8 Overrated Date Night Ideas That Aren’t Worth The Stress

If you and your partner pride yourselves on always thinking outside of the box, you may already be a little weary of overrated date night ideas. Whether dinner and a movie just don’t cut it or you’d rather wax your entire body than take a ride in a horse-drawn carriage, being in love can mean putting your own spin on how you spend time together. Of course, communication and transparency are key. And if you’re not into an idea for date night or you’d rather be doing something else, it’s always OK to (politely) say so. Your boo will probably be happy you did.

Maybe your partner likes to make a big show out of holidays, and you prefer to keep things low-key. Or perhaps you love to go hiking, but your partner’s idea of being outside is sitting on the patio at their favorite bar. Planning a special date night doesn’t have to mean dragging your boo somewhere they don’t want to be or pretending you like a bunch of stuff that you don’t actually like. It can look like being open and honest with each other about where your head is at.

Here are eight overrated date night ideas to skip when you’d rather be doing something else.

Group of young men and women enjoying summer holiday at outdoor party.
Shutterstock

1. A Group-Hang (When You Really Wanted A One-On-One)

Listen, you love your group of friends. Heck, you probably love your boo’s group of friends, too. They might even be the same group of friends! While it’s nice to spend time with all of the people you care about, it’s also OK to want a one-on-one night with your partner. Whether you haven’t seen them for a while or just really want to connect, you never need to feel pressure to do a group-hang when you really want a hot date night for two.

2. An Expensive Anniversary Dinner (When You’d Rather Cook At Home)

Relationship milestones can mean something different to everyone. Maybe you’re excited to celebrate your six-month anniversary, but don’t really care about your two, three, or four-month anniversary. Maybe you’ve been dating for so long that you can’t remember when you started. While it’s totally OK to go all-out for every anniversary, you don’t need to feel pressure to spend a bunch of money or make a huge gesture to acknowledge how long you’ve been in love. If you’d rather cook at home or order take-out to celebrate, you can create your own kind of traditions — including not celebrating at all.

3. An All-Out Valentine’s Day Celebration (When You Wanted Something Small)

Just as you can celebrate your personal anniversaries and milestones however the heck you want, you get to make the rules about how you navigate holidays. Maybe you skip a fancy V-Day date to volunteer at the animal shelter. Perhaps you’d rather spend the holiday with your sister than your partner. Whatever the case, you don’t need to have a glamorous or super romantic date night for each and every holiday. You can just do you.

4. Going To The Movies (When You Were Hoping To Talk)

If you and your boo are total cinephiles, you may love going to the movies together. However, if you like to talk during dates or you really were hoping to connect deeper with your partner, silently sitting facing forward in a dark room may not be the best space to do that. It’s OK to tell your SO that you’ll meet them after they go to the movies. It’s also OK to ask them to do something more interactive on your date, like mini-golf, pottery painting, or getting coffee and catching up. The world is your dating oyster.

Young couple watching a movie on their laptop in bed
Shutterstock

5. A Double-Date (When You Don’t Even Like The Other Couple)

You don’t have to like all of your partner’s friends. I’ll say it again: You. Don’t. Have. To. Like. All. Of. Your. Partner’s. Friends. Should you be polite to them? Probably — you should consider treating them with empathy and respect in the same way that you’d treat anyone else. But do you need to go on a double-date to a restaurant you don’t like on the other side of town with them? Why no, you most certainly do not.

6. A Nature Outing (When You Actually Hate The Outdoors)

Yes, relationships are all about compromise. Sometimes, you have to go to your partner’s sister’s baby shower instead of eating a breakfast burrito in bed because you’re working on connecting your families more. However, if you hate, hate, hate spending time outdoors, you don’t need to go on a “cute nature date” with your partner. In fact, if you really hate anything — shopping, French food, going to the gym, nature museums, board games, etc. — you don’t need to feel the pressure to “suck it up” or “just deal with it.” Your boo likes you for you. They don’t like you for pretending to be someone that you’re not. It’s OK to let your partner enjoy their hobbies with other people who enjoy them, too. Meet up after and do something you both like.

7. A “Chill” Night At Home (When You Wanted To Go Out)

OK, if your boo has the stomach bug and just got fired from their job, chances are they aren’t in the mood to take you out on the town. However, if anniversaries or birthdays are important to you, or you just got a promotion or internship, and you’re trying to celebrate, you don’t need to feel any pressure to “chill” when you’d rather go out. You’re not “needy” or “materialistic” for wanting to have a special night with the person you’re dating. It’s OK to want to make a big deal out of something, and it’s OK to want more out of date night than take-out and a movie. There are plenty of thoughtful date ideas that don’t break the bank, so communicate how you feel and open up a dialogue with your partner about settling on a compromise.

8. Doing Something For The ‘Gram (When You Want To Connect IRL)

There’s no shortage of Instagram-worthy moments that happen on date nights (think: rooftop bars, flower walls, and neon signs with arbitrary messages like, “Here You Are”). While sharing your joy on social media can be a sweet way to connect with your friends and family, you never need to feel any pressure to get the “perfect shot” on date night, or to even Instagram about your date at all. You and your boo can connect IRL, and that can be enough.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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31 Happiness Quotes From Buddha That Will Change Your Life

I LOVED RESEARCHING THIS POST!!! HAPPY 2020!!!!

As one of the greatest minds of our time, Buddha is viewed by many as the embodiment of true wisdom, joy, and positivity. In Buddha’s teachings, we learn to be happy in life despite whatever suffering we experience.

While life won’t always be filled with happy moments, we can find a way to see the positive through it all. Read on for 31 of our favorite happiness quotes inspired by Buddha.

1. Don’t focus on the past, do not daydream about the future; think about the present moment.

It can be hard to let go of our past failures, but in doing so we will be able to focus entirely on the present. The same is true for the future—while we should set our goals for a better future, we must center all our energy on today.

2. Your mind is everything. Protect your mind and your thoughts—what you think about, you will become.

Many of us go through the day letting our thoughts go unchecked. While it’s important to let our minds wander at times, we also must exercise intentionality in what we choose to think about.

3. Joy is the companion of a pure mind. Focus on pure thoughts and happiness will find you.

This happiness quote inspires us to clear our minds. When our thoughts are pure, happiness and joy aren’t far behind.

4. Only you can save you—no one else.

When we go through difficult times in life, it is natural to search for someone to give us a way out. The truth is that whatever we go through, only we can save ourselves. We have to be strong enough to keep going.

5. In life, your greatest mistakes are not starting and not following through.

This happiness quote shows us that our mistakes are just lessons to learn in life. The only real mistakes are choosing to quit or not starting in the first place.

6. An undisciplined mind leads to confusion. If we can train our minds, our thoughts will become obedient to us.

Our minds naturally want to wander—we have to discipline ourselves to change the way we think.

7. In life, we must be virtuous, wise, and of right mind. The purer we live, the more we enjoy life.

We are all born with a purpose. This happiness quote reminds us what really matters in life.

8. Many of us spend a lifetime searching for something. Stop looking long enough to realize that what you are searching for is already within you.

Many of us are searching for direction in life without realizing that we have the answer within ourselves. This happiness quote shows us that we have the ability to create our own destiny and we must trust and follow our inner desires to reach our destination.

9. Peace is found on the inside; it cannot come from an outside source.

Oftentimes, society will encourage us to do more, buy more, or be more to find happiness. This happiness quote teaches that true peace can only be found within.

10. Doing something good for another person will also have a positive impact on you.

The power of goodness is that it acts as a beacon of light for all that are exposed to it. When we do something good for someone else, we are shining that same light of positivity on ourselves.

11. Few people in life have the maturity to truly be a companion to you. Instead of searching for a partner in the wrong person, choose to walk through these moments alone.

We all long for companionship in life, but oftentimes, our greatest adventures and challenges must be experienced alone.

12. Compassion is the world’s greatest strength.

This happiness quote teaches us the truth to inner strength: we must be compassionate to others.

13. Happiness cannot be discovered. It is always there—we must learn how to see it.

We can’t FIND happiness. Happiness is the path we walk along in this journey of life.

14. Our anger is a punishment we give to ourselves.

Many people choose to become angry and remain that way without realizing that it is this very emotion that is destroying them. If happiness is your goal, you cannot let anger overtake your mind.

15. To truly live and exist in power, we must live without fear.

Fear can be our greatest setback or it can be a lesson in the secret to success: when we move beyond our fear, we are able to accomplish whatever we set our minds to.

16. Pain is a guarantee in life, but suffering is a choice.

In life, we are guaranteed to experience painful moments. However, we don’t have to linger in that pain.

We can move on from the suffering by letting go of these painful feelings.

17. We can use a single candle to light other candles. Sharing this flame doesn’t decrease the light of the other candle. Such is the case with happiness.

Joy and happiness are meant to be shared. When we invite others to experience these happy moments with us, we are increasing this joy within others.

18. When we transform our minds and purify our thoughts, we are cleansing our lives of wrongdoing as well.

Though transforming the mind is a lifelong process, the more we align our minds with pure and positive things, the less negativity will remain.

19. Don’t try to control anyone else—you should only seek to control yourself.

We should never aim to be in control of someone else’s thoughts, emotions, or actions. We must strive to gain control of ourselves.

20. If you are seeking Enlightenment, you must first control your mind.

The more we can control our minds, the closer we will get to Enlightenment. At that point, wisdom will be second nature to us.

21. Leading a wise life allows one to spend every moment intentionally. Leading such a life leaves no man or woman afraid of anything—even death.

We all die. Though we all have various beliefs regarding what happens after death, those of us that live our lives intentionally have nothing to fear—we will know our time on earth was spent wisely.

22. These three things will always come out: the moon, the sun, and the truth.

Just like the moon and the sun, the truth will always find a way to shine through. If you truly take this happiness quote to heart, you must make a commitment to always telling the truth.

23. Our lives are made of little moments. One perfect moment will change a day, another perfect day will change a life. One life may change the world.

Never underestimate the power of one day. Each day has its own potential and may be the day that changes your life forever.

24. The words we speak matter. We influence others to do evil or good based on our words alone.

We must remember to choose our words carefully. Even if we have no ill intentions in mind, others will always interpret our words in one way or another.

25. Hate is not snuffed out by more hate. To bring light to the dark, you have to shine something bright.

We can’t stop hate with hate. Only love can bring about positive change in our lives and the lives of others.

26. Each new morning is an opportunity to start fresh.

Each day, we have the opportunity to begin again. Whatever may have happened yesterday is in the past—today is what matters.

Discover the wisdom of Buddha.

27. We all are connected and have some influence over each other. Nothing exists in a vacuum.

This quote reminds us that no matter how alone we may feel at times, we are never truly alone in life.

28. Evil is always a choice. We are never lured to evil by anyone other than ourselves.

At times, we can be our own worst enemy. Though we may believe another person is to blame for our lack of happiness in life, the truth is that we are in control of our feelings and thoughts.

29. Our thoughts are powerful. Negative thinking can hurt us more than we know.

Buddha was a champion for positive thinking. The more we think about something, the more it affects us. With negative thinking, we invite negativity into our lives.

30. A foolish friend is no friend at all. It’s better to be alone than to befriend a fool.

Going through life alone can seem scary. Though you won’t be alone forever, taking the time to be by yourself is better than finding companionship with individuals that have negative qualities.

31. The words we say and the opinions we have don’t matter nearly as much as the actions we take.

We can say all the good things in the world, but if we only speak without taking action, our words will be nothing more than that.

Final Thoughts on Buddha’s Happiness Quotes

Buddha knew a thing or two about focusing on positive thoughts and retraining the mind. If you’ve been searching for happiness, the Buddha’s teaching can help you on your journey.

Keep each happiness quote in mind as you work to cleanse your mind and life of negativity. In your quest for happiness, remember that it’s about finding joy in the journey, not the destination.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Rebecca – Chapter 5 – Cypress and the Oak – Part 2

I met Rebecca 3 years ago on a date. Rebecca has recently made an appearance in my life so I thought I’d re-run this series so everyone won’t have to go back and search for her series to catch up. Enjoy!

Fall of 2016

“So we decide we want to go someplace else. We leave the bar and start walking. Simon pulls out a couple of joints and we’re all smoking. Just smoking weed walking down the street. We didn’t care. We’re all giggling and Derrick has his arm around me. We end up at some really dark bar. I don’t even remember where it was. We’re drinking and we’re all pretty messed up. The place is full of people. We’re in the back. Derrick is like, Do you ever go skiing? and I’m like, yea, I have been but I’m not that great at it, but I have good balance. Then he pulls out this little bag with white powder in it. I assume it’s cocaine. I go, Oh… skiing. I had never done coke before, but I know Amber has and she says it’s great. So they look around all paranoid and shit, and literally start spooning it out. Derrick does a hit and then offers me a bump. I just do it. I don’t know why. Amber’s like, “gimme some!” Then she and Simon do some. I couldn’t believe it. Doing coke in a bar? It felt cold in my nose, and I could feel this clear euphoria. It almost felt sobering to do it. But different. Higher. Intense. I can see why people love it so much. You were in a band in California. You must have done it right?”

“I saw what drugs did to my peers. I was more of a beer and whiskey guy. I smoked weed occasionally but never really liked it. A little drugs an alcohol can loosen the mind to create, but I knew people who did loads of drugs and it literally sledgehammered their talent and destroyed them. So no. I steered clear of coke.” (White lie) Get it?

“Oh well, that’s good. But anyway, I know I’ve been blabbing on about this. Long story short, these guys come back to our place and we end up fooling around with them. It was crazy. I guess we were all just caught up in the moment. I think we stayed up most of the night. Well, Derrick and I ended up being boyfriend and girlfriend after that. It felt like he really loved me. I loved him.”

She takes a sip and a deep breath, looking off into the distance, as if trying to visualize a faded past. An image that vanished in her rear view mirror long ago.

“What happened?” I say, concerned.

“We went out for about a year. It was intense. We moved in with each other. Amber had gone off to school anyway so it was perfect timing. Things were great at first. But they always are in the beginning. We always did things together and went places together and partied together like a really great couple. I know he was focused on his music and really wanting to make it. But there were a lot of times when he wasn’t around. Times I wouldn’t hear from him and couldn’t get in touch with him. A girl starts to wonder what’s going on. I even started spying on him. Going to places they were playing. He wouldn’t see me, but I wanted to know what he was up to. I wanted to trust him, but you know when you get that weird feeling in your gut that something’s wrong. Well, his behavior had become more and more erratic. I know he was doing drugs but I just wasn’t into it like he was. We just weren’t connecting like we did in the beginning. Like maybe he was just tired of me.”

“Sometimes he would even get really mad about things that didn’t make any sense. Well, one night I followed him after he left me to do a show, and I saw him making out with this redhead at a bar. He wasn’t even playing with his band that night. She was like all emo or whatever with tattoos and shit. I was devastated. I just jumped on the train and went home. I’m sorry I’m telling you all of this.”

I could see that her eyes were wet with the beginnings of tears. “It’s okay. You can tell me. I’m here.” I took her dainty hands in mine. She sniffed and nodded, holding back the tears.

“That night he had the gall to come home and try to do it with me. I pushed him away. He got all mad at me and I told him what I saw. He denied it at first, but I told him I followed him and saw him. He got really mad and started throwing stuff around. He broke this little snow globe he gave me in the beginning. At that moment I didn’t even care about the globe. He had already broken something far more precious than that stupid thing.”

Okay, now I was getting upset. “My God, Rebecca. I’m so sorry.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. She took a healthy sip of her drink. I wiped the tears from her face with my thumb. She hugged me. “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not your fault, Rebecca. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

She sniffed and I offered her a cocktail napkin. (Note to self: Start carrying a clean handkerchief in your lapel pocket.) She wiped her face, and her nose. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m a mess.”

My bartender showed up at the table. “Is everything okay?” he asked. “Yes…yes. She’s just suffering a loss.”

“I’ll bring you another round, yes?” I glance at her. “She smiles and blinking her eyes, nods in affirmation.

He quickly returned. “These are on me guys.”

My man at Tippling is always on point.

“Okay, so that was over a year ago, right?”

“Yes. He took his stuff and left me. I was crushed. Destroyed. I cried for months. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I drank so I could get some sleep. When I would wake up in the morning, I’d just go to the bathroom and dry heave over the sink.”

I could see she was struggling. “So did something happen recently?”

Heavy sigh. “Yes. He reached out to me on social media. I had blocked him from Facebook and in my phone, but I was on Instagram and he got to me that way. I had a panic attack when I saw his name.”

“Let me guess. This happened sometime after you and I went to the art museum.”

“Yea. I know it’s so stupid. He said how he missed me and how he was wrong and had grown so much. And like the idiot I am, I unblocked him in my phone. We met up and as crazy as it seems I was actually happy to see him. He looked a little older and a little more haggard, but it was still my Derrick. We were at a bar up in Northern Liberties. Things felt different. Time had passed. Too much time. I had grown and healed. But old habits die-hard. I just wanted to take a look at him. He said he was really sorry for what he had done. He said it hadn’t worked out with the redheaded slut. She actually ended up cheating on him with some drummer in a band that opened for them. I was actually kind of glad to hear that. But I’m sure he didn’t feel the loss that I had experienced. I had scar tissue on my heart from what he did to me. But I couldn’t let him tear open the sutures and open my old wounds. I work in a hospital emergency room. That shit hurts!”

Rebecca actually laughed at that moment. It had been the first time the whole night. That sound was like magic to my ears. I smiled a knowing smile. Because she didn’t know that I have been down that road twice in my life, and it’s a nightmare.

Love is a many splintered thing.

“So yea, that was a two months ago. I told him that I’m glad he was doing well, but I had moved on after a year and that I was in a relationship with a really nice guy in financial services.” She laughed again. “I could see he was disappointed, but I couldn’t let myself go through that shit again. It was a small chapter in my life and I had to draw the curtains on that dead body. He had me, and he squandered it. I think in that moment he realized that it was really over for good. It was hard to do, but I told him I had to get home to Cole, my investment banker boyfriend. He hugged me, and I knew I would never smell him again. It was like pulling the plug on a fatally injured patient.”

“So that was it?” I took a sip of my rye infused medicine.

“Yea. I went home and put on and episode of Stranger Things and ate an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s and had a good cry. So… that’s why I disappeared for a while. I just needed to think about some things and move forward with my life. So, I’m glad you met up with me tonight. I’m sure you never expected our second date to be this confessional. I really appreciate you listening to all of that, but it felt really good to get it out. I was like a little tree blowing back and forth in the wind, but now I feel more calm. Like the storm is finally over and I’m safe.”

“Well, I’m glad you trusted me enough after one date to see me again and confide in me, Rebecca. Like my profile says, I’m a good listener.”

“Yea…Thank you.” Taking my hand again in hers. “You’re like a strong tree. Good roots  with unwavering branches.”

“Yea, and my bark is worse than my bite!”

She cracked up.

Rebecca was back.

“You’re awesome.” she said as she again hugged me tightly. Oh, that lovely slender neck and her fragrance was sobering and intoxicating in the same breath.

We had our intimate moment, and then paused.

“Are you hungry?”

“I’m starving!” she laughed.

“There’s a great bar called Mix that’s one block from here that has delicious 12 inch brick oven pizzas.”

“That sounds like the greatest idea I have heard all year! Do you think I’m overdressed for pizza?”

“I’m sure you’ll pass they’re rigid dress code, Rebecca.”

And with that she pulled from her hair the thing that was holding it in place, and those rich ribbons of dark chocolate tumbled over her lovely shoulders.

It’s hard to believe that this story could get any better at this point, but it does. The bill came and my guy placed it on the table. I reached for it to access the catastrophic damage to my bank account that 6 drinks at 1 Tippling Place would cost me… plus tip.

But Rebecca was faster, and she grabbed it first. “Uh, uh. This is on me.”

I was in shock. My face, a mask of disbelief and mute protest. “Are you sure?” She looked at the bill. “Yep.” She whipped out her credit card and stuck it in the flap, as she nodded to the bartender.

I instinctively reached for my wallet. “Can I at least help with the tip?”

“Put that way.” She said firmly, giving me a wry smile.

“Will you at least let me buy a lady some pizza?”

She ran her fingers through her hair, fluffing her dark locks. “I’ll think about it.”

The bill returned. She signed it and handed it back. “Come along, Sir. I’m hungry.”

I liked that she called me Sir. I also like that she took my hand, and led me out of there. When we were outside she locked arms with me.

I was in heaven. We’re on our way to eat delicious pizza.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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