Rebecca – Chapter 9 – Falling

I met Rebecca 3 years ago on a date. Rebecca has recently made an appearance in my life so I thought I’d re-run this series so everyone won’t have to go back and search for her series to catch up. Enjoy!

Fall of 2016

After my last date with Rebecca, my mind was reeling. I can’t stop thinking about her. I really felt that there was a solid connection between us despite our difference in age.

I found myself thinking about her often. She seemed like the perfect girl for me, but they all do… in the beginning.

I wanted to play it cool, and so far I believe I have. The patient mentor. The consummate gentleman as always. Maybe Rebecca was finally realizing the folly of her choices and will attempt to maintain something with me.

Who am I kidding? (Only myself) She’s 21 years old and I’m in my mid 50’s. This never works. For the last 15 years I’ve been dating and having relationships with younger women. They’ve all ended pretty much the same way. They reach their late 20’s and the nesting gene kicks in. By 27 they all start to freak out that they’ll never get married and have children if they don’t lock down a solid man.

I understand this imperative, but then why do I keep ending up connecting with all of these young beauties?

I love beautiful things. I love young women. I like things when they’re new. Every relationship is like a long dinner. But you eat dessert first. Then after that it’s just one long meal that never really gets any better.

Instinct and social norms drive the decisions of all of these twenty something women. Most relationships in their twenties fail, and they either finally find what it is they want in a man, and mature a bit themselves… or, they simply settle.

Settling. I’ve seen it happen so many times. It’s easier to settle and simply surrender to what society tells you you should do, rather than keep going and possibly end up alone. Most people can’t stand to be alone. Why is everyone so lonely?

“All the lonely people. Where do they all come from?”Paul McCartney

I’m never lonely. I’ve always enjoyed my time alone. It gives me a chance to recharge my mental batteries so that I can be the charming bon vivant that you all know and love.

I loved my ex girlfriend Michelle. (You can read her full series on phicklephilly. It’s quite good.) She was my best friend. We started out as co-workers. Everybody loved her where we worked. The sweetest and most beautiful woman in the entire company. We hung out, fell in love, moved in together, she wanted to get married and have kids, I already had Lorelei. That ended it. The great thing was that we remained friends even after the love affair failed. We actually made better friends than lovers.

But that was 12 years ago. I’m a lot older now and as we all know, nothing gets better or prettier as it ages. (Maybe a really good cabernet, but that’s it.) But here I go again. Falling for a lovely, sultry babe half my age.

Funny, how I can enter into each relationship already knowing how it’ll end. The first couple are heartbreaking because when you first enter into these things you’re new at it. You think it’ll work. Actually, that thought never enters your mind. You simply feel the dopamine drop in your head and you launch into it like a teenager.

But as each relationship unravels and falls apart you become better at the process. You’ve already prepared for the relationship’s ultimate demise. You love them and have a wonderful time. All of the romance, stolen kisses, flowers, gifts, and sex are all part of the game. The best part is always everything leading up to the sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is always spectacular. (Who doesn’t like driving a new Ferrari every couple of years?)

But in time it begins to fall apart. But you’ve planned for this. So by the time it ends, I’m actually relieved I no longer have to be their partner. I like to be alone and begin to look forward to that time.

Then it’s over and I no longer feel a thing.

That’s pretty empty.

But that’s what I am now. Maybe I’ve always been that. It just took my entire adult life to realize that relationships simply don’t work for me. I like the attention of several women and fall in lust/love on a daily basis. It’s like I’m some sort of beauty addict.

I don’t mind, because I know that’s what I am. I like to keep life interesting with constant evolution. I can’t imagine being trapped in some sort of exclusive relationship. Trapped like an animal in a cage, but the whole world has been brainwashed into thinking they won’t be happy if they don’t stay married and will die alone.

I came into this world alone, and I’m all good with going out the same way.

I have no use for stuff and possessions, least of all possessing another person. The things that turn me on the most is events. Meeting a dear friend for a drink and a meal, or the rush of having a few cocktails with a really pretty young woman.

I suppose the mistake I’ve made is allowing the women I’ve been with think that I belong to them.

I’ve died several times in captivity. But like the Phoenix, I always rise again.

I love my ascension. It’s extremely liberating. The cleaner and easier the break, the more I like it.

Some may say that I seem shallow. Call it what you will, but that’s simply your opinion and you’re entitled to it. You have your beliefs and I have mine. And if we’re in a relationship I’ll let you believe that I buy into your fairy tales of endless love.

It simply doesn’t exist for me.

I enjoy a simple uncluttered life that’s easy to manage and I allow you all to visit me here at my discretion.

I can’t wait to see lovely Rebecca again. She possesses that “certain something” that just lights me up. When she enters a room, I feel the engine ignite and I fire on all cylinders like a race car. My mind and libido roar to life like I’m 18 again.

I need to text her and set up another date.

Fingers crossed!



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Philadelphia, PA, USA

Author: phicklephilly

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