, crumb-laded sheets?

5 Letting food go bad in the fridge

At the very least, mold is gross, and at most, it’s actually unhealthy. Plus, coming home to a clean fridge just feels nice. Toss that ish out, and clean your fridge regularly. We’re talking a mere once a month. Dampen a paper towel with some warm water and a little vinegar or lemon juice, and give those shelves a wipe down. We promise: Your very soul will feel cleaner.

6 Not taking out the trash

You ever been over to someone’s apartment and seen their trash cans overflowing? It’s a major turn-off, right? Don’t be that person!

7 Stacking dirty dishes in the sink

The kitchen sink is not a storage unit for dirty dishes. Use a dish? Wash your dish! Easy as that. When dishes stack in the sink, several unfortunate things happen: 1) That bacteria-filled stagnant water attracts bugs. 2) The pressure created by dishes stacked precariously on top of each other is how dishes chip and break. 3) Your housemates have nowhere to rinse their dishes or fill up their water filters. Let’s not anymore.

8 Not asking for what you’re worth

In our 20s, we’re still proving ourselves. That often means accepting entry-level work for the experience, and later, letting people make us feel that the experience is still worth being underpaid. But there comes a time when you just have to say, “I know what I’m worth, and I expect to be compensated appropriately.” If you feel like you need some help figuring out how exactly to say this to an employer, we feel you, and here’s a helpful resource.

9 Forgetting to prioritize your family or loved ones

As you grow older, you may be realizing that time moves extremely fast—and once it’s gone, it’s gone. So, connect with your loved ones. Give them your time. Your heart will thank you, as will theirs.

10Not saving money when you have some to save

Common investment knowledge tells us that in your 30s, you should try to be saving 15 to 25 percent of your earnings, whether in the form of a (401)k, a Roth IRA, or even just a regular old savings account. This cushion will give you freedom when you want to make more “grown up” purchases, start a family if you want one, or just help you in retirement. Do your future self a favor and start thinking about ways to save.

11 Smoking

Okay, we don’t want to be the life police here (or sound like your mom). But we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that most cigarettes contain about 600 ingredients. When they burn, they generate more than 7,000 chemicals, according to the American Lung Association. Many of those chemicals are poisonous and at least 69 of them can cause cancer. They also clot your blood, clog your pores, yellow your teeth, and create wrinkles around your mouth. If you’re a smoker, your 30s might be the time to seriously consider strategies for quitting or cutting back.

12 Never exercising

Young bodies are amazing. They maintain their shape and elasticity with hardly any effort. That’s due to a little process called metabolism. As we age, our metabolism declines. If we don’t stay active, we’re risking all sort of health issues, like heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and a myriad of others. In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of the American Heart Associationfound that regular exercise saves individuals $2,500 a year in medical costs!

13 Drinking too much on the weekend

For many of us, bar-hopping every weekend was a rite of passage into adulthood. Well, now you’re an adult, and you might be realizing that there’s so much more to weekends than nursing hangovers. Knowing your limits and drinking responsibly will keep your rested and alert for yoga, road trips, dinner parties, or even just a weekend of not feeling icky.

14 Obsessing over what or whether your crush is texting you

He only texted you four kissy faces at the end of his sentence, when you sent him seven! What could it mean? You’re too darn busy for this! Let your 30s be a time of openness and honesty with someone you’re interested in, as opposed to “who texted last?” playing-it-cool games.

Remember, all of the above aren’t hard and fast rules. Sometimes we all drink a little too much, neglect our laundry, or have mini-freak outs over a crush—at any and every age. But many of the above tips will actually make you feel healthier, happier, and less stressed on a daily basis—and what better reward than that?

 

 

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Geddy Lee Misses Playing With Rush but Doesn’t Expect Reunion

Rush‘s Geddy Lee says he misses playing with his band mates but doubts whether the band will ever tour again.

“I don’t miss leaving [my family]. But I miss those three hours on stage with my buddies. That, especially in the last 10 years of touring, was so much fun and so gratifying,” Lee said in an interview with the Toronto Sun.

When asked whether the band knew the last show of the R40 tour would be the last ever, Lee said, “Neil [Peart]insisted that that was his last gig. And you know, Alex [Lifeson] and I would look at each other and go, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, he’s just saying that.’ So I think we kind of knew, we should have known, it was the last show. But I think being eternal optimists we hoped that after a break we would be back out there. That never materialized.”

Lee says he sees Rush guitarist Lifeson “quite a lot” and that he and Lifeson visit drummer Peart “quite often.”

“So we’re all close but I don’t think we would ever do a project — the three of us,” he added. “It’s certainly possible that Alex and I would do something down the road. I can’t see the three of us ever really doing anything.”

Meanwhile, Lee is currently busy promoting his new book, Geddy Lee’s Big Beautiful Book of Bass.

 

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7 things highly accomplished people do every day before noon

  • Starting the day right is important — and successful people have tricks for getting the most out of their workday well before lunchtime.
  • For instance, Sabir Peele, the founder of Men’s Style Pro, says he he splits up his day in two halves in order to increase productivity, and after he finishes two tasks, he does 20 push-ups.
  • Many accomplished people also get to work early and get their least enjoyable task out of the way first, as saving it for later can add unnecessary stress and negativity to the day.

Do you struggle trying to find that morning motivation? You’re not alone. It can be hard to get yourself moving in the early hours of the day, especially if you lack the excitement necessary to do so in your workplace. But there are easy ways to combat this. (And one comes Venus Williams-recommended!)

Below, we’ve outlined seven things successful people do to get the most out of their work day well before lunchtime.

1. They set specific goals

1. They set specific goals
US President Barack Obama does pushups at a White House event.
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Sabir Peele, the founder of Men’s Style Pro, told Business Insider he splits up his day in two halves in order to increase productivity.

“I list a maximum of 10 tasks that I want to crush by noon,” he said. “To stay interested in what I’m doing, I do the most important tasks at the top of each hour and then handle emails. After I finish two tasks, I do 20 push-ups.”

Splitting your day up like Peele does can help keep things interesting and make the work day seem shorter (push-ups optional!).

2. They take one small break

2. They take one small break
Sheryl Sandberg takes an iced coffee break at Allen and Co’s Sun Valley mogul retreat.
Paul Sakuma/AP Images

In addition to checking things off their work to-do list, successful people take a little break to do something for themselves. Life and work is all about balance (we know you’ve heard that before!), and it’s important to not allow yourself to get burnt out before lunchtime. Take a mini-break: meditate in your office, take a walk around the block, go get your favorite iced coffee, or otherwise treat yourself.

3. They stay positive

If you are groggy or over-worked, it can be easy to be negative. But instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your life right now, turn your thoughts into positives. When you get frustrated or stressed or feel like you simply don’t have enough time in the day, take a small moment to write down the things about your job you are grateful for. Go back through the list every time you need a little pick-me-up!

4. They do their most dreaded task first

It can be easy to procrastinate on that dreaded task until the end of your day — which means it will be in your head for as long as you choose to put it off. This can add unnecessary stress and negativity to your day, and you don’t need that. Do your least desirable task as soon as you get in the office, and then the rest of your day will feel like a breeze.

5. They’re always focused on improving

5. They're always focused on improving
Tennis star Venus Williams constantly thinks about how to get better.
Matthew Stockman/Getty

According to Venus Williams, she is constantly thinking about what she needs to do next in order to keep improving. She told Fast Company, “It’s an addiction, but I always think about how to get better. Everything is geared toward that.” Ask yourself: What’s one thing you can do with the intention of “getting better” before noon?

6. They get to work early

You’ve heard that the early bird gets the worm, and in most cases, it’s true. Successful people get to work earlier and get started on that to-do list sooner. An ultra-productive day doesn’t start by hitting snooze and then inevitably arriving late to the office, stressed about the fact that your day is now out of whack. Do what needs to be done to wake up early (including by going to bed earlier if necessary).

7. They complete something off their personal to-do list, too

7. They complete something off their personal to-do list, tooKate Aedon/Shutterstock

If your life feels like it only revolves around work, it can become discouraging. Make a personal to-do list of one or two things you want to accomplish before noon, as well, whether it’s working out, reading the news or listening to a podcast. You’ll feel accomplished and as though you’ve achieved a little personal growth in addition to the professional. So cross it off that list and move on to your workplace goals.

 

 

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Kita – Chapter 52 – Will I Ever See Her Again?

I’m standing here in the salon looking in the mirror of the little vanity near the back. Kita did her spray tan and has left in an awkward drunken silence.

I’m still trying to get my head around what just happened. I met this girl a year ago. A confused young girl. (See: Kita – Double Dip)

I liked spending time with her and helped and counseled her with all of her social and boy issues.

I guided her as best I could with my wisdom and knowledge. She would stick around the salon for hours asking my advice on everything relating to her dating life. She had no clue about dating or navigating romantic relationships.

She’s a bit of a mess. Fit, young, beautiful and very confused. It seems that due to her absent father and her parents in general she didn’t have the tools in place to make her way into adulthood.

She found a friend in me and trusted me. She rarely took my advice as do many of the people I’ve tried to help in this world.

You can’t know the exact thing a person should do in a situation based on your experience. You can share this precious information with them, and 99% of the time they’ll not take it and then do what they think is right.

It’s always wrong.

This has happened over and over with people in my life. It seems that when people need help they just need someone to talk to. Someone to listen to their problems. But ultimately everybody’s going to do what they think is right and most of the time it’s absolutely wrong.

This has been the case with Kita.

But something else happened along the way.

I was instantly attracted to her because she was so cute, and those legs! But that’s just my shallow desire rearing its hungry head.

She in turn began to have feelings for me as well. Probably looking for something she never got from her on father.

But it went further.

The special little dates she agreed to. The little presents I bought her. The flirting, the stolen kisses and bits of intimate play that happened between us on occasion.

But then other things happened. The oral sex incident in the gym that day, and worst of all… the mad after hours sexual encounter on the very sink I’m leaning on right now.

I stare into the mirror.

I search my own eyes for how this could have happened.

But who am I kidding?

I met her, charmed her, courted her and dated her. She’s 22! She has no clue about anything. She grew up in a sheltered rich family. I’m a good sales guy. I liked her and loved spending time with this little cutie as much as a clueless frustrating project as she has been for me.

Things happened between us in this very salon. She shows up at closing drunk and upset. What do I do?

I strike.

I would never take advantage of an impaired woman but she gave me every sign that she wanted to play.

I’ve had mad desire for Kita for a long time. I’ve wanted her and so many of the other girls that come in here for a long time.

But most disappear, or move away, or on with their lives. But if a young lithe gazelle lies down right in front of the lion, I will take down my quarry.

I think based on our conversation before any of this sexual activity happened she started to realize my value.

I think for a very long time Kita didn’t get it.

She probably still doesn’t. You can’t learn your life lessons in a couple of weeks. It can take years.

But I saw opportunity and I took it. Things have been complicated with Cherie and me for a while now and maybe I was just acting out, because I really wanted that positive energy with Cherie.

Who am I kidding? I’m bored with Cherie, her absence and problems. Kita is a hot little baby and I wanted her so bad before this happened.

Which brings us to tonight.

I broke Rule #3 at the salon. (A rule I created 2 years ago.) “You’re available, but not available.” Which means, you can be single but you can’t date the clients. If it goes badly we lose a client because of my dalliances. I get it. It’s a good rule. Never dip your pen in the company’s ink. I learned that back in the 80’s early on my banking career.

But it happened.

I loved all of it.

I’m bad.

Did I screw up a young girl’s mind after all of the trust I had built over the last year?

Why did I do this?

I wanted her so bad. Even though Kita’s a foolish young girl, I had great desire for her sexually. Even from the start. All of the food, gifts, treats, and dates. It was all me just courting her. I thought I was trying to show her how these loser boys should be treating her. That she had value and how she should be treated. But that was only half of who I am. That part was true. I love romance. I’m sooo good at it. Better than most men. But that may make me worse than other men. I’m more cunning than most men. I write a dating and relationship blog. I’m really good at this.

Did I use my cunning to fuck Kita?

Unlike most men, I’m complex and patient. We all want the same thing but only the rare few can play it so that we get what we want by being the one thing that most men lack.

Patience.

I’m the snake whose tail looks like it’s head. The prey is watching the tail thinking it’s the head, until they feel the steel jaws snap shut on their throats in final ecstasy.

I think all the while being kind to Kita, and giving her fatherly guidance, I was grooming her to be mine.

That’s a double-edged sword that I’ve been yielding to my own advantage and it met my end goal.

What if she’s simply too ashamed to ever come here again? What if she says something to somebody? What if she tells her mom or even worse, her dad. The entire company will come for me.

Nah… that’s not going to happen, right?

Do I feel guilty?

Not really, because the encounters have been sooooo good.

I have to be honest about all of this. She’s an adult and she came here and did act provocative to me on both occasions.

I don’t want to stand here and justify the situation. It is what it is. I learned a long time ago that you shouldn’t feel guilty about the past because you can’t change it. It’s already done and gone. Even if only the memory remains.

She won’t say anything to my partner Achilles. (See: Achilles – The Bronze God)  No, that wouldn’t be possible. It’s just me being paranoid.

I hope she isn’t feeling too ashamed about it all.

She appeared to really enjoy it. When she left she was giggling and talking about her spray tan. (Even if her cute legs were a little wobbly when she left)

I can’t think about this.

But I am.

I steady myself and think about how incredible it was to fuck Kita like an animal after all of this courting and nonsense. The dopamine courses through my mind and washes away the fear of any retribution. The pure exhilaration of running down my prey and having her.

I want her again.

But it may never happen, because after tonight I may have destroyed that.

I’ll just carry on like it never happened. Like every other thing in my life I’ve wronged.

I don’t even know if she got back to her apartment okay.

That alarms me for a moment, but I quickly let it go.

Well… we’ll see what the coming days bring. Kita could vanish from my life and this salon for all the right reasons and I’d be fine with that.

Because what begins… ends. Everything in this world has an expiration date on it.

 

I hit the lights and lock up the salon.

I walk south on 16th street and enjoy the cool night air.

I lean into the memories of what happened with sweet little Kita tonight and smile.

 

Did I forget to punch out?

 

 

 

Signs Your Girlfriend May Be Cheating

If you have been settled into a relationship with your girlfriend for some time, you may think everything is great, and you are set for life with that special someone. However, things don’t always work out that way, as many men have learned from experience. Finding out your girlfriend has been or may be cheating can be devastating for any man. However, it is far better to know than to just bury your head in the sand.

So, how can you determine whether your girlfriend is cheating? Well, the last thing you want to do is destroy the trust in the relationship by accusing her if you have no grounds for doing so. This is why you need to do a little digging first to get a better idea of what is going on. Once you have some sort of proof or your suspicions are strengthened, you can then consider whether or not to speak to her about it. In this article, we will look at some of the signs that could indicate she is cheating.

Key Signs to Look Out For:

There are a number of key signs that you should look out for if you want to get a better idea of whether you partner may be cheating on you. One thing you may notice is a sudden increase in the number of calls she is making or receiving. In some cases, she may take these calls into another room or put the phone down when you come into the room. If you feel that she is being cagey with the calls she receives, you may want to delve deeper. For instance, you could do a cell phone number lookup to find out who has been calling her.

Another thing you can do is to look at any changes in the way she uses social media. For instance, in the past, you may have looked at social media posts together and had a laugh over various posts and photos. However, you may have noticed that she is far more secretive lately, and that she makes sure her device is not in your line of sight when using social media. She may even close her laptop or switch her phone screen off when you come in or move close to her. These are all possible signs that she is up to something on social media and private chat.

Her behaviors and appearance could also give an indication of whether she is cheating. For instance, maybe she has started dressing up a lot more and applying more makeup. She may have started spending more time going out without you. Some women may start ‘working late’ more often and coming home at all sorts of odd hours.

While these signs do not mean your girlfriend is definitely cheating, they can provide a good indication of what she is up to. You can then decide whether you want to confront her or wait to see if you can gather more evidence.

 

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