Social Distancing Pick-Up Lines Have Arrived & They’re The Comic Relief You Needed

Finding love in the time of coronavirus may be difficult, but the internet certainly isn’t letting that stop it. Amidst growing numbers of COVID-19 lockdowns and CDC-recommended social distancing, it was only a matter of time before #SocialDistancingPickUpLines started trending on Twitter. If you’re looking for a way to stay salacious but sanitary, let these tweets be your guide.

Though we’re all practicing social distancing — you’re doing that right? Staying home or at least six-feet from other people? Good, just checking — we can still keep it sexy from afar. There’s sexting, sexy video chatting, phone sex, foot pics, toe pics, sending nudes, sliding into someone’s DMs, self-isolating but as a euphemism, and, of course, Facebook pokes.

Yes, you can still poke someone on Facebook. Now, more than ever, we need to bring back the strange and stupid practice of clicking a button that notifies another person “you have been poked.” Is poking any less creepy while the coronavirus pandemic is going on? Who knows! Maybe! Probably. You’ll just have to find out. Poke your COVID-19 crush. It’ll be a cute story to tell the grandkids.

Or you could just try one of these 20 #SocialDistancingPickUpLines.

1. Notting Hill Part 2: Let’s Not Get COVID-19

Hollywood Exposed@AndstuffL

“I’m just a girl, standing 6 feet away from a boy. Asking him to maybe move back another foot. Thanks.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

View image on Twitter
2,027 people are talking about this

Dibs on being Julia Roberts.

2. Will You Be My Quarantine?

Vixera@carpe_flamma

Are you a pandemic because you’ve got my heart on lockdown
#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

1,334 people are talking about this

Word play, especially during a pandemic, is welcome.

3. Six-feet, Please.

Sentient Bunny Suit🐰@SentientSuit

I saw you from across the bar. Stay there. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

715 people are talking about this

Don’t you dare move.

4. Remix Of An Old Classic

Not Will Ferrell@itsWillyFerrell

You can’t spell quarantine without “u r a q t” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

1,113 people are talking about this

Time to brush up on those AIM skills.

5. Funny Because It’s True

Jill in Virusland@Jillinvirusland

“If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d be in the highest tax bracket and then I’d be able to get tested for coronavirus.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

485 people are talking about this

Raya has left the chat.

6. Team Keep The Alphabet The Same

Joy Eilene@joyeilene

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d keep U and I exactly where they are, with eleven letters of longing between them. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

229 people are talking about this

AEIOU and sometimes Y don’t you stay away from me.

7. The Greatest Of All Love Stories

🍒Acidic Blonde™️@Acidic_Blonde

Wanna make plans that we have to cancel? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

210 people are talking about this

Honestly? A good pickup line at any time.

8. Don’t You Dare Hold It Against Me

John C. B.@CatBirder27

#SocialDistancingPickUpLines if I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me?

124 people are talking about this

Britney Spears, we need a remix.

9. The Only Thing I’ll Be Taking Out For A While

Anthony Jimenez@antyabstract

I’ll have what she’s having!

for delivery

and please leave it at my doorstep thank you so much #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

See Anthony Jimenez’s other Tweets

Extra wet wipes, too, thanks.

10. A Pickup Line To Let Them Know You’re Literate

Jill in Virusland@Jillinvirusland

“Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

325 people are talking about this

Reading is sexy.

11. Girl Next Door Vibes

Joy Eilene@joyeilene

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

See Joy Eilene’s other Tweets

I literally have nothing better to do than pace around my block.

12. An Amended Chorus To The Adele Song

Jeff Dwoskin

@bigmacher

Hellooooo
I said hello
I’m not sure I can scream any louder
Never mind
#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

65 people are talking about this

I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to… have a conversation over FaceTime?

13. Wink Wink

Vlada R@Vlada_Ruggiero

Hey baby, I got some rubbers we can use… on our hands… they’re gloves. So we don’t have to touch anything #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

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Always use protection.

14. *dances to Jamiroquai*

Levi the Totally Not Extinct Dinosaur@levi_bullen

I saw you liked and retweeted my tweet, so this is getting pretty serious huh? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

Embedded video

308 people are talking about this

Don’t be jealous because I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.

15. The Bar Is So, So Low

Zvjezdan Patz@zvjezdanpatz

I wash my hands when there’s no pandemic too #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

364 people are talking about this

You better be washing your hands.

16. It’s Truly Our Only Option

Michael@Sckswithsandals

FaceTime and chill? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

217 people are talking about this

Could I interest you in a romantic Zoom meeting?

17. We Stan A TP King

Roman Phoenix@RomanPhoenix4

Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because I can be your Prince Charmin. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

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1,147 people are talking about this

Better than a bouquet of flowers.

18. Say Anything… But At A Reasonable Distance

Ryan Cappo@RyanCappo

I will stand in front of your house with my emergency radio from the 80’s until you are out of quarantine, babe.#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

View image on Twitter
91 people are talking about this

I love you (staying six feet from me). How many more times do I have to say it?

19. I Repeat, The Bar Is So, So Low

Mr. Bagels@fartbagels

I have toilet paper #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

434 people are talking about this

If you have hand sanitizer, I will put a ring on it immediately.

20. Can’t Tell If I’m Terrified Or Turned On

Leanne Sandusky@LeanneSandusky

If covid-19 doesn’t take you out.. can I? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines #stolenfromsomewhere

703 people are talking about this

Honestly, at this point, perhaps a simple heart emoji and virus emoji will woo them.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Women Dating After 50: Is It Worth The Effort?

How often have you heard about women dating after 50? Do you know that over 50s dating can be just as fun and exciting as it is in your twenties?

Are you part of the crowd and wondering if it’s worth the effort? Granted, it does take effort to look your best especially if you are worried about how attractive you are at this age. And, it takes effort to meet good men.

Here’s the thing. If you like being the oddball out at a dinner party, taking yourself for a drive on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and spending Saturday night alone with a quart of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream than it is not worth the effort.

But the reality is most divorced women don’t like the ‘live alone’ lifestyle.

Let’s face it human beings are social animals and most women over fifty would at least like to spend their social time with a male companion and even better would be in a healthy committed relationship.

Lucky for you in today’s world people in their 50’s are now the fastest-growing demographic in the United States, which in and of itself makes it worth your time and energy. Being in a relationship as you head toward retirement years is a very positive way to live your life. Men and women in relationship have fewer health problems than single people.

Depression or the anxiety of dealing with today’s demands are far less if you are in a good relationship.

Having someone that cares about your well-being and happiness as well as you caring about his is a wonderful experience to have each day.

I realize that when you go through a divorce you often think… I’m better off alone. Or you may think I don’t want to take the risk of ending up with some jerk again. However, what you want to remember is today you are a very different woman from who you were when you met your ex 25 or 30 plus years ago.

You’ve paid your dues so to speak and today you are a much wiser woman then you were in your 20’s. A common mistake that women after 50 often make is not to acknowledge who they are today and how far they have come.

Remember the ad “You’ve come a long way baby!”?

Well, that’s true.

I want to encourage you to acknowledge all the life lessons you have learned and all the experiences you have had, that make you the strong and capable woman you are today.

You need to stop thinking about your age, or your horrible divorce or the extra 10 pounds you can’t get rid of. The only things you need to change are your negative thinking around the idea of dating again and turn it into a positive attitude about moving on in your life.

Actually, it is very cool to be a part of the group of women after 50 in today’s world.

In your Grandmothers or even your Mother’s time, this was not considered something a woman could do. In those days a woman was destined to live the rest of her life alone.

To celebrate the fact that you are healthy and free to find your ideal partner to share this stage of your life with.

So, Women dating after 50 is indeed worth the effort.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Amelia – Chapter 6 – Square 1682 – Part 1

So the last few Mondays Amelia and I have been getting killed at the salon and finding repose at Square 1682 pounding drinks. Roman’s on point, plying us with whiskey and chardonnay for a $5.50 check. (See: Roman – Rock n’ Roll Bartender)

He’s always tipped handsomely to match his face. It’s the perfect place for me to drink.

Amelia loves it, because it gives us a night to decompress and get free drinks. I’m happy that for the first time I can hang with my staff.

We’re hanging at the bar and doing our thing, but some older woman starts to talk to Amelia.

This blonde is middle aged and puffy, and waiting to meet her friends upstairs at the hotel. They’re clearly not coming down to meet her and she,s about to attach herself to Amelia.

She’s plowing four fingers of Crown Club in a rock glass.

She somehow inserts herself into our conversation like any lonely drunk.

She attacks Amelia with all of her tales of wind sailing and her activities and kids. It’s like an awful Tinder profile come to life.

I feel for my comrade who’s being very nice because she’s awesome.

This Michelin man in a dress is awful. She’s going on about how she hates young women who are in shape. (Amelia) How she hates how men don’t understand her or how we can lose weight faster than women.

It’s an awful insertion, and the poor lonely middle-aged woman doesn’t know she’s invaded my time with my friend and coworker. I sit quietly and think this is the thing that destroyed her marriage

This is why she’s alone, but I still feel sad for her, as annoying as she is stealing my time with Amelia.

Amelia in the meantime has created a story with this woman that she is my daughter and that I’m her dad.

I find this out about half way between the exchange.

I love exotic fiction and role playing, and admire my coworker for coming up with a creative situation.

Eileen is a cute child. But Amelia is an elegant friend. I understand clearly from 40 years of being in corporate life, but I feel so close to Amelia.

Not the older man preying upon the young girl.

Nothing like that.

I work with her everyday. I look forward to seeing her when Monday arrives. Amelia has a certain magic that radiates her from her every day.

We reveal everything that’s going with us with our romantic lives and it’s just easy and automatic.

It always feels safe, and there’s no judgement. I know Amelia and admire who she is and I feel safe in who I am with her.

I never expected this.

I never expected that it would feel this much fun!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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What is ‘Morning Wood,’ and Why Does it Happen?

Nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) is not a result of sexual arousal or having a dream relating to sex. Instead, it is a normal function of the male reproductive system.

In fact, regular episodes of NPT are a sign that the nerves and blood supply to the penis are healthy.

If a male does not have NPT regularly, it can indicate a health issue, such as erectile dysfunction (ED), which involves having trouble getting or keeping an erection. Not having regular NPT can also suggest other problems with the nerves or the blood supply to the male reproductive organs.

A hormonal imbalance, such as a decrease in testosterone, can also affect how often a person experiences NPT. A lack of regular NPT can sometimes result from not getting quality sleep.

As a person gets older, they can expect to experience NPT less often. This change should happen gradually, as hormone levels shift. Anyone who notices a sudden drop in the number of their NPT episodes should speak with a doctor to rule out any potential health issues.

Causes

“Morning wood” is a common occurrence for most men.

NPT is not a typical erection because it is not related to sexual thoughts, dreams, or stimulation. It is simply a result of sleep cycles, combined with healthy nerves and blood flow in the body.

NPT tends to happen when a person is in a rapid eye movement (REM) phase of sleep. REM sleep can occur several times during an 8-hour sleep cycle. The erection may go away on its own as a person enters deeper sleep. Thus, a person may have erections several times during the night but may not be aware of them.

Often, a person wakes up at the end of a REM sleep cycle, which explains why NPT seems to happen in the morning. In addition, testosterone levels tend to be elevated in the morning. Males have high levels of this hormone, which contributes to sexual function.

An erection caused by NPT may be physically different from one caused by arousal. One study found that some men experienced pain when they had NPT, but not when they had typical erections.

How often should morning wood occur?

Males of various ages, from children to older adults, experience NPT. Usually, younger adults, who have the highest levels of testosterone, will experience nocturnal erections more frequently than children or older people. Young adult males may have NPT every morning and a few times during the night.

The peak of sexual maturity generally happens when males are in their late teens to late 30s, and this may correspond with higher testosterone levels. It is normal for people in this age range to experience frequent episodes of NPT.

As a person approaches their 40s and 50s, they may notice fewer episodes of NPT. This often occurs because testosterone levels are naturally declining. However, the episodes should decline gradually, not suddenly. A gradual decline in NPT with age is customary.

A hormonal imbalance, especially one that affects the penis and testes, can result in few or no episodes of NPT. This is one reason why having regular erections in the morning is an important indicator of healthy male sexual organs.

One study found that men with hypogonadism, which prevents the sexual organs from fully functioning, experienced an increase in NPT after they had received testosterone therapy.

Some research says that a person’s quality of sleep can affect the frequency of NPT. If a person is not getting good sleep and entering the REM cycle, they may not experience nocturnal erections.

A study of 61 men with obstructive sleep apnea and ED found that getting better quality sleep resulted in more frequent NPT. The participants who used continuous positive airway pressure devices had more frequent nocturnal erections than those who did not.

Other studies have used NPT as an indicator of hormonal or sexual health, especially when treating ED.

For instance, if a person has NPT but cannot get or maintain an erection during sexual activity, doctors can rule out issues such as insufficient blood flow or nerve responses in the penis. If this is the case, ED may be a psychological issue, and a health professional can treat it accordingly.

However, if a person has no nocturnal erections and has trouble getting or keeping erections related to sex, doctors may determine that there is a physical cause of ED.

When to see a doctor

A person should speak to a doctor if they notice changes in how frequently NPT occurs.

Because NPT is an indicator of quality sleep and the health of sexual organs, it is helpful to pay attention to how often NPT happens.

If NPT suddenly stops or is happening much less frequently, speak with a doctor. They may wish to discuss possible health conditions, such as sleep disorders, hormonal imbalances, anxiety, and ED.

It is important to see a doctor about a lack of NPT, as it can be a symptom of ED. This condition can indicate serious health issues, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, or diabetes, especially in younger males. A health professional can help treat these conditions, including ED.

Certain medications, such as antidepressants, can make it more difficult for a person to get or maintain an erection. They may also cause a decrease or sudden stop in NPT. Some of these medications include:

  • high blood pressure medications
  • muscle relaxers
  • hormonal medications
  • seizure medications
  • antidepressants
  • histamine H2 agonists (which can help treat some types of ulcers)
  • chemotherapy drugs
  • medications to treat heart arrhythmias
  • diuretics

If a person has recently started a new medication and notices changes in the frequency of NPT, they may wish to speak with their doctor. Sometimes, the doctor can prescribe a different medication to help address this side effect.

See a doctor if NPT or erections in general are painful.

Seek emergency medical help for an erection that does not go away after 4 hours. If this occurs, it can cause tissue damage in the penis and problems with sexual function.

Summary

Morning wood is a healthy function of the male body.

A person should talk with their doctor if they notice a sudden change in the frequency of nighttime erections. This can ensure that a person receives prompt treatment for any underlying health conditions.

 

Five Things to Talk About on a First Date

Ah, the first date. Could anything be more exciting? Or perhaps maybe even a little nerve racking? Almost everyone is nervous upon meeting a stranger for the first time so if you feel the tickle of butterflies in your stomach or perhaps knots, do not despair this is only natural. Making a good impression on the first day is of the utmost importance. As important as it is to look your best and be well groomed, it is equally important to be equipped with what you will say on the date. A lot of factors play into whether or not a first date will go well. Spilling your guts out on the first date can overwhelm the other person.

On the first date it’s important to keep the conversation interesting but also light and fun. Talking about the wrong topics could butcher a first date. It is important to have at minimum a mental list of questions and topics to bring up that are safe to talk about. You don’t want to arrive on a first date looking sharp but also be at a loss for words for the duration of it. Luckily, here is my go-to list of the top 5 Things to talk About on a First Date that will ensure that you get that second date.

1. What is a surprising fact about yourself?
Asking this question will provoke your date to open up without having to dig deep for their answer. It will also help to get some of that initial awkwardness to subside. This question will also prevent the conversation from dragging and becoming dull. They might share a special talent they have or a unique hobby. They might have an embarrassing habit or interest. They might be able to wiggle their ears. Maybe they collect dead bugs or play an unusual instrument? You will never know unless you ask. This question will promote closeness without asking something too personal. It is a good safe question you can use especially if you run out of things to say because you can most likely get away with asking it at any point during the date. After the two of you share the surprising facts about yourselves hopefully a natural chemistry will begin to flow between you.

2. What is something you are passionate about?
It’s important to ask this question on a first date. Having a few things in common with someone certainly does not mean that the two of you are a perfect match. However, sharing a common interest with someone does tend to make the first date go smoother. It will give you a chance to talk about something you are highly knowledgeable or at least passionate about. It will give both of you the chance to relax and talk about your passions with ease. What better way to get to know someone than to watch someone’s eyes light up while you listen to them chatter with enthusiasm about their passions. It also might give you an idea for an activity for a second date. If a hobby or interest is shared between the two of you there is a chance you might want to do that activity together. Or perhaps they have a hobby that you have not yet tried but are interested in. This will give them the opportunity to teach you and you the opportunity to learn something new. It could very well create a bonding experience between the two of you.
3. What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?

If there was ever a question that would shake those first date jitters, it would be this one. I really love this question because it will cause the other person to open up and reveal a part of their genuine self and unravel any false fabrications they may have been using as a front. Every single person has at least a few embarrassing stories and while I’m sure we would all like them to stay buried, it’s an integral step in the process of opening up to someone. Being open and truthful is important even on a first date because trust is built on a foundation of honesty. Being dishonest on a first date will lay the groundwork for a rocky relationship if one is ever to develop. This question will cause both of you to expose a more vulnerable side of yourself, all while sharing a chuckle or two.
4. What are you most afraid of?
This is an interesting question. I think it is an important question because it is one that is not typically asked on a first date or first encounter. It’s a question that might lead to other interesting questions. It will force the conversation to delve a little deeper. While you can’t possibly know someone completely on a first date, this might allow you to catch a glimpse of a person’s real self. Some people have ordinary fears such as snakes, spiders or heights. Others might have a fear that might be considered more unusual such as clowns, drowning or mice. It’s interesting to hear what a person is afraid of and the stories behind the fears that they may use to justify them.

5. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
If you ever run out of things to say, talking about your past travels or dream vacation spots might be a way to get the conversation back on track. The world is wide and beautiful. Who doesn’t dream about going out and seeing it? The destinations that your date selects will also tell you valuable information about their personality. Does their dream destination involve a daring adventure or an athletic activity? Or does it involve a relaxing day at the beach with a cold drink? Knowing if your date is laid back and calm or outgoing and energetic will reveal whether or not the two of you will be compatible in the long run.