Social cues are an integral part of human communication. We don’t necessarily have to say anything in order to have healthy interactions, we just have to continually conduct ourselves by social rules and we should be pretty set.
Except….sometimes people just don’t know how to read social cues. This is what we lovingly call being “oblivious.” But sometimes you wonder if somebody is being willingly oblivious. Like when you drop hint after hint after hint but still they just do not get it.
Here were some of those answers.
No Speeding Tickets
We were playing Life and he was the police officer. The rule is, if you spin a 10, he gets your “speeding fines.” I literally pulled open my button down and exposed my breasts and said “what can I do to get out of paying this.”
He said, “ma’am. I am an officer of the law. Are you trying to prostitute yourself to me?”
A couple days of flirting and sexual innuendo later I literally had to spell out that I was trying to get with him. We’ve been together 6 years now
A Totally Different Direction
He told me my hair looked nice. I said, “bet it would look nicer with your hands in it.” He said, in a very confused tone, “…you want me to style your hair?”
Netflix And Move
When my boyfriend and I had just started dating we were laying down watching a movie, but this was a small bed and he was being respectful and giving me space. I kept wiggling backwards so I could get closer to him and he kept inching backwards too, since he thought I was just trying to get comfortable and he was in the way. He ended up sitting in a chair next to the bed.
Three years later we are still together, and I still think it’s pretty funny. He told me that when he was in the chair he purposefully left his hand next to me in case I wanted to hold it, but I guess I missed that sign too. ( He didn’t get out of the bed because he was uncomfortable, he truly thought he was taking up too much space and didn’t realize I was trying to cuddle).
Landed On A Different Runway
I’m the guy in this situation, but I couldn’t help not sharing this story:
In college, this girl I was really into asked if I wanted to hangout at my dorm and drink and watch Netflix.
She came over and we were watching and drinking on the couch in the living room, per my suggestion. Things are going good, and about an hour into it she says “Ooh, lemme see your room”, so we go to my room.
She takes her shoes and socks off and immediately sprawls herself out on my bed and says “Oh my god, your bed is SO comfortable!” I responded with “We live in the same building, it’s the same bed as yours.”
She left about 10 minutes later.
This Is How, Numbskull
After chatting for hours on top of a mountain from sunset until like 2am, sharing a blanket, me leaning my head on his shoulder, telling him he’s attractive, etc. he turns to me and says ‘how do you tell if a girl is into you?’
When You Miss The Giant Bus Driving Right At You
I asked a guy on a festival to come take a shower with me. He didn’t get it. He just repeated there was only one free shower and I was like “well they are big I’m sure it’s fine” and he just looked confused and told me I could go first. We became close friends since that happened about 2 years ago and this summer I spoke to him about it and he really had no idea. He did the biggest facepalm I’ve ever seen.
For Valentine’s a couple of years ago, I mailed my husband a package. The note said, and I quote, “I want you NOW!” I was ready to spring into some extra fun sexy time whenever he opened the package. I had to sit him down and explain a couple of hours later. He was like “OHHHHHHH…”
Date To Mate
On our first date, my current boyfriend and I went out to dinner, to a bar, and eventually back to his house to watch scary movies. After hanging out for almost 8 hours at that point, practically cuddling into him the entire time we were watching movies, dropping as many hints as I could, around 3 am when we were both fighting to stay awake, I finally had to look his dumb head in the eye and ask, “so are you going to kiss me or not?”
Though he was totally oblivious, it did show his good heart. He was about to let me me fall asleep on his couch and spend the night without even trying to kiss me. I knew he was a keeper after that.
Better Late Than Never
Guy here but once had a girl drag me into the bathroom while at a college party saying she needed help finding her marker/pen. We didn’t find it and I figured out what was really going on a year later.
A Waste Of A Line
I had a girl invite me round her house once just to show me her posters. They were all of Harley Davidson motorbikes, and she said she’s never ridden a Harley before… Awkward silence and after a few other sort bits of small talk I decided to be on my way.
2 years later I’m sitting on the bus and realize what she meant… Harley. Ridden a Harley… My name is Harley.
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