It should go without saying that having the character traits that make one likable is one of the most valuable tools any person could ever possess.
Likable people earn more money, get more ass, and generally have better social lives than their counterparts.
And it makes perfect sense when you stop and think about it.
Let’s face it, no one likes an asshole, and more importantly not a single person – not an employer, not a client, not the guy sitting at the bar – wants to be anywhere near someone they can’t stand.
Just think about the last time you were around a person who, for one reason or another, just rubbed you the wrong way.
Perhaps your gut reaction was to just get the fuck out of dodge and away from that person as quickly as possible, or maybe you even wanted to unleash a violent haymaker against the side of his head to shut him the fuck up.
We typically know right away who we like and who we don’t.
Although without even knowing it, you too may fall into the ranks of an unlikeable person.
Hey, we realize that might be hard to believe – how could anyone not like you? – but it is possible you’re not the crowd-pleaser that you think you are.
What’s encouraging, however, is that even if a person falls into this category, he can rise above it by making some minor tweaks to his behavior. But he must first learn more about what makes him unappealing in the first place before a change is possible.
These attributes are a sure-fire sign that there is room for improvement.
It is essential to be confident and feel like you are the very best at what you do – whatever that may be.
But no one likes a braggart.
Most people are privy to this, even people needing so desperately to brag, so they boast about themselves in a way that almost sounds like they are their worst critic.
These people might do this as a way to fish for compliments or to point out their supposed awesomeness to a crowd.
The guy casually playing guitar at a party might talk about how it would be easier for him to get gigs in his hometown if he didn’t write such obscure tunes.
But what he is trying to say is: Hey, I’m writing music unlike anybody in this area, and I’m smarter, more talented, and more original because of it.
The same goes for the guy who makes fun of himself for being a gym rat when all he is doing is drawing attention to the fact that he works out extensively.
He might as well rip off his shirt and make everyone feel his pecs. That’s what he really wants to do.
People who exhibit this behavior believe that it makes them less of a blowhard, but according to Forbes columnist Travis Bradberry, no one is fooled.
“While many people think that self-deprecation masks their bragging, everyone sees right through it,” Bradberry wrote. “This makes the bragging all the more frustrating because it isn’t just bragging; it’s also an attempt to deceive.”
Always So Serious
There are those people who are so desperate to be revered as passionate that they always try to give off the impression as someone who is absorbed in their work.
At social functions, these people might not laugh at jokes, make jokes of their own, or engage in any of the conversations.
They are too busy trying to be seen as intense and focused geniuses to care about having fun.
This is a huge turn-off.
Likable people can be serious about their chosen profession and still cut loose when it is appropriate.
More importantly, they are friendly to others and do not act above them.
“They focus on having meaningful interactions with their coworkers, remembering what people said to them yesterday or last week, which shows people that they are just as important to them as their work is,” Bradberry wrote.
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