10 Signs She’s A High Maintenance Girl

If you are dating a high maintenance girl, picture yourself as the character Rajat in the movie Pyaar Ka Punchnama. Dating a high maintenance girl might not seem that big a deal at first but will become a huge ordeal as the relationship matures. If your girlfriend leaves a big hole in your pocket whenever you take her out on a date, you have a high maintenance girlfriend. Having a high maintenance girl as your girlfriend can suck the life out of you and when you realize it, it’s too late. If you are someone who lives a low maintenance life, you need to look out for the red flags indicating you have a high maintenance girlfriend and avoid a high maintenance woman.

10 Signs She Is A High Maintenance Girl

To begin with, a “high maintenance girl” meaning: A high maintenance girl is someone who has high standards with respect to almost everything, such as expectations, need for love and attention, etc. Sometimes high maintenance is mistaken for being materialistic. Materialistic solely has to do with money or material possessions. High maintenance can be related to anything, it can be materialistic, emotional or anything else. A high maintenance girl is never satisfied with anything. If you have to keep proving to your girlfriend that you are worthy of her love, you’ve got yourself a high maintenance girlfriend. Here are 10 signs she is a high maintenance girlfriend.

1. She is self-obsessed

She is self obsessed
All that your girlfriend cares about is her appearance and what others think about her. She will always keep asking you if she is looking okay and if her friends will get jealous when they see her. Though this might seem harmless at first, it will become intolerable when all she is bothered about is her appearance and her needs. When everything in the relationship is about her, she will make you feel like a puppy chasing her around. She will refuse to go on camping trips or family get-togethers because it doesn’t fit with her priorities. She won’t do things she doesn’t like, even if that activity makes you happy.

2. She criticizes your dressing style

Girls who are high maintenance are very conscious about their looks and their image in front of others. She will want you to match up to her standard to impress others. She wants to flaunt you in front of her friends and will want you to dress according to her standard when you are meeting her friends. She will make you feel like a trophy boyfriend in front of her friends.

3. She makes you do her chores

She has the habit of bossing everyone around and bosses you around too. She makes you do her chores like pick up the dry cleaning, pick up her clothes from the store, feed the dog, etc. asking for favours once in a while is normal but if she makes you do her chores almost every day, you’re not her boyfriend but her personal assistant.

4. She takes ages to get ready

She is always late
She is never on time at any event. Imagine telling her to meet you at 7:00 p.m., when you call her at 7, she says that she is still not done styling her hair. She takes hours and hours when it comes to getting dressed and you always have to tell her an earlier time for her to come on time. If this is not a sign of a high maintenance girlfriend, then what is!

5. It’s not easy to please her

Imagine yourself planning a perfect date for her. When she comes for the date, instead of being happy she will start cringing and start complaining about everything. She won’t acknowledge the effort that you put into planning the date for her, but will criticize you for not knowing where to take her for a date.

Such people only like their own suggestions and trying to be innovative or do something out of the box for them will only make her criticize you more.

6. She tells you what to do

A relationship involves both people making decisions together about the relationship and other things. In your case, she is the one telling you what to do. She chooses the high-end bar that you should be seen in with your friends, or tells you to hang out at an upmarket club and gets upset if you have friends who do not fit her bill of “successful people”. She will boss you around as if she owns you.

7. She tells you what to buy her

She controls your shopping

Sometimes, men are confused into what to buy their girlfriend and end up buying the worst of gifts for their girlfriends. Sometimes girlfriends give a hint to their boyfriend as to what to buy them. Giving subtle hints is harmless but what if your girlfriend gives you a list of things to buy her and acts surprised when you get them for her? What about the times when she tells you to buy her expensive gifts even though it’s out of your budget?

8. She wants you to be her personal chauffer

She will always want you to pick up and drop her whenever you meet her. As cute as it might sound, it’s not possible to pick her and drop her every time you meet her. It becomes tiresome and expensive especially when you both live quite far from each other but she isn’t willing to understand the situation. When you talk to her about it, she will make it all emotional and you have no other choice but to give in.

9. Materialistic things make her happy

Materialistic refers to physical or material possessions. Your girlfriend feels happy only when you buy her expensive gifts and will show more love to you. Feelings, emotions and love don’t matter much to her as much as materialistic things do. Sometimes you feel that you need to keep buying her expensive things to earn her love. Ask yourself, is she with you because she loves you or because of the gifts you buy her?

10. She picks fancy restaurants and makes you pay all the time

She prefers expensive dates
She is used to a lavish lifestyle and wants you to go along with it. To make things worse, she makes you pay for all these expensive dates. If not all the time, she makes you pay most of the time. No matter who is earning more here, it should be the responsibility of both the partners to share the cost or to take turns to pay. If she’s making you pay all the time, it is because she is used to other people paying for her and she wants it to continue.

If you see your girlfriend in these signs, then it’s your call whether you want to avoid her or be in a relationship that sucks the life out of you. Just remember, how you feel being criticized and bossed around constantly. Remember what the true meaning of a relationship is and how it feels to be acknowledged by your partner and taking decisions together. If you still have doubts, watch the movie Pyaar ka Punchnama and you’ll know for sure what to do.

 

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First Time For Everything: Dating A Grandfather

Here’s one from one of my female readers.

Last year, I had sex with a grandfather. That sounds bad, but I didn’t know he was a grandpa until after we’d done it. Plus, he’s a good thirty years younger than my own grandfather. But still, at 53, he had two kids and a baby granddaughter, while at 32, I’m itching to give birth to my own babies. When he confessed his real age to me over lunch following our hotel-room hookup (he’d told me he was 48), I assured him that I didn’t mind.

And at first, I didn’t. Part of what attracted me to him was that he was mature. He owned his own home, had a secure job. His life wasn’t as precarious as the other guys I’d recently dated. He seemed steady and solid, thoughtful, and I liked the idea of him presiding over a family. It made me feel like he’d be protective and gentlemanly, but still hot.

It was easier to pretend the age gap didn’t matter when it was just the two of us, but the realization that, if I were to get pregnant, our child would be younger than his granddaughter, unnerved me.

Don’t think that because he was solidly “middle-aged” that he wasn’t good in bed. His hair was salt and pepper sexy, and he had a lean, muscular body. He was one of the best lovers I’ve ever had. We met at a party. He was visiting New York from England and we wound up kissing and whispering pressed up against a barstool at Marion’s. “I want to kiss you all over,” he said in his sexy accent, and I couldn’t resist going home with him.

He was staying in a crappy hotel downtown, and while I’d expected all manner of tenderness, he showed me his forceful side. “What do you like?” he asked, and wouldn’t take mumbling for an answer.

“I like to be spanked,” I whispered. Even though you can pretty much discern that within two seconds of Googling me, it still embarrasses me to tell a new lover that—and I mean “embarrass” in the hottest way possible. He was intrigued, and proceeded to deliver on my wish.

Because things had gone so well, I decided to throw caution to the wind and go visit him. I realized that the likelihood of things working out between us was slim, but he was so enticing. An older, protective, sexy man, waiting for me with a cozy apartment and open arms. Again, whereas I was used to dating guys who could barely afford their own dinner, let alone mine, his offer was enticing.

At first, his pretty, warm, library-like apartment felt like paradise. I tried to ignore the warning signs, like almost missing my flight and my brand-new suitcase not closing.

We never talked about the age difference, but it was there between us. When I introduced him to my twentysomething cousins, I felt distinctly uneasy. Was it obvious we were involved, or could he just be a friend? It was easier to pretend the age gap didn’t matter when it was just the two of us, but the realization that, if I were to get pregnant, our child would be younger than his granddaughter, unnerved me.

Plus, if things worked out, what would his kids think of me, someone just a few years older than they were? It made me feel a bit dirty, and not in the hot way.

I’m not opposed to age differences per se; in fact, most people I’ve dated have been at least a few years older, often over ten years older. But if someone has fifteen years on you and has never been married, that difference doesn’t matter as much. You probably have more in common in terms of the life of a single person than not; they’ve just been doing it longer. Throw in an ex-wife, kids, and grandkids, and it gets murkier. It’s not just that they come with baggage, it’s also that I don’t. I felt behind the curve, even though it’s not a competition; at 24, he’d been a dad, which made me feel like even more of an old maid than I already do.

Ultimately, it’s a push/pull kind of thing for me; knowing someone has that paternal instinct is a huge turn-on, but if they’ve already gone there, and, in his case, beyond, I feel unbalanced. Next time, no matter how hot a man is, I’ll draw the line at parenthood.

 

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Rebecca – Chapter 6 – Cypress and the Oak – Part 3

I met Rebecca 3 years ago on a date. Rebecca has recently made an appearance in my life so I thought I’d re-run this series so everyone won’t have to go back and search for her series to catch up. Enjoy!

Fall of 2016

We headed down Chestnut Street to Mix. I love Mix. It’s just slightly outside of the Rittenhouse bubble. How can you not love a place that has a full bar and serves delicious reasonably priced brick oven pies? Sure Zavino is good down at 13th and Sansom, but I’m not going down there. Too crowded, and too expensive.

We get there and head to the back room. The front of the house looks like a regular pizza place, but you keep walking, and the back is a bar with tables. We grab a high top and look at the menus. It’s clear to me a great weight has been lifted from Rebecca’s shoulders. We order up and sip our beers.

Piping hot delicious pie comes out and all is right with the world.

“What’s better than pizza and beer?” She says, as we tap our bottles and take a swig. “Free pizza and beer,” was my reply. She laughs and looks at me while taking a pull from her Corona. “Hey, how come you didn’t ‘Super Like’ me on Tinder?” She quips, smiling.

“What? I don’t ‘Super Like’ anybody.”

“Come on. You must have at least tried it once.”

“Don’t you only get a few of those? You can’t ‘Super Like’ everybody, or people would do it.”

“See? You know about it, so you must have done it at least once.”

“Okay. Maybe once. Now that you mention it, I may have ‘Super Liked’ somebody just to try it.”

“Do you remember who?”

“Maybe it was some really hot little Asian chick.”

“Oh, so you’re into Asian girls.”

“Who isn’t? They’re adorable, smart, and nice.”

She laughs. “Did you ever date an Asian girl?”

“I did. When we first got to L.A. I did.”

“I thought you had a steady girlfriend out there?”

“I did. But it was before her. I was 19 years old. Back then the drinking age in New Jersey was 18 and I was legal, but in California it was 21 so I had to get my friend Frank who was 21 to get all of our alcohol. So we were in a bar one night checking out some bands. He got the drinks and brought them to the table and I told him as thanks, I’d bring us some talent to the table.”

“Talent?” she inquired.

“You know what I mean. I went downstairs and met these two sisters. The Yamomatos. One was my buddy’s age and her little sister was my age. I told them we had a table upstairs and asked them to join us and they did. It was so easy back then.

“So what happened? Did you guys sleep with the sisters? I think I like this story.”

“No. Well yes. My buddy slept with the older one eventually. I didn’t sleep with the little sister.”

“Why not?”

“She was in love with this older guy that she was banging.”

“Really? I like her already.”

“Oh, thanks a lot. You’re happy I didn’t get any loving.”

“No. Think about why I like her…” She gives me that grin and those eyes.

“Ohhh…” I’m smiling now.

“So how did it all end up?”

“My buddy would ask me to leave our apartment some nights so he could throttle big sister. I remember he used to put a sock on the door knob to let everybody know it was off-limits.”

“Oh my God, that is so college.”

“Well he went to college, I didn’t, so I guess he had a move.”

“You never tried to get baby sister into bed?”

“No, she liked making out with me and stuff, but not much else. Just dating stuff, like going to record stores.”

“So nothing ever?”

“Well, we fooled around some, but she used to like this thing where I stuck my tongue in her ear for periods of time. It used to really drive her nuts. I’ve never met anyone since then that was into that.”

“So her heart belonged to some older guy, huh?”

“Yep. I think she said he was in his thirties or early forties. At the time I just couldn’t understand that. I mean, she had this young, lean rock guitarist, lion cub right in front of her. Me with my long blonde mane of hair and all.”

“Yea, but you were young and inexperienced. Maybe she wanted a man.”

“Well, at the time I didn’t understand why she would want that. I was right there.”

“Well, I’m sure he had things that you couldn’t provide.”

“Oh, you mean like expensive dinners, and jewelry and stuff like that?”

“No. Maybe she wanted a gentleman that would take her to the museum, not just to impress her, but could actually appreciate the art, and talk about it. Maybe he took her to the ballet and the symphony. You don’t know. I’m sure she was attracted to you cause you were cute, but maybe she loved him, and that’s why she reserved that part of herself only for him. You might have just been her boy toy.”

“Probably. But I enjoyed being with her because she was cute and nice. I hadn’t ever kissed an Asian girl. I like things that are new and different.”

“Do you see the correlation here?” She says inquisitively.

I paused. “I do, Rebecca.”

“Were these girls smart?”

“Of course, they were Asian. Their parents worked in pharmaceuticals. They lived out in Washington Hills. That’s a nice area. I’m surprised somebody didn’t call the cops when my 1969 Volkswagen mini bus rolled up, and a German and an Irishman jumped out and went into the house. Their parents were away a lot. Palm Springs and Vegas mostly. They had an intercom in their house. I didn’t even know what that was.”

“Why would someone have that?”

“It was a big house. They had money. I would get on the intercom and pretend to be their father to scare my buddy when he was upstairs in the bedroom fooling around with big sister. I would be like; “Dude! We have to get out of here! Their parents are home! Then I would do an awful impression of an angry Asian man hollering over the intercom that he was going to kill the dirty Irishman that was deflowering his daughter with his shillelagh.”

Rebecca lost her shit right there. She was laughing so hard she choked on her pizza. It reminded me of when I used to do funny bits at the dinner table with my Mom and sisters. I would actually try to get them to spit out their food, or even better make them laugh so hard they passed something through their noses.

“Oh my God, that is crazy. You’re so funny!”

I’ve heard that so many times before from women. I would say it’s my gift, but it’s just the way my mind works. Sometimes people mistake light heartedness as immaturity or simplicity, but they’re all wrong. To be truly funny you have to see the sadness and pain of the world. It’s all time and irony. A mind that can laugh at tragedy. One who can make light of things that are painful or embarrassing is an open mind. One who can laugh at himself. It’s like all great theater. Joy and tragedy. I was so happy to make lovely Rebecca laugh. I haven’t felt this kind of joy since my ex-girlfriend Michelle, when we used to talk about everything.

And I mean Everything. (See: Michelle – A Brand New Day)

 

 

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