17 Clever Insults to Keep Cretins Out of Your Life

Try them out on your friends!


  • 2
    People - I'll bet you're the kind of guy who sets fireworks off in the middle of the day so they're .easier to see.

  • 3
    Dish - You're like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.

  • 4
    Clothing - You're not pretty enough to be that stupid.

  • 5
    Text - Look at you, standing there with your elbow half way up your arm/and your teeth in wigh ide your mouth.

  • 6
    Text - If I wanted to kill myself, l'd climb up your ego.and jump to your lO 60 80 100 120 140 IQ

  • 7
    Text - Tenvy everyone you have never met.

  • 8
    Talent show - brought to you by FOR THE TATHERNE would love to insult you but rt Come I'm afraid I won't do it as well as nature did.

  • 9
    Text - Somewhere out there, there's a tree whose single purpose on edrth is to replace the oxygen you waste... Go find it and apologize.

  • 10
    Incandescent light bulb - You're not the brightest bulb in the box, butyou are the sharpest.

  • 11
    Text - EUSO Not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

  • 12
    Text - I can only explain it to you. I can't understand it for you.

  • 13
    Performance - Life is full of disappointments, just ask your parentş.

  • 14
    Submarine - You're about as useful as a screen door in a submarine.

  • 15
    Helmet - Go get your helmet and wait in the car. 10 Ue

  • 16
    Text - Like Ron Swanson oncesaid, just call them the wrong name. It lets them know that you do not care enough about them to remember what their name is.

  • 17
    Wicker - Cupcake. Nobody likes being called cupcake when they're pissed off.

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Author: phicklephilly

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