Sometimes you just need a little strategy …
I honestly believe that love is something that can be cultivated … to a point.
There has to be a spark of interest there at first, but how deep someone falls in love with you will often be a result of the effort you both put forth to make that feeling happen.
Though you can never force a person to like you (and should never try, even if you could), there are definitely some psychology-based dating tips and methods that can help you learn how to get a guy to like you — and make people think of you more highly in general.
These psychological “mind tricks” are even backed by science.
If you’re trying to get his attention but aren’t exactly sure how to get a guy to like you, give these psychology-based dating tips and tricks a spin.
1. Ask him for favors.
Studies have shown that people tend to like people who they do favors for, even if they initially hated them.
This is because we subconsciously make ourselves believe that the person would do the same for us as we did for them.
This reverse psychology phenomenon is known as the Ben Franklin Effect, since the Founding Father himself was the one who discovered this strange trick. As he wrote in his autobiography: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”
2. Compliment him … just not all the time.
Most guys don’t get complimented frequently, so when they do hear a compliment, they tend to eat it up.
The only problem is that compliments lose their significance if you hear them all the time.
By spacing out compliments to a max of once per day, it keeps him on his toes.
3. Prolong your eye contact just a little bit longer.
It’s true. Studies have found that prolonged eye contact increases the likelihood that two people will fall in love.
The man behind the groundbreaking research on this subject, social psychologist Arthur Aron, says, “the two biggest factors to falling in love through eye contact are i) the other person is reasonably appropriate and desirable, and ii) there is reason to think they might be interested in you.”
4. Use his name.
The names we’re given are music to our ears.
Hearing your name being said by someone is an ego boost, albeit a small one.
Studies have shown that hearing your own name has a unique effect on brain activation, as our “brains involuntarily respond to the sound of our own names, even in a state in which we are unable to respond to or act on anything else. What could be more powerful than that?!”
5. Mirror his gestures.
One of the most common ways that people show a connection to someone is to subtly copy their gestures.
This is actually done on a subconscious level when it’s a seriously natural jive.
Psychologists have noticed that you can actually create a closer bond by mirroring someone, even if those gestures are done totally consciously.
6. Don’t be afraid to show him your flaws.
A lot of women tend to want to hide their flaws and look “perfect” as a way to attract men.
Though you definitely don’t have to show all your flaws immediately, showing him that you occasionally goof up makes you human to him… and it also shows him that you’re not a fake.
7. Expect good things from him.
Among psychologists, this is known as the Pygmalion Effect and it says that we tend to mold to the expectations that people set for us.
If you think he’s a jerk, then you’ll behave in a way that will encourage him to be a jerk, even if it’s on a subconscious level.
So, expect him to be good to you and he will be better to you than if you expected him to be a twerp.
8. Let him talk about himself.
People love to talk about themselves.
We are our own favorite subjects, even if we aren’t narcissists by nature.
By asking him questions about himself, what he does for a living, and getting him to open up, you’re getting him to like you more by indulging him in his favorite topic of conversation.
9. Have a life outside of him.
You know who loves having a woman who has her man as the center of her universe?
Abusers and people who are way too insecure to have a healthy relationship.
By showing him that you’re balanced and not desperate, you’re giving him the green light to pursue you without worrying of you becoming a Stage 5 Clinger.
10. Show that you have similar values, hobbies, and traits to him.
Studies show that we tend to fall in love (or associate) with people when we share similar values and backgrounds as them, a phenomenon known as Similar/Attraction Theory.
So, if he’s a rebel, show your rebellious side.
If he’s a family guy, talk about how important your parents are to you.
11. Be ready to walk if he still doesn’t reciprocate.
Nothing is as sexy as a girl who values herself enough to stop chasing a man.
Be ready to walk if he doesn’t reciprocate feelings.
You never know; he might come around.
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