If Your Partner Asks You This One Question, They Think You’re The One

Although dating can be a confusing mess at times, sometimes a partner will show clear signs that they’re serious about you. For instance, if your partner asks you this strange question, then they might think you’re the one for them. It could be one of those little things in a relationship that actually mean so much more.

If your partner asks something like, “Hey, are you happy?” then they may have pretty serious intentions about the relationship overall. It’s a simple question, but it can say a lot about where they are in the relationship. A partner who thinks you’re the one will be concerned about your happiness. Maybe they’re just asking whether you’re happy with a particular Starbucks order, or maybe they’re checking in to see how you’re feeling about life overall. Whatever the case, showing genuine concern for your happiness is a major sign.

Plus, relationship experts also value this focus on happiness for one another in a relationship. “It certainly helps if you’re dating someone that you want to make happy and who wants to make you happy in return,” said Laura VanderDrift, associate professor of psychology at Syracuse University, in The Independent. “Couples who each truly place the needs and wants of their partners on par with or above their own seem handle a lifetime of compromising, juggling priorities, and collaborating better than couples who individually pursue their own best interests.” By expressing an interest in your happiness, your partner is subtly showing that their care for you is (likely) genuine.

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That said, there are a few caveats to the happiness equation. For the most part, it’s healthier if neither of you rely too much on the relationship itself to fuel your happiness. “I think about it as a profound collapse in boundaries when couples are continuously trying to make each other happy at the expense of themselves,” said Kate Balestrieri, licensed clinical psychologist and executive director of Triune Therapy Group, in She Knows. You’re both still responsible for your own happiness as individuals, it’s just helpful when there’s someone else in your corner.

Plus, the ability to express your true emotions in a relationship, even the non-happy ones, is also crucial. Nobody wants to fake being happy just to keep a partner content. In fact, trying to force yourself to be happy can have the exact opposite effect. “It seems our unhappiness is amplified by comparison with the more socially desirable cheerfulness: Not only are we sad, anxious, or depressed, but now, because of social pressure, we feel bad about ourselves for not being happy — which makes us feel worse,” according to Tina Gilbertson LPC, BC-TMH in Psychology Today. With this in mind, it’s healthiest to have a partner who values your happiness when it’s genuine. Otherwise, there’s also room in the relationship to express a whole range of emotions, including sadness and anger.

Although no single partner can make you happy, because that’s your own responsibility, a partner who expresses real concern for your sense of joy and contentment is likely pretty taken with you. And if you feel a similar level of care for their happiness, then maybe you’ve both met the one.

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