Why Does Texting Fizzle Out So Easily During Early Dating? It’s So Common

If you’ve ever been texting with someone new and it seems to be going well (the conversation is flowing, there’s mutual interest on both sides), having them suddenly taper off or go silent can be frustrating AF. It can also be hella confusing. You’re left wondering, “What happened? Did they just suddenly lose interest? Was it something I said? Were they abducted by aliens?” OK, it probably wasn’t that last one, but as frustrating as it can be to have your text conversation fizzle out quickly early on, dating experts tell Elite Daily it’s not uncommon. So, at the very least, you know you’re not in it alone. Still, it can be helpful to understand why this happens, if only so you can see it coming or even avoid the texting fade out in the future.

Here’s what the experts say about text conversations drying up in the early stages of dating — and what, in some cases, you can do to prevent it from happening next time.

They’re Talking To Multiple People.

If you’re texting with someone you met through a dating app, Julie Spira, online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships says it’s likely they’re chatting with multiple people at the same time. In that case, the fizzle might have resulted from their divided attention. “An app like Tinder reports 1.6 billion swipes every day. This means your latest crush on a dating app is chatting with multiple people, and early on they could focus on one person, or just be overwhelmed and let a few conversations slide,” she tells Elite Daily. “It’s hard to keep that level of conversation going with multiple people. If someone isn’t feeling it as much, their response time will increase, until you get to the point that you could get ghosted, or your digital love connection will fade away.”

While this can be discouraging, Spira counsels to not let this modern dating issue get you down. “Don’t let it get to you. There are so many singles who’d like to chat, meet, and find a meaningful relationship. Find someone who’d like to be in it for the long haul,” she says.

The Chemistry Isn’t Quite Right.

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Texting can be a great way to start getting to know someone. Sometimes, the more you chat, the more you realize there’s a great vibe between you. But not always. As Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the Breakup BOOST podcast tells Elite Daily, a text conversation fizzling out might be a sign that the chemistry between you isn’t quite right. “Attraction may die down,” explains Leckie. “People [can also] realize they have less in common as time goes on.”

Eric Resnick, an online dating coach, agrees that a lack of chemistry is usually the cause for texting conversations to fade out. “It could be that the initial pull you felt toward each other wasn’t anything more than a passing attraction with no real chemistry,” he tells Elite Daily. Resnick adds, however, that it’s important not to let this experience make you try to be someone you’re not when texting. “Don’t worry about being cool and just try to be you. That will lead to much more genuine text conversations that lead somewhere, not ones that peter out because you don’t know how to outdo the last message you sent,” he says.

Over-Texting Can Be Detrimental To The “Vibe”.

When you first start texting with someone you’re attracted to, it can be easy to get caught up in the experience, and this, in turn, can lead to over-texting. Resnick warns this is another common cause for texting to fizzle out. “Early relationships can breed some over-exuberant behaviors. I’ve seen new couples where one person is so into the other that they’ll send three to five texts before even getting one back. This is a good way to push the other person away,” he warns. “If you are doing this, stop. If you send a text and don’t get a response in an hour or two, that’s fine. You don’t need to follow-up. In theory, the person you are dating has a life of their own,” Resnick explains.

It’s Just The Normal Slowdown In Texting Frequency.

Not all causes of text conversations slowing down are reasons to panic. A decrease in texting frequency may simply be a sign that your relationship has entered a new phase, explains Leckie. “It’s common to want to text non-stop when you first meet in the ‘butterfly stages,’ but naturally it will slow down as time goes on. This doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing,” she says. “It’s just a natural progression of a relationship and should only really be a cause for concern if it gets to the point where you are barely texting or feeling ignored.” That is to say, if all other signs in the relationship appear to be positive, it’s OK to just take a breath and not sweat fewer or less frequent texts.

How To Prevent The Fizzle In The Future.

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“Sometimes the text fizzle is just part of the natural cycle of things,” says Resnick. But that shouldn’t prevent you from doing something if you sense the conversation is dying out prematurely. If you think that’s the case, Resnick’s advice is fairly straightforward: “Don’t try so hard. Sometimes forcing it can kill it faster. So, relax. Don’t feel like you’ve got to send X amount of texts in a day. They don’t all have to be witty comments or hilarious memes. If you don’t give it too much power in your life, you can relax and use texting for what it’s meant to be: just a quick way to pass a periodic communication,” he says.

If you’ve been talking longer and feel like your connection is meaningful, Spira says it’s worth mentioning how you’re feeling. “Let the person know that you enjoy getting daily texts from them and that hearing from them puts a smile on your face. If they feel the same way too, they won’t let the conversation fade,” she explains.

The best approach, says Leckie, is to not sweat it too much and let nature take its course. “If two people really like each other and are a good fit, they will just automatically text more, have more to talk about, and make more of an effort. So then it really doesn’t have to be something that is thought about or worried about,” she says. “It’s important for people to make a concerted effort to touch base. It’s especially nice to reach out in the mornings and before you go to bed, if nothing else. You don’t want to start going a day or more without sending a text, because then not only will the texting be fizzling out, the relationship as a whole will as well,” she concludes.

In other words, conversation fizzle sometimes. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it’s just a sign that this person wasn’t the right one. Just keep being yourself, stay relaxed, and when it’s right, it’s right — with no fizzle in sight.

 

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6 Zodiac Signs Who Like Being The Submissive One In Their Relationship

Because dominance is overrated.

In romantic relationships, there are two types of people: the kinds of people who love to take control of plans and situations and those who prefer to stay in the background of things and just let it happen.

Some call these terms “submissive” and “dominant”. People often see them as an exchange of power.

Unless you love either role, playing each can feel risky, but there are certain zodiac signs who know exactly what they want in love, and that’s to give up their power and let another person take the lead.

Now, I’m not talking about in the bedroom. Rather, I’m talking about the everyday aspects of relationships – the nitty gritty stuff that makes you fall in and out of love with a person.

Astrology can tell us a lot about how people behave in relationships.

Taking into account their zodiac sign, you can assess how submissive or dominant zodiac women in relationships will be.

The following female astrological signs are the most likely to display submissive traits that demonstrate their desire to be obliging and amiable towards their partner.

Here are the 6 most powerful zodiac signs who love letting control go when they feel safe enough to be submissive in a relationship.

1. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

When it comes to relationships, Taurus women aren’t as dominant as other zodiac signs. They prefer to be indulged with the luxuries that relationships provide – both material and emotional pleasures.

Of course, this isn’t to say that Taurus women aren’t powerful, because they are. Instead, this means that they would rather be passive in the relationship and allow their partner to control the finer details such as where they would like to eat out or when they should leave for an event.

They’re incredibly patient, and OK with waiting for their partner.

2. GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

Every Gemini woman hates making decisions, especially in relationships. Therefore, you’ll rarely see a Gemini take a dominant role.

Geminis are adaptable and, sometimes, people-pleasers, so relying on their partners to make the important decisions is common for the twins.

In fact, being the submissive one in the relationship helps curb some of Gemini women’s nervousness and anxiety that’s inevitable for most twins in relationships (they worry about what others think of them).

However, Geminis have two personalities; they can be the dominant one on occasion.

3. VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Virgo women are fairly shy, which contributes to their desire to be the passive one in a relationship. A Virgo woman is highly critical of herself, so she may prefer to have her partner control different aspects of the relationship because she feels that he or she may be better than she is.

Though, Virgo women may be tempted to be submissive because they believe that is the best way to show how loyal and kind they can be. Regardless, a Virgo woman never oversteps her boundaries and prefers to stay on the sidelines.

4. LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Libras are focused on the idea of fairness, so they would like the relationship to allow a changing dynamic. Because Libra women are diplomatic, they will let their partner take the dominant role for a period of time and wait for their turn to be the dominant one in the relationship patiently.

While they may not always prefer the submissive role in the relationship, you can be sure that you’ll see Libra women willingly deferring to their partner in preparation for their turn to wear the pants in the relationship.

5. PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Whereas other women may just enjoy the position of being the less-dominant one in the relationship, Pisces women like the idea of helping their partner feel empowered and loved. Letting him or her make important decisions and “run the day,” in a sense, may be a Pisces woman’s way of telling her partner that she loves him or her.

Because Pisces women are selfless and endlessly compassionate, they want to please their partner in any ways they can – emotionally and physically. This includes enabling a Pisces woman’s partner to take control of some aspects of the relationship (to an extent, of course).

Check out this Scorpio!

 

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Sun Stories: Eileen – Chapter 2 – Getting to Know You

I feel like when I was doing all of those things I was a ghost in my own life.

Eileen started tonight. She’s 18 and beautiful. You’ve been reading phicklephilly, I have to get to that.

She arrives and is wearing a grey shirt and tights. All of the girls wear that now. I have no idea why. It’s too revealing of their curves.

Imagination is the king of fantasy.

I have three sisters and a daughter that lives with me. Our salon is built on respect to women and that’s maybe one of the reasons they choose us. We’re all about respect. (Well that, and the best pricing and the best equipment in the city!)

It’s Thursday. I miss Amelia who is awesome. I love having her here to help me navigate the nights here at the salon. But tonight I get to meet my hire.

Eileen arrives. She is wearing a grey shirt and black tights. She looks fine to work here. It’s sporty and conservative. She’s fine.

When it’s super busy in here she’ll probably go with a tank top and shorts but I digress. (Kidding!)

Eileen is my hire. I chose her. I knew she was amazing from the start.

Eileen is beautiful. She’s studying criminal law at Drexel and is a freshman.

No worries. I’m training her and she’s following me around like a pup and cleaning beds.

Just so you all know. I’ve had many opportunities to exploit my underlings but I never did that. I learned that from my father, Because he ALWAYS did that. And my daughter Lorelei and I are too BARR, (My mother’s side of the family) to pull that shit)

Eileen is doing a great job. I adore her.

I’ve killed myself for so long over so many shifts. I’m just happy to have the help. I have Cherie. I’m not going to try to tap Eileen. She’s like a daughter or a niece for god’s sakes.

“My patents split up when I was 3.”

“Me too. Lorelei was three and a half.”

“I have a half-brother. He’s nine and looks just like me.”

Shows me pics and that kid looks a lot like her.

Cute kid.

I show her pics of my daughter.

I love being around lovely Eileen.

New people intrigue me and we need help. She’s so pretty. I love that I always liked that. I love the sound of her voice. So sweet and like a song. I’m happy she made the call to join our team.

Last year it was Summer and me. I love Summer. So efficient and cunning. I love her as friend and a co-worker. I miss her so much. (See: Sun Stories: Summer – Night Shift Girl)

“I had a sister who died when I was 9.”

“Oh my god. What happened?”

“She was born with a heart murmur. She had so many operations. It was so sad. She died after five weeks.”

“I’m so sorry. What a horrible way to come into the world if even for a brief time.”

“Yea. It was really sad. My mom still wears a little pendant with her name on it.”

We turn the conversation to happier thoughts.

The night passes and I’m training her on cleaning the beds, when and how to do the laundry, vacuuming the salon and folding the towels.

Eileen is a quick learn. I even notice she’s watching the computer screen intently while waiting to go clean the beds. That’s what we hired these girls for. Clean beds while I manage the salon, sales and the clients.

But while Eileen is standing there with her spray gun and towels, I notice her eyes are on every transaction I’m doing. She’s very visual and smart. She’s learning the system even on her first night wiping down beds.

She’s my hire. I chose her the minute I met her. She’s extraordinary. I can see she’s working out. An 18 year old teenager raised in the digital age. Her brain is wired to learn looking at a computer screen.

Me, the old horse, grew up in an age when there were no computers. Only books. I learn slowly. These kids today are like lightning. Say what you want about millenials. You just don’t understand them. You brought them into this world, but their learning abilities are beyond anything you know.

Sure they have no game, and no sense of direction, or spacial awareness. They are slaves to their phones, but they learn the software of anything faster than any of us born even 30 years ago because of technology.

Achilles always complained about his staff. They were a bunch of young girls he was paying $9 an hour. Of course she has the flu the day after St Patrick’s Day. They all would call out sick and were never reliable.

This crap went on for 10 years! He had three salons and he closed two of them because it was, “same headache, times 3” he said.

I get it. It’s hard to find good staff in the retail and hospitality industry industry. I never knew this because I worked in corporate america in banking and advertising my whole life. But for $9 an hour you’re going to get a lot of bubble head kids. It’s just the nature of the business.

But then he got me.

Everything changed.

He finally had an anchor. An older mature man that would give you the $80K employee experience for coolie wages. (As my mother would say)

I know he appreciated it and couldn’t believe his good fortune, but always treated me like any other employee. I get that. That’s all I wanted. I wanted to work. I realized after being in the rat race for my whole life that it was all folly.

The suit and ties. The houses, the cars, the marriage, the children, the stuff.

So much stuff.

I was living the life I thought I should be living to fit into some American dream.

It’s all bullshit.

All of it.

Lies.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to work hard and make money and move up and build a life for yourself.

You make more money, and become an executive and get a good pretty wife and a house and a mortgage, but is that what you really want?

We all follow the same path our parents did. Just that. But does it work for all of us?

Not so much. But we get caught up in it because that’s what we’re taught. We’re children and we are told by our elders that it’s the key to a happy and secure life.

Bullshit.

Work hard. Eat shit sandwiches in a job you hate, sacrifice your happiness, and make a bunch of money and secure a bunch of STUFF.

Stuff and possessions is you filling your empty heart with a temporary hamburger.

You’re full for three hours and then you are you again.

I never want to go back to that. I’ve had all of that and none of it means anything.

I hated all of it. I now want for nothing.

I feel like when I was doing all of those things I was a ghost in my own life.

I live a simple life now and my daughter Lorelei lives with me since she was 18 years old.

The universe has somehow righted itself.

I’ve worked at this salon for 2 years and now we have this fitness center and it’s starting to take off. But I’m no longer harnessed to the bridle of corporate america. My best friend of 20 years is owned by Wells Fargo and he’s rich, but his life sucks royal Canadian moose cock everyday. I love him, but his wife is gone. He has no kids, and he’s left in a pool of mediocrity with his fifty something Asian girlfriend. He’ll never marry again because he feels like a failure and it’ll just be him at the end of the day with a pile of money and his rhumetoid arthritis.

I smoke and drink and work all of the time. I love my life. Everyday I’m looking forward to doing something and seeing a friend or lover.

I can’t believe my good fortune.

But then I pause and think, I built that.

We can look back on our lives and see it as a bunch of crazy events and stories, but if you really look at it, it’s a lovely novel woven by you.

 

Eileen finishes vacuuming and folding towels.

She’s had a great first day and I’m proud of her. I knew she’d be wonderful.

I’m on my feet everyday and active. I’m interacting with our clients and selling my ass off. I’m training this lovely girl, and she is laughing at my jokes.

How bad is my life?

We lock up and I show this raven haired beauty how sometimes the lock box can be a bit temperamental.

The lights are out so I use my flashlight app to guide her downstairs.

We say goodbye. I tell her that she’s done a good job on her first day.

She gives me that firm handshake that I loved upon our first meeting.

Off she goes.

“See tomorrow, Charles!”

 

I finally hired a winner.

 

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