I’m standing here in the salon looking in the mirror of the little vanity near the back. Kita did her spray tan and has left in an awkward drunken silence.
I’m still trying to get my head around what just happened. I met this girl a year ago. A confused young girl. (See: Kita – Double Dip)
I liked spending time with her and helped and counseled her with all of her social and boy issues.
I guided her as best I could with my wisdom and knowledge. She would stick around the salon for hours asking my advice on everything relating to her dating life. She had no clue about dating or navigating romantic relationships.
She’s a bit of a mess. Fit, young, beautiful and very confused. It seems that due to her absent father and her parents in general she didn’t have the tools in place to make her way into adulthood.
She found a friend in me and trusted me. She rarely took my advice as do many of the people I’ve tried to help in this world.
You can’t know the exact thing a person should do in a situation based on your experience. You can share this precious information with them, and 99% of the time they’ll not take it and then do what they think is right.
It’s always wrong.
This has happened over and over with people in my life. It seems that when people need help they just need someone to talk to. Someone to listen to their problems. But ultimately everybody’s going to do what they think is right and most of the time it’s absolutely wrong.
This has been the case with Kita.
But something else happened along the way.
I was instantly attracted to her because she was so cute, and those legs! But that’s just my shallow desire rearing its hungry head.
She in turn began to have feelings for me as well. Probably looking for something she never got from her on father.
But it went further.
The special little dates she agreed to. The little presents I bought her. The flirting, the stolen kisses and bits of intimate play that happened between us on occasion.
But then other things happened. The oral sex incident in the gym that day, and worst of all… the mad after hours sexual encounter on the very sink I’m leaning on right now.
I stare into the mirror.
I search my own eyes for how this could have happened.
But who am I kidding?
I met her, charmed her, courted her and dated her. She’s 22! She has no clue about anything. She grew up in a sheltered rich family. I’m a good sales guy. I liked her and loved spending time with this little cutie as much as a clueless frustrating project as she has been for me.
Things happened between us in this very salon. She shows up at closing drunk and upset. What do I do?
I would never take advantage of an impaired woman but she gave me every sign that she wanted to play.
I’ve had mad desire for Kita for a long time. I’ve wanted her and so many of the other girls that come in here for a long time.
But most disappear, or move away, or on with their lives. But if a young lithe gazelle lies down right in front of the lion, I will take down my quarry.
I think based on our conversation before any of this sexual activity happened she started to realize my value.
I think for a very long time Kita didn’t get it.
She probably still doesn’t. You can’t learn your life lessons in a couple of weeks. It can take years.
But I saw opportunity and I took it. Things have been complicated with Cherie and me for a while now and maybe I was just acting out, because I really wanted that positive energy with Cherie.
Who am I kidding? I’m bored with Cherie, her absence and problems. Kita is a hot little baby and I wanted her so bad before this happened.
Which brings us to tonight.
I broke Rule #3 at the salon. (A rule I created 2 years ago.) “You’re available, but not available.” Which means, you can be single but you can’t date the clients. If it goes badly we lose a client because of my dalliances. I get it. It’s a good rule. Never dip your pen in the company’s ink. I learned that back in the 80’s early on my banking career.
But it happened.
I loved all of it.
Did I screw up a young girl’s mind after all of the trust I had built over the last year?
Why did I do this?
I wanted her so bad. Even though Kita’s a foolish young girl, I had great desire for her sexually. Even from the start. All of the food, gifts, treats, and dates. It was all me just courting her. I thought I was trying to show her how these loser boys should be treating her. That she had value and how she should be treated. But that was only half of who I am. That part was true. I love romance. I’m sooo good at it. Better than most men. But that may make me worse than other men. I’m more cunning than most men. I write a dating and relationship blog. I’m really good at this.
Did I use my cunning to fuck Kita?
Unlike most men, I’m complex and patient. We all want the same thing but only the rare few can play it so that we get what we want by being the one thing that most men lack.
I’m the snake whose tail looks like it’s head. The prey is watching the tail thinking it’s the head, until they feel the steel jaws snap shut on their throats in final ecstasy.
I think all the while being kind to Kita, and giving her fatherly guidance, I was grooming her to be mine.
That’s a double-edged sword that I’ve been yielding to my own advantage and it met my end goal.
What if she’s simply too ashamed to ever come here again? What if she says something to somebody? What if she tells her mom or even worse, her dad. The entire company will come for me.
Nah… that’s not going to happen, right?
Do I feel guilty?
Not really, because the encounters have been sooooo good.
I have to be honest about all of this. She’s an adult and she came here and did act provocative to me on both occasions.
I don’t want to stand here and justify the situation. It is what it is. I learned a long time ago that you shouldn’t feel guilty about the past because you can’t change it. It’s already done and gone. Even if only the memory remains.
She won’t say anything to my partner Achilles. (See: Achilles – The Bronze God) No, that wouldn’t be possible. It’s just me being paranoid.
I hope she isn’t feeling too ashamed about it all.
She appeared to really enjoy it. When she left she was giggling and talking about her spray tan. (Even if her cute legs were a little wobbly when she left)
I can’t think about this.
But I am.
I steady myself and think about how incredible it was to fuck Kita like an animal after all of this courting and nonsense. The dopamine courses through my mind and washes away the fear of any retribution. The pure exhilaration of running down my prey and having her.
I want her again.
But it may never happen, because after tonight I may have destroyed that.
I’ll just carry on like it never happened. Like every other thing in my life I’ve wronged.
I don’t even know if she got back to her apartment okay.
That alarms me for a moment, but I quickly let it go.
Well… we’ll see what the coming days bring. Kita could vanish from my life and this salon for all the right reasons and I’d be fine with that.
Because what begins… ends. Everything in this world has an expiration date on it.
I hit the lights and lock up the salon.
I walk south on 16th street and enjoy the cool night air.
I lean into the memories of what happened with sweet little Kita tonight and smile.
Did I forget to punch out?
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