7 Things Guys Say That Spell Trouble

We here at The phicklephilly love men. In fact, we adore them. We like their bodies, their brains, and their strange way of doing things. So it’s always a tricky tightrope when you’re dealing with a dude to know when to be there for him—and when to cut and run. Since we’re here to help the ladies, we’ve created a handy guide that will help you know when your guy is just being a guy—or if you’ve got a dud on your hands who needs to be dumped.

1. “I’m going into therapy.”

Your dude’s got issues. He’s moody. He’s unhappy. He can’t get it together. So, you’d think it’d be a good thing when he finally says, “I’ve decided to start seeing someone … in the therapeutic sense.” You’d think. Only, that’s not how it turns out. How it does turn out is that it’s like he’s got an ally who’s pro-him and anti-you, and now he’s coming home once a week with lots of things to tell you about how he feels, and it’s not all good when it comes to your end of things. In the end, you wish you’d just told him to go to the gym.

2. “I don’t feel like having sex.”

Sure, every man has an off day. But you know what? Most guys want to have sex all the time. And if you’re not getting it on on a regular basis, especially because your guy is claiming that he’s just “not feeling it,” you can bet that your problems are going to turn out to be bigger than a case of the sex blues. In this particular situation, you may want to get to the root of the problem before this supposed dry spell kills your love, too.

3. “I can’t stop crying.”

Sure, sure, the new man is a metrosexual who is really in touch with his inner-self, does yoga, and gets waxed more than you do. But there’s a limit to how much a woman can tolerate seemingly unmanly behaviors. Crying because there was a death in the family? Feel free. Prone to weeping at romantic comedies? Not so much. If your man can’t control his emotions, and you find yourself feeling like you’re the one wearing the pants in the relationship, you should ask yourself if that’s what you want—a guy who’s a real tearjerker.

4. “I’m thinking about quitting my job.”

There are two ways this one can go. He’s dissatisfied with his current work situation, he wants to try something else, and this statement is a prelude to telling you all about his big plans for his next career move. That’s fine. On the other hand, if you’re living together, and one day he declares he’s going to give two-weeks notice today, and so far as you can tell he doesn’t have any idea what he’ll be doing after that, or how he’ll be paying for his part of your shared bills, this isn’t someone who has a work issue. This is someone who has an I-want-my-mommy-to-take-care-of-me issue.

5. “I need to tell you something.”

This one never, ever ends well. If he has to prepare you for what he’s going to say next, you best brace yourself for what’s coming because it ain’t good.

6. “I think we need to take a break.”

Hey, guess what? This isn’t school, and there will be no recess. Relationships are not like a Lego set: created to be dismantled and put back together again. “Breaks” are what guys who are too weak, scared, or lame suggest because they’re too much of a you-know-what to go ahead and break up with you. Make it easy for this guy. Give him a break from the relationship. A permanent one.

7. “My last girlfriend was crazy.”

True, your ex probably said the same thing to his new girlfriend, but you might want to keep an eye on the man whose history includes a long string of relationships with women who are totally temperamental, out of their gourds, or recently released from the state mental hospital. Guys who go out with lunatics think the crazy chick is the issue, but all too frequently he’s the one with the problems. Whether he craves drama, mistakes insanity for passion, or prefers to hook up with ladies who can never truly be intimate, you’re better off letting him move on to the next one—the next crazy one, that is.

 

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6 Myths about Coronavirus!

www.cracked.com/blog/6-dangerous-and-stupid-myths-about-coronavirus/

How to Kiss: 20 Secrets Good Kissers Know

During a hot hookup sesh, kissing might not be your top priority — you might want to get right down to business. But TBH, kissing can sometimes be the most important part of any intimate moment, and there are so many different types of kisses and kissing positions you can try out. To make sure that you learn to kiss to your fullest potential, we’ve gathered the best tips and tricks on how to be a good kisser and *wow* anyone you touch lips with!

It’s honestly pretty difficult to tell if you’re actually a good kisser (even celebrities have awkward kissing tales). And sometimes it’s just about the chemistry and ~tension~ between you and your bae. But we’re here with advice that will leave you confident AF in your kissing abilities regardless of the situation. Here’s how to kiss a guy (or girl), and impress the heck out of them doing so.

1. Good kissers keep it #real.

The #1 must for how to be a good kisser: You actually want to kiss. If you’re kissing someone only because it feels like what you “should” be doing ~in the moment~ or because you feel weird pressure, then STEP AWAY FROM THE FACE.

2. Good kissers respect consent.

A well-timed “Can I kiss you?” can be swoon-worthy. Boundaries are important — you gotta make sure that you and bae are on the same page.

3. Good kissers understand the importance of setting.

Like your English teacher says: setting = time + place. Is the right spot for a first kiss at your grandma’s house, or in the middle of an argument, or when you have the flu? Probably not. But what about on camera? These first-time kissers decided to have their first ever big smooch documented for the world to see. Check out how a first kiss really happens…

4. Good kissers stay fresh.

Another important tip for how to kiss a guy (or girl): Would you want to be thisclose to someone’s face space only to find that their mouth smells like the dumpster behind Olive Garden? Kay. If you’re anticipating a trip to MakeoutTown, avoid the stank-inducing foods like garlic, onions, processed Cheetos-like cheese, etc. It’s basic manners.

5. Good kissers Keep Calm and Carry Balm.

No one can hate when your gloss game is strong, but actually mashing that onto a human’s face is gross and cruel and no. Bae is probs trying to kiss your actual lips, not your Melon Mango Primer, so stick to that good ol’ neutral lip balm.

6. Good kissers talk it out.

Listen, #aintnobodygottime for bleh makeouts. Good kissers skip to the good parts by taking control and mentioning the things you do like (“So, that tongue move you just did. Yasss.”), and show them alternatives to the things you don’t. (“Hey, instead of that … toothy … situation you did with my lip, how about you just graze it gently, like this?”)

7. Good kissers move ~like you’re my miiiirrror~.

  • I’m not mad at envisioning J.Timbs when kissing anyone, and
  • Bomb-dot-com kisses are a mirror dance — meaning, mimic: Slow down, take note of the things bae does, and gently do it back. Bust out moves you’d want them to do to you. Remember that the show’s not all about you: You’re both in control of this dance.

8. Good kissers know: Less is EVERYTHING.

Thinking too hard about going for some ~sexy trick~ you learned is how makeout seshes end up feeling like dental cleaning. How to be a good kisser? Start off small and slow, and only #turnup if you feel like it’s right. Oh, you’ll know.

9. Good kissers ARE ANTI-HICKEY.

Question: Who thought it’d be sexy to literally be a mouth vacuum? Oh, no one? GREAT — then we’re officially retiring The Hickey. Be nice to Bae’s neck: Small kisses down from the jaw or gentle lip-brushes FTW.

10. Good kissers know that lips-only are for basics.

  • Under the jawbone.
  • Soft spot behind the earlobe.
  • The UGH-so-cute little dip in the collarbone.
  • Tip of the nose.
  • Inside the wrist.
  • Forehead.
  • Shoulder.
  • CLOSED EYELID. #THEPOSSIBILITIES.

Give the both of you a second to mouth-breathe again and freakin’ explore!

Megan Tatem

11. Good kissers take the long route.

Consider this a Google Maps for your meggouts:

1. Start at the lips, kissing (NO TONGUE) gently down towards the chin, then all along the jawbone, towards the ear. From here, give their earlobe a little nip, or whisper softly … “So when are we getting Chipotle?” (Optional.)

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

2. Sneak up on bae from behind and kiss from the top of their shoulder, along the curve towards their ear. (And again, The Optional Whisper: “I want to eat an entire pizza with you.”)

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

3. Gently kiss down the forehead, starting at the hairline, along the slope of the nose, ending at the lips. Congrats: You’re now so *goddamn cute.*

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

12. Good kissers can make PDA not-obnoxious.

Bae will def appreciate the sneak-attack smooch:

  • Facing each other on the bus? BOOM, tip-of-the-nose.
  • Approaching them while they’re sitting? BOOM, forehead.
  • Strolling along, holding hands? BOOM, knuckle-peck.
  • Are you vertically challenged and only come up to their shoulder? BOOM, shoulder smooch.
  • Netflix + chilling? BOOM, inside-of-the-wrist lip-graze. (Careful. Tickles.)

13. Good kissers can keep their tongue in check.

First Rule of Tongue: USE SPARINGLY. Start off by just finding their tongue with the tip of yours — almost like a gentle tongue fist-bump — then pull back. Try grazing past the tip of their tongue — then pull back. Circle the tip of their tongue — then pull back. (Drool and breath and blegh happens when you don’t pull back.)

When you’re feeling up for it, you can try running your tongue just along the inside of their upper lip, or pull a quick lick under their top lip in a sort of come-here/teeny-ice-cream-cone maneuver.

14. Good kissers don’t nibble. Anything. EVER.

I’m sorry — the thought of someone “nibbling” on my lip the way I legitimately nibble on straws and pen caps and beef jerky GIVES ME THE ABSOLUTE FEAR. Why do we still tell each other to nibble?! Good teeth action starts with taking bae’s bottom lip between your front teeth, giving a gentle tug, and letting go.

15. Good kissers play with the pre-game.

Before kissing, lean in and swipe your lips past theirs, slowly and lightly, then pull back. Take a one-two pause to bask in Bae’s “OMG WTF I NEED YOUR FACE” reaction before going in for the kill. And for those feeling sass-tastic: If you’ve taken a break and are getting ready to lean back in, build up some anticipation by pulling back a half-inch and smiling, like Not yet, sucker — Deal With It.” Proceed with makeout as scheduled. #sorryneversorry

16. “But what do I do with my hands?!” you ask.

Both on either side of their head — with plans to slide back into their hair.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

One on their lower back, and one behind the neck (can also venture into Hair Land).

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Both hands lightly resting on their chest.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Both hands on hips, which can sneak around their lower back to squeeze.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

One hand taking a selfie. (JK – just making sure you’re still paying attention.) (But we’d be super impressed if you could pull it off, JS.)

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

One or both hands pulling on the neck of their shirt a little bit, towards you.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

A few fingers up and down their spine, down the nape of their neck, or hovering around their cheeks and jaw.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

17. Good kissers can manage bad kissers like a pro.

Pause an aggressive kisser by leaning back, putting a hand gently on their collarbone, and approaching v e r y s l o w l y — almost like saying, “Chill. Take it down 4 notches. Like this.” Reroute an overly acrobatic kisser by pulling back, just enough so you can whisper, and say, “I like kissing you like this.” Proceed with what you’d want done to you. (Pray that they’ve read this article and know how to mirror.)

18. Good kissers mix it up.

Just because you kiss your bae one way doesn’t mean you can’t mix things up. Surprise can bet such an exciting element of kissing. Maybe you mix it up from trying no tongue to trying a little more tongue to backing off on the tongue. Feel out the mood to see what kind of kiss would be best.

19. Good kissers know that kissing isn’t everything.

Kissing is AMAZING, but there are so many other ways to show affection. Hold your bae’s hand or kiss their hand even. Say something unexpected and sweet in your crush’s ear. Get them a little surprise gift for no reason at all. Kissing helps to build romance, but there are so many things that keep that fire alive.

20. Good kissers always keep their eyes closed.

Seriously, there’s no reason to have your eyes open while you’re making out! It just makes things super awkward and kind of kills the mood.

 

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Tales of Rock – Womanizer Elvis Presley was Obsessed with Teen Girls

Elvis Presley, the undisputed `King of Rock and Roll`, was a womanizer who was obsessed with teenage girls and had a penchant for those who looked like his mother, a new book has claimed.

London: Elvis Presley, the undisputed `King of Rock and Roll`, was a womanizer who was obsessed with teenage girls and had a penchant for those who looked like his mother, a new book has claimed.
According to the book, `Baby, Let’s Play House: Elvis Presley and the Women who Loved Him`, the American icon, who rose from humble circumstances to launch the rock and roll revolution with his versatile voice, wasn’t quite a gentleman.

“Since his arrival in Germany, the sheer volume of women with whom he’d had some kind of relationship, whether sexual or emotional, bordered on the pathological,” says the book, authored by Alanna Nash.

“In Germany Elvis was fascinated with the idea of real young teenage girls, which scared the crap out of all of us. There was at least one affair with a 15-year-old and a 23-year
-old he met was deemed `too old`,” his friend Lamar Fike says.

In fact, on the evening that Currie Grant, a former airman who had been friends with Elvis, introduced Priscilla Beaulieu to the 24-year-old rock star, then doing his military service in Germany, it was immediately apparent the singer was enchanted with the schoolgirl who later became his wife, `The Sunday Times` reported.

“Indeed, Grant found him kissing her against a wall. By 8.30 PM, according to several people in the house, Elvis had taken her up to his bedroom. They did not emerge until
after 1 AM,” the author says.

At the time, Elvis was still in grief after the death of his mother Gladys to whom he was exceptionally close.

“He was attracted to women who reminded him of his mother, as Priscilla did with (her) dark hair and beautiful eyes,” Elvis` another friend, Joe Esposito, who was there when
the couple met, was quoted as saying.

According to Nash, Elvis` “rampant sexual conquests” were emotional self sabotage linked to his continued grief for his mother.

“He never seemed to learn from his mistakes, which remained unexamined as he moved on immediately to the next woman, just as he went from doctor to doctor for another
supply of pills without investigating ways to quell his urges or take control of his life,” he says in her book.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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