You probably want to sit down for what I’m about to tell you because it’s going to blow the lid off everything you thought you knew about relationships. A new study done at the University of Toronto’s Department of Psychology discovered that fear of being single leads both men and women to settle for relationships that don’t fulfill them. Obviously, I am being sarcastic about this being mind-blowing news. Raise your hand if you’ve continued dating someone you weren’t amped about because you watched The Mamas And The Papas “Behind The Music” and couldn’t bear the thought of choking on a sandwich and having no one there to do the Heimlich Maneuver. Raise your hand if you’ve been exclusive with the first person you met online because you were new to a city and you were afraid they were the only person you’d meet. Raise your hand if you’ve continued to date someone, knowing they were awful, just because you needed a plus one to your best friend’s wedding? OK. All of us? Good. Then this study is for you!
“Those with stronger fears about being single are willing to settle for less in their relationships. Sometimes they stay in relationships they aren’t happy in, and sometimes they want to date people who aren’t very good at them. Now we understand that people’s anxieties about being single seem to play a key role in these types of unhealthy relationship behaviors,” says the lead author of the study, Stephanie Spielmann.
WHOA. Really?? So our anxiety about a long, sprawling life alone with our plants or our pets or our gaming console is directly proportionate to how bad our dating choices are? GOOD TO KNOW. The scientists concluded, wisely, that loneliness does not discriminate on the basis of gender. I repeat all humans get fucking lonely. Don’t settle out of fear. Your best efforts are spent managing your anxiety about spinsterhood (and whatever the male equivalent of that is) so that you don’t pick the worst people ever to date.
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