19 Things Unhappy People Do

Everyone has their off days, but why cause more negativity if you can avoid it? If you work on thinking positively about yourself and others, you will be that much closer to being your happiest self. Below are 19 things unhappy people do that we should all try to avoid.

Steer Clear of these Losers…

 

Fucking Number 9!

 

1. They worry about things they can’t change

We are all guilty sometimes of wondering what might have been if we had chosen or acted differently. But in most cases, this is a dead-end street. Unhappy people tend to brood about the “could’ve, should’ve, would’ves” of life, but it’s important not to worry about things we can’t change; instead, we should learn from our mistakes and simply try to do better next time! We may even end up being happy that we made some mistakes.

2. They give up when things get too hard

Unhappy people tend to back down when they are presented with a challenge. It’s easy to throw in the towel when things seem like a lost cause, but powering through and persevering will usually yield good results. Giving up just leaves you feeling defeated. Regardless of the outcome, following through boosts confidence and reassures us that when all is said and done, we did everything we could to make it happen!

3. They take themselves too seriously

People who take themselves too seriously tend to take life too seriously in general. If you are able to take a step back and laugh at yourself and the absurdity of life every now and then, things won’t seem so dire.

4. They never exercise

Exercise has countless mental and physical benefits. The more you exercise, the better you feel about yourself and the more likely you are to live a healthy lifestyle. Ditching exercise for a more sedentary way of life can have an overall negative effect on mood, health, and happiness. Here are some workouts that match different moods!

5. They set unattainable goals for themselves

We all know that setting goals for ourselves is important; it’s the only way to get things done! But it can be a problem when the goals are unrealistic and unreachable. While we think it’s great to always reach for the stars, people who hold themselves to impossible standards will be left feeling disappointed if they don’t succeed. The key is to set small and attainable goals for yourself, and you will feel great when you meet and even exceed them. Remember — nobody is perfect!

6. They eat unhealthy foods often

Everyone has their guilty food pleasure, and we fully support the occasional indulgence. However, unhappy people tend to let their indulgences become their habits. Eating healthy foods can lift your mood, give you more energy, and improve your physical health. Plus, there are so many great healthy recipes out there to try.

7. They don’t get enough sleep

Sleep is essential! The amount of sleep you get corresponds with how happy and productive you are the next day. You may think that putting in that extra hour of work is a good idea, but nine times of out 10, work — and most other things! — should take the backseat to a good night’s sleep. Check out some good bedtime habits to aid your beauty sleep.

8. They focus on their weaknesses, not their strengths

We all have our insecurities — the key is to embrace the good and try not to focus on the bad. Self-improvement is important, but unhappy people tend to dwell too much on their weaknesses instead of working on having a positive self-image. We should recognize our flaws and own them but never let them hold us back!

9. They spend too much time on social media

These days people lay out their whole lives online, and there are many drawbacks to this kind of social media over-share. For one, we can spend too much time comparing ourselves to other people. It’s great that your friend just got a new job, got married, or had a baby, but it’s OK that you are at a different — and just as important — part of your life. It’s a good idea to take a step away from the screen and get some perspective. Unhappy people tend to get caught up in social media and worry too much about how they appear to other people, which can have a negative effect on how they view themselves.

10. They stay in their comfort zones

It’s easy to stay in our comfort zones where we feel safe and where the potential for risk is low. But staying there too long means we may be missing out on some great things in life. A huge contributing factor to unhappiness is boredom — and this can be easily remedied by trying new things and taking some risks! We don’t necessarily mean that you should drop everything and go skydiving, but maybe try a new type of food, go see a show that sounds unusual, or take a weekend trip somewhere that you’ve never been.

11. They worry about what other people think

Unhappy people tend to care too much what people think. At the end of the day, there is only so much you can do to please other people, so what matters most is loving yourself.

12. They gossip or speak negatively about others

If you can’t say something nice, then there is no reason to say anything at all. People who are unhappy sometimes try to bring other people down in order to make themselves better, but this never works! A better remedy is to lift others up and work on feeling great.

13. They work too much

Everyone deserves a mental health day! People who work too much can often neglect their needs, and sometimes all you need is a day to take a break from work and focus on yourself.

14. They isolate themselves

When things get tough, it’s easy to withdraw from the people who care about you. But spending time with close friends and family when you’re unhappy is actually a great way to feel better. Sometimes being with people can take our minds off whatever is bringing us down, so surrounding ourselves with people who love us most is a great way to turn things around.

15. They never indulge themselves

Happy people know that it’s important to take a vacation, splurge on a new outfit, or enjoy a spa day now and then. People who aren’t happy sometimes forget that taking care of themselves is just as important as taking care of others. Make sure to treat yourself!

16. They’re OK with settling

People who are unhappy often stay in their comfort zones and are content to settle for things. Whether it’s staying stuck in a relationship that isn’t making us happy or settling for one job when we have our eye on another one, staying in ruts can make us feel like our lives have plateaued. Happy people work to get themselves out of these ruts and make the changes needed to start heading in the direction they want to be going.

17. They refuse to forgive

Unhappy people tend to hold on to grudges, but there is freedom and peace in letting go of things and offering forgiveness to yourself and others.

18. They avoid planning and organization

Disorganization can leave people feeling like their lives are in a state of disarray. Even if it is something as simple as rearranging your room or trying out these DIY organization hacks, restoring order can help you feel like you have regained a measure of control over things. Unhappy people who avoid organization and planning ahead tend to be less prepared to deal with life’s twists and turns.

19. They focus only on themselves

While caring for yourself is essential, unhappy people tend to only think of themselves. Treating others unkindly or constantly focusing on yourself and your own problems can be harmful to your well-being and happiness. It’s amazing what a little bit of kindness and looking at the bigger picture can do for the soul!

 

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7 Signs Your Partner Has Feelings For Someone Else, According To Experts

Finding out that your partner is in love with someone else can be a total shock to the system. Sometimes you really can’t see it coming. There are some people who are really good at hiding what’s going on with them. But for most people, falling in love is a process that doesn’t really happen overnight. When your partner is falling for someone else, experts say you’ll likely notice some small changes in their behavior.

“We should always be paying attention to the subtle changes in our relationship because, whether it changes for better or worse, it usually evolves inch by inch,” Mariel Mangold, LCSW, relationship expert and licensed psychotherapist, tells Bustle. “If you’re just waiting for a glaring red flag, you may be missing some smaller yellow flags along the way.”

You shouldn’t blame yourself for failing to see the signs, nor should you try to look for signs when there really aren’t any. When you think things are going well, it’s healthy to not look for problems. Mangold just says it’s just important to always be in tune to your relationship. That way, you can celebrate when it’s going well and get ahead of problems as they’re developing.

So if you notice any of these subtle changes, experts say your partner may be falling for someone else.

1. They Aren’t As Thoughtful And Affectionate As They Used To Be

“The first telltale sign that your partner could be falling for someone else is a distancing from you,” Diana Mikas, love life coach, tells Bustle. Their distance can be physical. For example, sex may not be as frequent as it used to be. They may not go completely cold on you right away, but something about their kiss, touch, or hug may feel off to you. Their distance may even show in the way speak to you. For instance, if they stop complimenting you or calling you by your special name, that can indicate something may be up. Of course, there are many other explanations as to why this may be happening, so your best bet is to talk to your partner, and try to get answers.

2. They’re Being More Selfish And Secretive With Their Money

If they had no problem treating you out and now they’re constantly asking to split the bill or they suddenly have budget restrictions, Mikas says that may be a red flag. To be fair, they could have experienced a change in their job or money situation. So this is one to really look out for if your partner is also spending more money on lunches or nights out. Either way, if they haven’t explained why they suddenly have restrictions, they may be keeping something from you. Talking with them is the only real way to know for sure.

3. They’re Emotionally Withdrawn

If your partner is falling for someone else, they may not be as emotionally available to you as they used to be. If you ask them how their day went, they may be short with you and give you a simple, “fine.” If you try to have a deeper conversation with them, they might shut down and ask to talk about it later. “When someone is emotionally cheating, they may start pulling away from the relationship out of guilt because they know they’re betraying someone they love,” Mangold says. They’ll be very conflicted and withdrawn. Since they can’t talk things over with you without feeling bad about it, they’d rather keep things to themselves.

4. They Casually Mention Another Person Constantly

Just think about the early days of your relationship. When you’re excited about someone, it’s so common to keep bringing up all the little things they said or did. Many times, you can’t help it. “If your partner is constantly having someone else on their mind, they may start bringing them up in conversation whenever they’re reminded of them,” Jeannie Assimos, chief of advice at eharmony, tells Bustle. It may not catch your attention at first. If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner is allowed to be friends with people you don’t know. But if you keep hearing someone’s name being brought up over and over again, it may be worth paying attention to.

5. They’re Reluctant To Hold Your Hand In Public

This alone shouldn’t really raise any red flags unless it’s a complete change. But if it’s coupled with other warning signs, it’s worth looking into. According to Mangold, on some level your partner may not want to be seen as partnered up or in a relationship with you. “If you’re walking next to each other and not holding hands, that can be totally fine,” she says. “But if they’ve started walking ahead of you, behind you, or putting a lot of distance between you, you may want to ask them what that’s about.”

6. They Get Easily Irritated With You

“Spending intimate time with a partner you aren’t actually interested in anymore will get frustrating after awhile,” Assimos says. If your partner is falling for someone else, spending time with you may start to feel like a chore. Because of that, they may lose their patience and get frustrated with you more easily or get mad for the smallest things.

7. Your Gut Is Telling You That Something Is Off

Unless you’re just a naturally suspicious person, you should always go with your gut. If you feel like they’re distracted or that something is off, you could be right. But as Chris Seiter, relationship consultant and breakup specialist, tells Bustle, don’t react right away. “It could just be a passing interest,” Seiter says. “Having a gut feeling isn’t really proof that they’re cheating. It could simply mean they’re noticing other people.”

If you spot any of these signs, the best thing to do is have a direct conversation with your partner. Assuming that they’re already cheating can make things worse than they really are. Try to approach them by being calm and curious, not accusatory. “Always start from a question,” Mikas says. “Be inquisitive, not the executioner (e.g. ‘I really appreciate how you show your love by calling me your ‘love bug.’ I noticed that you haven’t been using this term of endearment lately. Why not?’).”

It’s better to ask and get your answer right away, then worry yourself over something that may or may not be happening. Once you know the truth, you can decide where to go from there.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Party in the Front

Me on the left. (F# Major)

This was early ’80s, in L.A. We were a five piece rock/pop group, and I played guitar. The bar was rather large, with guest/band rooms upstairs and a “special event” room behind the main bar. There’d be comedians, male & female “dancers” and such back there. This particular week the bar had female dancers in that room. We were playing our regular, routine show on a pretty dead Wednesday night. Big difference that night was most if not all the girls from that back room were sitting there watching us. Nothing better to do, I guess. I could always pull talent from that willing pool of women.

Like a lot of bars, this one also held drawings for various door prizes. This night was no different.

We’d played a couple sets, and our singer (Later left the band. Too much into nose candy) announced that anybody holding a ticket should get ready for the drawing. He’s standing there, holding the glass jar with the tickets in one hand, and his mic in the other, when the bass player, Frank nonchalantly walked behind him. Frank suddenly turned, grabbed the singer’s spandex pants and yanked them down to his knees. No undies. The singer, standing there with his junk hanging out, looked down, slowly turned, and kind of shuffled off stage, behind the mains, where he put down the glass jar and his mic, then pulled his pants back up. The girls out front were dying. Indeed, the entire room was laughing so hard even the bartender had tears in his eyes.

The singer came back on stage with his mic, and said “okay, that was different…” He looked at Frank, the bass player and told him “…I’ll kill you later…” and we proceeded to finish the set, and the rest of the night. The singer was a really funny guy (I say “was” because he’s dead now) and an incredibly good sport. Interestingly, he slept with most of those girls as a direct, or indirect, result of that “incident”. (Well done, sir!)

This one’s for you, buddy. 40 years on, and we still talk about, laugh at, and miss you.

 

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