4 Things Women Do To Attract Men (That Actually Chase Them Away)

The key to what men want when dating.

If you want to know how to get a guy to like you, there’s one thing you need to stop doing: chasing him!

Are you chasing after a man and don’t even know it?

When you chase a man, you not only tend to unwittingly push him away but, in the end, you don’t give him the chance to show you how he really feels about you.

I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man drift away.

We want to know what men want in a partner. We want a man to know we’re attracted and interested in him. We want to make it easy for him to ask us out again and consider being in a relationship with us. We want to seem enthusiastic and easygoing.

We know we’re not supposed to be chasing after him and, yet, we’re still doing it and in ways that we’re not even aware of.

We think being friendly is the same as showing interest in a man. We are taught to think that if we act “casual,” a man won’t notice that we’re actually chasing him.

But, the truth is, we are — chasing him, that is. And when we do things that seem like we’re chasing it’s a turn off for a man. He feels smothered and feels an aggressive vibe from you that does nothing to inspire him to want to get closer.

So, if you want to know how to be attractive and get a guy to like you, here are 4 things you need to avoid.

1. Calling him before he calls you

This includes calling him because you heard or read about something interesting. Or maybe you knew there was a great band playing somewhere and thought he might like it. Or someone told you about some great event that you want to invite him to or — anything at all.

It also includes calling to ask why he hasn’t called you.

2. Initiating contact

This involves emailing him, texting him, Facebooking him, sending him a cute card, dropping by his house, or in any way attempting to initiate some kind of contact.

3. Making suggestions or plans

You’re inviting him to come and join you or in any way acting like the social director of the relationship.

4. Asking him how he feels

This includes, especially, asking him how he feels about you or the relationship.

These are things we do almost without even thinking about it. These are things that feel natural to us and we excuse them by thinking we’re just being friendly.

And at the heart of this is one fear: Feeling like we’re going to lose him by not letting him know we’re interested in him. And nothing could be further from the truth!

Everything on this list is the same as putting a sign on your chest that screams needy. It smacks of desperation. And, it’s just plain not attractive to him.

He may like it. He may be flattered. He may have no one else around and so he’ll date you. He may even come to like you very much. You may even end up in a relationship with him.

But, you will never know how he really feels about you.

So, if you want to know how to make him want you, stop chasing after him.

Instead, figure out what men want in relationships and then work on yourself. Genuine attraction won’t be far off.


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10 thoughts on “4 Things Women Do To Attract Men (That Actually Chase Them Away)”

  1. Given point 2 (and also 1): how do you explain the success of Bumble dating app, where only female users can make the first contact with matched male users?

      1. Actually on Bumble the man doesn’t know yet her, it’s just matched to her by the system, there’s affinity according the system and nothing more.

        My explanation is: in such platform the first move by the woman is mandatory, therefore the man can’t see her as less worthy if she make the first move.
        While in the real world and in the other platforms, it’s the very opposite: tha man is expected to do the first move, therefore a woman making the first move is most times gonna devaluing herself.

      2. You make some interesting points. I had Timder, bumble, ok Cupid and coffee meets bagel when I began this blog 3 years ago. I have since deleted all of those dating apps to return to a more organic way of meeting women in the community. I think the fried and true methods of real human interaction are the best. But not everyone has the game I possess.

  2. I agree. I don’t like dating apps because I already drive a lot for my job and I’m not going to drive even more to meet women 50 or 100 miles away. The only time in my life I did make a profile on a dating app it was on Muslima, that is a dating app for muslim strict practicers. I was curious to read Muslim women’s profiles…

      1. Yes, the women on Muslima are looking for muslim men who practice Islam, pray at least three times per day (the usual phrase was “we’ll pray together”) and…are willing to properly keep care of a woman – such request was in most profiles: “I want him able to properly keep care of me”.
        In other words: hypergamy running wild + you can’t even drink a beer while at home 😀
        But it was interesting to read their profiles.

      2. My impression was: it’s a purely financial transaction wrapped in a religious package. Those women were mostly conservative muslims, hailing from places like Malaysia, Turkey and Saudi Arabia, so not very poor.

What are your thoughts on this subject?

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