California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – She Didn’t Just Say That, Right?

We were playing a gig at Gazzari’s on the strip, I got friendly with one of the cutest girls who worked there. I was always on good terms with her, but she was one of the top ones that every guy knew of and most of us just dreamt of what it would be like to date her.

I got the courage to ask her to grab coffee one night. I went to pick her up from her house and she invited me in while she grabbed something. It was near Christmas time so I was looking around at the house that was in full holiday mode. She asked if I liked the decorations and I casually said, “Yeah! Only thing that’s missing is a mistletoe!” …Which only now as I type this out realize was way more suave than I ever realized (self reminiscing five!)

Her immediate response to this was, “Oh, do you want a kiss?!” and then kissed me right on the lips. Then asked, “ready to go?” like it’s no big deal.

Hell yeah!

We went to a local coffee shop and the conversation was already starting to get weird, but what the fuck do I care?

We grab our coffee and the conversation starts to get weirder – she goes, “What if none of this is real? What if nothing we did ever mattered?”

OK, I’m in a pretty well read guy, I can hang with this I think to myself.

Her: “You know this night is going to end eventually right? I could die right now and it wouldn’t matter. Or kill those people over there”

o_O

I make small talk like well, the people we matter to most will remember us so it matters blah blah blah I can’t even remember what came out of my mouth, because I was afraid something might set her off. We walk back to the van.

I run into a friend. He tells me he’s in Hollywood with another one of our friends and I should come out.

We start driving and she tells me stories about random guys she’s been dating and one of them who she hated, so she slept with him purposely while she was on her period and bled all over his sheets, but also hasn’t been tested for STDs in a while, but isn’t worried about it. The she starts screaming out the window at random cars while we’re on the freeway going 75mph (everyone speeds in LA, don’t judge!)

I’m gripping the steering wheel trying to remain focused and figure out wtf is going on.

She notices my biceps (Not that big) and goes, “whoa! Look at those guns! Want to see my guns?” Proceeds to lift her dress up to flash me.

She pulls her dress down, lifts it up from her knees, so she’s half naked in my car, and I’m staring in shock, while also trying not to crash.

If you’ve lost count, I’ve now just made out and seen this fantasy girl nearly naked.

We get to Hollywood and park, and she randomly yells at this truck that drives by, telling them to fuck off. I ask her wtf she did that for and she says “They were talking shit!”

…No…no one said anything. Keep walking and she’s looking behind her at nothing.

Since we weren’t 21 yet, we met up with my friends and went to this 18+ place. Except she doesn’t have anything with her. Bouncer says he won’t let her in without ID.

She flips and yells “DO THESE TITS NOT LOOK 18!?” and proceed to flash him and half the Hollywood strip.

I’ll never forget the look on my friend’s faces nor will I forget what the bouncer said: “Go home, apologize to your mother and your father for being so embarrassing, and don’t ever come back.”

This story keeps going, but I know phicklephilly fans aren’t ones for long ones, so I’ll conclude by saying I spoke to her sister a few months later and she informed me her sister was diagnosed with schizophrenia and been put on various medication, which she hasn’t been taking.

Another weird night.

 

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Philadelphia, PA, USA

Author: phicklephilly

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