Feminists Freak Out After Discovering Men Don’t Want To Date ‘Woke’ Women

It turns out, there is an entire segment of men — even, perhaps, a rather large one — that has sworn off dating “woke women,” and feminists, predictably, are quite angry about it.

One writer at the women’s lifestyle site, Refinery 29, gave voice to the collective feminist angst on Wednesday, when she penned an emotional, several-thousand-word essay, bemoaning the men who “deny racism and sexism,” perpetuate the Patriarchy, decry white privilege, and, ultimately, declaring those who refuse to pair up with the women who could give them comprehensive lectures on the subject over vegan meals, “insidious.”

The problem all started with British drama star, Laurence Fox, who declared, on the BBC, that he does not believe criticism of Duchess Meghan stems from racism, and then followed up his transgression against social justice by insisting in the pages of one of the United Kingdom’s top newspapers that he does not date woke women.

That is all just too much for feminists, it seems, who, despite swearing off men so often it’s practically their pledge of allegiance, want desperately to have the pick of men to partner with — and to deny them such a variety is, apparently, oppressive, sexist, and, for good measure, very “Donald Trump.”

“He thinks that it’s ‘institutionally racist’ to tell the story of the First World War in a racially diverse way, irrespective of the fact that Sikh soldiers absolutely fought for Britain,” the gobsmacked writer wails. “And he also doesn’t believe in white privilege, irrespective of the fact that he works in a painfully undiverse industry, was privately educated and comes from a wealthy acting family which is nothing short of a dynasty.”

The nerve.

But it gets worse. Fox’s lack of woke bona fides is actually causing an entire generation of woke women mental harm.

“Fox is denying racism and sexism,” she writes, “irrespective of whether or not they exist. It’s nothing short of gaslighting… It’s all very Donald Trump.”

Of course it is.

The author says she could go to great lengths to prove just how wrong Fox is — that “white privilege” exists, and that “institutionalized racism” is effectively eliminated by, say, including a single Sikh soldier in a movie about World War I, but she won’t, because Fox is clearly mentally ill (he does, after all, like arguing with feminists on Twitter, so she may not be wrong). And she could joke about Fox’s lack of wokeness, but in perhaps the most feminist line in the entire article, she insists that there’s nothing about his behavior that’s funny.

She simply says he should be deplatformed before his ideas creep into the psyches of other males, who then start refusing to date feminists, too. But unfortunately for her, it’s already happening.

To illustrate her point, she writes, in what can only be “hushed tones,” about the men she and her friends have matched with on dating apps who say “openly sexist and misogynistic things” in their Tindr bios (like “I hate big eyebrows” or “no psychos,” two terms the author unintentionally reveals to be effective at weeding her out of the dating pool), and who hold “right-wing views” even if they consider themselves liberal.

There’s even a rash of men, she writes in horror, who have read Jordan Peterson, who has suggested that “white privilege” is a lie and that pursuing “social justice” is a pointless and toxic endeavor.

These men, she says, then have a tendency to group together which, she posits, is how humanity got “incels” and online white supremacist chat rooms, though without any evidentiary support. Men who don’t like feminists should not be allowed to associate with anyone else, she seems to suggest, lest they share wrong ideas.

And make no mistake, their ideas are wrong. “When you’re used to privilege, equality feels like oppression,” she says.

The good news is, these men who refuse to date woke women are responsible for everything from the murder of a Labour MP several years ago before Brexit, to the rise of Donald Trump, to the continued oppression of the entire female gender (to the extent that gender still exists), to “Megxit” — Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s decision to leave the UK to find a new life in Canada — to the rise of right-wing media.

But if this all sounds as though the author is demonizing these men who simply wouldn’t consider her for a date, rest assured, she is. After all, despite devoting thousands of words to the subject of being these men’s sworn enemy, she is not, in fact, an enemy at all, except in their imaginations.

 

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Tinder Moments: 13 Trashy Tinder Moments From People With No Shame

The place where self-respect goes to DIE.

I used to collect these all the time and run them here on the blog. I don’t do these anymore, but I’ve recently dug out a few of these nuggets for your enjoyment!
    • 1
      Clothing - Mir, 23 18 miles away Baby daddy decided he needed tinder so mama decided she should to0

  • 2
    Text - Maggie, 21 UC San Diego 16 miles away The only thing more open than 24/7 convenience stores are my legs If you buy me dinner, 'll make you breakfast I'll give you more happy endings than a children's storybook

  • 3
    Hair - Kristen, 25 10 miles away Who wants to practice their Australian kiss. It's like the French except you go down under

  • 4
    Hair - Abby, 21 Penn State 27 miles away 100% guarantee I will call you Daddy and cry after sex

  • 5
    Text - Catherine, 22 New England Institute of Technology 35 miles away at least my dad is dead so you don't have to worry about getting his approval

  • 6
    Eyewear - Jasmine, 20 27 miles away Fresh university drop out! Hobbies are: singing, drawing, reading, crying myself to sleep after thinking too hard about my future, and long walks up and down the luxurious Mall Looking for: someone kind, smart, funny, that can financially support another person and potentially help that person get out of debt, and is easy to talk to.

  • 7
    Product - Isabell, 22 3 miles away Our relationship should be like Nintendo 64- classic, fun to spend hours with, and every issue easily fixed by blowing on it then shoving it back in.

  • 8
    Hair - Kiya, 19 Victoria's Secret PINK University of Leth bridge 18 kilometers away I will kill spiders for you gag reflex as absent as my dad and the only thing lower than my standards is my self esteem

  • 9
    Text - Zane, 24 Funeral home Earlham College less than a mile away Winter is coming and heated blankets are getting pricey. Save money and cut down on your heating bill by taking home this big guy. He's polite, funny, house broken and a good listener that can binge watch Netflix for hours on end. So stop stressing over thread counts or dry clean only quilts and hunker down with a large pizza and this hunk. Get you a big guy today!!

  • 10
    Product - BEER DOWN Denée, 26 e The University of Arizona 5 miles away Boys call me Dumbledore because I'm the headmaster

  • 11
    Hair - Jordan, 19 89 miles away Tinder needs a filter: -no ugly guys -not too short sexy voice - tan - strong and muscles and abs not too much of a douche And if you're uglier then your tinder profile, I'm gonna stop talking to you

  • 12
    Face - Katelyn, 28 10 miles away Let's see what trash tinder brings to my doorstep... Don't have over 100k in your savings yet? Don't make over 300k/year? Then go away. Made enough to never work again? You're on the top of the list Long term ONLY I am a gold digger AND a men's rights activist Nerds preferred but not mandatory

  • 13
    Product - Hannah, 21 4 miles away Got a bf but looking for some side action

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Rebecca – Chapter 7 – Cypress and the Oak – Part 4

I met Rebecca 3 years ago on a date. Rebecca has recently made an appearance in my life so I thought I’d re-run this series so everyone won’t have to go back and search for her series to catch up. Enjoy!

Fall of 2016

Rebecca was ripping into her slices. Baby was happy. She seemed liberated from tonight’s heartbreaking tale. I love to see a lady eat. I hope I can cook for her one day.

“Okay, so what ultimately happened to the Hiroshima twins?”

“Well my buddy went back to Belfast to study law to become a barrister and I kept in touch a little bit with the sisters.”

“That was the end of it?”

“Well one night big sister calls me and says that there is some great band playing at Madam Wong’s East in Chinatown. So I go, and she and baby sister are there and the three of us are hanging out. I’m burning pretty clean that night because I’m driving. Now my buddy has been gone for months. Baby sister isn’t into me at all. I’m fine with that, she’s still with older guy. What if that dude was married the whole time and she’s just his side piece? That would be crazy, but I wouldn’t rule it out. So baby sister ends up leaving and I hang with older sister. She’s a great girl, and ex-girlfriend from one of my best friends in the world. We’re living it up and dancing, and having a great time at the show. I wish I remember who was playing. (T-Bone Burnett) But if I can’t remember they couldn’t have been that great. I’m happy to be with her and then she tells me something. She says that when we initially met, she was really liking me. She wanted me but settled on my buddy when she saw I was into her younger sister. I ended up making out with her that night. There was some grabbing under the table but not much else. I wasn’t that into her but she was a sweet girl. I liked the fact that she was always into me though. We both had a great time and then she went home. I never saw either of them again.”

“It’s still a good story.”

“I guess. One of many. One of the more tame ones.”

“Oh really?”

“Well I was in a band.”

“Ok, rockstar, but I still liked the idea that the younger sister was in love with the older gentleman. She knew what she liked.”

“I suppose.”

“Do you go on Tinder a lot?”

“Hardly ever now. I can’t really be bothered with it. It seems so superficial.” (Bold-Faced Lie. I’m writing a dating blog!)

“Me either. I’m kinda done with it. You’ve been amazing tonight. Thank you so much for seeing me and listening to all of my woes. I feel so much better. I’m glad I let it out. I hope you’re not freaked out by it. I know you didn’t ‘Super Like’ me on Tinder but I’m glad we met just the same.”

“Well for the record, you didn’t ‘Super Like’ me either.” I laughed to make light of this nonsense.

“I know it’s all so silly.”

“Well if it’s any consolation, Rebecca, I’m not afraid to say that I super like you now and hope I can see you again soon. You’re smart and beautiful and I’ve really enjoyed our time together. The museum was amazing because of you, and tonight has been wonderful. I’m just happy to be with you. There. Complete transparency, okay?”

“I know we didn’t do the Fringe Festival but I was just trying to think of stuff to do with you and then I went through my crap. Can we plan something soon?”

My heart is soaring. “Of course. Let’s text and or call. Whatever you want Rebecca. To be honest with you I dated an actress for a while and she liked all that Fringe stuff and I kind of hate it all. It’s fringe for a reason.”

“I agree. Maybe we could go to the movies. I don’t care what we see. I trust you’ll pick and it’ll be good. I’m thinking buttery popcorn and candy.”

“I’ll find something good. Maybe I can email you a few previews and we can agree on something.”

“No. You pick. We’re both busy. We’ll make it work. Let’s do a Saturday matinée and then grab drinks afterward so we can chat about the film!”

How great is this? Did I rub a lamp and did this girl come out of it?  We crushed most of the pie. She says how she’s going to be fat from eating so much pizza, but I assure her she won’t gain any weight if none of her girlfriends see her do it, so it doesn’t count. Like eating Snickers bars or drinking alone. Oh, wait, that second one is something else.

The bill comes and there is some pie left and we ask for a box. I say to her how it’s funny that the first part of our second date was her story, and then part two was somehow a tale from my past. She says how she would like to hear more of my stories and is fascinated by life and different experiences. She says she’d love to travel, but it’s expensive. I tell her I just got my passport for the first time. She says she likes to go to the seashore and I hold back that there is a shore house in my family a block and a half from the beach in North Wildwood. Too early. I like to play some great songs, but don’t play the hits too early. Let’s see where this is going. If it somehow progresses, I’d love to take her to the shore. Just to take a break from the city, and commune with nature by the sea. Oh, who am I kidding? It’ll look like a hooker hotel room in Jersey City in the heat of the night.

I insist on paying. Rebecca giggles and tells me I have to pay because her credit card may be maxed our from her last transaction. “Totally worth it.” She says.

It’s late. She has to work tomorrow and save lives. I have to write about this. We walk outside and Philadelphia is surprisingly quiet for once. I’ve had a lovely time with this treasure. The night is clear and the buildings are familiar. I’ve been on this odyssey for the last ten years and all I can think of is ‘Here we go again’. But I love the euphoria of this moment. The exhilaration of new love. I know that’s what it is. No one has said it. She may not even know what it is. She’s had a measure of the pain and searing anguish of love with Derrick, but here it is again. She seems interested in me and may not know what kind of animal she has caught in her snare. But I’m willing to be caught and ready to go.

“I’ve had a wonderful night with you.” She says, taking my hands in hers. She looks up at me. Her eyes are dark and full of light. I don’t question what’s happening. “Thank you so much for your time tonight. I can’t thank you enough. I feel like you fixed me. I have been wearing armor my whole life and when I take it off I always get hurt. I feel like I’m safe when I’m with you.” She lifts her hands slowly and gently touches my cheeks and kisses me gently. Her kisses are soft and sincere.

That’s the difference.

There’s no faking that.

Ever.

 

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How To Start Dating Again After a Breakup, Divorce, or Dry Spell

Whether you’ve been off the market for a few weeks, months, years, or decades, getting back out there is no easy feat, especially if you’re not confident about how to start dating again. Common sense might urge you to be vulnerable, open yourself up for possible rejection, and be okay with the notion of kissing a few frogs in the process of finding a compatible partner. Sound intimidating? No problem if so, because it can be intimidating.

The mere thought of going out on a date after a rough breakup, divorce, or extra-long dry spell might induce feelings of anxiety. Because, for one, where do you even start? Sign up for a dating app? Hire a matchmaker? Slide into people’s DMs? Theoretically, any of those strategies could work, but to help you feel extra-confident in your intention to learn how to start dating again, a few experts share their advice below. Keep reading to snag their top tips for getting back out there, once and for all.

Your 10-step guide for how to start dating again

1. CLOSE THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Perhaps it should go without saying, but before you return to the dating pool, you need to be over your previous relationship so you can officially close that chapter in your life. Without taking this prerequisite step to finding new connections, you run the risk of either getting stuck in the past or bringing that emotional baggage with you on your dates.

“Turn the page, move on to the next chapter,” says Tammy Shaklee, relationship expert and LGBTQ+ matchmaker of H4M Matchmaking. “There is more to the story: Your long life is a series of chapters, with some more joyful than others and some more tragic. But keep turning the page and grow based on what you have experienced and learned.”

2. TAP BACK INTO WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it’s likely that you may have disconnected, at least in some sense, what you personally love doing with what you enjoy doing as a couple. That’s why Shaklee recommends reconnecting with yourself and writing out a list of what brings you, and you first, joy. Maybe it’s riding a bike, going to the farmers’ market, cooking a new recipe for dinner, or something else. Not only will this practice help you come up with fun date ideas, but it can also help you identify common interests you may have with potential partners.

3. FOCUS ON SELF-LOVE

Before considering how to start dating again, focus on finding self-love, because you can’t love another person without first and foremost loving yourself. “Love who you are today,” Shaklee says. “Cherish your tenacity on your journey. Celebrate who you have become through the many chapters you have experienced in life. Remind yourself that you are an eligible single.”

4. GET CLARITY ON YOUR NEEDS

Starting to date before you’ve gotten clear on what you’re looking for in a partner is like driving around without knowing where you’re going. Before you go out on your first date, relationship coach Laurel House recommends getting clear on your non-negotioable needs in a partner and a relationship. To that point, she notes that there’s a big difference between needs and wants: “Needs are what you actually need, or else the relationship will fail,” she says. These may include feeling safe, sexy, and seen, and able to participate in two-way communication. Wants, such as physical characteristics, for example, are like the cherry on top; they’re nice, but they’re not a required part of the foundation of the relationship.

5. TAKE YOUR TIME BEFORE GETTING OUT THERE—BUT NOT TOO MUCH TIME

Rushing into dating again before you’re truly ready is not a recipe for success, House says. You may still be holding on to negative emotions from your past relationship which may come across on your dates with potential mates. So don’t be afraid to take your time with getting back out there. That said, don’t wait too long. Not feeling ready yet can quickly just become an excuse that holds you back from your romantic future and destiny. “Some of us feel lonely in our box, but we get so comfortable that we are afraid to leave it,” she says. So, give yourself a deadline and do your best to stick with it.

6. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO START DATING AGAIN

So you’ve healed from your breakup and stepped up your self-love quotient—now what? House suggests giving yourself permission to start dating again. To do this, get out a real piece of paper, and write yourself a permission slip to go out on dates. This may sound very simple and even silly, but oftentimes, people feel they need to wait for something external or a sign to green-light their choices. In actuality, though, all they really need is to decide for themselves.

7. THROW THE DATING RULES OUT THE WINDOW

If it’s been a heady amount of time since you last dated, don’t feel like you need to catch up on all the current dating rules. “Don’t do what you think you should,” House says. “Instead, do what feels good and right to you.” Let your intuition guide the way.

8. KEEP THE CONVERSATION LIGHT AT THE BEGINNING

Divulging your entire life story on the first date? Perhaps not the best idea of all time. Shaklee suggests keeping the conversation on the first few dates focused on lighthearted topics and to wait until the fourth date to share about more serious things. “You do not want to scare off the other person by sharing too much (or asking too much) too soon,” she says.

9. TRY ALL THE DIFFERENT WAYS OF MEETING PEOPLE

If you’re serious about learning how to start dating again, House recommends not leaving things up to chance and using every possible avenue to meet new people. Try dating apps, in-person meet-up groups, working with a matchmaker, signing up for a class that interests you, or even making yourself available to connect with someone while you’re in line at the grocery store. And use your personal network, too. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and let your outer-circle friends know that you’re single in case they know of anyone.

10. PACE YOURSELF

Dating is a not a sprint to cross some finish line. It’s a process. It takes time to first find the right person, and then get to know them. That’s why Shaklee recommends finding joy in the process rather than trying to rush it. “Even if it ends up not being a romantic or love connection, perhaps you will meet a new buddy,” she says.

 

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15 Smooth Pickup Lines For Dating App Matches That’ll Get Replies

One of the toughest parts of the dating game is keeping the apps feeling fresh. It’s difficult to come up with smooth pickup lines for dating app matches that would actually get replies. Luckily for you and I both, I was on the apps for long enough that I managed to master the art. And now I feel as though it’s my duty to you, dear reader, to share some of my best pieces of wisdom.

The trick to crafting an absolutely perfect opening message on a dating app is to understand first what you’re looking for with this experience. Some pickup lines work extremely well if you’re trying to just hook up with someone. Others are great if you’re trying to just start a conversation and see where it goes. Then, finally, there are the ones that could lead you towards something a little more substantial — they’re relationship-material and shouldn’t be deployed unless you’re open to a potentially deep connection. No matter what you’re looking for, I have got you totally and completely covered, my friend. Charge your phone before you read these because it’s about to start blowing up. Ready?

If you’re looking to get to know them better…

Indoor photo of satisfied teenage girl texts on cellular, reads interesting article online, wears casual outfit, creats new publication on own web page, isolated over brown studio wall with free space

Shutterstock

OK, let’s say you’re attracted to this person but you’re not getting a whole lot of intel on who they are based on the two grainy group pics from college and the empty bio that comprise their entire profile. You’d like to get a better sense of who this person is before you commit to spending (at least!) an hour of your life hanging out with them IRL, so I’d suggest you initiate a conversation with one of the following questions to give you some more intel on their personality:

1. “Ready for a game of ‘F*ck, Marry, Kill?'” Games are a great, light-hearted way to get to know someone a little better.

2. “It’s Friday and you just got off work after a long week. What’s next?” This question can be a huge character tell and, honestly, a great way to weed out people who may not be a great match for you right off the bat. If you’re a super social person, you’re probably not going to do well in a relationship with someone who wants to spend the weekend in their apartment binge-watching shows alone. Might as well get it all out there from the start.

3. “If you could quit your job and do anything with your life, what would your next move be?” This is a great way to tap into someone’s dreams to see if they at all align with yours. Your dreams, of course, don’t have to be the same but it’s a great way to see what the person is truly passionate about.

4. “What would you do if you won the lottery?” This question helps you get to know the person on so many levels. First, you get to see how they handle money (are they savers or spenders?). Second, you get to see what they choose to spend their money on, which can offer you some pretty great insight on what their values are.

5. “Where was that third pic taken? It looks amazing.” Asking about your match’s adventures is a surefire way to get them talking.

If you’re looking for a quick hookup…

Let’s say you want some no-strings-attached fun. You’re not looking for anything serious, you just want to get laid. Or, at the very least, get a solid make-out sesh in. Your best mode of operation here is to be as up front as possible with one of these straight-forward messages:

1. “You’re hot.” This is not the sort of message you send someone when you’re trying to build a lasting, meaningful relationship. It’s saying you’re only interested in one thing about them and it largely has to do with appearances. But it’s also making your intention clear while also flattering them. Win, win.

2. “So, what are you looking for on here?” Rather than blurting out, “Are you DTF?” this opening line puts the ball in your match’s court. It implies that you’re pretty direct and have a goal in mind. If you want your hookups delivered almost as quickly as your Seamless orders, this line could be a winner for you.

3. “You wanna come over and not watch a movie?” This is funny but it also makes it clear that you’re not just trying to, like, go on a date.

4. “I’d love to kiss your lips.” Kinda sweet, no?

5. “Hey sexy.” This strikes up a conversation with your mutual physical attraction right at the top. Warning: It might get steamy.

If you’re looking for something more substantial…

Whether it’s because you’ve just never been a casual dater or because you’ve casually dated so much that you’ve finally hit your limit, the fact of the matter is you’re no longer looking for something light and easy. You’re officially now only interested in finding the real deal and you can find partners who are also interested in finding that by sending the following messages:

1. “What’s your schedule looking like this week? You seem like someone I’d want to hang with IRL.” First of all, hanging out IRL is no easy feat these days — so that’s impressive. Second, this message is cutting to the chase. It’s not dilly-dallying and it’s not getting you in the dreaded text loop where the two of you chat for weeks on end but never ask each other out. If the person is down, you’ll go on a date. If not, you’ll move forward without having wasted your time.

2. “You free [day of the week you have something going on with friends]? I’m going to this [event] and would love a date if you’re down!” If this person is going to be a serious partner, you’re going to have to make sure they’re able to keep up with your friends and family. So why not throw them in the line of fire right off the bat? Invite them to an event you have going on and see how they react. If they’re down to tag along and act as a great date, you may have just found yourself a great potential partner.

3. “I’m looking for something serious, does that at all interest you?” If you’re looking for something serious, it’s important that you’re only talking to people who are also looking for something serious. One of the best ways to do that is by just asking right off the bat. If someone doesn’t respond, avoids the question, or just blatantly responds that they want something casual, then you can move on with minimal time wasted.

4. “It’s this exact day in the year 2045. What are you up to?” A huge part of being in a serious relationship is having similar goals and values. There’s no quicker way to find out what a person’s goals and values are than asking them what their life is going to look like almost 25 years from now. Are they married? Do they have kids? Do they think they’re going to be dead because the world is ending? Get a feel for whether or not they’re worthy of a substantial relationship by asking this question.

5. “Favorite Netflix show? GO.” I mean, let’s face it. If you wind up dating this person, a lot of what the two of you will be doing together is lounging on the couch watching shows. So why not make sure you’re into the same stuff right off the bat?

OK, now go forth and swipe!

 

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